The Corner Deli Eye Rolls have it!
At first it was endearing, the whole Kevin looking out for us and making sure we stayed on track health wise and all, thing. I even agreed with him. I noticed it was actually working on Nick and that alone made me smile. For the first time in his entire life I saw the boy order a plate of vegetables as a meal. I almost choked on my water. In that way, Kevin’s diet and exercise plan was working wonders. It got old though and relatively quickly.
Now, I’m kind of health conscious myself. I mean I’m not like ‘I have to drink weird lemon grass and soy or anything’ health conscious and I hardly work out as much as I should, but still I know when to say when. I lay off sweets and most greasy foods although I am a fan of the spicy stuff and alcohol. But when Kevin started in on even me, I knew that by the time we actually started touring, I might have to go a bit ‘Puerto Rican’ on his ass! I mean that in the most loving way.
I can’t help it when I get like this though; it’s a well hidden secret. I’m not sure how we even manage to hide it from fans, but I become almost psychotic right before a big launch of any kind happens, whether it is a tour, or a new album. I lose it for a few minutes…or days…okay more like days.
Of course I get all kinds of crap for it. Especially from Nick and AJ who insist that no matter what I do, I never get in trouble for it, and okay, they’d be right, but still…I do get my fair share of crap and believe it or not today was turning into one of those pick on Howie D days.
“Are you listening to me Howie?” See what I mean?
I turned to Kevin just in time to see him roll his eyes at me. “Don’t roll your eyes at me Kev…I’m not a child!”
“I know that, sorry. It was a general eye roll.” What the hell is a general eye roll? Does he roll his eyes that much that he feels the need to categorize them now? And wow that’s something Nicky would say.
“Tell me again why we have to do this interview?”
“I knew you weren’t listening to me.” He actually rolled his eyes at me again! But he was right, I had zoned out in the meeting. I had a lot on my mind, and all the agenda talk was becoming a bit overwhelming for me. I started to freak out when I saw our schedule laid out before us. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen an itinerary like this. I’d gotten very comfortable with the way things have been for the last few years. I did a lot during that time; don’t get me wrong, but there were usually long gaps in between my busy weeks and my not so busy weeks.
There were no gaps in this schedule at all. Once we started it seemed like we were never ever going to stop.
“I just don’t see the point. Aren’t they always rude to us? They never really play our stuff and when they do, they diss it.” I was talking about some radio station that for whatever reason Johnny had scheduled an interview for. He had scheduled lots of radio interviews of which I knew Paris would be the main subject.
“Because it’s publicity Howie. You know as well as any of us, how important it is for us to get ourselves out there again. We’ve been gone a long time. Music has changed. We have to give the kids a reason to want to care again.”
“Okay, that’s fine.” I let out a huge sigh and rubbed at my temples. A headache was starting to form right behind my eyes. I think Kevin took that as a sign to walk away. Of course right as he did, someone else decided to make an appearance.
“Howie’s losing it.” When I got like this, I tried my best to distance myself from Nicky. I wish he would be able to take that hint. He never did though.
“I’m not losing anything.” And of course I only make it worse by talking to him.
“Yeah you are, I see it in your eyes man. You’re on the verge of losing it.”
“If he is, you’re probably not helping.” Thanks AJ!
“Yeah you’re probably right.” Nick said as he walked over to me and gave me a big, wet, sloppy kiss on the cheek. “I love you maaan.” I want to run him over. Can I run him over?
“Nick, get off of me!” I brushed him away to which he giggled like a little school girl. Damn him…he always cracks me up with that infectious giggle of his.
“Okay guys, I need to go…but I’ll be back later. Don’t miss me too much.” He waved as he trotted away.
I forgot he had something else to do today. That’s kind of good though, because like I said before, on days when I’m feeling like this…Nicky isn’t a good person to be around. I guess I still love him though…when he’s not driving me crazy.
“You got any plans for lunch D?”
“Nope.”
“You want to go grab some before we have to be back here?”
I looked at AJ and smiled, “Sure.”
“Excellent, let me go pee and then we’ll go. You want to drive?”
“Yeah sure, why not.” I volunteered because AJ drives like a maniac.
“Howie.” What does everyone want with me? I am going to change my name to Hugo. Nobody ever yells out for a Hugo.
“Yeah?” Now it was Kevin…again, and surprisingly keeping his eyes in one place and not allowing them to roll back in his head.
“No carbs!” For the love of God!
I just nodded and smiled at him, “Yeah Kev…I know.”
“I wasn’t really meaning you either…”
“I’ll make sure AJ doesn’t have a potato sandwich.”
He laughed and I guess I have to work on my sarcasm.
I need a new skull cap. This one is about as warn out as it can get without it actually becoming a part of my actual skull. I get into these trends, like getting tattoos, or polishing my nails, buying skull caps etc…and seems like once I start I can’t stop. I guess that’s all part of having an addictive personality. I can’t let things go, I need to take everything over the top.
It’s just the way I am I guess, whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Okay I know it’s a bad thing but that’s a good thing, right? That I know it’s a bad thing?
Screw this; I need a new skull cap. I took my old one off and flung it into the garbage can. I guess that’s the impulsive side of my personality coming out. I’m impulsive and addictive. What a great combination of social inadequacies!
By the time I walked out of the bathroom, Howie was not looking amused. He’s in one of his moods. It doesn’t happen often with the D-man but right when we are about to start really working our asses off, he gets a little neurotic. It should be entertaining. We kind of sound like a start to a really stupid joke, so a compulsive, addictive but yet recovering alcoholic and a neurotic Puerto Rican walk into a bar…
“I thought you fell in.”
“Sorry I was having hair issues.”
“You mean like you realizing you don’t have any?” Okay yes, that was Sweet D talking ladies and gentlemen. Sweet my ass! Why is it that when he acts like a butthole, either me or Nick are the only two people to ever witness it?
“Ha friggin haha…you got me.”
“You kind of just walked into that one. Don’t go blaming me for that.”
“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” When Howard was in one of these moods it was best to just agree with him. Otherwise he could kick my ass if he wanted to, not that he would do that but damn…trust me on this one. “So where do you want to go? How long do we have?”
He looked at his watch, “Kevin said an hour, and what Kevin says goes.” He rolled his eyes which made me crack up. “What?” He asked, still rolling his eyes which further just made me smile. Howie just looked silly doing that for some reason. It fit Kevin like a glove and I swear Nick was born rolling his, but for Howie, it just seemed so unnatural.
“Nothing dude…just relax.”
“I am relaxed.”
“No Howie, you so are NOT.”
“Whatever…where do you want to go?”
“I don’t care man, but if we only have an hour, it should be somewhere fast and close.”
“Kevin told me not to let you have carbs.”
“Yeah, because I might gain enough weight to fit into men’s sized clothing?” Okay that did the trick, I made him laugh. Sure it was at my expense but that’s okay. It was much needed.
“We can always go to the corner deli up the street.”
“Deli’s have sandwiches Howie.”
“Anyone who cares raise your hand.” He looked around, saw neither of our hands go up, rolled his eyes and continued, “Okay deli it is then.”
Is it wrong of me to enjoy this side of Howie every once in a while?
Since the deli was only about three blocks away, we decided to walk there, I guess to keep ourselves from feeling completely guilty about having bread as well. It was a nice day out. I love LA sometimes, with it’s always 76 degree, sunny weather.
“This is going to be hell AJ.” He finally said after the first major intersection we crossed.
“It’s going to be fine Howie.”
“It’s going to be hell.”
“Once we start, you’ll get used to it again.”
“Did you see the schedule? This is probably our last free week for a year.”
He was right, our schedule had us working almost every single day or if not every day, enough days that when we actually had off, we couldn’t really do anything.
“I mean, I’m surprised Brian didn’t have a cow…when is he going to get to actually have any family time?”
“She’s coming with us probably.” He rolled his eyes again. God, I love D.
“It should be very cozy with all of us in the same bus, huh?” Of course why I was adding fuel to the fire was beyond me. It just seemed like the right thing to say at that point and time.
“I don’t even want to think about it. Whose dumb idea was that anyway?”
“Nick I think.”
“Naturally,” another roll of the eyes. “Well, at least we don’t have to worry about that for a little while. We have to get through all the press stuff first which should be entertaining.”
“Howie, everything will be fine. It always is.”
He looked over at me and nodded, “I know…sorry I’m just in a mood.”
“Really? Hadn’t noticed.”
Once again he rolled his eyes at me but finally, as we opened the jingling door to the deli, he seemed like he was calming down. That is of course until we saw Brian and Leighanne sitting there in a corner, eating sandwiches and looking as if they were in the middle of a very intense conversation.
“Great.” I said as I rolled my eyes…I guess it’s contagious.
You know it’s not like I even have enough time in the day for myself but when she gets into one of her moods I just want to crawl under a rock and hide for like a month solid. I love my wife but sometimes….that doesn’t make me a bad person though. Is there anyone out there that likes it when people whine and nag and complain about every little thing?
Seriously!
“Are you listening to me?” I looked over at her and took a bite of my sandwich, a sandwich that if my cousin knew I was eating he’d probably ground me as if I was five years old.
“Yes, I’m listening to you and I heard every word you said. The thing is, the decision has already been made Leigh.”
“Well unmake it! I’m not sharing a bus with all of them! We have a small child to think about, I’m sure they’ll be okay with bending your little decision.”
Ever since I broke the news to Leigh that we would all be sharing one bus for the mini tour we had planned, she has been on a mission to get me to change their minds. Not that I was crazy about this idea either, but in a way I can see the point. This was a new beginning so why not go back to the way it always was.
“Leigh, it’s more of a budgeting issue than anything else…” I lied.
“How is Baylee going to live in the same place as Nick and what if Nick brings some of his loser friends on tour with him? I’m not having that horrid Bean guy and Baylee in the same bus! Let alone the same city.”
“I’m sure that Nick realizes Baylee is a child.”
“Really?” She gave me one of her raised eyebrow looks and that’s when I heard the front door jingle and saw AJ and Howie walk in. Thank the Lord Jesus. They looked over at me and I quickly smiled, it was one of those ‘please help me now!’ smiles. I have picked up on countless times when AJ needed to get out of a sticky situation, usually with one of the girls he was trying to pick up or a crazy fan he may have encountered and was stupid enough to invite her to sit down and have lunch with him. You’d think he’d recognize that look but no, he didn’t. They went to go sit at a different table all together! AHH!
“Leigh, I know it’ll be tough but it’s not that long of a tour.”
“Not that long? Brian it goes on for months!”
“You knew it was going to be like this.”
“Of course I knew, but I thought they would all be willing to be flexible with our situation.”
“I think it’s important that we do it this way honey.”
“You do?” I once again found myself looking over at my band mates for help but I swear they were purposely avoiding eye contact with me. Smart thinking I guess.
I smiled at my wife; it was the same smile that has gotten me out of trouble countless times before. She always had a soft spot for my smile, so might as well use it, right? “I think it’s important that we all spend as much time together as possible. Honey, it’s been a long time.”
“But you have been spending all your time together already! The first few months you were here you were all together!”
“I know…but it’s a getting back to our roots type thing.”
She let out a sigh, “I am not going to be able to come with you for the whole thing, you realize that right?”
I nodded at her, “I know…but we’ll talk every single day and you guys will come out often enough that I won’t have time to miss you.”
“You know when Bay starts school…”
“We’ll worry about that when it gets closer to time sweetheart.” I placed my hand on her cheek and she leaned her face into it.
“I love you Brian…”
I winked at her, “I know…I love you too.” Disaster averted all because of my irresistible charm. No thanks at all to my two ‘brothers’ I will remember that the next time either of them have a deer caught in the headlights look on their faces.
AJ and Howie walked over to the counter to grab their food and then made their way over to our table. Great, now they come over. They probably sensed that the all clear sign was waved. “Hey guys, we didn’t see you there.” AJ lied. He’s a big, fat, hairy liar.
“Hi.” Leighanne answered as she stood up, “I have to go…I promised Terry I’d be back by 2.”
I stood up with her and kissed her cheek. “I’m not sure when we’ll be done, but it shouldn’t be too late.”
“I’ll be waiting up for you and I’m sure your son will too, so try not to be too long!” She gave a smile to both AJ and Howie and then walked out of the deli.
“Did you guys have a fight?” I KNEW they saw us!
“More like a tiny spat AJ. I knew you saw us before. You should have come over and said hello.”
“Riiight, I’ll remember that for the next time.”
They both sat down, Howie giving me a sympathetic look and AJ burping as he bit into his sandwich.
I wanted everything to go perfectly, is that too much to ask? I mean I can only do the best I can. Sometimes it’s just annoying being the bad guy; I’m always the bad guy. For once I want to be the one sitting in a corner doing something stupid. Maybe that’s what I’ll do, have a complete role reversal with Nick. Let him be me for a day and I can go be carefree and walk around with my butt hanging out of my pants all day long. And there I go again, I’m taking my frustrations out on Nick and he’s not even here.
“Sorry Nick.” I said to my water, since Nick was nowhere to be found. And it was easier to apologize to a bottle of water than Nick anyway. I’m doing it again. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity as I continued on my walk.
It was a beautiful day and I have gotten used to taking our lunch break as an opportunity to walk along the beach and just have some me time, bringing along a yogurt and some water to have on the way. It was nice to reflect and with the way our schedule looks, I’ll need some major reflecting time now because lord knows when I’ll have time to reflect later.
I won’t let myself get all anxious about it though. What good will that do? Every time we are about to start on something like this, I always do that to myself. Let all the ‘what ifs’ get to me to the point that I’m making myself physically ill. This time I have to go about things differently. I can’t worry myself every minute of the day whether or not Nick is up and ready to go, or if AJ remembers to show up for an interview.
“I can’t let myself be the party pooper this time.” I hate that role, I really do but just as I said that, I happened to pass a deli where I saw Brian, AJ and Howie all eating sandwiches and drinking soda.
It was as if time stopped, they looked at me, I looked at them and then things went bonkers. I opened the door to the restaurant just as AJ put the remainder of his sandwich in his mouth as if to get rid of all the evidence. He had a lot of that sandwich left. He kind of looked like a chipmunk storing nuts for the winter. Yes, that ridiculous.
“Kev…what are you doing here?” Brian asked nervously as he scooted his sandwich behind his drink as if I was stupid and didn’t notice it in the first place.
“I was out walking.”
“Oh…” I glanced over at AJ who had his mouth still incredibly full. He tried his best to smile at me but some bread made its way out of his mouth when he did that, so I looked away. Suddenly I felt as though I had walked into an episode of Friends or Seinfeld. Howie just kind of shrugged at me. He could care less that I caught him. That made me glad for some reason.
“So…” I didn’t know exactly what to say, part of me wanted to laugh, another part wanted to lecture, but the hungry part wanted to go and order a hot roast beef sandwich and say to hell with it.
“AJ, swallow your food or you’re going to choke to death.” I nodded at Brian. And shook my head and rolled my eyes at AJ who grabbed a napkin and spat out his food into it. That’s when I finally allowed myself to laugh. I had been holding it in ever since they all looked like kids being caught with a porn magazine.
Naturally once I started to laugh, all of them followed, “You guys are something else.” I said as I sat down beside Howie and took a swig of my water.
“So, no lecture then?” AJ looked up at me with hopeful eyes.
“Guys, I know you all know how to use self control when it comes to stuff like this. You know it’s more Nick I’m worried about. Someone needs to be on his back all the time.”
“So you aren’t going to go like… all Kevin on our asses?”
“Go Kevin on your asses?” I raised a brow at AJ. “How many phrases do you guys actually have with mine name in it…no wait, never mind…I don’t want to know.”
“So how come you all went out to lunch together and didn’t invite me?” I was still trying to decide if I wanted to break my own diet and get something from the deli because frankly, the smell of the place was making me salivate.
“We didn’t, we just all kind of ended up here. Call it fate, or destiny, whatever you want…I want a black and white cookie. Can I have one Kevin?” Well, that was random.
I shook my head at AJ, “Have whatever you want AJ, if you won’t feel guilty about it and work it off, go nuts. Don’t let me stop you. I’m not your daddy and you don’t need my permission.”
“Just for the record, everyone did hear that, right?” Brian and Howie nodded and laughed as AJ made his way to the counter to get his cookie.
“Are you guys freaking out about the schedule?”
“A little…” Howie answered.
Brian said, “My wife and I were just fighting about it.”
“It looks really packed, but you know…we can do this.” I gave them my most reassuring smile. I always did when I sensed doubt in the room. Sometimes it worked others it didn’t. This time, I’m not sure. They both still looked unsettled.
AJ walked over with four black and white cookies, one for each of us. I gladly took it and bit into it, seems like I am not as disciplined as I used to be. “Here’s to the long road ahead of us.” We held our cookies in the air and clanked them together as if they were a glass of champagne.
Just as we did that, I swear to God Carter walked by the deli window. He peered in at us as we were all holding our cookies in the air and I would have felt guilty if I hadn’t noticed the McDonald’s bag and cup which most likely held a chocolate shake, that he was carrying. When he saw my eyes on him…I kid you not, the boy dropped his food and ran.
We all just about died laughing…poor Nick.
“Should I run after him, just to give him a heart attack?” I asked finally as the laughter subsided.
“Isn’t he supposed to be at a meeting of some kind?” Brian asked as he finished his last bite of his cookie.
“Yeah…but its right up the street.” I answered. They seemed surprised that I knew his schedule, but ever since he was a kid, it’s kind of just been my job. “Well, we better get back to work ourselves huh?” I stood up and the others followed.
I laughed once more under my breath as I saw Nick’s milkshake all over the sidewalk. See? I knew it was a chocolate milkshake. AJ bent down to grab at the bag, “I wonder if he has fries in there. I’m in the mood for Mickey D’s fries…Ouch!” He said the ‘ouch’ because I bopped him in the back of the head.
