She hadn’t seen him since last Sunday. Nor had she received any more gifts from him since she’d called him Wednesday. Maybe he’d finally gotten the message. And maybe she would survive if she never saw him again, and there were times--particularly in the middle of the long, lonely nights--when she doubted it.
She couldn’t stand another quiet, solitary evening in her apartment, which was now haunted by his presence, especially in her bedroom. So, she had changed into a lace-trimmed black satin camisole and a short denim skirt that flared at her thighs and a pair of knee-high boots. She tousled her hair, applied smoky make-up and sparkling jewelry, and headed for the door. There was one place she could always go when she felt trapped or depressed, and she knew she would be welcomed there with open arms and no particular expectations.
It was exactly what she needed tonight.
She parked between two pick-ups outside a rustic looking establishment on the outskirts of Little Rock. Being a late summer evening, it was still light at nearly 8:00 p.m., but even in the dark she didn’t worry about entering this place alone. She spent a lot of time here, and she knew she always had an escort if she wanted one. This was where she had come when she’d needed a temporary escape from the stress of pretending to be involved with Brian, when she’d twice managed to elude his security guards for a few precious hours to herself. Several other patrons were in the parking lot, a few leaving, most just arriving. She nodded to the ones she knew and a few that she didn’t. It was that sort of place--impersonally friendly.
Inside, the lights were bright and the noise earsplitting. The décor was a cheerfully chaotic mixture of western and primitive--wooden floors, numerous wall-mounted shelves holding pottery, antique tools and dishes, and a clutter of other curiosa, mirrors framed in ox yokes and barbed wire. Patrons sat on stools at the long bar at the back of the room or at the many tables and booths scattered in the big, open dining space. At the far side of the room was a small stage where a band performed a loud mix of rock oldies and contemporary country hits. Through a big arched opening another room was visible, that one filled with pool tables and pinball machines.
The place was packed on this Friday night, as it usually was on weekends. The clientele here was rowdy, blue collar and proud of it. Genae felt right at home.
Curvaceous young women in tight t-shirts and tighter jeans moved among the tables carrying trays and taking orders. One of them spotted Genae and grinned broadly, her bleach blonde hair shining almost blindingly in the overhead lighting. “Hey, Sassy!” she called out. “You want a beer?”
“Sure.” Genae moved toward the bar, where she smiled at the burly bartender. “Hey, Joe.”
“Hey there, beautiful. Glad you could make it tonight. You gonna sing for us?”
“I might. First I want to play some pool.”
Joe nodded knowingly. “Stump’s back there. I bet he’ll take you on.”
She smiled and accepted a mug from him. “Thanks. Run a tab for me. I’ll find Stump.”
“It ain’t like he’s easy to miss,” Joe called after her, laughing heartily at his own wit.
Stump was definitely hard to miss, Genae mused as she entered the game room where a six-foot-six, three-hundred-pound former linebacker loomed beside a table, a cue stick in one ham-sized hand. He wore a faded, camouflage-patterned t-shirt that shrunk a couple of sizes in the wash, and a pair of jeans that dipped low enough to reveal a bit too much when he leaned over the table to make a shot.
Genae didn’t bother to modestly look away. She’d seen that particular view on more than one occasion.
She waited until he’d completed his shot, winning the game, before he spoke. “Hey, Stump.”
Having gloated his soundly defeated opponent, Stump turned with a broad grin splitting his ruddy face, “Hey, Sassy. Ain’t you pretty tonight?”
She lifted her face for his smacking kiss. “Thanks, Stump.”
“Hey, what’s the matter?” He searched her face with eyes that were much more perceptive than his appearance might have implied. “You okay?”
Her lower lip quivered just a little before she could stop it. “I guess you could say I’m suffering from a broken heart. I need some pool, some music...friendship...to console myself.”
She tried to speak lightly, to downplay her pain, but she must not have done a very good job.
Stump’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “Who’s the jerk that hurt you, Sassy? It ain’t that wannabe cowboy again, is it?”
She shook her head. “No. I got over Kalob long ago. This was someone else. Another foolish mistake on my part.”
“Me and Paul will go have a little chat with the jerk, won’t we, Paul?”
The skeletally thin cowboy who had just been soundly defeated at pool nodded enthusiastically. “We can take him.”
Genae smiled and shook her head. “Never mind. How about a game, instead?”
Taking her hint to drop the subject, Stump shook his head. “You got your heart broken and now you want me to stomp on your pride?”
She reached for Paul’s pool cue. “We’ll just see whose pride gets stomped, won’t we?”
Stump slapped his friend on the back hard enough to rattle Paul’s prominent bones. “Rack ‘em up. I gotta give this sassy little lady a lesson in humility.”
Rolling her eyes in response to the over-the-top drawl, Genae picked up a square of cue chalk and prepared to forget her troubles for just a few hours.
She hadn’t realized that trouble had followed close on her heels.
Brian looked around curiously as he entered the restaurant/bar he’d been directed to by the bodyguard who had been assigned to discreetly follow Genae that evening. Funny. As well as Brian knew Little Rock, he’d never even known this place was here.
A busty brunette greeted him with a flirty smile. “Well, hello. I haven’t seen you here before.”
Brian gave her one of the smiles that rarely failed to achieve the results he wanted. “I haven’t been here before. Looks like a great place.”
Raising her voice to be heard over the sound of the band, she replied, “It can be, when things really get going. You want a table?”
“Actually I’m looking for someone. Genae Landon. Do you know her?”
The woman frowned a bit and shook her head. “I don’t think so. Maybe she isn’t here yet?”
According to the employee who had called him, Genae had entered this establishment just over half an hour ago. Brian shook his head. “I’ll just look around for her, if you don’t mind.”
The woman shrugged. “Help yourself. You can order at the bar, and if you decide you want a table, just give me a sign. There’s pool in the back room if you’re in the mood for a game.”
“Thanks.”
She nodded and moved away in response to a summon from a table crowded with three thirty-something couples who looked ready to place their orders. Not wanting to look more conspicuous than he already did in his pressed khakis and neat, buttercup yellow polo shirt, Brian moved to the bar, where he ordered a beer from an almost stereotypically jolly bartender and perched on a stool to survey the crowded room. He didn’t usually drink domestic beer, but that seemed to be the beverage of choice here. Had he been warned what the place was like, he’d have changed into jeans and an old t-shirt before coming.
He didn’t spot Genae among the diners or the few dancers crowding a postage-stamp-size dance floor. He couldn’t see into the other room from this angle; was it possible that she hustled pool in her spare time? At this point, nothing would surprise him.
Carrying his barely touched beer, he made his way across the room to the archway. A few women blatantly checked him out, sending him inviting smiles that he pretended not to see. Some of them were old enough to be his mother, others damn near young enough to be his daughter.
Where the hell was Genae?
He spotted her the minute he paused in the game room doorway. She was bent over a pool table, her short skirt just this side of decent as she expertly lined up a difficult shot with her pool cue. Half a dozen men stood around her, watching--no surprise, he thought with a scowl. She seemed to be pitting her skills against a man who was roughly the size of a redwood tree--he was even dressed in a foliage-print shirt.
With a sharp crack, her cue ball hit its target, and her audience cheered, sloshing beer and slapping each other on the backs.
“Damn,” her oversized opponent growled, shaking his head. And then he grinned and pulled Genae into an enthusiastic, one-armed hug that must surely have left a few bruises on her tender skin. “You are one hell of a pool player, Sassy.”
Sassy? Wasn’t that the name her father had called her when she’d rebelled as a child? Brian stared at her as she grinned up at the big man who held her. “Thanks, Stump,” she said. “But then, you taught me nearly everything I know.”
“That I did, kid,” he agreed, planting a smacking kiss on her nose before he set her back on her feet.
A man in a black and red Western shirt, so thin he almost rattled when he moved, stepped out of the group of watchers. “Play me next, Sass! I’m tired of getting beat by Stump. It’d be nice to be beat by someone prettier this time.”
“Give me a minute to finish my drink, Paul,” she replied, reaching for a half-filled mug sitting on a convenient ledge behind her. “Playing Stump always makes me thirsty.”
Brian moved swiftly, the mug in his free hand before her fingers closed around it. She turned in question, and her face went pale as her eyes widened almost comically.
“I believe this is yours?” he asked silkily, holding her mug out to her.
“What are you--how did you--you followed me here, didn’t you?!” she sputtered, her face suddenly flooding with vivid color.
“Well, to be accurate, I had you followed. Interesting place. Come here often?”
“Go away,” she ordered him, more desperation than anger in her voice now.
The huge man who’d hugged her moved close behind her, looking mean enough to intimidate a tank. “Is this the guy, Sassy? The one who broke your heart?”
Brian figured there was a very good chance that he was about to die. But he found some solace in the other man’s words. “She told you I broke her heart?”
“What makes you think I was talking about you?" Genae asked with a toss of her curled hair.
He smiled, “Darling, I know you were.”
Stump moved another step closer, and Brian could have almost sworn he felt the floor tremble just a bit beneath his feet. “Me and the guys here don’t like it when people hurt our friends, do we, boys?"
“No, we don’t,” Skinny Paul stood with his feet spread and arms akimbo to his nonexistent hips, trying to look as fearsome as his large buddy. “What did he do to you, Sassy?”
“He asked me to marry him,” she snapped, still glaring at Brian.
That was obviously not the response they’d been expecting. The men looked at each other and then at Genae. “Um...?”
“He asked my sister first.”
Half a dozen heads nodded in sudden understanding. “That was just stupid,” someone said.
Brian sighed. “Yes, I know. I made a mistake, okay? I was looking for the sort of woman who would have been completely and totally wrong for me. I know that now.”
“Anybody would be a moron not to want to marry Sassy,” an older man with a grizzled beard and a kindly smile offered from the other side of the room. “I’ve asked her myself about a dozen times, but she always says no.”
“Maybe ‘cause you already got a wife, Ernie?” Paul inquired.
The bearded man sighed. “I like to think that’s the only reason she turned me down,” he acknowledged.
“You don’t want to marry me,” Genae told Brian fiercely, green eyes unnaturally bright. “I’m all wrong for you. I don’t fit in with your fancy friends and your elegant parties. This is where I’m happiest.”
“Then we’ll spend lots of time here and avoid as many of those fancy parties as we can,” he assured her, loving her more every minute. “Personally I think you fit in quite nicely wherever you are. I, on the other hand, might have some adjustments to make. Stump, do you know where I can get one of those camo shirts?”
“I got mine at Wal-Mart,” the big man volunteered.
Paul sighed in disgust. “It was a rhetorical question, Stump. Be quiet and let the man finish begging.”
“I will beg, you know,” Brian said softly, still holding Genae’s gaze with his own. “I’ve never begged anyone for anything--I’ve never had to, nor wanted to--but I will this time. Nothing else has ever mattered this much to me.”
“I dunno, Genae. I think he’s serious,” Stump said in a stage whisper. “Did he beg your sister, you think?”
“She knows I didn’t,” Brian said flatly, setting both mugs on the ledge. “She knows full well that it never got that far between her sister and I--and that it never would have. Raylene and I knew we were wrong for each other even before we finally put it into words. She was in love with my best friend. And I was in love with Genae.”
The men looked confused again. Genae nearly choked. “You weren’t in love with me!”
“I think I’ve been in love with you for months,” Brian countered. “But, as both you and my friend Jason pointed out, I was too stupid and arrogant to realize it. And, besides, you said you hated me when we first met, remember?”
“I did hate you--I still do,” she added recklessly.
Stump shook his head and patted her on the shoulder, the friendly gesture nearly knocking her off balance. “Now, Sassy, you know you don’t mean that. He couldn’t have broke your heart if you hated him.”
“He has a point there,” Brian suggested hopefully. “Obviously a very intelligent and insightful man.”
Stump nodded amenably.
“I love you, Genae,” Brian repeated, moving so close to her that the others would have had to strain to hear his words above the background noises--and most of them seemed to be trying.
He watched her swallow, watched her eyes flood with tears. “I--”
“Sassy, come sing for us,” the waitress who’d told Brian she’d never heard of anyone named Genae Landon called out from the doorway. “The band’s all ready for you.”
Genae look dismayed. “Oh, no, I can’t--”
From the other room, a chorus of voices whistled and shouted.
She looked helplessly at Brian. “I--”
He leaned over to kiss her softly, then drew back. “Sing for us...Sassy. We all want to hear you.”
She moistened her lips, then turned and fled.
Genae was wondering if there was any chance that she was dreaming. Things like this just didn’t happen to her in real life.
Had Brian really followed her? Had he really just told her he loved her in front of a game room full of men? Had he really said he was willing to beg, if necessary? The thought of Brian Littrell begging for anything was enough in itself to boggle her mind.
She wasn’t sure she’d be able to sing a note, but she was almost dragged onto the stage before she could pull herself together enough to protest. She was welcomed warmly by the band--the same ones who had performed at her sister’s wedding. Their old school friend, Jack, the lead singer for the increasingly popular band, smiled at her and handed her the mic. “What do you wanna sing, Genae?” He asked, the only one there other than the band members and Brian who even knew her real name.
“I, uh..." her mind was blank.
“How about ‘Down at the Twist and Shout?’”
“Yeah...that’ll be fine.” She cleared her throat and somehow found the mental resources to launch into the rollicking number made famous by country singer Mary Chapin Carpenter.
Brian was sitting at the table with Stump and Paul now, looking like one of their lifelong pals, which only added to the air of unreality that accompanied her performance. He was grinning and lounging with the ease of a man in his natural environment. Even here, all he had to do was walk in and he had a dozen new best friends, she thought in resignation.
Thundering applause followed the last note of her song, and while she enjoyed the ovation, she was well aware that generous mugs of beer fueled the enthusiasm for her singing. Brian was on his feet, clapping and whistling and generally making a fool of himself. She sent him a repressive frown and automatically followed along when the band began the next number, “It’s a Little Too Late.”
This was the music she truly enjoyed singing. Hard rocking tunes or foot tapping contemporary country. She loved bopping with the band, holding the microphone, hearing the audience cheering and clapping along. This was when she flew, free of the restraints of her everyday life. Jack sang backup for her; the leaned toward each other as they harmonized the lyrics about being up all night wondering what to do--and then acknowledging that it was “a little too late” to do the right thing and walk away.
A little too late to turn her heart around, she sang--and realized that the words were absolutely true. It was entirely too late for her to stop loving Brian. Entirely too late to do the right thing and forget about him.
She’d given him his chance. Now he was stuck with her. And he better not change his mind this time, she thought as she finished the song and watched him cheer again with his newfound buddies. She couldn’t help smiling as Stump slapped him on the back so hard Brian nearly tumbled flat on his face.
She turned to her friend and whispered into his ear. And then, while he talked to the band, she spoke into the microphone. “I would like to dedicate my final number to someone who’s waiting for an answer from me,” she said, looking directly at Brian. “I hope you find it in this song.”
The band played the opening notes to a blatantly romantic song made famous by an incongruously violent movie. First recorded by Trisha Yearwood, it was entitled “How Do I Live?” The lyrics asked how she could live if the man she loved left her life, taking with him everything that mattered to her. Without him there would be no joy, no sunshine--no love, she crooned.
She had previously considered the song a bit too syrupy, too dramatic. She sang it occasionally only because the band liked playing it for her. Now she sang it because she meant it. Maybe she could live without Brian--but she had discovered during the past few days that she really didn’t want to.
The applause was a bit more muted when she finally finished the number--or maybe she had just tuned out everyone but Brian, who was standing across the room, watching her without taking his eyes from her face. She handed the microphone to Jack and stepped off the stage, murmuring incoherent responses to the compliments she received as she crossed the room.
She stopped in front of Brian and gazed up at him fiercely. “Well?”
“I can’t live without you, either, Genae,” he said simply. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” she murmured. “And if you change your mind, I swear I’ll...I’ll...”
“I’ll take care of him for you if that happens,” Stump offered, shamelessly eavesdropping.
“There you go,” Brian told her with a grin. “I have no choice but to love you for the rest of my life.”
“No,” she said, grabbing his shirt and pulling him toward her. “You don’t.”
She kissed him right there in front of the entire room full of people, sealing the deal.
“YEEEEEEHAW!” Stump shouted, waving an arm in the air. “Sassy’s done got herself engaged. Drinks all around to celebrate--and the rich guy’s paying,” he added, thumping Brian on the back.
Brian seemed delighted to oblige--or maybe was just scared not to, Genae thought with a happy laugh. She couldn’t really blame him.
“Gen?”
Arching into Brian’s lazily stroking hand on her bare, damp back, Genae responded without opening her eyes. She didn’t have the energy to do so. “Mmm?”
“How did you find that place, anyway?”
She smiled against his bare chest, her own hand making a leisurely foray down his hip. “I used to go there with Kalob. When we broke up, I got custody of the hangout and our friends there. Kalob quit showing up there when Stump threatened to use him for a pool cue.”
Brian chuckled. “Remind me never to get on his bad side.”
“No problem. By the time we left tonight, he was ready to marry you, himself.”
Laughing, Brian pulled her more snugly into his arms, nuzzling her temple. “Why didn’t you ever take me there before?”
She opened her eyes to look somberly at him. “I didn’t think you would be interested. And I didn’t want to face memories of you in the last place in my life you hadn’t touched. I thought it would hurt too much when you were gone.”
He shook his head. “You had so little faith in me.”
“Can you blame me?”
“No,” he said with a sigh. “Jason helped me understand why you found it hard to trust me at first. You do believe me now that I never loved Raye, don’t you? I only kissed her a couple of times, and I always had the unsettling feeling that I was kissing a cousin or sister. It never would have gone any further, no matter what I thought at the time.”
“I know. I can’t blame you for wanting to love her, though. Raylene is very special.”
“Raye is no more special than you are,” he said firmly. “I don’t know where you got a different idea, but it’s wrong.”
She smiled and kissed him lightly. “Thank you. And I do believe you, by the way. I’m not jealous of you and Raylene. I know you never cared about her this way. You never pretended to love her. And you aren’t pretending to love me. You really do, Heaven help you.”
He grinned and settled her comfortably on top of him. “I really do.”
She was already making some experimental moves--maybe she had a little energy left, after all--when he spoke again, “Genae?”
Looking up from the skin of his chest where she’d been lavishing attention with her lips and she asked distractedly, “Hmmm?”
“Do you want to sing? Professionally? Because if you do...”
“You would arrange it for me,” she finished, shaking her head. “I don’t want to sing professionally, Brian. I’m a shopkeeper who likes to sing as an occasional sideline. Maybe I’ll sing more often now that you’ve unmasked me, as it was, but I have no desire to tour or spend hours in a recording studio or anything like that--even if I were good enough to make it in that cutthroat business, which I doubt.”
He looked as though he would have argued that point, but she didn’t give him the chance.
“We’ll make our adventures together,” she assured him. “I think you’re going to find it as challenging to be married to me as I will to be Brian Littrell’s wife. Because I’m not going to change who I am--I couldn’t change even if I wanted to. But I think we’re up to the test.”
His hands moved eagerly on her, drawing her back down to him. “I’m definitely up to it,” he assured her.
She smiled against his lips. Somehow, she thought that old familiar trapped feeling was gone for good. Brian had freed her from her “cage”. Just as she had freed him from the baggage he had carried from his own past, the fears and insecurities he hadn’t realized he had when it came to love.
It was going to be a very interesting ride, she decided happily, but she had no doubts it’d last a lifetime.
