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Chapter 10

"Daddy!!!" Tyler yelled from down the hall. Nick shot up from his bed when he heard little Tyler's screams. He hurried out of his bed and towards Tylers room. He opened the door to see Tyler sitting up, with tears rolling down his tiny cheeks.

"What happened little man?" Nick asked sitting next to Tyler on the bed.

"I had a bad dream," he said as he leand against Nick.

"Oh, it's alright buddy. Dreams can't hurt you. They're fake, you know, make believe," Nick told him. Tyler sniffled and looked up at Nick.

"Really?" he asked. Nick couldn't help but smile at how innocent he really was. At times Nick wished that he himself were that innocent.

"Yes really. Besides, do you think Daddy would let anything hurt you?"

"No."

"That's right. I'd never let you get hurt alright man? Just remember, daddy's always here for you man. Anytime you need him."

"Even if there were monsters in my closet?" he asked.

"Yep. I'd get 'em all outta there and make sure they never come back to mess with my boy," Nick answered.

"Even if they were bigger than you?"

"Especially if they were bigger than me."

"What if they go under my bed?" Nick laughed and looked down at his son, who was staring up at him. His eyes wide with wonder.

"Then I'd go in after them and get them."

"What if we set a trap and caught them?"

"When we got them, what would we do with them huh?"

"Keep 'em as pets!" Tyler shouted with joy.

"No I don't think so. They might scare everyone away from here man. I could always get you a puppy."

"A puppy?" Tyler asked with his eyes shining.

"Yeah, your own puppy. Would you like that?"

"YES!!" Tyler shouted. He was now on his knees clapping his little hands together.

"Alright, but you have to go to bed right now. I promise we'll go in the morning and get you your puppy," Nick said to Tyler.

"I'm not tired daddy," Tyler protested.

"You've got to go to bed Ty. How 'bout if daddy stays here with you? Would you at least try to go to sleep then?"
"I dunno," Tyler replied.

"Please for daddy?" Nick said tickeling Tyler, causing him to fall onto Nick in a fit of laughter. Nick smiled as Tyler continued to giggle, even after Nick had let him go. A few moments later Tylers laughter died down and he snuggled up against Nick. His little hands grabing onto Nicks shirt. Nick smiled and put his arm around Tyler. Tyler was so tiny compared to Nick.

A small smile slowly appeared on Nicks face as he looked down at his son. He placed a soft kiss on the top of his head and let out a long breath. Nicks eyes stayed on Tyler. Things were going to be alright he assured himself. He would never let anything happen to Tyler and he would do anything to make sure of that. Even if it meant getting help. He would have done anything at that point.

"Why can't you be here Erika," Nick whispered, "things would be so much better if you were here."

"She is with you," Leighanne said from the door. Nick turned his head quickly to see her standing there, looking in at him and his son, "she's in your heart and she's a part of Tyler. She's always going to be with you Nick."

"How long have you been standing there?" Nick asked, not wanting to say anything about her last comment.

"Just a minute. Don't worry, I wasn't spying on you. I just needed to use the bathroom and I heard what you said about Erika."

"That's between.." Nick said with his voice trailing off.

"You and Erika? Trust me Nick, she knows what you're saying. She's probably looking down from heaven at you right now and she knows that Tyler and you are going to be alright because you have each other and that's what you both needed."

"I need her," Nick said slowly removing his arm from Tyler so that he wouldn't wake him up again. Once he was free from Tyler he stood up and looked over at Leighanne, "I'm going to go to bed now."

"Nick wait," she called as Nick stormed out of the room, "please. I didn't mean to upset you. I just wanted to help."

"But you didn't help. I just need to do things on my own now alright?" Nick said as he stopped and turned around to face her, "I'm sick of you and Brian telling me that everything's going to be alright. Yeah, it might be alright but it's not going to be the same."

"It was never going to be the same," she replied.

"What if you lost Brian, Leighanne?" Nick asked suddenly.

"Excuse me?"

"What would happen if you lost Brian?"

"I would be hurt beyond belief," she replied reluctantly because she knew that was what Nick wanted to hear.

"You better believe you would," he said to her, "you can't even imagine the pain that I'm feeling or that you would feel. It's like your heart has been ripped out and broken into a million pieces. So stop telling me that everything's going to be alright because you don't know that. You don't know what I'm going through," Nick said with tears rapidly rolling down his cheeks.

"Nick, we love you," she replied as she took a step closer to Nick, trying not to say that everything was going to be alright, she knew that was the last thing that he wanted to hear, "You know that. You also know that we're always going to be there for you no matter what, that is if you want us around. Just don't completely push us away because you'll not only be hurting yourself, but us too because you're one of our closest friends."

"I'm going to bed," Nick said as he walked into his room and shut the door behind him. Nick locked the door behind him. He didn't want anyone to come in there just yet. He wanted to be alone for now. Nick turned his back to the door and leand on it. He wouldn't have been able to hold himself up much longer. Slowly, he slid down the door until he was on the floor. His knees came up to his chest and he wrapped his arms around them.

Tears started to freely flow from his eyes. He didn't know what to do any more. He didn't have the strength to act like everything was alright any more. It had only been a few days, how was he going to be able to keep this up forever? It was impossible. He hated having everyone telling him that it was going to be alright, she was dead, nothing was alright and they never would be again. That he was sure of.

"Nick open the door right now," Brian said as he continued to bang on Nicks door.

"Go away Brian. Just leave me alone for a while. Please 'cause it's what I need right now," Nick answered, trying his best to cover the hurt in his voice.

"Have you been crying?" Brian asked. Good going, Nick thought. He knew I was crying.

"No, I'm just tired," he replied, "just let me get some sleep. I'll be fine in the morning."

"Nick please, just open the door," Brian pleaded.

"No," Nick yelled as he remained on the floor. His tears coming down even harder at that moment. He didn't care about who knew he was crying any more.

"Nickolas," Brian shouted. Nick took a shaky breath as he remained on the floor, "come on. Open the god damn door. I want to talk to you."

"Just leave me the fuck alone alright?" Nick yelled as he wrapped his arms tighter around his legs. He just wanted to be alone at that moment. Why couldn't Brian understand that? Nick shut his eyes tightly hoping that Brian would just go away.

"Come on bro. Please talk to me. Let me in. Just me. Once I'm done talking, that's it. You won't have to talk any more, unless you want to that is. 'Cause you know if you want to talk, I'm always there for ya man. Always," Brian said, hoping his words would touch Nick enough that he would open the door and let him in.

"No," he said, his voice coming out as a whisper. He wasn't even sure if Brian had heard him or not.

"Nick, how about we get you a doctor?"

"I don't need one," he yelled, becoming angry.

"I think you do Nick. You can't do this. It's going to hurt Tyler," Brian responded. Nick looked up and around his room, unsure of what he should do. "What kind of effect do you think that this is going to have on Tyler? He doesn't know any better. This is going to hurt him as much as it's hurting you." Nick sniffled and whiped the tears away from his eyes and stood up and opened the door.

"Ty's okay right?" Nicks voice came out weak and fearful.

"Yeah he's fine man. He'll be even better once you get some help. How 'bout you do this for him?" Brian asked, looking at his best friend. His heart had broken when he looked at Nick. He hadn't seen him this bad. It was almost too much for him to bare.

"For Ty?" Nick repeated. His eyes wondering over to Tylers bedroom. The door was pulled shut so that the noise in the halls wouldn't bother him.

"Yeah," Brian answered, "I can get you an appointment for tomorrow. Me and Leigh and take Tyler to the park while you're away. It'll only be for about an hour or so. How about that?"

"He's going to be alright, right Bri?"

"Yeah of course. Leigh and I are going to take good care of him, okay?" Nick nodded and looked at Brian.

"Only for Ty. That's the only reason why I'm gonna do this."

"I understand man and trust me, you're doing it for the right reason."

"I'm just so scared," Nick admitted with the tears starting once again.

"It's alright to be scared man," Brian replied and hugged his friend, "everyone gets scared sometime. Don't worry about it though 'cause everything's gonna be okay. It's all gonna get better, I promise."