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Nick lay awake in the large bed, his eyes roaming around the room as he watched the shadows bounce off the walls. Exhaustion seeped through him, yet he found himself unable to sleep, nervousness darting in and out of his heart, a knot forming in his stomach every time his thoughts drifted to what the next few hours would bring. Letting out a deep sigh, he turned on his side, hugging a large pillow close and he curled his body up, shutting his eyes. This was it. The youth felt as though a timer had been placed over his head, every breath he took bringing him one step closer to whatever his fate was going to be. What if this was the end? He could barely deal with waiting to find out if he could be treated...what if he couldn't be? Could he stand going to sleep every night knowing he may not wake up to see the next morning? How could he put his friends through something like that? Hadn't they already been through enough? And what about all their fans? All they knew so far was that they were taking a break due to personal reasons...what were they supposed to say?

Sighing again, Nick tried to push down the nauseous feeling that had crept up his throat, blinking his eyes open as he rolled over, his gray-blue eyes traveling over the ceiling and landing on the window.
"Of course it's raining." He breathed, listening to the gentle 'pit-pat' sound the rain made as it hit the glass. What if this was one of the last times he saw the rain fall? "STOP it." Nick hissed to himself. "It's going to be fine. Everything's gonna work out.....we've been through so much shit, we've GOT to catch a break. It's gonna be fine. Just fine." Forcing himself to push away his thoughts, he shut his eyes roughly. breathing deeply as he tried to force slumber to overtake him.

The blonde had almost drifted off to sleep when a muffled yell floated into the room, causing his eyes to snap open as he jumped in surprise.
"....COULD YOU?!"
Sitting up with a small groan, a frown fell across Nick's features as he leaned forward a bit, listening curiously.
"Kevin! Keep your voice down! What if you wake Nick up?" He heard Brian direct urgently. "And what if he isn't asleep? He doesn't need this right now!"
"...care! WHAT....THINKING?!" The younger man could only hear bits and pieces of Kevin's argument, causing a small curse to slip from Nick as he scooted towards the end of the bed in an effort to hear things more clearly, not wanting to get up. "After EVERYTHING....this bullshit? ...IN KNOWING! AJ...were you THINKING?!"
"I don't...wasn't thinking! I....SORRY! But Kev...I...NO! I walked AWAY! Come ON Kevin! ....mean ANYTHING?!" AJ was yelling in response. A confused expression drifted onto Nick's face; this wasn't working. And what the hell was going on?

Rolling his eyes, Nick pushed himself to his feet, taking in a deep breath as he felt the world tip for a moment before the feeling subsided. Grabbing one of the blankets, he wrapped it tightly around his body, pulling a chair over to the door quietly and sitting down as he pressed his ear to the door, a small smirk turning up the corners of his mouth when he found he could hear everything perfectly.
"...knows what he did was wrong. Give him a break Kevin." Howie was saying quietly. "He's under a lot of pressure-"
"We're ALL under pressure! That's no excuse!" Kevin sounded livid and Nick slowly shook his head. Shit was hitting the fan. "We have SO much crap to deal with concerning and Nick and now we have to worry about THIS?! I mean...GodDAMMIT...didn't you even stop to fucking THINK?"

"It was just a sip. I realize I fucked up Kevin but you're blowing things out of proportion. I'm not gonna start drinking again."
"We're supposed to believe THAT?" Brian's voice was incredulous and Nick felt a feeling of dread wash over him. AJ had drank. All because of him. Anger ran through his body and he shut his eyes, trying to hold back his tears. What had he done to them? Bringing his head away from the door for a moment, he sniffled, running a hand over his face as he let the guilt swirl around him. This was all his fault. His own stupidity was breaking apart the four people that meant everything to him. Taking in a shaky breath, he let his head fall gently against the door, catching part of Brian's sentence. "...ing on now is ten times more serious! How do we know you won't fall back into your old habits?" A long sigh reached the youth, "Maybe it's best if Nick move into one of our houses when we get back home. I think...I'm not sure it's best if you keep-"


"Now WAIT just ONE DAMM MINUTE!" The rebel shouted, "ONE tiny ass SIP of alcohol does NOT mean I am going to go running back to being an alcoholic! There's NO reason why I still can't take care of Nick!"
"AJ...AJ c'mon. Look, maybe Bri has a point, I mean, maybe Nicky should stay with one of us for a little bit. Give you some time to sort everything out. Maybe talk to your mom or an AA counselor." Howie suggested.
"I had ONE SIP! It means NOTHING! There's nothing to talk ABOUT!"
"Wrong. It means you can't fucking DEAL with all the shit going on now." The eldest snapped back. "Dammit AJ, we TOLD you to talk to one of us about this! Before it GOT to THIS! Now look at where you are! Retreating back to being a fucking drunk!"

"I AM NOT A DRUNK!" AJ roared and Nick jumped at the tone, slightly unnerved by the wavering he heard in his older friend's statement. "Don't YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF BEING A DRUNK!"
"Guys...guys stop! This isn't the place....dammit, Howie...help me get them out of here before they wake up Nick!" The youngest heard footstep coming towards the door and he reeled back, almost falling out of the chair in an effort to get back to the bed.
"WELL WHAT THE HELL ELSE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?!" The footsteps stopped and Nick held his breath, his eyes darting to the bed before he leaned back against the door gingerly. "Your innocent, 'I've seen the light' façade is NOT going to work this time! A DRUNK is a DRUNK!!"
"Kevin! Kev STOP! Knock it the hell off!"
"I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING FAÇADE!" Came AJ's scream and the youth heard something go crashing the floor, the sound of it breaking into a thousand pieces seemingly echoing in the room. "You FUCKIN....I...AM...NOT...A...DRUNK!!"

"THEN WHAT THE HELL ELSE ARE YOU?! When ALL you can do in a damn CRISIS is run to a goddamn bottle of Jack Daniel's?!" Kevin's voice was dripping with disdain, his pitch low and almost in a growl, his every word sending shivers down Nick's spine. "You're reaction and abilities to handle this are PATHETIC."
"I-"
"Enough! ENOUGH.....NO! Back OFF Kevin!" The younger Kentuckian shouted. "Shut it AJ! Knock it OFF! Take this into your room Kevin....NO! I said ENOUGH! Howie, get them out of here! God only knows what would happen if Nick heard all this, I mean, Jesus. I'll meet you all in a minute. I'm gonna check on him."
"Shit!" The blond hissed, launching himself away from the door and practically flinging the chair across the room as he jumped into the bed. He had just tugged the covers over his body and shut his eyes when the door opened.

"Frack?" Brian called softly. "You awake buddy?" Nick said nothing, concentrating on trying to keep his breathing regular. The older man moved slowly into the room, his sapphire gaze sweeping over the room, a small frown appearing on his face when he saw the chair crooked and almost in the middle of the room. "Nicky?" He tried again. "You sure you're not awake?"
Waiting a moment, he shrugged to himself before letting out a small sigh, backtracking out of the room and closing the door softly. Nick waited for a few minutes, his eyes clenched shut as he listened for the sound of another door shutting, signaling he was alone before a sob fell away from him and he grabbed the pillow next to him, holding it tightly as he cried into it. He had completely destroyed them. They were the only four people in the world he truly gave a damn about and he had ripped them apart. "I'm sorry," He cried, his tears falling furiously as he curled his body up. "Oh god, I'm so sorry...."

~~~~~

Nick awoke a few hours later to silence, his gaze jumping to the clock and noting that two and a half hours had passed since he had fallen asleep. Sitting up slowly, a yawn tumbled out of him and he rubbed a hand over his face before holding his head in his hands as the events from a few hours prior came rushing back to him. Taking in a deep breath, he pushed the blankets off his body, yawning again as he got to his feet. Moving over to the door, he paused for a second, listening intently as his hand fell on the door knob. Hearing nothing, he jerked the door open, finding the room almost empty, AJ sitting quietly on the couch, smoking a cigarette.

"You're not supposed to smoke in here you know." Nick said softly as he leaned against the doorway, a small smile gracing his features as AJ jumped in surprise, almost dropping the cigarette.
"Jesus!" He hissed, brushing a few fallen ashes off his shirt as he whipped around in shock. "You scared the shit out of me Carter."
"Aren't there smoke alarms in here?" The younger man directed his gaze to the ceiling before walking over to the couch and sitting down next to his older friend. "I disabled them." The rebel muttered, taking a final drag on the cigarette before putting it out.
"Isn't that illegal?" He was rewarded with a shrug and rolled his eyes.
"Sleep well?" AJ turned his head away for a moment as he blew the smoke out, plastering a smile onto his face as he faced Nick again.
"As well as can be expected considering what we're waiting for."
"That's good."

The older man reached forward, patting the youth on the knee before clicking on the TV, a brief silence falling over the two men before Nick cleared his throat.
"Um.. where is everyone else?"
"In Brian's room talking." A hint of disgust crept into AJ's voice, not going unnoticed by the younger man and Nick let out a small sigh, his eyes dropping the floor. "Hey Jay?"
"Hmmm?"
"I-I know I made you break your sobriety."
AJ's brown eyes snapped to stare at his younger friend before he dropped his head back at the words, closing his eyes as he brought a hand up, rubbing it over his mouth. So you heard all that shit earlier today?"
"Kind of impossible not to." Nick let out a weak laugh in an effort to ease the tension. "Kev can yell pretty damn loud."
"That he can." AJ nodded, sitting up and turning the television off. "Listen Nick-"
"I'm so sorry Jay. I-I never meant for any of this-"
"None of this is your fault stupid." The older man half laughed, exasperation tinting his words as he shook his head, gently cuffing Nick on the back of his own head. “C'mon man, you should know better than to blame my dumb mistakes on yourself. You didn't make me go into that bar."
"But if I had just...I mean, back when all this started...if I had only-"

"Don't go there Nick." AJ's voice was low as he shook his head again, his chocolate color gaze on the floor in front of him. "You have enough shit to worry about without piling my stupidity on top."
"But AJ-"
"I chose to walk into that bar Nick. I chose to order that drink and I CHOSE to pick it up and take a sip of it. None of that is your doing," The rebel finally turned his eyes to look at his younger friend, "Look, I know what I did was wrong. I wasn't just spouting bullshit when I told Kevin that."
"But AJ what if...what if we go to that office today and they can't help me? You know?" A loud sigh left Nick and he closed his eyes momentarily, "Then what? Can you swear you won't fall again? I mean, what if I die?"
A sarcastic laugh left AJ and he threw his hands up. "God Nick, I don't know man. I can promise you that I'll try my damndest not to. But shit...in those circumstances...fuck....I don't know Nicky. All I can say is that I'll try." He shifted around on the couch, "I really want to say that I won't but I don't know man. Honestly, I don't."
"You see?" The younger man breathed as he shook his own head. "You see what I've done?"
"You've got to stop that shit Carter." AJ sighed. "I can go down the same route with all the bullshit I put this group through with my drinking and drug using. I mean...it’s pointless Nick. All you're gonna do is drive yourself crazy wishing and dreaming you had done things differently." He let out a long breath. "What's done is done man. The past can't be changed now, so stop getting yourself all worked up over it."
"I-"
"You didn't make me drink. Nor did Kevin or Howie or Brian." Nick stayed silent, chewing on his bottom lip for a moment before nodding slowly. "So now what?"
"Dunno man."
"Well...what's up with the others?"
AJ shot him a look, a sad smile breaking out onto his face. "You heard them earlier." He shrugged, falling back against the couch. "Kevin pretty much hates me, Rok doesn't trust me and D is running back and forth between both sides." The rebel rolled his eyes dramatically as he scowled. "It's just like how it was last time."

"But you're not going to lie to us again...right?"
"Yeah Fracky, I'm not going to lie you guys again." A large grin spread across Nick's face and AJ couldn't help but smile back, grabbing him in a playful hug. "Well, at least someone doesn't hate me."
"They don't hate you AJ. They didn't hate you last time."
"Hmmffh." The older man snorted. "I beg to differ."
"Go for it. I like seeing you beg."
"Yeah. Fuck you too."
"Naw...for real! Seeing you beg is-" Nick stopped short as the door the main room flew open, watching Kevin quickly made his way in, his emerald gaze narrowing at the site of AJ.
"Nicky...you're awake."
"That I am." The youngest nodded, smiling. "What's up?"
"The-"
"Kev! There's a cab waiting downstairs with Howie. Did ya get Frack yet..." Brian trialed off as he rounded the corner into the room. "Hey Frack! You're up!"

"You guys sure are observant." Nick mumbled, getting to his feet as he felt his stomach flip. He knew what this was. It was what he had been half dreading and half looking forward to.
"What's going on?" AJ asked slowly, rising to his feet, ignoring the glare Kevin still had fixed on him.
"Um, Nick's doctor called...the tests results are ready." Despite the fact that the youth had known it was coming, he couldn't stop the wave of nauesa that washed over him, his face going pale.
"Nicky? You okay?" Kevin was asking as he half shoved AJ out of the way. "You look like you're gonna pass out."
"Hey!" The rebel snapped, a large frown appearing on his face. "Damn Kevin."
"Nick?"
"Huh? Oh...I'm fine." The youngest man slowly shook his head, plastering a shaky smile onto his face as he lightly brushed of Kevin's hands. "Let's um...let's go get those results."

~~~~~

"Hello, Dr. Schagen called us here for test results." Kevin was saying to the receptionist as the rest of the men stood silently behind him. She looked at him for a moment, cocking her head to the side and the eldest shifted uncomfortably under the gaze, wondering if she had understood him. "Dr. Schagen?" He tried again. "Um-"
"Name?" Her accent was thick as she spoke but a small sense of relief washed over the older man, thankful they didn't have to deal with a language barrier.
"Kevin Richardson." He watched as she looked down at a clipboard, slowly shaking her head.
"I have no-"
"Oh! You mean who's results? Nick...Nick Carter." Kevin smiled shakily, jerking his thumb behind him and signaling out the youth who sent the receptionist a half smile.
"Okay. Yes. Dr. Schagen is expecting him. Down the hallway, first door on the left, room 365."
"Thank you." Kevin nodded, gesturing for the others to follow.
"Excuse me?" The receptionist called after the group. "My notes indicate that Dr. Schagen only wanted Mr. Carter to see her for the time being." Nick's face went a shade paler and he gulped softly, feeling Brian's hand tighten around his arm. "I'm sure the doctor won't mind if at least one of us comes with him." Brian was objecting gently. "I mean, she hasn't cared before."

"My instructions are clear. Only Mr. Carter. The rest of you can wait here." She waved an arm out to the empty waiting room, a polite smile on her face as she shrugged.
"Are you sure-" Howie began, stopping as she shook her head firmly.
"Only Mr. Carter."
"Shit." AJ cursed, dropping his eyes to the ground. "Is this good or bad?" His question went unanswered as everyone fell silent, soon broken by Nick's gentle cough.
"I guess I better go see her." The youngest said softly, pulling his arm slowly out of Brian's grip and sending his friends a shaky smile. He was able to keep it only momentarily, nervousness wiping it away as he took in a deep breath.
"It's gonna be fine baby," Kevin forced out, trying to make his tone positive and failing miserably as he pulled Nick into a hug. "We'll be right here."
"I know." The youth found himself being engulfed by Brian, Howie and AJ as well, a real smile slipping onto his features as he shut his eyes for a moment, wishing he was anywhere but there.

Brian was the first to pull away, patting Nick gently on the back. "You shouldn't keep her waiting Frack." He sighed, "After all, the sooner you talk to her, the sooner we can start getting you better." AJ nodded at the statement. "What Rok said. Now go kid."
Taking in another deep breath, Nick nodded slowly, turning on his heel and forcing himself to walk away from his friends. His footsteps echoed in the quiet hallway as he walked, his mind whirling with a million thoughts as he found himself in front of the door much sooner than he wanted to be. The blonde felt his mouth run dry as he brought a hand up, hesitating for a second before sighing and tapping on the door.
"Yes?"
"It's um, Nick....Carter."
"Come in." The youth pushed the door open at the permission, seeing the doctor sitting behind a desk, typing quickly. "Please, take a seat." He sat down slowly, his blue eyes wide as he tried to gauge her mood, desperately trying to see if she was about to give him good news or bad. "How are you feeling Nick?" She asked, turning away from the computer and sending him a small smile. He failed to return in, shifting around uncomfortably in his seat.
"Okay, I guess."
"Well, I suppose there's no beating around the bush." Dr. Schagen sighed as she nodded slowly. “I’m sure you’re anxious to know what we found.” Grabbing a folder and placing it on her desk, she flipped it open, placing her hands palm down as he stared at him. "Okay Nick, our results show..."

~~~~

AJ felt as though he was going to go insane. He was waiting. AGAIN. Was it possible to die from anxiety? Letting out a large breath, he shifted around in his seat, his eyes darting to the hallway for what must have been the millionth time in the last half an hour. What was taking so long?

"I don't know but maybe it's a good thing they're taking so long." Brian sighed, causing AJ to frown, he hadn't even realized he had spoken the last sentence out loud. “How do you figure?"
"Well, maybe she's going over the different ways he can get treated." Howie suggested, nodding at Brian's idea. "You know?"
"I guess." The rebel shrugged, glancing at his eldest friend as he held back a large sigh. Kevin hadn’t spoken directly to him since they had finished arguing back at the hotel. Closing his eyes for a moment, AJ bit down on his lip; as important as the subject matter was, at the moment, the matter seemed so trivial compared to everything else. "Kev?"
"What?" Kevin’s voice was sharp as he spoke, his green eyes not meeting AJ’s dropped brown. "I'm sorry." The older man turned at the statement, his gaze softening slightly as he sighed himself. "I know this really isn't the time but I just want you to know...I am sorry."
"I know you are AJ." Kevin ran a hand through his hair as he nodded slowly. "I'm sorry for what I said too. It was out of line."
"No," AJ half laughed, "It wasn't. You had every right to be pissed." Bringing up a hand, he tugged on his hat. “You all did. But I swear guys,” He stopped for a moment, making eye contact with all of them before speaking. “I’m not going to go down that path again.”
“Let’s hope not.” Howie smiled weakly, laying a hand on his friend’s shoulder as he shook him softly. “Or everyone will kick your ass.”

“Nick heard the argument by the way.” The younger man revealed, sitting back heavily in his seat. Brian let out a large groan, causing AJ to shake his head. “I KNEW he wasn’t asleep when I checked on him.”
“No worries Rok. I talked to him.”
“You sure? I mean, he doesn’t blame himself?”
“He did at first bu-”
“Oh God.” Kevin’s statement cut the younger man off as he jumped to his feet, his eyes wide. Howie, AJ and Brian all followed his gaze, each of them scrambling to their feet at the sight of Nick slowly making his way down the hallway. Brian was the first to snap out of his stupor, running across the room and skidding to a halt in front of his best friend, his azure eyes as wide as they could go. He took in Nick’s disheveled appearance slowly, his heart racing as he watched the younger man cry.

“F-Frack?” He managed to get out; placing his hands on Nick’s shoulders as the youth slowly came to a stop just inside the waiting room. AJ, Howie and Kevin stood behind him, all of them holding their breaths. “Nicky…what…what did she say?”
A sob fell out of Nick as he simply continued to cry and Brian felt his heart shatter, one of his hands covering his mouth in horror. “Oh God…” He breathed, “Oh God no…”
“Nicky…you gotta tell us what the doctor said.” Kevin mumbled, feeling numb as he stared at his youngest brother. “Please…”
“S-she,” Nick choked out, his words barely audible as he spoke. “I.. s-she..o-o-oh God..
gu-guys, I…” He trailed off and shook his head, and AJ felt his heart stop. Kevin simply blinked, Howie stared and Brian burst into tears, pulling Nick into a hug as he rocked him slowly back and forth.
“No,” AJ breathed, shaking his head. “Tell me it’s not…” Nick took in a deep, shaky breath, finally raising his eyes to look at each of his friends. “Th-the doctor,” He slowly got out, moving gently out of Brian’s hug. “Sh-she s-said…”


Alright, this chapter was written by Arok Obsession, next one will be written by me.. It may take some time though, gotta figure some things out. Please review!! :)