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Chapter 11

Nick looked at himself in the mirror. He looked horrible. Bags were beginning to form under his bloodshot eyes. After Brian had made him the appointment with the doctor, Nick wasn't able to sleep. He spent the whole night laying awake in his bed, thightly clutching a pillow. Once morning had arrived, he could hear Brian going into Tylers room to tell him that Nick, daddy, was going to be out for the day and he and Leighanne were going to take him to the park. He seemed excited about that idea.

I should be the one taking him to the park Nick thought to himself but Brian convinced him that he needed to do this for Tyler so he wasn't going to back down now. Not when it might have meant hurting his son. No, Nick was never going to be the kind of father that let his son down constantly. He was going to be a great father. This was going to help him. Nick turned his head when the sound of a soft knock filled the room.

"Come in," Nick said as he stepped back from the mirror. Leighanne stepped into the room and looked at him. She was hurting for him. He was in so much pain for such a young man, she thought.

"Do you want me or Brian to drive you over to the doctor and pick you up later?" she asked thoughtfully. She wanted to do something that might help him. Nick let a small, polite, smile come across his face.

"No thanks. I can do this alone if you don't mind," Nick said softly. She nodded her head and continued to look over at him.
"Alright," she finally replied, "but remember, the offer still stands."

"Thanks," he answered as she closed the door to his room. Nick dropped onto his bed and looked up at the celing. He was starting to regret telling Brian that he would do this. It scared him that he would be talking to someone that he only knew for a few minutes and she would be asking him personal questions. He didn't like the idea. Everytime he had just about convinced himself that he wasn't going to do it, something reminded him of Tyler and that he was doing it for him. He had to br strong for his son and not be so damn selfish.

"Nick," Brian said as he opened the door to the bedroom, "me and Leigh are ready to take Tyler over to the park for awhile. Are you sure that you don't want us to give you a ride?"

"Nah, it's alright man. I can give myself a ride," Nick replied as he sat up and looked over at Brian who didn't really know what to say to Nick anymore. Things were getting to hard. Being there for Nick was getting harder, but he was determined to stay for him though. Nick needed someone, a good friend like Brian.

"Alright, we'll see you later," Brian replied, "let me know how it goes alright?"

"Yeah, sure," Nick answered as Brian walked out of the room, leaving the door open. Nick remained sitting on the bed until he heard Brian and Leighanne drive off. He sighed, he knew he had to go so he stood up from the bed and walked down to the living room. His car keys were on the coffee table. He grabbed them and walked out to his car. He kept telling himself that he was doing the right thing. He knew he was but he just didn't feel comfortable about doing this for some reason. Maybe the fact that he had to tell some stranger the things that he was feeling, even the things that he hadn't told his friends about.

Then again, if he told someone that he didn't know then the people he did know would never find out about how he really felt and what he was really going through. On the other hand, he was a BackStreet Boy, people were bound to find out about it. What if the person that he was going to talk to couldn't be trusted? Brian would never do that to him, Nick told himself. He probably spent the whole night awake himself looking for someone that Nick could trust. That was the kind of guy that Brian was. He always went out of his way to make sure that the people he loved would be okay. That's what made Brian the great guy that he was.

Nicks mind wondered to Tyler. He was probably having so much fun at that moment. Maybe he was on the swings with Brian or Leighanne pushing him. His laughter was such a great sound. It made Nick happy to see Tyler happy. Nick smiled as he thought of Tyler. Erika would have been so proud of Tyler. He was everything that she wanted in a son. A perfect little boy. Having this family made Nick feel complete. He never thought that having a son at such a young age with the woman that he loved would be so fullfilling.

Too bad a key element was taken from the picture. They would have made the perfect family. There would have been more kids. Brothers and sisters for Tyler to play with. It would have been a family out of a dream. They would have been so great together. It wasn't like they were far from it. Nick was about to make Erika his wife. Things would have been more complete that way. She would have been Mrs. Carter and not just 'Nick's girl.'

There wedding would have been amazing. He would have flown her, her family, his family and the guys out to some island somewhere. They would have had the ceremony on the beach. It would have been beautiful. Tyler could have a part in the wedding too. Erika would have loved it to no end. Like he loved her. Everything was ended in one night. All his plans, his dreams, taken away from him by some selfish bastard. It wasn't fair. This guy had no right to take everything away from him the way he did.

Or in any way. Nicks blood began to boil when he began to think about this guy. Yeah, he was spending some time in jail but he would be able to go home to his family. He could touch them. Hug them. Nick couldn't do that. Erika was gone no matter what. As far as Nick was concerned this man was let off easy. He didn't have everything taken away from like Nick did. He didn't have to put the pieces of his life back together.

Nick stopped the car once he reached the doctors office. In a way he was glad to be there, it would take his mind off of this guy, at least for a little while anyway. He would probably come up in the conversation. After all, he was the reason why Erika wasn't there and the reason why he was even there in the first place. Nick pushed the thoughts from his mind as he walked into the the office. His eyes roamed the room.

"Hello, can I help you?" the woman behind the desk asked. Nick looked over at her and walked up to the desk.

"Uh yeah. My name's Nick and my friend Brian called you guys for me. I have an appointment," Nick explained.

"Carter?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied.

"Alright. Just go in there," she said as she pointed to a door on the other end of the room, "the doctor will be in to talk to you in a few moments."

"Thank you," Nick said as he nodded and walked towards the door. He opened the door and walked in. The room was simple. There was just a desk and a couch. A bookshelf was on the other wall. It was filled with books. He looked over all the awards and stuff that were hung upon the walls of the tiny room. This woman must know what she's doing if she's won all these Nick thought. He relaxed a little bit and took a seat on the couch. He was still very nervous. What was he supposed to say to this woman?

He had a hard enough time talking to his friends. It was a little weird having to put his trust into someone that he hadn't even met yet. He was just going to have to learn to trust her. For Tyler. He had to do this. He couldn't let Tyler down.

"Hello Mr. Carter," the older woman said as she walked into the room, "I'm Dr. Lake. Your friend called me last night because he thought that it would be helpful for you to talk to me."

"Yeah he did," Nick replied.

"Do you think he went?" Leighanne asked Brian as she sat down on the park bench next to him. He looked over at his wife.

"Yeah. I told him to do it for Tyler. I think that was enough to get him to go," he explained.

"I just keep thinking that he backed out or something," she informed Brian, "and that's why he didn't want us to drive him. 'Cause if we did drive, he would have had to have gone to talk to her."

"Look," he replied, "part of helping Nick is believeing him. If he says that he's going to do something then we're going to have to take his word for it. Then if we think that he's been lying, that's when we do something. Right now though, we have to let him do things by himself right now. We just have to trust him."

"I know, but I just want him to feel better so bad," she answered, "I hate seeing him in so much pain."

"I do too but Nick has to help himself before we can help him. Just relax and trust him. He went, I can feel that he did so lets just wait until we go back to Nicks and see how it went," Brian replied, as he kept his eyes on Tyler as he played in the sand box.