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“That’s her,” the man pointed and motioned in the direction he was staring. “I’m gonna to be speaking with her in person soon.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” the younger man asked. “I mean, look at the security; it’s always like that…”

“Should I be bothered by that?”

“No-no sir.”

“I can find a way past them…don’t worry about that. She and I have a lot of catching up to do.”


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The thunder cracked loudly and was immediately followed by a bright streak of lightening that lit up the entire sky and even the dark room. Bianca jumped when the thunder boomed again suddenly, causing the room to shake.

“You okay?” Holly asked, helping her to a chair.

“Yeah,” she sighed.

Holly had been in New York for a few weeks and as soon as Bianca got back to the hotel after her interview, she had called Holly. Now, they were coming from the emergency room. Bianca’s cramps worsened and she began bleeding excessively; she knew what was happening, but she had to be sure.

“Can I get you anything, Bean?” Holly asked. She was worried about Bianca. She hadn’t even known about her being pregnant and now…

“I’m fine, thanks. Just having you here is a lot of help, Hol. I just want to rest a little. After being poked and prodded…I just need to relax a little. If that’s even possible.”

“Okay,” Holly nodded. “How ‘bout I make something to eat? You go take a bath and I’ll make dinner. Then we can girl talk. We haven’t done that in a while.”

“Sure,” Bianca said, forcing a smile.

Bianca got her pajamas and her cell phone and headed for the bathroom. While she ran her bath water, she dialed a number that had become very familiar to her.

“Hello?” AJ’s voice was comforting.

“AJ…”

“Hey Bean…how are you doing?” he asked quickly.

“Well, I jut got back from the emergency room,” she answered, shedding her clothing and climbing into the large tub of warm, sudsy water.

“Why? Are you okay? What happened?”

“Looks like I won’t need to make a trip out to see you.” Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and tried to think of how to tell him. Her voice sounded weak as she continued. “I had a miscarriage.”

“Oh, Bean, I’m sorry.”

“For what? I was gonna kill it anyway, right?” she sobbed, bitterly.

“No, Bean, don’t say that. You were scared. That’s understandable.”

Bianca remained silent as hot tears flowed down her cheeks. When she finally found the words to say, she told him everything that had been racing through her mind. “I just can’t help but think that I’m a terrible person for even considering an abortion. Why should I kill an innocent child that deserves to live just like you and me? Before AJ had a chance to respond, Bianca continued. “I had made up my mind to keep the baby…I guess this is my punishment for even allowing the idea cross my mind. Even if it was an accident…I guess that’s the right word…that was my baby. God, could you imagine having a little life to love and take care of?”

AJ listened as Bianca spilled her whole heart and soul out to him. She told him about everything, including her encounter with Nick. Hours later, Bianca was still sitting in the tub, but the water was now cold and the bubbles had long disappeared. “Thank you, Aje.”

“Baby, you have nothing to thank me for. I’m glad you felt like you could open up to me. I’m happy you trust me enough to share all of this with me. And you know you can call me any time you need to.”

“Okay, I might call a lot then,” she said, smiling slightly. “Bye AJ.”

Bianca climbed out of the chilly water and slipped on her pajamas. When she went to the living room, she found Holly asleep on the couch. A plate of cold, stale looking food sat on the table in front of the couch. She didn’t bother waking Holly up, she just got a blanket and draped it over her.

Before Bianca fell asleep, she said an extra prayer. “God, please forgive me for what I was gonna do to my baby. Help me to be strong…I’m not sure I can be, but I’m gonna try.”


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****TWO DAYS LATER****

“It looks like the Backstreet Boys are gonna be back on schedule tonight. They apparently had to postpone their tour for a couple of day due to illness. They said that Nick is feeling much better though,” Suchin Pak told the audience the latest news on TRL.

“You know, it’s kinda funny…”

“What’s that, Carson?”

“Bianca Parker’s tour is postponed and then, suddenly, so is the BSB tour…you thin there’s a little make up, hanky panky goin’ on?” Carson asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Nick turned the television off, ignoring the protests of the guys.

“We were watching that,” Howie said before Ivy nudged him in the ribs.

“So, Nicky…” AJ began, breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the group. “How was New York?”

Nick looked up suddenly. Everyone was staring at him expectantly, like they thought he was gonna do something spectacular. Keep staring, I might do a trick, he thought about saying. “How did you know I was in New York?”

“I heard something about a Nick Carter sighting,” the lie came out as smooth as silk. “How was the vacation? Did you have to do much pushing and shoving?” he held eye contact, giving Nick a hateful glare. “It’s not usually too bad, but I figure you with no security—yeah, lots of pushing, shoving, and fighting…just to get where ya want to be.”

Bianca told him. “It wasn’t bad at all,” Nick said, getting up.

“Where ya going Nicky?” AJ asked in a mocking tone. “We’re all eager to hear about your trip to the big city…who you saw, maybe had a run-in with…I’m dying to know.”

The room was completely quiet as Nick, eyes brimming, made his way to the door. As if he didn’t feel bad enough already, AJ had to rub salt in his wound. He should have known AJ would be the first to know about what happened. “Brian, man, come wake me up before you head to the arena for sound check. I’m not feeling that great,” he said, ignoring everyone else’s curious stares.

“What was that about?” Kevin asked, giving AJ a confused look.

“Just wanted to know how Nick’s vacation went…that’s all,” he replied nonchalantly before leaving the room as well.

“How come I feel like there’s a story being what just happened?” Brian said, shifting his gaze back and forth between Kevin and Howie.

“Because there is,” Kevin stated matter-of-factly. “And I am going to find out what it is if I have to beat it out of both of them. I’m tired of their stupid little games. We can’t keep working around the fact that the tension in the group is so thick, a five year old would notice.”

“And probably try to cut through it with their spork,” Brian added with a doofy looking grin.

“Oh, thank God I’m not the only one that noticed it,” Howie said suddenly. When he saw everyone was staring at him like he was an idiot, he began to blush. “What?”

“We knew you were slow, D, but damn,” Brian said jokingly. “Guess that’s why you’re the sweet one….takes to long to understand stuff for you to be mean.”

“Shut up,” he pouted, causing them to laugh. They laughed even harder when he childishly added, “It’s not funny.”