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Chapter 20 – Guilty as Charged

AJ and Brian sat on the couch as Jamila and Raegan hovered over them. After the ugly incident at the mall, the girls had forced the boys into Raegan’s home for a stern lecture. Luckily, Kevin and Nick had managed to skip out unscathed, promising to visit Howie the next day. Jamila glanced at AJ, huffing loudly, and placing her hands upon her hips. Raegan just mumbled incoherently as she crossed her arms over her chest. Both girls looked displeased with their boyfriends’ actions. Brian and AJ knew they were in trouble.

“How could you be so stupid?” Raegan finally burst, unable to hold her tongue.

“Sweetheart—”

“Don’t even try to sweetheart me!” Raegan interrupted with a growl. Brian slumped back into the couch, covering his eyes with his hands. He took a deep breath, almost afraid to gaze into Raegan’s darkening eyes. Though, she didn’t care if he was looking upon her. Raegan spoke quite freely, “You tell me all the time how wonderful Howie has been to you! How he was the one to stay the entire night at the hospital while you underwent your heart surgery. You tell me that he has a heart of gold and you could never betray him. Yet, you did anyway! That man has done nothing but wonderful things for you and when he needs you most, what do you do? Run! What kind of man are you? What kind of brother are you?”

Brian looked down in shame. Nicola’s words had been bitter enough, but to receive the same anger from his girlfriend was twofold. He grimaced, tugging on his sandy curls. He finally glanced upward at Raegan. “Sweetie, I feel awful, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay! You should feel worse than just awful! That poor man has suffered because of you! Luckily Jamila bumped into that woman, because you deserved every word! To think you were using the fans to sway your own profits. It’s disgusting, Brian! Simply disgusting! You’re no better than half the artists out there milking everything they can. Here you have a ‘brother’ that’s in tremendous amounts of pain and all you can think about is your next appearance and next check!” Raegan scolded.

“Not to mention you both lied to us!” Jamila interjected with an unmistakable Puerto Rican accent, unable to keep silent any longer. AJ and Brian winced again – their list of wrongs continued to accumulate with every word. Jamila clicked her tongue, speaking faster than before, “You know, I really thought we were connecting Alex. You know I love you a lot. And, even though we’ve only been going out a few months, I wanted to think that this was indeed a serious relationship. Yet, you lied to me. How can I possibly believe that you’re taking our relationship seriously if you can’t even confide in me? And, no doubt that Raegan feels the same toward you, Brian!”

“We were wrong,” AJ admitted softly.

“Yes, you were,” Jamila retorted tartly.

“Can you forgive us?” Brian asked softly. He stared at Raegan pleadingly. He had never found a girl quite as exotic as Raegan. Her energy and exuberance matched his quirky nature in every way. It was foolish of him to think he could fool Raegan. It was also foolish to turn his back upon Howie. Brian clasped his hands in front of him like a scolded schoolboy.

“In all honesty, Bri-Bear, I will always love you, but you shouldn’t be asking for my forgiveness,” Raegan answered, sitting down on the couch beside him. She wrapped her arms around his neck. She knew that he had been scared to visit Howie, but that didn’t excuse his behavior. She could have turned her back on him, but she loved him too much to dwell on his idiocy.

“I know, I think we’re all going to visit Howie tomorrow with Kevin and Nick,” Brian finally confirmed, glancing toward AJ. However, Brian received no confirmation from AJ. Jamila seemed to be preoccupying most of AJ’s energy. They were embraced on the couch, sharing affectionate kisses. Raegan smirked at the scene, because Brian blushed furiously. “AJ!”

AJ finally pulled himself away from Jamila, although he still held her tightly in his arms. He studied Brian for a moment, giving a small smile. He looked overly relieved that Jamila wasn’t upset with him. He knew he had much to make up for, but he hoped that Howie would be willing to accept his faults “Yes, we’ll visit Howie tomorrow.”

“Can we visit with you?” Jamila inquired.

“Visit with us?” AJ repeated slowly.

“Yes, we’ve been going out for months and I haven’t even met your best friend!”

“I know, Babe.”

“Can we?” Raegan asked.

“We don’t even know if Howie is going to want to see us,” Brian frowned, now realizing how much he had hurt his friend.

“You’re just going to have to try,” Raegan urged.

*~*~*

Howie’s stomach churned violently as he placed his cordless phone down for the final time. It was useless; Nicola would not answer his calls. Various people had picked up the last several calls. Three women had picked up, promising to deliver his messages. Yet, the boy who picked up the phone cursed him for even attempting to call. Howie knew that he had finally burned the last of his bridges to Nicola’s heart. He had no doubt that he had severely injured Nicola’s arm from the TV. His eyes blurred with salty tears at the mere thought of harming such a rare flower.

“I’m sorry,” Howie choked to himself, covering his face in shame. How could he have dared to hurt such a beautiful woman? Where was his humility? She only tried to make the best of his situation. She truly did care for his well-being, no matter what nasty comments he released. He acted like a venomous viper. He had stricken at her with an intense vengeance. His poison had finally deteriorated her extraordinary essence.

Before Howie could create a plan to retrieve what was left of his dignity, the doorbell chimed. Howie jerked in his chair with surprise. His heart pounded with delight at the unexpected visitor. He prayed it was Nicola, because then he could right all his wrongs. Hurriedly, Howie wheeled himself quickly toward the front door. He pressed on the button that had been installed to open his front door without hassles on his part.

“Nicola—” Howie’s voice dropped suddenly. His face contorted to a look of pure disgust at the four familiar faces. Nick, Brian, Kevin, and AJ stood before him with two unfamiliar women behind them. They each held a different look of sadness and guilt, but Howie wouldn’t let them off so easily. The pain inside his heart seemed to throb without dignity. Howie couldn’t control the icy smirk that formed on his face. “To what do I owe this GRACIOUS meeting?”

“Hey, D,” AJ answered hesitantly.

“Damn, you would think that I’m tired of seeing you all here! The TV says that you all are here every single day. Such great brothers I have, don’t you think?” Howie hissed, unable to bury his anger. He noticed that the two women were glaring at Brian and AJ, but said nothing to them. He finally had a chance to confront those who caused him the deepest pains in his heart. He would not ruin his moment of glory for formalities. He returned his steely glare to the boys. “Riveting show yesterday, I must tell you—”

“Howie, we came to say we’re sorry. Can we please come in and talk?” Brian interrupted.

Howie hesitated now. He would have been justified in slamming the door on them, but Nicola’s suggestion invaded his thoughts. She had suggested Howie make an effort to forgive his friends and family no matter what the circumstances. She had tried to explain that everyone had a different reaction to tragedy and grief. And, yes, their actions were misguided and hurtful to Howie, but they still loved him regardless. Forgiveness was the hard, but it would help him heal. Somehow, Nicola’s plea along with the boys’ pitiful eyes caused him to cave.

“Come in,” Howie finally consented. He guided them to the living room without much conversation. Each one seated themselves down on the various couches. Howie noticed that the dark-haired woman stayed next to AJ, while the blonde sat near Brian. Howie sighed, parking his wheelchair in front of them. He tried not to be upset that everyone made a point not to gaze upon the metal cage that held Howie. “What do you need?”

“We each want to say something to you,” AJ announced, waiting for Howie to agree. AJ swallowed hard once he received a tight nod. He scooted to the edge of the couch to be closer to Howie. His eyes were murky with apprehension. “D, basically, we’re assholes. And, we can never apologize enough for dissing you after your accident. I also want to tell you that… the biggest reason I was afraid to see you was because I felt so guilty. I was the one driving the damn boat when the rope broke. It was all my fault that you ended up like that… I mean, if I hadn’t been trying to throw you off… I am so sorry, D. I toss and turn at night having Hellish nightmares about it. I am so sorry, D—”

“It’s not your fault,” Howie choked. It looked as if AJ’s entire body relaxed with some sort of relief. AJ’s eyes brimmed with unshed tears of pain. Howie could see the guilt plaguing AJ since the accident. Howie didn’t blame AJ for what happened. The rope had been faulty. Howie motioned for AJ to come to him. Carefully, AJ embraced the injured man tightly. Howie sniffled with his own tears, unable to control his emotions. “The line was faulty. It wasn’t anybody’s fault, Aje. Okay? Don’t blame yourself.”

“D, we are really big…jerks,” Nick explained as AJ slowly released Howie. AJ ran his hands against his wet cheeks as he fell back onto the couch. Immediately, the dark-haired woman wrapped her arms around him. Howie focused on Nick, who was glancing at his hands. “You were always there for us when we needed you. We shouldn’t have let you down.”

“No, we shouldn’t have,” Brian continued. He offered a shy smile of guilt. “You were there every second after my heart surgery. I should have returned the favor, but the idea of you being hurt was too much. Can you forgive us?”

“We understand if you don’t want to, though,” Kevin interjected. “We were in the wrong. As the older brother, I should have done the right thing, but I didn’t. Instead, I wanted to use your accident for our benefits. It was wrong. It was utterly wrong. But we really hope that you’ll forgive us and let us try again.”

Howie glanced at the boys. Each face held a different pained expression. Howie now understood what Nicola meant. The boys were truly sorry for their mistakes. It had taken time for them to accept that the accident was real and there was no changing his destiny. They wanted to become a part of his life again, no matter what happened. Howie offered a shaky smile, not able to believe the good fortune that smiled upon him. He felt relieved that the boys were back. It had felt as if a piece of himself were missing without the boys. “I can forgive all of you on one condition.”

“What?” AJ blurted with relief. He was willing to do anything at that moment.

“Introduce me to these two women,” Howie answered with a sly smile.

Brian and AJ both broke out into earnest smiles. Brian quickly motioned to the blonde woman to join him. He kissed her hand and then quickly threaded his fingers with hers. Howie admitted that she was quite striking. Howie smiled when he noticed that she fit perfectly in the crook of Brian’s arm. “Howie, this is Raegan. She’s my girlfriend and I love her to death. Raegan, this is Howie. He’s brilliant with writing songs, too. Maybe he’ll help write one for you. D, Raegan is starting to prepare for a singing career.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Raegan. I’m sure you have the voice of an angel,” Howie retorted, holding his hand toward her.

Instead, Raegan bent down and wrapped her arms around Howie’s neck. She gave him an affectionate kiss on the cheek. Her face warmed with a gentle smile. “I’m so glad to finally meet you. Bri-Bear only has great things to say about you. And, you seem to be everything he says, not any less!”

“I’m sure it’ll be the same with you,” Howie retorted with a blushing smile.

AJ and the other woman quickly presented themselves as Raegan kissed Howie’s cheek once more. AJ beamed with excitement as Howie glanced over the woman. She barely reached AJ’s shoulder, but her dark eyes bubbled with intense enthusiasm. AJ leaned down to kiss her neck before speaking. “D, this is Jamila. This is my girlfriend. She’s a photographer and she’ll be doing a lot of our shoots from now on. Jamila, this is my best friend, Howie.”

“Hi, Jamila,” Howie replied.

“Finally! I’m so happy to meet Alex’s best friend. He’s always talking about you. He was so devastated after the accident. Thank you so much for forgiving him. Maybe he’ll sleep easier at night. You are such a tender-heart,” Jamila giggled, kissing Howie’s cheek.

“I can tell already you’re going to be a Godsend for Aje,” Howie retorted, kissing Jamila’s cheek. Within seconds, the four boys jumped into an embrace with Howie, almost knocking him over in the wheelchair. Each gave their own personal apology along with another hug. Howie felt as if he finally had his family back. Pollyanna would be absolutely amazed. “You guys want to have dinner over here?”

“Yes, we have a lot to catch up on!” Raegan answered for the others, causing Howie to laugh. The others chuckled, rolling their eyes. Howie was amazed at her level of energy. She was chipper and bubbly – just like Brian.

“We’ll go order the pizza, c’mon, Rae!” Brian concluded, tugging on his girlfriend.

“We’ll get drinks,” Kevin, Nick, and Jamila volunteered.

“Aje?” Howie questioned once the two were alone. Howie couldn’t understand why the boys felt so pushed to show up today of all days. Why this day? Howie chewed on his tongue for a moment when AJ glanced at him with question. “What made you decide to come back?”

“Honesty?” AJ hesitated.

“Of course.”

“Jamila accidently ran into your physical therapist. Of course, Nicola, yeah, that’s her name. She recognized who we were… Damn, she reamed our asses out for not visiting you. Kevin even got quiet! I mean, she just kept swearing at us, telling us we were awful! She tore at us like there was no tomorrow, saying we were letting you down. She made us realize we were complete assholes. I’m surprised that she didn’t slam us all to the ground and beat the Hell out of us. She was so pissed that we hurt you.”

“Nicola did all of that?” Howie awed.

“Yeah! Jezz, D, she’s one tough chick. Never backed down from us once. She didn’t care who the Hell we were. She just cared about you and what was happening with your life. She takes care of you better than Darcy ever will,” AJ confided candidly.

“Ain’t that the truth,” Howie answered with a knowing smile. Maybe she still did care for him like he hoped.