“You’re telling me that she turned him down? That she said no?”
“Yes, before he could even get back into a standing position.”
“Why?”
“We don’t know…”
“Well, how is he?”
“We had to take him to the hospital after she crushed his heart… Honestly! How do you think he is, Nick?”
“Kev means that he’s really shitty at the moment.”
“Yeah, but the worst part is that he’s given up everything he accomplished since her.”
“What do you mean?”
“He won’t walk—”
“Stop talking about me,” Howie mumbled pathetically, finally wheeling himself into the living room to find the somber faces of his closest friends after listening to the hushed whispers bouncing off the walls of his lonely home. He had been in bed for an entire day after passing out at the airport, but would have stayed longer if it wasn’t for his unwelcomed guests. But, the news had spread quickly that Kevin and Hollie had rushed him to the hospital only to find that he suffered from a severe drop in blood pressure. After a few hours of observation, Howie was sent home, because there just wasn’t any cure for a broken heart.
“We didn’t know you were up…” AJ trailed, immediately glancing down to his hands. He felt so horrible for his best friend, especially when the others were so much in love. To see them exuberant and filled with such bursts of life had to be hard and for once, AJ was at a loss of words. He wasn’t good at these types of uncomfortable situations – that was usually Howie’s area of expertise.
“Well, I’m up,” Howie growled, stopping his wheelchair at the threshold of his living room. He looked far worse than any of the boys had expected. His usually styled mess of curls was wild and frantic as he tossed and turned through terrible nightmares of Nicola. His dark eyes were murky as a stagnant mud puddle as heavy black bags settled beneath them like a foul bank of land, any spark having disappeared long ago. His postured slumped over the old wheelchair, barely able to maintain an upright position as he stared glumly toward those who considered being his close friends. He was so distraught over Nicola’s decline of his proposal that he really didn’t consider their feelings with much regard. He wanted to be left alone in his misery. “And I want to be alone.”
Kevin’s emerald eyes grew surprisingly large at the request, “D—”
“I want to be left alone,” Howie repeated, his voice curter. He had no patience to play games.
Brian quickly stepped in to attempt some kind of peace. “Howie, we’d like to stay—”
“Are you deaf or dumb?” Howie growled with disgust, seeming to fit back into his old shell of anger and malcontent that occurred during the beginning of his rehabilitation with Nicola. “I said I want to be alone.”
“Are you sure that’s smart?” Nick questioned as the others started to stand with discomfort over the situation. He knew that he had tendencies to act foolishly when it came to serious situations. That’s why he attempted to stay silent as Brian, Kevin, and AJ tried to mend Howie’s broken heart. But, the others were giving up so easily that it actually made his heart crack. He couldn’t stand to see Howie in so much pain again. Not after what happened before; especially when Nicola was so special for Howie.
Kevin attempted to swallow a groan of frustration, knowing that Nick could possibly only escalate the situation to dangerous proportions. “Nick—”
“No, I think I need to say this,” Nick disagreed quickly, pulling away from Kevin’s grasp like a belligerent child. He immediately glanced to the second oldest of the melded family, biting down hard on his inner cheek as the words gathered into a mess in his brain. “Howie, I’m worried about you. You’re my second biggest brother and I love you. So, I don’t want to leave because I think you’re going to do something stupid.”
Everyone instantly knew what Nick was referring to, but no one had the heart or the courage to respond. An uncomfortable silence permeated through the already thickened air, causing everyone’s posture to straighten with flinches. Their gazes just instantly flicked toward Howie, praying he wouldn’t erupt into hysterics. But, that was far too hopeful for this murky situation. Howie’s brown eyes instantly darkened dramatically at the suggested as he clenched his hands tightly on the arms of his wheelchair. His voice was soft and taunting, causing chills to race down the other men’s spines. “It wouldn’t be a stupid decision, Nick. And it’s not your choice to make anyhow. It’s my miserable existence and my miserable choice, okay?”
“Howie—”
“Get out,” Howie finally hissed, pointing straight toward his front door. He was aggravated, annoyed, and tired. He absolutely refused to play these silly games when his heart was aching. “Now! Right fucking now!”
“Damnit—”
Brian quickly reached to place a hand against AJ’s shoulder, stopping his sentence from progressing any further. Instead, he tilted his neck to motion toward the front door. It was impossible to argue with Howie at this point, especially when he was grieving so terribly. They could only exit as Howie had requested, then call his family to ask to check back on him somewhat frequently through the night. The men seemed to understand Brian’s wise decision, shuffling toward the door without explanation.
“We’re only a call away, D,” AJ whispered.
But he never responded as they left.
Instead, Howie glanced around his living room, feeling tears of aggravation starting to gather behind his dark brown eyes. Lucy’s toys were still scattered about his living room as a sign of his previously perfect life. The Disney movie, The Little Mermaid, was still in his DVD player, paused at Lucy’s favorite part where Ariel and Eric entered the hidden lagoon for a foiled kiss. They had both assumed they could clean it later after Howie took Nicola out for a romantic dinner to celebrate the engagement. But, cruelly, life never seemed to work according to plans. Especially his plans.
Remembering AJ’s final words, Howie wheeled himself over to the phone and answering machine. He noticed that the answering machine was blinking with one message and his heart skipped several beats. He could only hope that it was Nicola’s voice, pleading for him to give her a second chance, but that thought didn’t comply with his pessimistic thinking. He didn’t believe he was that fortunate. Nicola was so adamant in her refusal of his proposal and never looked back when she scooped up Lucy. She wasn’t coming back - ever. So, with his original hope deflated, he clicked the machine to replay the message:
Howie, Sweetheart, it’s Darcy… The boys told me about Nicola. I can’t believe she would deliberately break your heart like that. I told you she was no good and I’m sorry you got hurt. She’s nothing but a cheap trick looking for her next big break. She just used you and I hate her for that… And…I know that we ended on bad terms, but it doesn’t change how I feel for you. If you ever need to talk, or a shoulder to cry on, you know my number—
“Bitch!” Howie immediately cursed, reaching to yank the machine sharply away from the wall. He heard plaster crack from the energy behind his disgust, but he didn’t care. Instead, he started to slam the somewhat smaller machine repeatedly against the side of his desk. Small chunks started to fly as he continued to curse Darcy and her manipulative behavior. He should had known from the beginning that she was no good. Yet, he refused to believe it until Nicola showed him the truth.
Until Nicola showed him real love…
God, how he truly missed her…
“I WANT DADDY! NOW! NOW! NOW! MOMMY, I WANT DADDY RIGHT NOW!”
Nicola immediately began to rub her throbbing temples, actually starting to pray to God that Lucy lost her shrill, little voice that was becoming sharper by the moment. It would have been a miracle, but Nicola truly believed she was in Hell. So miracles weren’t exactly an option. Even as she stared at the ceiling, waiting for God to strike her dead, Lucy continued to perch at the end of Nicola’s cold and lonely bed, screaming for Howie. The little girl had been devastated when Nicola ripped her away from the airport terminal without so much as a goodbye to her father. As hard as it has been for Nicola to say goodbye, she believed it might have been far more devastating for her child who had never had a father figure. Lucy had come to idolize Howie and trust him as her father. It had been cruel for Nicola to rip him away so quickly, but Lucy would have been the same nonetheless. She was too young to understand the finer points, but some things remained quite clear. Her mother had taken away her father.
“Lucy, please—”
“NO!” she screamed.
“Lucy-Lu—”
“NO!” she screamed louder.
“Lucille!”
“I HATE YOU!”
“Lucy—”
“I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!”
“Regressing back to the truly terrible two’s that Lucy never had?” Hollie’s voice floated toward Nicola as Lucy ripped out of the room to only slam her bedroom door. She had heard the screaming from downstairs and decided just to enter the house. Nicola had been unreachable for several days after her breakup with Howie, which caused Hollie to worry. She didn’t understand why the breakup had occurred at all. She could only hope that Nicola would give her some kind of explanation as to the misunderstandings and hopefully she could fix things before any more drama occurred.
“Not funny,” Nicola groaned pitifully, attempting to sit up as a sharp wave of nausea overcame her weakening body. She instantly brought both hands to her stomach as if to steady its churning, but she deserved the pain. Uneasily, she brought a shaky hand back to run it through her strawberry blonde curls. Nothing felt right since she said goodbye. Her stomach ached as a throbbing headache developed. Her temples pounded with the rush of blood as her entire body started to ache sharply. Her heart was breaking into pieces and she was absolutely miserable without her love.
“Well, she doesn’t hate you, Sweetheart.”
“Oh, trust me, she does.”
“But—”
“It’s like I killed her Daddy all over again.”
“…She’ll get over it,” Hollie attempted, not knowing how to comment on Nicola’s previous statement. She swallowed a heavy lump forming in the middle of her throat, never expecting that this would be so difficult. Slowly, she seated herself of the edge of the large bed, just watching Nicola carefully. The woman was completely wrecked from the disaster at the airport. It looked as if she hadn’t had the strength to shower, her strawberry blonde curls wildly askew against her forehead and tumbling to her shoulders. Her skin was dusky with a heavy paleness that made her look sickly. Dark, heavy bags settled beneath her usually beautiful emerald eyes, creating a haunting look that caused Hollie to frown deeply. Hating that Nicola was in such pain, she attempted to sit on the side of the large bed, reaching to place a hand on Nicola’s shoulder.
“No, she won’t,” Nicola sniffled, rolling onto her side to stare at her wall instead of her best friend. “Because I’ll never get over it.”
“Oh, Nicola—”
But her words were lost as Nicola tumbled out of bed, rushing toward the bathroom to relieve her heartsickness by any means necessary as her stomach cramped.
God, how she missed him so...
