[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter 1

Nick looked into the distance of the view outside of his beach front property. Something about the sight, the sound and the smell of the ocean was soothing for his soul. He just continued to stare into nothing for what seemed liked forever. He had finally found himself at peace. Relaxation for him was far from average. Lately, even with his time off, he couldn't find a way to let out his stress and make him happy. Too many things were going wrong in his life.

A tear rolled down his check, it wasn't the first but one in a series of many. He lifted his hand to brush it away. A breeze softly blew his hair. The breeze felt coll against his tear soaked skin. A small cough escaped his lips. He took a deep breath and the tears once again began to stream down his face.

"Nick what are you doing to yourself man?" Brian asked when he walked over to Nick who didn't see him coming.

"What are you talking about?" Nick replied, trying to pull himself together. He turned to Brian for the first time since he had arrived.

"I mean this. You're standing out here crying. At first it was good for you to do, but that was in the beginning. But it's been almost six months," Brian argued.

"Brian you don't know how I feel!" Nick yelled.

"Look, you just need to get over this," Brian said calmly, "you're still young."

"But I loved her."

"I understand that but she's gone. You have to get yourself together."

"But it was my fault."

"Nick, you couldn't have prevented what happened. There wasn't anything that could have been done or that you could have done."

"I should have died Brian, not her."

"You weren't in control of that, a higher force was."

"But I was driving. I lost control of the car, I should have been the one killed."

"Nick it wasn't your time."

"But why was it her time?"

"I don't know Nick, no one knows."

"Brian I should have died. She didn't desirve it."

"Neither did you."

"But I was driving," Nick protested.

"Nick is doesn't matter. It happened and there is nothing that you can do to change it."

"Get out Brian! I don't wanna hear that shit! If I had been paying attention to the road this all could have been avoided. I was the stupid jerk that made the mistake but she paid for it. So just get the fuck out of my house!" Nick yelled.

"I'm not leaving," he told Nick sternly.

"This is my house and I want you out now!"

"You can't keep pushing everyone away like this. We're trying to help you."

"None of you can help me. There's no way to bring her back."

"And that's why you have to move on," Brian yelled, "no matter what you say or what you do, it's not going to change that night. She's dead and doing this to yourself is only making it worse."

"Leave," Nick whispered through his tears.

"No," Brian answered softly, "I'm staying for a little while to make sure that you're going to be alright."

"I've been alright for the past six months. Besides I don't need a god damn babysitter! I just want to be left alone. Why can't you understand that?"

"Because we did leave you alone, for the past six months. We let you stay here and cry and blame yourself, but now it's time to get back to normal. Staying here like this isn't making you feel any better. We're all worried about you man. You're hurt, we know, but you can't begin to heal until you accept this loss and let you life go back to the way it was. That's the right thing to do and you know it."

"I can't do that," Nick answered as he sat on the ground, "something in my heart just won't let me. It doesn't feel right. If she's not around, dead because of me, then it would be wrong to be happy. I took that away from her, so I don't desirve to feel joy or happiness."

"Nick it was an accident. I'm sure that she's forgiven you. She's in heaven right now wanting you to stop feeling so guilty. I'm sure that she knows that you were willing to do anything to save her. You just have to forgive yourself now."

"Someone is dead because of me. If you were in my shoes, I know you would feel just as guilty. You were the one behind the wheel but you survived and your only passanger, the love of your life, was killed. You would be crushed because the person is never coming back, but then you realize, you killed them. It was all your fault."

"It's not your fault Nick. There was nothing that you could have done differently that could have saved her."

"I could have died. I should have died."

"Nick come on. Come with me to AJ's house. Just so you can get out of here for a little while. You don't have to stay long, just a few minutes. I think it will help you heal a little bit."

"Alright fine, but only for a few minutes," Nick answered Brian reluctantly.

"A few minutes," Brian repeated.