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One afternoon, shortly after Nick had moved into A.J.’s house, he was staring at his reflection in the mirror and he didn’t like what he was seeing. The weight loss was a nice side effect at first, but now he could count his ribs. The bags under his eyes never disappeared, not even after over 10 hours of sleep. As he let out a big sigh, he turned around and walked over to the living room, where he found his friend on the couch, talking to someone on the phone. “Hmm.. no, he’s not -..” he stopped as he noticed Nick walking in. “No, he’s just a bit crazy in the head, Rok... Yeah, I told him he shouldn’t buy the place... True, but I’ve gotta go, Bri. Later!!” He closed his phone and looked at Nick. “So, how are you feeling, Nicky boy?”
“You didn’t have to change the subject, Jay.” Nick rolled his eyes at his friend. He may not always be the smartest one, but he knew that the guys called at least twice a day to check on him, even when they had been over earlier that day. “I figured you were talking about me, just don’t try to cover it up, alright. And I still feel like shit.”
“You look like shit too.” He shrugged, deciding not to admit the fact Brian called to talk about Nick’s condition. They all worried about their youngest friend. The chemo made it hard for him to keep any food down, so he continued to lose weight, making him look more like a shadow than the strong young man he once was. He snapped out of his thoughts when Nick poked him in the side.

“Jay! Please tell me you were not daydreaming about us making out again, cause that is NEVER gonna happen.” He grinned. “Ewww.. Great, now I have that image stuck in my head again. Thanks Kaos.. really, I did NOT need that..” he hit Nick over head, accidentally causing his cap to fall on the floor. “Sorry..” he whispered. Nick was very sensitive about the whole hairloss thing, feeling that made it really, really clear what was going on. Sometimes he managed to forget about the sickness, but then he looked in a mirror, and the cap made him realise the mess he was in. A.J. watched Nick’s eyes lose their sparkle as he stared at the one thing that sometimes made him forget reality, but at other times made it again perfectly clear. “It’s okay, Alex. It’s okay.” He whispered as he sadly smiled.
“No, it’s not. Sorry, I didn’t mean to..” He put an arm around his friend, trying to think of a way to lighten up the spirit.

“It’s okay, really. Can you do me a favor?” Nick asked as he cocked his head.
“Ehm.. sure bud.. Shoot!”
“Can you help me to..” his voice trailed off, thinking about the decision he made earlier.
“Nick?” A.J. asked as he gently shook him. “With what do you need my help?”
The youngest closed his eyes for a second, trying to find the courage to actually say it, but he couldn’t. The thought alone made him sick to his stomach, so he tried showing him with his hands, as he faked the movements in the air.
“I don’t understand, buddy.” A.J. replied. “Tell me..”
Great, Nick thought. Usually he was like an open book to his friend and now he needed him to read his mind, he couldn’t, or maybe didn’t want to. “Would you.. please.. help me to..Geez, Nick get a grip.” He grunted. A.J. didn’t know how to respond, for he didn’t know the things that were going through the other one’s mind. He could tell that now was not the time for joking around, so he just sat there, waiting for Nick to open up to him.
“Will you please shave off the hair I have left?” he managed to whisper as one tear made its way down his left cheek. The image broke A.J.’s heart, feeling Nicks pain, he pulled him into a hug. It took him a while to respond, as the lump in his throat made it impossible for him to speak. “I will..” he whispered, as he rubbed the young one’s back, who was now crying softly.

The last few weeks, he never complained about the chemo, the side effects, the nausea that always plagued him, the lack of sleep caused by throwing up all night, the way he saw his health fade away. He never cried in front of his friends, not wanting to make the situation even more difficult to handle. But now, he could no longer hold it in. He felt defeated, even though the fight wasn’t over yet. Still, he felt like he had lost.

“Do you want me to do it now?” the eldest said, as he let go of Nick and looked him straight in his weary eyes as he nodded and got up slowly. A.J. followed his example, putting an arm around Nick’s back as he supported him while walking to the bathroom. “You know, we don’t have to do it in here, with the mirror and all.” A.J. said as they walked in.
“We do. I need to see it.” Nick pleaded with his eyes, in which tears were welling up for the second time that afternoon. “Please Jay..” The other man simply nodded as he walked out of the room, only to come back a few seconds later with a comfortable chair for Nick to sit in.

A few minutes later, A.J. had everything he needed to complete the most difficult task in quite some time. As he stood behind him, he placed his hands on Nick’s shoulders. “Are you sure you want to do this here?”, he asked as he looked at him in the mirror. The younger one simply nodded, not able to say a word. A.J. flipped on the water and as it was filling the sink, he checked to see if the temperature was right. When it was, he took a washcloth and dipped it in the water. He took a deep breath as he looked at Nick. “Ready?”
“No, but just do it..” the young one replied, closing his eyes for a second when his friend gently rubbed his head with the wet washcloth.

The deed took AJ only about 10 minutes to accomplish, Nick already having lost most of his hair. Nick's eyes were shut the entire time, his hands balled into fists as he fought to control his emotions. It was only hair. He had been bald before, what was the big deal? But last time it had been by choice. His thoughts were whispering to him. This wasn't.

"Nicky? I'm done." AJ's raspy voice pulled him from his thoughts and he hesitantly peeked his eyes open, slowly looking into the mirror. Rising to his feet, he moved forward, leaning on the sink as he examined himself. "You okay buddy?" A small smile graced Nick's features and he choked down the lump in his throat, nodding slowly.
"Not bleeding or anything. I'm impressed." He cracked, facing his older friend. "That's more than I expected from you Jay." AJ rolled his eyes, giving Nick a playful wack on his shoulder. "Very funny." The ringing of the doorbell caused the smile to slip from AJ's face and he let out a long sigh. "I'll be right back." Nick simply nodded, watching the older man leave the bathroom before turning his eyes back to the mirror.