Howie could hardly see as he wheeled himself along the busy sidewalks of Orlando’s city populations; the tears practically searing his already bloodshot brown eyes. Not that it truly mattered to him, because the pain in his heart was incomparable to any physical pain that he could possibly feel. He truly wanted to end his life if he couldn’t have Nicola by his side, but things weren’t that easy. He was a devote Catholic and knew that suicide was a mortal sin. It was a sin that would cost him an eternity in flames without the chance to even see Nicola in Heaven. So, he was forced to suffer through the sharp aches, attempting to find something to soothe him. Anything to soothe him. But he knew that was impossible, too. When Kevin had tried to soothe his worries, he had just reacted harshly, blowing up at the kind, older man for only trying to help. But, Kevin just didn’t understand. Howie didn’t want the comfort, he just wanted Nicola in his arms again. It didn’t seem like such a hard request and he never asked for much, but, God, he prayed.
Her decline of his proposal was still a baffling mystery. They had devoted every moment of their time together to promising one another how much they truly loved each other and how wonderful they could make Lucy’s life. Everything had seemed so perfect before she left for the Physical Therapy convention. She had been so excited with the prospect of having her own clinic – one that she wanted to dedicate to Howie. Hell, they had even made passionate love before putting her on the plane, actually almost making them late for the flight. Howie couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if he had insisted on one more hug, one more caress, one more kiss… If he could only find a way to fix her broken heart. He was willing to change for her. Whatever she needed – he would be that. He just needed the chance to prove himself. To prove that he could love her like no other. But how?
Hoping for some kind of answer, Howie wheeled himself toward the boardwalk in search of the special spot Nicola had taken him the evening he truly decided to propose. She had told him she found it during the most desperate time in her life, after the burial of her deceased husband. She had been looking for some kind of solace and God had pointed it out to here. It was an abandoned dock toward the end of the boardwalk in beautifully aged condition, perfect for a picnic just before sunset. The ocean seemed to glisten at that point, reflecting the rich tapestry of colors that sunset was always known to bring. She had planned everything so perfectly for him, coining it their ‘secret place.’ Howie had even taken a knife, like so many young sweethearts did, and carved their names in a hidden place on the dock that only they could find. So, he had no trouble finding it, following the boardwalk toward a somewhat busy intersection. Maybe it could give him comfort when Nicola was so far away.
Stifling a painful sob, he waited toward the edge of the nearby street, concentrating on the beautiful ocean lapping against the dock just in the near distance, imagining how sweet Nicola felt in his arms, never noticing the car barreling toward him at a dangerous speed.
Nicola’s lungs burned as she burst into a steady run down the streets of Orlando, the oxygen depleting quickly from her body as she pushed herself harder. Kevin’s frantic phone call had scared her tremendously, because Kevin had always been the calm man. He never got over-excited before analyzing the situation, except when Howie exploded. After Howie had disappeared in a depressed fury of tremendous hurt, no longer stable in his own emotions, Kevin had left the message on Nicola’s machine. She had been pressed to take matters into her own hands immediately. After all, Howie was desperate and frantic because of Nicola’s foolishness. So, she felt a desperately painful need to locate him as quickly as possible. She never could forgive herself if something terrible happened to him. She loved him too much and she had to tell him before he did something stupid.
She knew exactly where he would be running to, because part of her heart had been infused with his as their relationship blossomed. In fact, she knew him better than she knew herself. All his wants and needs were easily read in his rich chocolate eyes and the mere reflections of emotions on his handsome face. The way he practically begged for a kiss as his lips curved into a sly smile and his hands curved around her. The way he laughed softly when she made an adorably frustrated face after burning dinner, knowing they could easily order out and spend the night curled comfortably on the couch with Lucy dozing on them. Easily, he would draw her near and place the tenderest kisses to the most sensitive portions of her body, causing her to tremble with a dark desire. They would then take their passion into the bedroom where everything about them was revealed in a beautiful dance of passion. Nothing was left untouched or without a sweet kiss. Sweet nothings whispered with promises of a golden future. And when the hot passion died into a warm ember of delight, she would gaze into his smoldering dark eyes and find a need that could never be fully appreciated in a spoken language.
Why had she been so damn ignorant to let him go?
Gasping for air, she stopped at the intersection leading to the special dock and rested her hands gingerly against her aching abdomen. Sharp pains exploded against the backs of her legs, her muscles screaming for a mere break, but she couldn’t stop. Swallowing a lump against her dry throat, she pushed herself upward in attempts to depress the button for the ‘walk’ signal across the intersection. Only, as she depressed the button, she noticed Howie at the opposite side, frozen at the corner of the street with his face folded into his hands. He looked to be sobbing softly, but Nicola’s body wilted against the metal light pole with relief.
“Howie--”
Only, her words were lost as she noticed a familiar car barreling toward Howie with dangerous speeds as the light switched to a menacing red. But the car never stepped on its breaks to slow, in fact, it accelerated with a hard rumble of the powerful engine. And, in the splitting of a second, the car tires screeched with a powerful wail as the front bumper connected hard with Howie’s wheelchair. The sound of metal bending and glass breaking was deafening as Nicola released a horrified scream, watching Howie’s body fly hard into the middle of the intersection and crumple against the asphalt like a broken marionette.
“Howie!” Nicola screamed with a sharp shrillness that probably could have shattered glass. She thought nothing of the dangers as she raced into the middle of the crowded intersection, barely recognizing the other sounds of screeching tires veering in attempts to avoid the hazardous situation. She didn’t care though. Nothing seemed to matter at that moment but her tremendous amount of love and adoration for Howie. She had forgotten all about Dr. Jacobs’ meaningless threats, knowing she was nothing without Howie by her side. She just wanted to tell him how much she truly loved him and how sorry she was. She prayed to be forgiven. “Howie!”
Her heart hammered heavily against her already aching chest, stumbling toward the glass littered road in order to fall on her knees beside her hurt lover. The pulsation of the blood racing through her system tapped loudly in her ears as she grew numb. Already sobbing, she gingerly reached to carefully brush away the glass shards that had embedded into his handsome face. Blood seemed to coat every surface of his body, causing Nicola to gag on heavier sobs. But, she didn’t care, meticulously wiping away the blood with her already ruined shirt as she held him close. She whispered silent prayers to him, begging for him to awaken. But he was unresponsive, his chest barely rising to meet a steady, vital breath of air. And, in all her years of medicine, Nicola already knew the inevitable. There was no way that he could possibly survive this disaster.
“God, please,” Nicola begged nonetheless as she heard the distant wail of sirens, bending down to deliver a soft kiss to his cool lips as her tears washed away the blood. “Don’t take him away. I love him.”
