[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter 16

Brian stared through the window of the waiting room. Everyone else had fallen asleep, no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't fall asleep himself. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw Nick lying in the pool of blood in the kitchen. That was going to be an image that would stay with him forever. Even once Nick was better, he wouldn't be able to act like everything had always been alright. It wasn't.

"Excuse me sir," a nurse said, causing Brian to look in her direction.

"Which one of you guys is Brian? Mr. Carter's asking for him," she asked.

"I'm Brian," he replied. She smiled at him.

"Alright, come with me please," she asked. Brian nodded and walked out the the waiting room with her. She didn't say anything to him and he wasn't sure if he should ask her any questions about Nick's condition. He wasn't even sure if she knew anything or was just sent by someone to let them know that Nick was ready. "Here we are," she said when they arrived at Nicks room, "do you need me to stay or can you remember the way to the waiting room?"

"I think I can make it back, thank you," he replied. She smiled again and walked away from him. Brian took a deep breath and reached for the door knob. He was almost afraid to go in there because he thought that it migth be the end, but he knew that was crazy. With that, he opened the door. His heart broke when he looked in at Nick. He was hooked up to all of these machines. His heart rate was being messaured and he had tubes all over. It was really hard to look at especailly when the person going through this was Nick.

"Brian," Nick said softly.

"Yeah man it's me," he said as he started to walk futher into Nicks room and next to Nicks bed, "I'm right here."

"I saw her," Nick said. Brian looked down at Nick. He looked so bad he thought.

"Who'd you see?" Brian asked, somewhat confused.

"Erika," Nick replied, "I saw her Brian. She was right next to me. I was with her again. She was angry with me Brian. She said I was stupid for doing what I did, but I don't think so, I just wanted to be with her again so badly."

"You will be, someday. Trust me," Brian asnwered.

"How's Tyler? Is he alright?"

"He's okay and with his grandmother. She found out about what happened and she came and took him from Leighanne. Leigh said she did the best she could to convince her to let Tyler stay with you but she wasn't hearing it. When you get out of the hospital though," Brian said, hoping to cheer Nick up, "he can come back to stay with you."

"How long is that going to be Brian?"

"I don't know," Brian answered, "I really don't know."

"So who's here?"

"Everyone. You're family flew out to see you man. They're real worried about you. You're mom was really upset. The other guys are here too, they're worried too. We all are," Brian answered.

"Well, you don't have to worry any more, I'm okay," Nick said, his voice still weak.

"Nick."

"Yeah Bri?"

"Why'd you do it? I mean why did you try and kill yourself? Things were going to get better. We were off to a good start man."

"I just wanted to be with her again," Nick answered after a moment of hesitation. A tear was now rolling down his cheek, "I couldn't take it."

"Nick, you didn't have to do this. I mean you went to the doctor and everything. That was the beginning of a better life. Why did you try and give up?"

"I didn't try to give up Brian. I just wanted to be with her again."

"You knew that it would be easier to just do this than it would be to try and get better. I'm not going to lie to you, you're going to have a rough time ahead of you, but please, just promise me one thing. Promise me that you will never do this to me again. I was so god damn scared that we would lose you. You're better than that."

"Brian..."

"Nick, promise me that you won't do this again. 'Cause you're not only hurting yourself but you're hurting all of us. We just want you to be safe, alright? So promise me."

"I promise," Nick replied.

"No matter how hard it gets you have to hang in there alright?"

"I'll do my best. I promise," Nick told Brian.

"Good 'cause I'll be dammed if I just sit back and do nothing. I refuse to act like I don't know what my best friend has a problem. I'm not going to ignore the fact that you have a problem 'cause then I won't be that good of a friend. There is no way in hell that I'm going to let you do this to yourself, I'm not going to let myself sit back and pretend you're fine when you're not. I will not let you hurt yourself again," Brian told him sternly.

"Don't feel guilty about this 'cause you didn't do anything wrong," Nick told him, sencing the fact that Brian was hiding some guilt for what had happened, "you couldn't have changed this."

"What are you talking about Nick?"

"I know you feel bad about this," he replied, "guilty actually. If you had driven me to the doctor that would have stopped me for now but I was going to do this no matter what you did so don't think that you could have done anything to change that."

"If I had been there everytime then it never would have because you would have gotten better by then and this wouldn't have happened," he said sadly.

"Bri, I would have found away. You couldn't be with me 24/7," he replied, "I was alone at night. There was the perfect chance man. We'd be here right now regardless so don't blame yourself man you did nothing but try to help me."

"I can't believe that," Brian answered.

"Rok," AJ said from the door. Brian turned around to look at him. He had taken his sunglasses off and his eyes were bloodshot and he looked like complete crap, "he's right ya know. This woulda coulda shoulda shit isn't going to change anything. What's done is done and we have to deal with that man."

"AJ.." Brian started.

"Don't beat yourself up," AJ interupted, "and thats the end of it. So Nick," AJ said changing the subject, "how are you feeling man? Anything I can do for ya?"

"No, it's okay. I'm just real tired, I wanna get some sleep alright?" he said to AJ, yawning.

"Alright man, Rok and I'll see you in the mornin'," AJ said as he grabbed Brians arm and they walked out of Nicks room.
"AJ," Brian started, "what the hell did you just do that for? I needed to talk to him."

"Brian you were blaming yourself, the samething Nick was doing when Erika died dude. You just kept saying what you could have done to change everything, that's the samething that Nick has been diong for the past six months and look at where that got him. I don't want anythin' happenin' to you alright? I just wanted to get you outta there before you started to feel too bad that I couldn't help you."

"What are you talking about?" Brian asked.

"I talking about how you would have been kicking yourself in the ass everything you thought about this because you thought you could do something. Hey guess what, you couldn't!" AJ shouted, "he was going to do this no matter what you did."

"AJ calm down," Brian interupted.

"I just don't want to see you go down like that," AJ said lowering his voice but the anger in his voice was still strong, "watching this happen to Nick is bad enough already."

"AJ I was never going to get that far..."

"Yeah thats what you think and I bet you that's what Nick thought, but here we are. Dealing with something we thought would never get as far as it did. Life holds no guarantees and you of all people should know that by now."

"Look I know that AJ," Brian responded with a little anger in his voice, "but don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid. I have my life under control."

"I don't know Bri, what you saw back at Nicks, it was a lot for anyone to handle. I just want to make sure that you're alright. 'Cause I sure as hell know that I would have been flippin' out if I was there when Nick did this. I wouldn't know how to take it either. So don't be afraid to say that you don't know what to do," AJ said, trying to lightin up the conversation.

"Do you honestly think that I've been walking around here thinking that I knew exactly what I was doing?" Brian yelled becoming completely overcome by rage, "please I wish I knew what the hell I was doing."

"Yo Rok calm down," AJ replied softly, "I didn't mean to piss you off. I just wanted you to know that we're as lost as you are." Brian closed his eyes before bringing his hands to his face for a moment before letting them drop again.

"I know I'm sorry," Brian apologised, "I'm just tired. I didn't mean to jump on you like that. I'm real sorry man."

"Hey it's okay," AJ responded, "lets go home and get some sleep. We know that Nick is going to be alright now so maybe you can get some sleep okay?"

"Yeah I guess that would be a good idea. Just let me go get Leighanne and I'm gonna go," Brian agreed. AJ nodded and Brian walked down towards the waiting room where everyone was waiting. AJ took one more quick glance at Nicks door before he too started down the hall.