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AJ sat curled up in a large, plush, navy blue recliner stationed in the far corner of the spacious bedroom. Hidden in the shadows, there was no need for sunglasses or a hat, his expressions unreadable; masked by the darkness cast upon him. Brown eyes stared intently straight ahead, practically unwavering as they watched the object placed before them with rapt attention. Silence overwhelmed the room, broken only occasionally by lights coughs erupting from Nick who lay tucked in between the light blue sheets, sound asleep. The youth would toss and turn every so often, mumbled pleas falling away from his lips when he found himself trapped in a nightmare, inner demons threatening to break his weakend resolve and pry him from the soothing arms of slumber. It was when this would occur, that AJ would quietly slip from his seat, walking over to the bed and perching his narrow frame next to Nick's sleeping form. Reaching out a hand, he would gently stroke the younger man's back, soothing words being whispered until Nick would fall silent, his breathing heavy and ensuring the rebel that he had escaped his dreams for another night. Only then would AJ return to his position, watching his younger brother sleep from a distance.

It was a routine AJ had established not long after Nick had moved in with him and he had discovered the youth's battle with his dreams. The older man helped when he could, knowing well enough the times to leave Nick alone to fight his own battles. He tried to make sure Nick never saw him, unsure of how the younger man would react if he did. The rebel's behavior was uncharacteristic, showcasing a side of him that many were not privy to. An attitude that displayed his compassion, protection and love for his younger brother and a role that AJ fulfilled with all his being; frightened that if he didn't now, he may never get the chance to down the road.

The comfort ran two ways, however, and there were many nights, such as tonight, where watching Nick sleep brought reassurance to the rebel. Although he would never actually admit to the others how scared he was of losing Nick, there were times where the fear of losing his younger friend wrapped AJ up so tightly he found himself almost unable to breathe. And during those moments, he would soundlessly slip into Nick's room, an air of calmness rushing over him as he would simply sit and watch Nick sleep. The comfort brought forth by seeing the gentle rise and fall of the youth's chest while he slept astounded AJ during the times he really thought about it, floored by the fact that he sought refuge in something so simple, so basic. But he always reminded himself how much the times had changed. AJ no longer took anything for granted.

Tonight, he found himself unable to shake the uneasiness that had settled in the pit of his stomach, the sinking sensation that burst forth everytime someone had mentioned this new doctor for Nick. While AJ was ecstatic over the idea of finding a cure for Nick, he couldn't help but think they were just setting themselves up for another big disappointment. What exactly made this doctor so different from all the others? They had failed at finding someone to help the youth at least a dozen times already, could they really handle another failure? Kevin's information hadn't provided him with much solace, the eldest having little details on the treatment or the doctor. What if nothing worked? Could Nick hadle another let down? AJ knew as much as Nick showcased his stronger side, that the younger man was growing increasingly tired of fighting. He had expressed his doubts many times to AJ in the past months, unsure of why he was still trying to prevent what now seemed inevitable.

Most of the time, the older man found himself at a loss for words, unsure of what to tell his younger bandmate. Why WAS Nick still fighting? For himself? For them? For the fans? For who? It didn't seem fair anymore; to Nick or to any of them. This was breaking them all down, piece by piece and with each passing day, AJ found himself wondering if they'd all make it through, despite Nick's outcome. Letting out a small sigh, AJ shook his head, trying to clear the present thoughts from his mind. Squinting at his watch, he got to his feet as he stretched, realizing he should head back to the rest of his friends. Making his way to the door, he pulled it open slowly, glancing at Nick for a second and sighing again before shutting the door behind him and walking to the living room where he found Kevin, Howie and Brian all scattered amongst the furniture. The light tapping of the rain against the house and the slow crackling of the fire seemingly echoing throughout the quiet room.

"Hey fellas."
"Hey." Howie was the only one who looked up, Kevin flipping idly through a magazine and Brian messing with his cell phone. "We made java, hope you don't mind." The Latino smiled, gesturing to his cup of coffee before blowing on it softly and taking a sip.
"Since when do I ever?" AJ shrugged, falling onto the couch, across from Kevin. "What have you all been up to?"
"Waiting for you." Kevin replied lowly, his face still hidden behind the magazine. "Where have you been?"
"In my study." AJ replied with a small sigh. "I was working on a song." The answer was a lie but AJ had become accustomed to lying to his friends about the time he spent with Nick. The rebel's softer side was something he preferred to keep to himself.
"Where's Frack?" Brian asked softly, shoving his cell phone into his pocket and glancing over at AJ.
"He's in his room, sleeping."
"Is he actually alseep though?" The Kentuckian frowned. "I mean, I know he's been having trouble sleeping lately. Maybe I should go check on him."
"He's fine Rok. I just peeked in on him before I came out here." Brian nodded but still rose to his feet, dusting off his pants. "That's fine but I still would feel better if I checked on him."
"Bri," Howie sighed, setting his coffee down. "If AJ says he's okay, I'm sure he's fine. Let him sleep."
"I'm not gonna wake him up. I just wanna make sure he's okay."
"For heaven's sake Brian, sit down!" Kevin snapped, throwing the magazine onto the table as he rolled his eyes, glaring at his younger cousin. "If Bone says Nicky is fine, he's fine. I'm sure AJ would know better out of all of us anyways."

Anger and hurt flashed across Brian's face at Kevin's comment, a large frown breaking out onto his face as he slowly sunk back down into his seat. "We need to get the details for this trip planned out anyways. I-"
"What exactly do you mean by that comment Kev?"
"By WHAT comment?" The eldest muttered, trying to keep his patience in check.
"That AJ would know better than any of us about Nicky." AJ fought the urge to roll his eyes and even Howie seemed to fight off an air of exasperation. "I spend just as much time with Nick as AJ does. Why would he suddenly know more about him than I would?"
"Maybe because I'm with the kid almost 24/7?" AJ answered, giving up the fight and rolling his eyes. "Or maybe because I've seen him at his worst moments and his weakest times?"
"So have I!" Brian protested angrily. "I've been there EVERY step of the way! No less than you have!"
"You're blowing things out of proportion Brian." Kevin stated, rising to his feet and shoving his hands deep into his pocket as he looked at the younger man. "We have more important things to discuss."

"This IS important! I'm Nick's BEST FRIEND! Why is AJ suddenly all wise and mighty when it comes to him?"
"Would you just DROP IT?!" AJ snapped, sitting forward as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Jesus, FUCKING christ Brian! Who gives a damn? I'm SICK and TIRED of you treating Nick like he's some fucking prize the two of us are competing over! Grow the hell up!"
"I do NOT-"
"Like hell you don't! The younger man exclaimed. "Or why else would you throw a fit over what Kevin said?"
"I'm his BEST FRIEND! I care about him just as much as YOU do!" The Kentuckian yelled, his face red with anger.
"No one doubts how much you care about Nicky, Brian." Howie expressed with a small smile. "We all know how much he means to you."
"Then why-"
"That's IT!" Kevin yelled, shaking his head as he threw his arms out. "No! Brian, shut-up!" He directed when Brian opened his mouth to speak again. "Now listen to me-"
"This isn't a fucking contest Littrell." AJ interjected, glaring at the older man. "Get your head out of your fucking ass and open up your eyes."
"AJ, keep your mouth shut."
"No! Fuck you Kevin! This is between your cousin and I." His gaze traveled back to Brian and he took in a small breath. "I'm NOT competing with you for Nick. I don't give a damn how much time you spend with him. You're NOT here all the time. Think whatever the hell you want Brian but you have NOT seen him at his weakest moments. You haven't seen him at his worst-"
"How the hell would you know-"
"Did I fucking look like I was finished talking?"
"Did I look like I cared?" Brian shot, rolling his eyes as he got to his feet. AJ got up from his seat as well, both men standing in front of one another, eyes blazing.
"You're treading on dangerous turf Littrell." The rebel almost growled, his fists balled at his sides. "Back the fuck off."
"Watch it AJ," The older man hissed, "I'm not about to take this all to stride."
"You don't even know what you're talking about."
"And you do?"

"Guys knock it off!" Howie demanded, standing up and placing himself between his two friends. He gave AJ a small shove back and then Brian. "Do you guys even hear yourselves? This is so stupid! You're fighting over who cares about Nick more!"
"No, Brian is fighting about who cares about Nick more." AJ corrected with a roll of his eyes as he took a step back. "All I'm trying to do is make him take his fat head out of his ass."
"Screw you McLean."
"Bite me."
"That's ENOUGH." Kevin snapped, "This is fucking ridiculous. And it's ending right NOW."
"Tell that to your cousin."
"AJ if you even open your mouth again, so help me god I'll kick your ass."
"Whaaaaaatever." The younger man shrugged, sitting down with a huff.
"I just wanted to-"
"The same goes for your Brian." Kevin muttered. "Drop it. NOW." Brian rolled his eyes as he retreated back to his seat, plopping down with a scowl. "You blew this whole thing out of the water and it's comepletely unecessary. Get a fucking grip." Running a hand through his hair, Kevin tugged on it for a moment before taking a deep breath. "What we should be talking about, is this trip to see this doctor."
"Which I was all for until a certain asshole opened his big-"
"SHUT IT AJ!"
"Jay, just keep your mouth shut, would you?" The Latino pleaded, sitting down next to his younger friend. "You're gonna make Kev kill you."
"Okay. Okay." Aj relented, putting his hands up in a 'meant no harm' gesture. "I'm shutting up now."
"Alright look, as we talked about before, I don't really have a lot of information on this whole deal. The point of the trip over to Holland is to see what this person can do for Nicky."

"And if they can't do anything?" Howie shot AJ a look who shrugged his shoulders. "Look, I'm not trying to be pessimistic, but I've been thinking fellas. I mean, what makes this doctor different from the other hundreds we've tried?"
"That's why we're going." Kevin sighed, "To find out."
"But wouldn't it just be easier to talk to them first?" Brian put in, "I mean, I've actually been thinking the same thing. What if this is just a big wash?"
"Exactly." The rebel nodded. "I don't know if Nick could handle another let down."
"I don't know if any of us can." Howie breathed, shutting his eyes for a moment.
"We have to try." The eldest whispered, his voice shaky. "We HAVE to."
"It's not that I don't want to Kev, I'm just....skeptical, I guess."
"It doesn't matter AJ." Kevin shook his head. "We have to make an effort to try and get him better. That's all there is to it. I've made flight plans for the five of us to fly out the day after tomorrow. We're set to be there for a week, longer if needed."
"The five of us?" Brian echoed. "All of us are going? I thought just you and Nicky were going."
"Why would just Nick and I go?" Kevin frowned. "I figured everyone would want to come."
"What about Kris, Leigh and Baylee?"
"Brian, what about them?"
"I just thought...I mean, how come you didn't book them tickets too?"
"Uh, maybe because there's no need for them to come?" AJ tried, his anger flaring back up again.
"Watch it there AJ, that's my family you're talking about."
"And so is Nick! God, Brian, how thick can you be tonight, huh?"
"Don't even start that bull crap with me again."
"I'll start whatever the fuck I want!"
"Brian, AJ, don't even START." Kevin warned, his eyes narrowed as he looked at the two men. "I swear to fucking god-"
"SHUT UP KEVIN!" The two men yelled in unison before beginning to fight all over again.

~~~~

Nick sat awake in the large bed, his eyes roughly shut ashe tried to block out the screaming and yelling coming from the other room. The youth had woken up to the argument almost 20 minutes earlier, listening with shame and anger as Brian and AJ fought over who cared for him more. What was he doing to his friends?

"Breaking them apart." Nick had whispered to himself, hugging his knees to his chest as he had tried his best not to cry. This wasn't the first time an argument over him had taken place and it killed Nick every time it happened. He couldn't stand seeing or hearing his friends argue over him. Couldn't take the way this was tearing everyone apart. Pushing himself out of bed, he got to his feet, swaying for a moment as dizziness threatened to pull him down. Letting loose a deep breath, he continued to move across the room, soon exiting it and coming to a stop in the doorway of the living room. All four of his brothers were on their feet, each of them yelling. Brian and AJ looked livid as they screamed at one another, Kevin and Howie surrounding them and yelling just as loud.

"Stop it." Nick breathed, his voice breaking as he watched them. Clenching his eyes shut, he wished with all his might he could rewind time; take them back to a moment when none of this existed. To a place where everything was fine again and he wasn't destroying the four people he loved more than anything else in the world. "Stop it, stop it..." He chanted, his manatra growing louder each time as he pressed his hand over his ears, "Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!" The younger man's voice was feeble and low but it snapped through the room, causing all four men to lapse into immediate silence. "STOP IT! STOP FIGHTING! STOP!" Nick's last plea broke into a cough, his body shaking as he fought to contain himself.
"Look what you did!" AJ accused, shoving Brian out of the way as he ran over to Nick. "Take it easy man, just breathe. Like always, just breathe." It took Nick a moment to regain his control, taking in a shaky breath as he stood up straight, his eyes dull but angry.

"We didn't mean to wake you Frack." Brian sighed, running a hand over his face.
"Really? Because yelling tends to wake people." Nick responded with a roll of his eyes.
"Nicky-"
"It doesn't even matter Kev. I heard everything."
"Nick-"
"No. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you guys fighting."
"It was just something stupid Nick, nothing important." Howie mumbled, shaking his head. "Really."
"Like I said D, it doesn't matter."
"Why don't you sit down?" Kevin suggested, walking over to the youngest man and looping an arm around his shoulder, guiding him to the couch.
"Frack about me going with you to see this doctor," Brian started with a small sigh,
"Shut the hell up Brian."
"Frick...you don't have to come. None of you do."
"Of course we do." AJ countered, sitting down next to Nick. The youth shook his head, a small smile gracing his lips before falling away. "No, you don't. Because I've decided," Nick paused for a moment, coughing slightly before looking at each on his friends before continuing. "I've decided I'm not going."