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Chapter 16 ~ Mistaken Fury

Howie watched from his bed as Darcy hurriedly gathered her things from one of his larger closets. Today was another dreaded therapy session and Darcy finally wanted nothing to do with the ordeal. It was obvious that Nicola’s sharp revulsions had shaken Darcy’s attitude. Darcy said nothing to Howie as she quickly hurried out of the home before Nicola arrived. Something about Darcy began to rub Howie raw. He was slowly starting to comprehend Darcy’s flaws, but still his heart still masked the deepest threats. Now, Darcy had been spending less and less time with Howie, but now he didn’t seem to care. The only woman on his mind was Nicola.

Nicola’s bitter words still gnawed at the fleshy pulp of his heart. He couldn’t believe that he revolted Nicola so much. Her hate for him made Howie sick to his stomach. He was beginning to see Nicola as more of a woman than a therapist. Her subtle moves made his heart pound with anticipation. Her simple touch of care caused a set of prickles to break out on his skin. Howie sighed hatefully, though, because whatever he had hoped to achieve with her had been shattered with his sour disposition.

“Howie! Nicola’s waiting!” Pollyanna called loudly, breaking into his poignant thoughts. Howie pulled a tank top onto his naked torso and ran his fingers through his short curls. Without any hesitation, Howie pulled himself into his wheelchair and raced out of his bedroom. With quick strokes of the wheels, Howie rushed toward the weight room. He gently pushed the door open with the front of his wheelchair to reveal Nicola in all her glory.

She sat in the middle of the room with her legs stretched out wide. Without any grief, she leaned over her right leg and allowed her arms to stretch far beyond her foot. Her thick curls fell into her emerald eyes as she pressed her body toward the floor. Hues of honey and red flickered throughout her curls as the sun beamed down upon her magnificent figure. She wore a simple lavender tank top with a pair of gray shorts, but she made the outfit look like a million dollars. Howie’s mouth grew parched with wanting. She was absolutely gorgeous.

“Nicola?” Howie finally strained, startling the woman. She quickly jumped up from the floor and smoothed her shorts over her lean thighs. Her cheeks flushed dark red with embarrassment, but her facial features still remained tight. It was obvious she still took Howie’s attitude personally. “Look, Nicola, I wanted to—”

“Don’t worry about it, Mr. Dorough. To tell you the honest truth, you’re right; I’m not your psychiatrist. I had no right to overstep my boundaries and you certainly set me back in my place. Thank you. Now, let’s just do what I’m paid to do and be done with it,” she answered stiffly, directing him to the weight bench.

*~*~*

After two hours of grueling labor with Howie’s activities, Nicola was completely exhausted. She sat down by Howie’s wheelchair, wiping the beads of sweat away from her face with a nearby towel. She had hardly spoken a word of conversation to Howie. She only gave him directions with his therapy. Her pride was still wounded by Howie’s bitter words. He had stepped too far into her emotions to turn around. Nicola glanced up to see him studying her with intensity. A look of wanting in his eyes caused Nicola to flinch and pull herself up.

“You thirsty?” she asked laboriously.

“Yes,” Howie answered carefully.

“I’ll go get some water, then. Take a break,” Nicola decided, stepping out of the room before Howie could disagree.

Howie groaned with defeat, slouching in his wheelchair. There was still heavy tension between the two, even after hours of physical therapy. It seemed hopeless. There was no way to repair the rubble around Nicola’s castled heart. She refused to allow herself to be hurt again by him. Howie understood, but still felt the raw emptiness in his heart. He was loosing another potential friend because of his disability.

He began to curse his luck, knowing he had been beaten by his foul behavior. Howie wheeled himself to the small portable TV in the corner of the room. He pushed heavily on the buttons in search of something entertaining until Nicola returned. He had thought about making a scene of forgiveness, but feared that Nicola would find him petty. Finally, he allowed his mind to forget conjuring up a lavish plan and focus upon the TV.

The flickering images flashed against his dark irises as he turned to the familiar MTV Station. As if fate decided against him, the channel immediately locked on the station. Howie paused as Nick’s coy smile focused instantly upon the screen. The girls in the audience immediately screamed in rapture, causing Howie to feel numb.

“How is Howie?!” one girl screamed from the audience.

The camera focused on Kevin, the leader of the group. He looked as if to be in deep contemplation. He then offered a smile of reassurance that sent the girls into squeals. “Howie has his good days and his bad days. We just know that God is always helping him, no matter what the issue of the day. We comfort him and help him through the turmoil every day. We also take turns spending weeks with him when we’re not working on our new album. That’s why AJ couldn’t join us today, because he’s with Howie, probably watching the show!”

A chorus of shrieks and coos erupted from the pack of women, snapping Howie’s fragile nerves. It was the final attack against his heart and he could stand for now more. Those men had only saw him once before deciding to abandon him. Not one phone call. Not one card. His eyes turned dark with annoyance and betrayal. He couldn’t believe he had once called those men his brothers. He curls his aching hands into tight fists, beginning to curse the images of his “brothers.”

“AJ with me? What the Hell do you all think you’re doing?! You haven’t visited me since the day I nearly drowned at the bottom of the ocean! Using me as your publicity tool for the album that I’ll never be a part of… You rotten BASTARDS! How can you dare call me your brother to those innocent fans? Damn you all! I know you all blame me for the falling out of the group, but… GOD! WHY AREN’T YOU PUNISHING THEM? I HATE THEM!”

Howie’s words could not alleviate the pain inside his shattered heart. He was unable to control the rage building inside his tender heart. His eyes flashed with searing hot flames. He wanted to lash out and hurt something like he was hurting. Without thinking, Howie reached out and yanked the TV away from the wall. Sparks leapt into the air with volts of electricity as hot tears ran down Howie’s burning cheeks.

“DAMN YOU! I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL! YOUR NOT MY BROTHERS! YOU WILL NEVER BE MY BROTHERS! DAMN YOU ALL!” Howie screamed, unable to keep his vision from blurring beneath the tears.

He never noticed Nicola entering the room. He hadn’t even heard her call his name above his shouts of fiery obscenities. He screamed out in rage, allowing himself to pitch the TV in Nicola’s direction. The TV immediately crushed against Nicola’s right arm, shattering the glass of water and the bones inside her arm. She slumped down to the ground, screaming in pain. Blood began to run down her right arm from the glass of water and TV shards. Howie whipped around to see Nicola lying amongst the shards of glass, guarding her right arm protectively. Painful tears slid down her cheeks as Howie rushed toward her. She screamed out, holding her left hand upward.

“GET AWAY FROM ME!” Nicola hollered. She rocked herself back and forth as more tears began to trace down her cheeks. The pain was almost intolerable. She could see black dots invading her vision, threatening unconsciousness from the pain.

Her scream had halted Howie’s chair. His eyes were watery from harming Nicola. He couldn’t believe how fate had decided against him. His throat tightened as he reached out to touch Nicola, but she smacked his hand away. She screamed again in agony, causing Howie to wince. Howie began to stutter, “Oh, Nic, God, I am so sorry—”

“Don’t,” Nicola snapped, carefully pulling herself away from the shards of glass. The tears continued to rain down her cheeks blood trickled down her cheek. Her eyes were clouded with physical pain, but Howie knew that he had also caused the emotional pain lurking deep in her heart. She stared at him with betrayal. Her words were soft as she walked away, deadpanning Howie.

“To think I wanted you to love me.”