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Chapter 41 ~ A Harsh Reality

Howie felt so proud of his gift until Nicola freed the painful sobs from her throat. Her trembling hands flew to conceal her misty face of tears. His heart shattered instantly, fearing he had gone too far within the relationship. Her unusually fragile state was frightening. He had never seen her fall apart so abruptly. He didn’t want to be the cause of such suffering in her life. He bit down on his tongue as Nicola braced her upper body against the raw howls deep within her chest. Howie attentively reached out to touch her trembling shoulder. “What’d I do, Nic?”

“Nothing! I just…it’s beautiful,” she croaked, trying to control her emotions as placed the box on the coffee table. It didn’t seem appropriate to receive such a rare token of affection when she felt so undeserving.

“Then what was the sob—”

“Nothin—”

“Are you sure—”

“I was fired today,” Nicola blurted without any rationale.

“You…huh…why?” Howie burst without thought. He felt as if he had fallen from a large building to be crushed several feet below the pavement. Nicola was one of the best therapists in the state. She had won recognition all over the United States. Howie had seen the plaques, certificates, and the awards in her study. To be fired so suddenly with her background made no sense to him.

“I just…” Nicola suppressed a sniffle.

“Why’d he fire you?”

“For being me,” she incoherently decided.

“What?”

“It doesn’t matter why he fired me. The point is that I’m fired,” she corrected

“It’s going to be okay,” Howie tried to pledge.

“Are you serious?” Nicola exploded, unable to control her untamed emotions. Usually she could cap them quickly, but it was like a wild ocean storm flowing against her soul. The implications following her dismissal were devastating to not only her career but her life as well. Howie couldn’t possibly understand the circumstances surrounding the disaster.

“Baby, please calm—”

“No! You don’t understand! That job was the only damn thing I had! That kept and provided for my daughter! I could give her so much with that job! Stuff she needed! You have no idea what it’s like raising a kindergarten girl! She wants pretty dresses, dolls, just everything! Without this job, we have nothing. Absolutely nothing!”

“You have me.”

“You can’t provide for us!”

“Yes, I can.”

“No, you can’t!”

“Why?!” Howie cried with frustration.

“Because I don’t want to feel guilty about leaning on you!” she exploded.

“But that’s what I’ve done with you!”

“Not financially!”

“Nicola, please, just sit down!” Howie pleaded, unable to handle her irrational state. He feared she might harm herself physically without reasoning. He held out his hands to her, offering her his heart in the same neat package. After a few moments, she obliged to sitting next to him. Howie brought her trembling hands to his lips while he spoke, “You don’t have to feel guilty, Nic. I can lend you some money. If you feel the need to pay it back, fine. But I just don’t want you or Lucy suffering because of your dick-headed boss. I love both of you. I just want you to be happy.”

“Howie—”

“I don’t want to fight, Baby. I just want to help in any way that I can.”

“Then hold me for now,” she pleaded quietly after several moments of silence, snuggling against her lover’s side. She wiped away the remaining tears as Howie pulled her close. She was utterly distraught with the entire situation. For the first time in her life, she was bewildered as to what she should do. It would be so hard to locate another physical therapy position with Dr. Jacobs breathing down her neck. She sighed, knowing Howie’s offer might be the best solution for the time being. “I’ll think about your offer.”

“Better,” Howie approved, kissing the top of her head. Her considering anything was better than her storming out of the house never to return. He carefully trailed his fingers against her bare shoulders. “So, he didn’t say why he fired you?”

“No,” Nicola lied.

“Well, it’s for the best.”

“Excuse me?” Nicola choked.

“Now you can move toward your dream of owning your own clinic. Remember what you told the girls? Your own place with your name etched on the front door. You’d be so wonderful on your own. Jacobs can’t hold you back anymore. You can concentrate on making your dream a reality,” Howie encouraged with a stroke of genius.

“I already told you that I didn’t have—”

“The money, yes, I know, but you can’t close the door to a dream without chasing all the options.”

“When did you become so optimistic?” Nicola sniffled with surprise.

“Since I started dating a beautiful woman who gives me strength,” Howie answered, pressing a kiss to her warm forehead. He loved the way her emerald eyes twinkled in the dimming room as the sun slowly started to sink. He would do anything to make her smile again.

“I love you, too.”

“Spend the night, then.”

“But—”

“Lucy is already in her bed. She’s not planning on getting up any time soon and you deserve a night’s rest with a man who would sacrifice the world for you.”

“Where can I find one of those?” she teased, feeling more secure with Howie’s protection.

“Behave,” Howie warned.

“That’s a hard concept…”

“Will you stay so I can make you feel better?”

“Yes, I love sleeping next to you.”

“Well, I love you,” he chuckled, intertwining their hands.

“Howie?”

“Yes, Darling?”

“Thank you.”