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“Long lost memories”

Tomorrow will a new chapter be written in the Backstreet history. Another member is tying the knot. Getting hooked or if you prefer getting caught in the snarl of marriage. Three will be down and only two more to go before we all become like responsible husbands living our all so ordinary family life. Gone are the days when I and AJ were dating around, chasing woman at clubs. Instead he will take the vows and will be faithful for ever. Duh it’s Bone that we’re talking about so honestly I doubt the last part even though it sounded kind of romantic in words

Yes you heard me; it’s AJ that will step up the aisle. You didn’t think it was me did you? No way! No fucking way. I’m only twenty five, living the prime of my manhood and there is not a chance that I will be the one walking up the alter. Not now and not for a long time to pass. Media always tries to pair me up with all sorts of girls and when they ask about marriage I know that I get something nervously in my eyes. Maybe it’s the thought of having to spend my whole life with someone else, share laughter and sorrow for better and worse and not being able to date around other woman in the process. I know that it sounds immature but commitment of all sorts scares me.

Another one that hasn’t walked over the threshold to marriage is Howie. To tell you the truth I have no idea when and if that will ever happened. I know that he dated Leigh on and off for the past five years but it always seems to be just that and never becoming more serious. There have been times when it crossed my mind if the reason for Howies private life and that he is rarely seen with female companionship is because he is attracted to the opposite sex, but then I always decide that it can’t be the case since I know what a player Sweet D can be at times. Also don’t you think that I would have noticed something since I’ve known these guys half my life and know them better than my own family?

The marriage is supposed to happen tomorrow. That is if AJ doesn’t get cold feet like last time when he was suppose to marry Sarah and call it all off. With Bone you never know what kind of card he has up his sleeve. He always seems to amaze me like last time when I really thought that Sarah would be the one to capture both his heart and money and when to my surprise there came a letter that told us that everything wad cancelled and that they wanted time to think it all over. What went on I have no freaking idea but my guess is that either he turned chicken or was caught in bed with some blonde bimbo. You take your pic on your options, I’ve already done mine!

In anyway this time AJ says that he is soooo serious with this love but Bah! I believe it when I see the ring on his finger. There have been far too many times when AJ had promised something and then ended up doing something totally different. Like all those times when he promised us to go and see a counsellor but then “accidentally forgot” it! That guy can sometimes be so full of shit that I really doubt if he has the skill to wipe his own ass.

I bet you’re wondering what kind of woman caught AJ this time and her name is Monique Cunningham. Half French, half American brunette that used to work as a model but is an actress now. She’s a real bombshell and you don’t have to be a professor to figure out what kinds of roles he played in or what kind of genre that is her greatest. AJ however gets really pissed when I mention something like that. But then who am I to talk when I have dated lots of girls that would fit in the stable of Playboy.

By the look of it she and Bone are really happy together and rumour has it that they are expecting a backstreet baby. At least that is what the gossip magazines says, I on the other hand have no confirmation about this all I know is that they married mighty fast. I think they have known each other for like eight months; they met when we first started touring with our latest album and from that time they became a couple. If it’s true however it would be the third backstreet baby in the nest. Yes I said third since Kristin gave birth to a small boy three months back and these days it’s like a day-care centre when we go on tour. . Brian’s Bailey is like three years old and he is really cute and I wouldn’t be surprised if Leigh-Ann would soon be knocked up again since I know how much Bri wants a large family. If that will happened you might at least think that he would name his kid to something else than a brand for a Liquor. Baileys you know. Especially when you don’t even like the taste of it. But then there are lots of things that I don’t understand about him! For his defence I most say that there are probably one or two things that he doesn’t understand about me either.

“Shit where is it?” I cuss out loud as I rummage through my closet in a desperate search for that black tuxedo I wore to Brian’s wedding. Ok I know it’s like a few years back as well as pounds but that doesn’t stop me for searching and right now I don’t have much other choice then to find it.

Shopping is defiantly out of the question.

You see with one of my old girlfriends; the oh so famous Paris Hilton, all we did was shop. Shop and make out. The last part wasn’t that bad but the shopping I could do without. If I have to look at another pair of Gucci handbags or another dress by Prada I think I might vomit! There was no limit to the stores that we could go through in a day and if I hadn’t had my cell phone there is no telling where this could have ended. Probably with me locked up in a mental institution rambling about handbags.

The girl in my life right now is a total different story. She is the normal and genuine kind and she is the one that can have a burp contest with my buddies and still be as sweet as a princess when we walk up for a photo shoot at some award show. She is also pretty hot and her name is Molly. Lucky for me she is in the industry too as a dancer so she knows what kind of hell I can go through as an artist. We haven’t moved our bags together but if there is one woman I can at least think of spending my time with it’s her! If things turns out great between us she might also be the one that I can imagine carrying my child, but that is something that would in that case happen further down the road and like I said before. No marriages though.

Man I am really making up for the nicknames Kaos and Messy Marvin I decide as I dig through what feels like tons of clothes. Right now, I decide, the outcome of finding my tux have pretty much gone down the drain and my only other solution is to grab my wallet and go shopping since I can’t come naked to the wedding, can I? Not that I think many would notice the difference. Ok maybe they would, anyways I don’t think that either Monique or Bone would appreciate it if I arrived in my birth suit. With a sigh I dig through my suits, mostly from Calvin Klein and some other expensive brands. Yes! I do own such stuff too, even if I rarely wear it. You see when it’s some award show or some other celebrity event all those designers send me clothes. Pretty wild huh? I have never been into that kind of stuff but both Howie and Kevin gets off of it. Don’t get me wrong, I like clothes..to certain amount at least, but it’s not something that I live for or even pay that much attention too.

When I have made sure off that there is no such clothing in my closet I feel my spirit go away. Shit what am I going to do now? Will there be a hasty ride into the city where some Paparazzi will follow me and then it will be all over the net that Nick bought his tuxedo to his best friends wedding only hours before it was suppose to happen? Will I once again be pointed out as the self-centred corny bastard that so many think that I am when I walk into the ceremony with my beloved khaki pants and a tee? Sneakers too I might add. Or will I be able to come to the ceremony dressed like anyone else and then act like the mature man I’m supposed to be?

Right now the outcome looked like option number one would be the winner. Not good for all the fashion gurus that would be at the wedding. But heck a guy gotta do what a guy gotta do and at least I wouldn’t come naked to the church, which is always a comfort!

Just then something crossed my mind. What if I, or more likely mom, had stored the wanting object up in the attic? With that in mind I climbed up the ladder that lead to the attic and once I had reached my destination all I noticed was that it was dark and full off stuff.

Phew! It smelled like rat too, not that I know how it smells but in anyway it smelled stale. Creeping on the floor since it was too dark to stand up and walk and too much stuff too I might add, I turned on the light. Shuddering I noticed that it was full off spider webs in the corners and by the look it had been a while since someone was up on the attic. Carefully I made my moves to a pile of boxes standing in a corner; all the while I was scanning the room for creepy bugs to appear.

I hate bugs and spiders and such stuff!

The creepy part with those monsters is that you never know what can be luring in the corners and when I was little and played at grandmas house, out in the country, me and my cousins always imagined what kind of spiders would attacking us. The black widow and so on. Shaking those disturbing thoughts away I bent down over one of the boxes and opened it up. It turned out to be filled with my old toys and even though I would have loved picking up a boat or a car to play with continued with my search instead.

After scanning through several boxes I found my hope demised and if it wasn’t for the fact that shopping didn’t sound too tempting I would have stopped a long time ago. With a deep sigh I opened another box and when I stuck down my hand it connected with something hard. Curious I opened the box a bit further only to pull out a black book covered with dust. The item hadn’t been touched for a long time and as I blew the dust off its cover I noticed the letters hand printed in gold “Nick’s scrap book to success, part 1”

What I held in my hand was a piece of my life.

Quickly I opened it up only to be met with pictures and text about me. Mom had saved every article there was, at least when I was younger, and there were pictures from all kinds of ages. Looking down the box I found that there were five more scrap books and just when I thought it was no more I found another box. A never one and looking in that one I found five more books.. Shit I never knew that I had done so much! Or that she had saved it all.

Mom can be very secretive sometimes and as far as I remember she never told me that she had saved everything in these books. Checking out the last one I found that it was from the latest tour so that meant that she had been up here not long ago. At once I felt such an urge to check them out since I didn’t have much more to do that day. Molly was out of town working so I have all the time to myself. With that I gathered a pile of books and made my way down the ladder. There was not a chance that I would stay up in the attic together with all the spiders or possible ghosts. As soon as I had taken all eleven books down I placed my butt in the living room sofa, turned on some music and started my trip down memory lane….