“Kev? Kevvy? Baby?” Hollie called softly as she opened the front door to her boyfriend’s lavish home. She peered around the living room to find it empty as Kevin’s voice crackled on the intercom, alerting her that he was downstairs. She wasted no time, turning directly toward the basement steps, hurrying down toward the production studio Kevin had rigged in his soundproof basement. The best equipment known to the producing world had been purchased for this downstairs kingdom, making it a personal haven for Kevin whenever he had any sort of stressors that needed relaxed. And that’s where she found him, hunched over his desk as his heart poured forth some of the most beautiful lyrics known to man. She usually loved watching him work, just perching herself on the side couch in silence. His working lyrical mind was one of the most fascinating qualities about him, but things had changed drastically when Nicola told Howie goodbye. Now she was just anxious to speak with her boyfriend, bound and determined to keep him no matter what the hardships. “Hey, Baby.”
“Hey, Sunshine,” Kevin retorted, pushing his leather chair away from the large desk so Hollie could nestle into his arms. He offered a gentle kiss to her forehead as a proper greeting. “How are you?”
“Miserable.”
“Likewise…” Kevin mumbled into her short blonde locks after freeing them from her messy ponytail. He buried his face into the softness, inhaling the sweet scent of her favorite shampoo. Everything seemed to fall apart when one of the boys was hurting and God how badly Howie hurt at that moment. Kevin wanted to make things right between Howie and Nicola, after all, they had been the reason that he found his lover. Hollie was such a key component in his life. He truly would have been lost without her. Within her dark sapphire eyes lay his entire world. He would forever be indebted to Nicola and Howie, but they needed a miracle that Kevin simply couldn’t muster from his powerful will.
“How’s Howie?” Hollie questioned softly, brushing her fingertips down Kevin’s thick arm as he continued to hold her close. She closed her eyes as he buried his face deeper into her straight locks, knowing that the answer was possibly more dreadful than the original question.
“I wouldn’t know…”
“What do you mean?”
“Howie kicked us out.”
“He…”
“Is upset,” Kevin finished with a sharp sigh, rubbing her back. “He doesn’t want anything to do with us. He just kept repeating that he wanted to be alone. He’s falling apart like when the accident first happened. He’s back in his wheelchair and miserable as Hell.”
“Then do something about it.”
“But And he’s a grown man, Hol. It’s not like I can order him around…”
“You do it to Nick all the time…”
“Hollie…”
She sighed dejectedly, “…Sorry…”
Kevin nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “How’s Nicola?”
“Miserable and I think she regrets her decision. She won’t admit it, but I can see it in her eyes... And poor Lucy is taking it harder than anyone could imagine. She keeps arguing with Nicola and says she hates her. It’s tearing them apart… I can’t stand to watch it anymore… It’s so heartbreaking… I just don’t understand why she did it.”
“Likewise. If they love each other so much, why?”
“She won’t tell me,” Hollie answered softly, burying her face into his neck.
“So, what do we do?” Kevin sighed. “Hope for the best?”
“Hope hasn’t exactly followed Nicola through her life…”
“That’s all Howie ever believed in. God and hope.”
“Then… We’ve got to make them meet in the middle.”
Howie grimaced with the aches and pains of his declining body, hating every fiber of his entire life while he pulled himself back into the wheelchair. After Nicola had left him, Howie’s very essence of determination had crumbled, leaving him far more crippled than the actual accident. The physician’s spoke of Howie having a psychosomatic disorder, meaning that nothing was physically wrong with his legs, but his mind was refusing to let him walk again. He really didn’t care about the diagnosis and chose not to bother with his life. Everything was far too tainted after Nicola turned down his marriage proposal and he still couldn’t stop thinking about how depressing her soft green eyes looked when she turned him down. It was as if she knew all along that they weren’t perfect for one another and dated him out of some sort of pitiless pity. All this time she had been letting him live a lie.
How could she have done it?
How could she have pretended to love him?
Didn’t he deserve to be treated like a human?
Or maybe he really was just half a man?
“God,” Howie breathed as a painful sob formed a thick lump in the middle of his throat. Bowing his head in shame, he furiously pushed himself out of his bedroom where they had spent so many endless nights making love. He couldn’t have asked for a more exciting lover and she seemed to anticipate him as much as he listened to her body’s needs. Yet, he couldn’t stand to remember the feeling of her soft body beneath his as they united as one perfect being as his heart start to bleed with raw pain. If he thought too hard, he could even taste the sweetness of her skin and hear the quickening of her heartbeat as she softly moaned his name in delight. Shuddering with pain, the sob finally broke loose through Howie’s hardened shell, causing him to stop in the middle of the living room. He leaned forward in his wheelchair, bracing his chest as he started to freely sob with all the hurt Nicola had caused in her wake.
“Howie!” Kevin called in surprise, entering a scene that he obviously wasn’t prepared for. He cursed underneath his breath in pain for the younger man, attempting to kneel by the wheelchair to place a supportive hand on Howie’s shoulder. He and Hollie had decided to visit Nicola and Howie separately in hopes to reunite them. They wanted to first understand Nicola’s dismissal of the proposal and then hopefully build from that. But, any chance that Kevin had to speak rationally with Howie was obviously broken. “Hey, D.”
“Get away from me,” Howie hoarsely replied, wiping away the furious tears so Kevin wouldn’t pity him.
“D, I just got here—”
“Makes it twice as easier to leave.”
“Howie, I want to help—”
“I don’t want your help.”
“Howie—”
“Leave!”
“I’m not leaving!”
“FINE! I’LL FUCKING LEAVE THEN!” Howie instantly snapped, throwing Kevin’s arm off his shoulder. Kevin attempted to reach for him again, but Howie violently pushed Kevin backward. The older man crashed to the floor, giving Howie a means of escape. Hotly, he wheeled toward the front door to take the wheelchair ramp, coasting toward the sidewalk before Kevin could even reach him. He didn’t want help, because no one would ever understand. The fact remained that he just couldn’t stand the pain anymore. So, he had to get away.
Nicola rubbed her blurry eyes in disbelief, glancing at the white stick again in astonishment. She had tried to deny the fact since breaking up with Howie, but the signs had been there before the trip to Miami. The queasiness of her stomach, morning sprints to the bathroom to relieve her aching stomach, and tender breasts… She had just suppressed the knowledge, assuming she could work through the details with Howie at her side. In fact, she had been slightly happy at the thought, hoping that Howie would welcome the addition. Yet, that was no longer possible as she remembered how she had ripped Howie’s heart from his ribcage and practically devoured it whole in front of his friends and family, denying his request for marriage. The look of his painfully beautiful brown eyes still haunted her throughout the mournfully long days. And now she would have a permanent reminder of the only lover she ever dreamed of wanting.
“Cola-Pop?” Hollie voice called as a gentle tapping beckoned Nicola away from her thoughts. She lurched from her position on the toilet, fully prepared to launch herself on the door, but it was too late. Hollie had already slipped through the door and was fully aware of the situation. Her dark blue eyes went wide in sheer amazement, causing Nicola to bow her head in soft shame. “Nicola…”
“I know…” Nicola whispered painfully.
“You’re pregnant?”
“I…” Nicola couldn’t even form the proper words as salty tears started to fall down her light caramel cheeks. She was so upset that this had happened again. She had hoped she could get over Howie with time, knowing that she had done everything to protect her daughter. But to have a child by the man she left behind was heart wrenching. She didn’t have the strength.
“Is that why you broke up with Howie? Because, Sweetheart, Howie would be so happy that you’re pregnant. He wanted to marry you and he doesn’t even know about the baby. It’s not like you’re forcing him into it. If anything, it would just make the marriage even sweeter. Lucy deserves to have a baby sibling and you deserve to be loved—”
“No,” Nicola interrupted with a painful whisper.
“I don’t understand—”
“I didn’t have a choice, okay?” Nicola confessed, tossing the pregnancy test into the trash. She pushed away from Hollie and sulked into her bedroom, collapsing onto her large bed. Only, when she rolled onto the left side, she inhaled the soft scent of Howie’s linger cologne. Heavier tears started to flow as she was reminded of the times they had curled together late at night, softly making love as to not rouse Lucy from her slumber of precious dreams. It was those intense passions that had created the child growing in her womb.
“What do you mean? Cola-Pop, please just talk to me,” Hollie encouraged, gently rubbing Nicola’s back to soothe away the pain.
“I ran into Dr. Jacobs at the conference…” Nicola slowly started, burying her face into Howie’s pillow for a moment. She exhaled a painfully shaky breath, unable to stand the sweet smell. So she turned toward Hollie, unable to hide back her pain anymore. “He’s been hitting on me since I started working for him. I managed to bypass all his innuendos and ignore the come-on’s… But then he threatened that he’d take away everything from me if I didn’t say goodbye to Howie…”
“He can’t…”
“He was going to tarnish my reputation because I was dating a former client, not to mention when Trevor committed suicide… He could spin it toward his colleagues and get my license taken away… Then Lucy would get taken away from me… I can’t lose her… Not my daughter…”
“God, Cola-Pop, you can’t let him take control. He doesn’t have the right to say who you love—”
“He’ll take away Lucy!”
“Cola-Pop, please listen to me—” Only, Hollie’s pleas were drowned by the incessant ringing of the phone. She attempted to speak above the noise, but the message left over the answering machine caused Nicola to lurch in pain.
Nicola? Hey… It’s Kevin… I know you really don’t want to hear this, but… God, I don’t know what to do. I went to visit Howie and he just fell apart. He’s so lost without you. We’ve been trying, but he loves you so much… He left and… I don’t know where to find him… He needs you so much, Nic. Please… We need you… Dear God, Howie needs you…
