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Chapter 53 – Wishing Beyond Hope

Nicola was truly numbed to the very core of her already broken heart as her mind replayed the horrifying scene that had occurred just hours previous to her trance like state. She just stared off into the corner of the Emergency Room’s waiting area, holding her trembling hands nimbly against her lap. She blended well within the scenery, almost disappearing as silent tears followed a wet path down her pale face. Her dark emerald eyes reflected the losses she had suffered that day, wincing at the sounds echoing within the back of her throbbing head. The entire Rolls Royce had been demolished when it collided with Howie’s already broken form before careening into the nearby telephone pole. Time seemed to blur from the initial accident to the arrival of the police and emergency medical team. She barely remembered Darcy stumbling away from the massive wreck with minor injuries as handcuffs were slapped on her wrists when she failed the sobriety test. And as the ambulance had pulled away from the scene, Nicola continued to study the Rolls Royce spattered with heavy stains of blood as Dr. Jacobs’ lifeless body poked out of the shattered windshield. The paramedics had done their best to cover the deceased to wait for the coroner, but they had other pressing matters.

Howie.

He had been the most critically injury and was currently still in surgery as the police finished their round of questioning with Nicola, since she was the only reliable witness. She had barely been able to answer what they wanted to know however, but they seemed understanding about her state of being. Not that there was much to explain or unearth in this simple case. Dr. Jacobs and Darcy had been severely intoxicated when they started the engine of the expensive Rolls Royce, which had been Dr. Jacobs death. Darcy would be the one convicted after everything was said and done. Perhaps, there might even be two funerals to this horrifying story. That seemed to be the only thought Nicola could concentrate at that moment.

After all, she could only remember falling at his broken body with sheer disbelief. He was contorted and contracted, the wheelchair wrapped around him like a dangerous prison. She had first attempted to pull the cage away from his body, only successfully managing to wound her hands with the sharp edges of metal. Tears of frustration sprang to her eyes as she then attempted to close Howie’s wounds to get the bleeding to stop. But no matter how hard she pushed to stop the blood, it continued to spurt forth. And he was completely unresponsive despite what she knew would be causing him tremendous pain. Even as she continued to sob his name, he refused to stir as his vital liquids muddied the streets. She had said several prayers as she laid over him, kissing his scraped face, promising to never leave him again if he didn’t leave her now. But, it seemed so futile she sat in her chair, gasping for air. Nicola snapped her eyes shut and turned her head away from the emergency unit doors, wanting to forget the horrific scenes. “I love you, Howie…”

“Cola-Pop?” another voice questioned, causing Nicola to jerk in surprise. Standing from her chair, she noticed Hollie practically rushing forward to hold her. And Nicola didn’t disappoint as she threw herself into Hollie’s embrace, immediately sobbing into her older friend’s shoulder. Hollie had to take a few steps back in order to accommodate Nicola’s dead weight, but did nothing to push the younger woman away. Instead, she hugged Nicola close, kissing her sweaty locks. It had been horrifying when Kevin received the phone call that Howie had been taken to the hospital because of a car accident. Neither of the couple should have been driving, but they couldn’t wait. “God, Cola-Pop! It’s okay, Hon’! I’m here now, okay? Everything is going to be fine. Perfectly fine. Howie is going to be okay and you’re going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay--”

“Where’s my baby?” Nicola heaved, her body trembling fiercely within her friends arms. Her thoughts were obviously flighty and unorganized. She was a mess. A complete mess.

“I dropped her off at your mother’s house… Kevin is parking the car and the rest of the guys are on their way. Okay?” Hollie promised, trying to ignore the blood that stained her best friend’s clothing or the disastrous state she was in. It was hard enough to keep Kevin sane through this entire event, she couldn’t very well loose it now. Not when Nicola needed her most.

“She doesn’t know…”

“No, she doesn’t. I just said we were going to pick up ice cream.”

“She didn’t believe you, did she?”

Hollie laughed nervously, “Not in a New York Minute…”

“I’ll have to call her…”

“Just wait until we hear about Howie,” Hollie suggested as she led her friend back to the waiting area while Kevin hurriedly trudged over to them. Hollie offered what she hoped was an encouraging smile to her lover as he paled at all the blood practically drenching Nicola’s body. “You haven’t heard anything, have you?”

“Not yet,” Nicola whispered, bowing her head so she didn’t have to see Kevin’s pleading eyes. She knew the second their gazes connected, he would know what she saw at the accident scene. That he would know she didn’t believe that Howie would be coming out of this hospital without the doctor’s signature scrawled on his death certificate. It just wasn’t physically possible that Howie had survived.

“Do his parents know?” Hollie questioned, attempting to stir conversation.

“They’re on their way,” Nicola promised.

“What the Hell happened, Nicola?” Kevin finally asked, his voice hoarse with raw pain.
“He was crossing the street and a car collided into him,” Nicola breathed with a painful sob, covering her face with her injured hands. “The people driving were drinking… Dr. Jacobs and Darcy were drinking and they hit Howie like he was just some bump in the damn road… It’s all my fault…”

“Dear God…” Kevin breathed.

“Jacobs is dead… Darcy is at the police station right now… Howie is in surgery… And I’m just sitting here… Perfectly fine when I should be the one suffering… Not Howie…”

“Cola-Pop, no…” Hollie murmured in shock, reaching to rub the young woman’s back.

Kevin crouched down in front of Nicola as he watched her sob softly. “Nicola…”

“I love him so much…” she confessed.

“And you’ll get to tell him that again,” Kevin promised as he finally caught her gaze. And, just like she feared, Kevin read the trepidation coursing through her emerald eyes. “Nicola, you are going to get to tell him that again and you are going to help him get better again and you are going to tell him yes when he asks to marry you again.”

“Kevin, it’s not physically possible--”

“Him walking again wasn’t physically possible, right?”

“Technically, yes…”

“But he did walk again,” Kevin commented, his voice demanding when she didn’t respond right away. “Right, Nicola?”

“Yes.”

“So, he can do it again.”

“Kevin--”

“Howie Dorough’s family?” a soft voice interrupted, causing the three friends to lurch from their positions. They immediately turned toward the physician, studying him carefully. He appeared professional, which meant cold. There was no way to tell what had happened to Howie. No way to read it before the words fell from his lips. Nicola had to suck in a sharp breath as she clutched onto Kevin’s arm, allowing him to bring both her and Hollie into his embrace. He pressed firm kisses to both their foreheads as they each offered a silent prayer.

“That’s us,” Kevin answered.

“Well, this--”

“Just tell us if he’s okay,” Nicola whispered, not wanting to know specifics, but more importantly if Howie was still with them.

“He’s alive.”