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We are here today to grieve the untimely death of Frank Abraham…

Kid stared straight ahead as the words swept across the cemetery, carried by the wind. She watched as the casket was lowered and felt the presence of her brothers around her. Untimely death. You can say that again. He died way before he was supposed to. It wasn’t natural to be burying your father in your teens. It simply wasn’t supposed to be like this.

When it was time for them to throw flowers on top of the casket, she lined up behind her brothers. As she stepped forward, she contemplated the casket that was in the ground. It looked so… impersonal. Yet, it held one of the most influential people in her life. She wondered what had ran through his mind before he squeezed the trigger. Did he think about her? About Max and Adrian and Kell? Or maybe he just wanted to get it over with so he could meet Mom. *Did* he meet Mom? She hoped he did. She desperately wanted to believe that something good would come out of this. But what could? Her mother was gone, and now her father, too. As she let go of the blood red rose, she felt as if she was letting go of everything she believed real.

After it was over, everybody came and said their condolences. Kid noticed that it was pretty dark but it wasn’t raining. Even if it was still 4 pm, she wouldn’t have been surprised if she saw a bright full moon in the sky. This seemed like the day for unnatural things to occur.

Kell put his arm around Kid and guided her towards the car. She was glad he did since her body felt as if it weighed a ton.

*

I looked as Kid walked away from the casket. Me and Howie were right at the back of the crowd but I still could see some of what was going on. When everybody had dispersed, we approached Kell and Kid.

When she looked up at me I didn’t know what to say. She had usually been the strong one, always sticking up for me at school. Now, she looked horrible. Her clothes were hanging off her frame; she had obviously lost weight. She had dark bruises under her eyes and her face looked hollow, gaunt.

I had this impulse to hit anything in vicinity.

Why was everything so unfair? Kid hadn’t done anything terribly wrong in her life as far as I knew. She didn’t deserve this. Her mother shouldn’t have been killed by a drunk driver. Her father shouldn’t have committed suicide. Lou shouldn’t have been such a fucking prick that I had to throw a fucking tantrum to come to the funeral.

But all that had happened. And nobody was to blame. That fact made me madder than ever.

A cold, small hand slipped into mine. Kid wasn’t exactly looking at me but I knew she was trying to hold on to me so I wouldn’t do anything stupid.

I squeezed her hand and tried to do something else, like smile reassuringly, but that was not possible right now.

Howie was talking to Kell before he turned to face me.

“You’ll be alright?”

“Yeah. Just, you know, need some time.”

“Okay. I’ll meet you back at the Abraham’s place.”

I seriously loved Howie.

We decided to take a walk through the neighborhood. I had only been gone a few months but it felt like forever. There were new shops and different houses and different neighbors…

We reached a playground near the Abraham’s house. It looked like it was about to pour so it was pretty deserted.

“Let’s sit,” I said.

Kid looked like she was about to collapse so clichéd seating options such as swings, see-saws and slides were out, as were those small animals that rocked back and forth which were poor imitations of a merry go round.

I led her over to a decent-looking bench and we sat down. One hand was in my coat pocket while the other was holding Kid’s. I couldn’t believe how cold it was. No matter how I willed my body heat to transfer itself to her, it didn’t work.

“You’ve grown.”

“Yeah, I have.” I permitted a small smile to cross my lips.

“I think you’re even taller than Max. And you’re just 16.”

I didn’t say anything for a while.

“How are you?”

“I don’t know. I’m supposed to feel shitty, I guess.”

I looked down, not seeing anything. I hadn’t been there for her. She hadn’t said a word to me about how her Dad was all these months. People don’t just go around shooting themselves for no apparent reason.

“Let’s walk some more,” she said, standing up.

I thought about this. If she fainted or anything, we were pretty near to her house so I could probably carry her or ask for help or something.

I stood up and followed her lead. We walked past outdoor cafes and tiny shops and finally reached a lake. I was pretty sure it would’ve been beautiful on a normal Florida day but right now it just looked dark and forbidding.

“Wanna go for a swim?”

I looked down at her. In another time, I would’ve totally been tempted to just jump in and forget everything. But everybody had basically given me custody of her so I couldn’t.

“Well, seeing as I don’t know how deep the lake is and it looks especially creepy right now, sure!”

“Oh, come on, hot shot. You used to jump into these kind of things.”

I sighed. “I was young and naïve.” How true. “Showbiz has matured me. Can we go now, please? It’s cold here.”

She sighed back at me, giving the lake a longing look. “Fine, fine. Let’s go.”