Real Men don’t eat quiche, they eat Pringles…
After Howie played those kick ass songs for us, things really started moving along recording wise. We all went into the sessions with a new sense of excitement and actually didn’t want to gag whenever we heard the play backs. I know people will argue with me about this and most of the people that want to are the same ones who have no idea what they are talking about, but Max Martin is a genius.
Seriously, if it wasn’t for him I’m not exactly sure if this album would have even gotten any further than the third of fourth track. We were that burnt out and directionless. Jesus, it was like 5 of me walking around the studio and everyone knows one of me is more than enough.
So, in Backstreet land everything seemed to be going great. I wish I could say the same in Nick land, but in my land…not so much. Paris and I reconciled shortly after we began this whole rock sound experiment. Things were actually really great for a little while there. We weren’t fighting at all, I thought she had found a new respect for me and I certainly saw the error of my ways.
Our first meeting after the phone fight was at her wrap party for The Simple Life. I know the guys weren’t overly crazy about the idea of me going up there after all the stuff that had happened, but all in all she is my girlfriend and I love her, so I went. She was cold to me at first but by the end of the night we were back to our lovey dovey selves. Did I just say lovey dovey? No telling anyone I just said that, okay?
Things seemed to be going extremely well in Nick land and I can honestly say I was happy. Until a few weeks ago, that’s when we had a little tornado type thing in my kingdom, it tore the roofs off of the houses and flooded my heart with sadness. Shut up and stop laughing I’m trying to be poetic!
I caught her cheating on me. I know I shouldn’t be surprised but I was. Okay and no, I didn’t actually witness the cheating, I heard about it. She was in Canada filming House of Wax and a mutual friend of ours calls me up and tells me he thinks I should know that Paris was playing tongue hockey with one of the cameramen.
I didn’t know what to do or think, at first I took all my aggravation out on him, the poor guy. He was only trying to help and what do I do? Call him every name in the book. Then I made the mistake of calling her, she was with a guy alright, how did I know this? He answered her God damned phone!
I was not happy at all and still haven’t talked to her. She has called me a thousand times, left me a gazillion messages and I have ignored them all. What a bitch! AH!!! I can’t believe she did that to me. And you know what makes this even worse? We just got tattoos professing our love for each other.
She put my name on her ass and I put her name on my wrist. If she was going to cheat on me, why did she even bother to do that?
In a way I’m glad it happened though, because seriously, she is toxic. The guys have repeatedly told me this but did I listen? As usual the answer is no, but it’s the truth, she hasn’t been a good thing for me. I know this now; I just wish that Kevin would stop telling me, that’s what is happening now if you can’t tell. Kevin is in the middle of giving me a talk about how much better I am without Paris in my life.
I know… I made the mistake of bringing it up; I happened to come in today in a humdrum mood and he asked what was wrong and I said that one word…Paris. That was about…oh I don’t know…five hours ago? Okay maybe I’m exaggerating a little. But he placed his hand on my shoulder and started with the, ‘when I was your age’ speech. My brain can only take so much of that one.
Pretend I’m saying this low and extremely slow to get the effect of what it’s like to have a Kevin moment…
“When I was your age Nickolas I had a girlfriend who’s name was Pam.” You have to keep in mind that if he was my age he would be with Kristin, but since he always pictures me as a 15 year old, that’s what he’s talking about. When he was 15 he dated this chick Pam.
“And Pam was very much like Paris, she always managed to get her way for everything. Her parents were very rich and she was spoiled rotten. My family hated her!” He usually goes off on some kind of tangent here about his brother Tim or sometimes about his mother and her habit of showing people his naked baby pictures. Why he does this, I do not know.
“Anyway, one day I caught her making out with one of my linebackers.” Usually about here is where he reminds me he was the captain of his football team in high school. Then I get one of those sad, ‘but you’ll never know what that’s like kiddo’ type looks.
“Are you listening to me?” Uh oh…
I looked over at him and nodded, “Yeah, sorry man…I’m just bummed that’s all.”
He gave me a look, he knew I was just totally zoning out on him. He’s going to do it…shit shit shit!
“Okay if you were listening, what’s the last thing I said?” He asked me with this sly grin on his face. Like he knew he was going to catch me in a lie. Stupid Kevin!
“Said.”
“Huh?”
“You asked me what was the last thing you said and that would technically be the word said.” Ha! Take that Mr. Been there done that!
“Nick…seriously, can you concentrate for at least ten seconds?” Now that was a good question. You know what’s funny? Everyone asks me that all the time and not once have I ever actually counted to ten. Let’s see if it works.
One
Two
Three
“So where was I? Oh yes…. I thought my life was over…”
Four
Five…I can really use some Pringles. My God I haven’t had those things in such a long time. The ones with the cheddar cheese on them… wow, so tasty. Yummy yummy Pringles…that is what I want.
“Nick?”
“Hey dude…you want anything from the vending machine?” He looked at me like I was nuts or something.
“What? We’re in the middle of a conversation.”
“Sorry, I just got the biggest craving for Pringles…do you think they have them in the machine?”
He shook his head in disgust, “I don’t know…maybe?”
“I’ll be right back Kev…” I said patting his back and walking out the door.
Did I make it to ten?
“What’s the matter with you?” My cousin asked me when he walked in the door, ironically enough, munching on Pringles.
“Did you get those from the vending machine?”
“These? No they don’t have Pringles in the vending machine…I actually had to make a 7/11 run.”
“Nick will be disappointed.”
He laughed at that, “Okay…so what’s going on?”
“Not much.” Now that I had been blown off by our youngest member, I moved back to my place at the console. I admit I enjoyed taking the helm at the head like I was Captain Spock. Or was it Kirk? I always get those two confused. I’m not big on Science fiction.
“Are you here alone?”
“Physically no, but mentally very much so.”
“Ah, so young Nickolas Gene is here as well?”
“Yes, on a pilgrimage to track down some Pringles.”
“How’s he holding up?”
“It’s a bad day.”
“I see.”
I nodded at him. If Nick only knew how much his relationship with women actually helped my wife and I; we could have the dumbest fight in the universe but then I’d always manage to call her up, after some Carter drama and say, “Don’t ever leave me because I can not handle being single ever again!”
“Where are AJ and Howie?”
“Howie’s taking the day off because of something to do with his foundation and AJ is running late. I think he was running a meeting.”
“That’s excellent for him!”
I nodded. I was so proud of AJ, not only was he doing a great job but now he was helping other people as well. “I’m proud of him.”
“I am too.” Brian agreed just as the Pringles boy walked back into the room.
“Well I know you’re not talking about me.”
He said it jokingly but I could tell there was a tiny bit of sarcasm in his tone. I looked at his Pringle-less hands, “I see your mission wasn’t accomplished.”
He shook his head at me as he popped an M&M into his mouth. “No, can you believe they didn’t have any?”
“How shocking…” I said sarcastically as well. He did zone out on me and then leave while I was mid sentence. I had a right to give him a little bit of an attitude.
“As always Brian to the rescue…” My cousin walked over to Nick and handed him the canister of chips to which he responded by grabbing him in a huge hug and licking his neck…yuck!
“Okay down boy…”
“Brian I think we’re beginning to share the same brain again, I mean what are the chances that I would be craving Pringles and you would happen to just show up with some.”
“Nick, that statement terrified me.”
“I heart Pringles…” Both Brian and I shook our heads, but my cousin couldn’t help but laugh. I have to admit, I have missed their little Frick and Frack dynamic. It seemed like slowly it was beginning to resurface. This could be a good thing or a bad thing.
“Hey Bri…I bet I can stuff more Pringles in my mouth than you can!”
Yeah…most likely a bad thing.
“I bet you can too.” I wasn’t about to dare him to try.
He nodded knowingly and then stuck another chip in his mouth. He killed me sometimes, how child like he could be. Not always in a bad way either. When people hear those words, ‘child like’ they tend to think that it’s some horrible insult, but I think sometimes it’s a good way to be.
I know back in the days when I was considered ‘child like,’ I probably had the most fun. It’s okay to act like a kid sometimes. I wish my wife understood that every once in awhile.
Leighanne is the best thing that has ever happened to me, don’t get me wrong but sometimes I feel like I’m being forced to be someone I’m not. Just sometimes and it’s not even that big of a deal half the time…in fact, you know what? Forget I even said anything.
Nick glanced over at me with two Pringles in his hand making them overlap to look like a duck’s bill. “Quack quack says the duckie.” He said in a horrible Donald Duck voice, I mean just terrible.
“I’m the only one that can do that you know…”
He walked over and placed his head on my shoulder, “Then do it…come on Brian…do the duck for me…please?” I couldn’t help but picture that small kid I loved so much. He would follow me around endlessly and ask me to do silly voices and back flips, like I was his pet monkey or something.
I glanced over at Kevin and he caught my eyes. We both knew that this was how Nick was dealing with the break up, he needed to be a kid so as always, I gave into him.
“What is wrong with you Nickolas Gene Carter? Huh? Huh?” I said in my best Donald Duck voice. I was king of the voice before but ever since becoming a dad, I had graduated to master.
He giggled as if he had never heard anything so funny, it should have made me smile but instead it alarmed me. Just for a brief second, I felt like maybe he was on something, maybe he had taken something that made him be extra giddy. He seemed like he was high. I didn’t like that, so I stopped.
“Aww why did you stop?” he asked all confused.
“Doing Donald hurts my throat.” I lied to him and gave him a small smile. His eyes were a little glassy and once again I found myself looking over at my cousin. I hated thinking about Nick in that way but to be honest, I was often worried about Nicky and maybe what he was doing when no one was looking.
Maybe if he didn’t hang out with the crowd he did, but all of his friends were losers, let’s just face facts about that. They all did stupid stuff and as many lectures as I gave him to stay away from that life, I think when we all went our separate ways, Nick delve into that crowd head first.
“Hey guys!” AJ’s voice made me jump. When he walks into the room he just doesn’t walk in, he screams in if that makes any sense.
“I thought you were going to be late.”
“You want me to leave Littrell?”
“No, relax I was just saying I thought you were coming later. Chill Doofo!”
“Nick what in the hell are you doing?” I looked over a the blonde to see him holding two chips up to his ears now pretending he was Mickey Mouse.
“I’m being Mickey Mouse dude!” Once again the fact that I knew that ahead of time scared me a little.
“Oh yeah, silly me.” AJ rolled his eyes and shook his head.
I had the best friggin’ meeting ever. It was intense and very emotional but in the end, I got someone to open up, and it was someone who didn’t even want to be there. I could tell by her demeanor when she walked into the meeting that she was there against her will. I knew that look because I had worn it so many times. She sat in the back with her head down, staring at her watch every couple of minutes.
I went on about how hard it is to come back to the real world after being in rehab. How being around people who drank all then time was one of the biggest tests they would ever have to conquer. I used my roommate as an example. How hard it was sometimes to know that he was in his room drinking a beer and there I was sipping on some iced tea.
I got a lot of understanding nods, all except from the girl in the back. She could care less about my story or anyone else’s. Until I called her out, we aren’t supposed to do that in AA. You don’t talk until you are ready, but for some reason, I just felt compelled to single her out.
She seemed surprised at first and a little annoyed but after a few seconds of goading, she told us her story and sure enough, just like I figured, she told us she was there to fulfill a court ordered obligation. That she didn’t really belong here and didn’t have a problem.
I told her I felt the same way once upon a time. I didn’t have a problem it was everybody else. Then I told her how that thinking almost killed me and destroyed all the people I loved. I could tell she was starting to listen to what I was saying as her body language softened. She started crying and then shortly after, decided to continue on even after her court order was fulfilled.
I’m not sure if there will be a happy ending for this girl or not. Chances are, I probably won’t even see her again. But to know that maybe I made a difference in someone’s life, I can’t even begin to describe what that feels like.
“So how was the meeting?”
I glanced over at Rok and smiled, “It went really well.”
“Good, I’m glad.”
“I think I may have helped someone realize they have a real problem.”
“AJ, that is fantastic.” Kevin chimed in from the console.
“Yeah, it felt great actually.”
“I’m so proud of you man.” Kevin looked as if he was going to cry…again. I love how they make me feel, they have been so supportive of me, really I love these goofballs.
“Thanks Kev…so did I miss anything?”
“We have been absolutely unproductive today, so the answer is no.”
I glanced over at Nick who seemed to be in his own little galaxy munching on chips and staring at the wall as if it was telling him something important. I smiled at the sight, when the kid zones out he really zones the hell out. I wonder if he made it so obvious in school too.
I know he did when we would have a few classes together. It didn’t happen very often because I was usually paired with Rok, but even still I remember throwing a few balled up papers his way to get him to come back to the real world. So that’s what I ended up doing right then and there.
I reached over, grabbed a flyer from a local pizza place, balled it up and flung it at Carter and because my aim so superb, I hit him right in the head.
“What the hell was that for?” He asked rubbing at his head as if it wasn’t a small paper I just whapped him with but a steal girder or something.
“You were zoning out.”
“No, I wasn’t. I heard everything just fine…sorry, I’m proud of you too. Is that what you needed to hear?” Whoa…where did that come from?
“Yes and now I feel much better, thanks.” I winked at him.
“Glad I could help…I’m getting a Coke; does anyone want anything out of the vending machine?”
“Why don’t you settle for a water since you’ll be singing in a little bit.”
“Because I don’t want a water Kev, I want a Coke.”
Brian and Kevin looked at each other in a strange way; ah I see this is one of those infamous Carter mood swings. He’s been having a lot of those lately, poor heartbroken kid.
Kevin put his hands up in a surrendering gesture, “Fine…go get your Coke.”
“Thanks for the permission.”
When he was gone, I faced the guys, “What’s his deal?”
“He was fine until you showed up, thanks a lot for that.” Kevin answered which had Brian laugh.
“AJ…” I looked over at Rok, he looked troubled.
“What?”
“I know you hate when I say what I’m going to say…but have you looked at Nick’s eyes?”
I knew where he was going with this, Brian has been thinking more now than ever, that Nick is getting himself into drugs. I’m not exactly sure why he is thinking that way but I know the signs and I don’t see them much. Thank God.
“No, but are they still blue and dreamy as ever?”
“You know what I mean.”
“He’s fine Brian…he is in the process of breaking it off with someone he said he loved. That’s hard.”
“I know, but the way he was acting earlier…”
Kevin joined in at that point, “We just want to make sure he’s doing okay.”
“He is, I see him every day. I live with him and I’m telling you, as scary as this sounds, it’s just the way he acts.”
“He’s drinking a lot more lately.” I had to agree with Kevin there and that is also what scared me a little. He was always really good about not drinking in front of me, but I never noticed that he had a mini dorm type fridge in his room where he always kept at least a case of beer among other things, until I had to start babysitting him after he fell out the window.
Brian and I saw that fridge and that’s really when all this skepticism on his part came from, the night we put those locks on Nick’s window.
After Howie and Brian left, I had asked him about the purpose of the fridge and he said it was there for when he had company. He knew by having all that alcohol in the fridge, it would be too tempting to me so he hid it in his room. End of story, as far as he was concerned.
“I’ll keep an eye on him; I always keep an eye on him.” Brian was about to say something when Nick came back, holding a Coke in one hand and a Snickers in the other.
“Where did my Pringles go?”
He walked over to Brian, “I’m sorry dude. I finished them.”
Brian shook his head and grabbed the candy bar out of Nick’s hand and took a bite. “Then I’m stealing your Snickers Nickers.”
“Hey! Give me that back!” He giggled as the two of them started play wrestling on the floor.
“Yup, pretty unproductive day…” Kevin mumbled looking over at me and smiling.
“Let’s blame Howie!” Nick yelled from the floor as Brian straddled him and pretended to smack his face.
We’re an odd bunch…and yes, it’s all Howie’s fault!
Thanks for reading everyone! :O)
