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It was as though time had stopped; like he was frozen in a nightmare he couldn’t get out of. He could see and hear the doctor, but he didn’t understand what was going on. How could something like this have happened? He looked around, still in a daze, at the sterile operating room. It was cold and barbaric looking. So much so that he could hardly stand it.

“I’ll leave you alone now, Mr. Dorough,” Dr. McBride said before quietly exiting the lonely operating room.

Howie stood stock still for a few minutes before he could bring himself to go over to Ivy. When he finally did, he couldn’t keep the sobs that racked his entire body; shaking him violently as all sorts of emotions coursed through his veins. Looking down at her peaceful expression, he reached out his hand and carefully touched her face. Brushing a few soft curls away from Ivy’s face, he noticed how she resembled a porcelain doll; beautiful and serene looking. “Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered, unable to keep the tears that had welled up in his eyes from spilling onto his cheeks.

Pulling a stool over to her bedside, Howie draped his right arm over her still body and closed his eyes. He wished that this was just all a bad dream that was going to end any minute, but he knew better. Taking a deep breath, he put his head on her chest. He couldn’t keep from letting his feelings out anymore and he just cried. Here he was on Christmas Eve, probably morning by now, and he’d lost the best thing that had ever happened to him. He felt like he was left with nothing at all.




Brian walked through the emergency entrance of the hospital and couldn’t help but cringe a little. The smell, if nothing else, always got to him. Looking around, he made his way over to the nurse sitting at the registration desk. “Ma’am?”

“You’ll need to see the triage nurse before registering,” she said without looking at him.

“Uh, no, I don’t need to be seen, I’m actually looking for someone,” he replied and hoped she would be more helpful. “Howie Dorough and Ivy DeMora?”

Turning to Brian, the woman gave him a skeptical look. “Do I look like a receptionist?”

“Look, I know it’s Christmas, but I have a friend that has been in an accident and I would appreciate it if you would get your head out of your ass and help me out just a little,” Brian was surprised by his own voice.

Eyes wide, the woman simply nodded and began to type something into her computer.

Hmm…I need to be more assertive, Brian thought with a small smile.

“6th floor,” she answered and pressed a button that would allow him through the doors to the emergency room.

Soon, he was walking down a long corridor going toward the elevators when he spotted Nick coming from the snack area, a Mountain Dew in his hands. “Nick, man am I glad to see you!”

“Hey,” Nick greeted unenthusiastically.

“What happened?”

Nick sighed and looked down at his shoes. How was he supposed to tell him what happened? “Howie and Ivy were shot tonight.”

“What?!” Brian cried, as fear shot through his body. “How are they?”

“Howie was hit in the shoulder and he’s okay, but Ivy was pretty bad…”

Brian could feel a heavy feeling settling in the pit of his stomach when Nick trailed off. He knew before Nick said anything. “She’s dead, isn’t she?” When Nick nodded, Brian leaned himself against the wall and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Damn it…who else knows? Please tell me the press doesn’t know…I didn’t see any camera crews or fans, but you never know. And that’s not something Howie needs right now.”

“No, I don’t think anyone knows just yet. I didn’t tell anyone over the phone,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. “AJ’s on his way. And I couldn’t get a hold of Kevin. I dunno his new number.”

“Where’s Howie?” Brian asked, concerned etched on his face.

“He’s with Ivy. Follow me.”




“Hey, Bean, we’re almost there,” AJ said, reaching over and pushing Bianca’s hair away from her face, causing her to open her eyes. It was nearly 3 am and they were driving from the airport to the hospital. They had managed to get an 11 pm flight to Orlando and they were now driving to Pierson.

“How much further?” her voice was thick with sleep.

“About ten minutes,” he said and took her hand in his. “You okay?”

Sitting up, she nodded and tired to get herself oriented. “Yeah, just really worried. I dunno…I just have this really horrible feeling that something is wrong.”

“You go that, too?” he asked.

“I dunno what it is, but I have this really unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach.”

“Well, we’ll find out soon. Maybe it’s just worrying too much and everything is fine,” AJ offered a smile and squeezed her hand. After a few minutes, he broke the silence that had fallen between them. “Hey look…we’re in Pierson…Fern capital of the world? Okay…I never knew there was a fern capital of the world.”

“Me either,” Bianca said and looked at the sign. Sure enough is was welcoming visitors to the fern capital of the world. “Hmmm…it’s the hometown of Chipper Jones…at least we know one good thing came out of this town,” she grinned.

Rolling his eyes, AJ groaned. “I think we have to go a few miles on the other side of this town before we get to the hospital, but I’m not sure. If it comes to it we’ll stop and ask for directions. I just wanna see Howie and Ivy as soon as possible.”

Gripping his hand, Bianca looked at him with desperation. “Do you think it’s bad?”

“Yeah,” he said sadly. “I do. I dunno why, but I have this nagging feeling like it’s even worse than Nick made it sound. There’s more to it than he let on.”

Turning to look out the window, Bianca saw that it had begun to rain and she couldn’t ignore the gnawing feeling inside of her. She shivered despite the heat flowing from the vents on the dash. She knew whatever they were going to find out would not be good.




Howie looked out over the dark town and couldn’t help but feel jealous of all the families that were sound asleep in their homes awaiting the morning. He was standing on the roof of the hospital, in the rain reliving the past few hours of his life. He didn’t know what to do; he felt lost. Contacting Ivy’s family would be a problem because he didn’t know anyone she was related to. She had never really talked about any relatives besides a brief mention of her mother when she was growing up. “God…why did this happen?” he whispered, looking toward to cloud covered sky.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Brian’s voice startled Howie.

Turning to look at his fellow band mate, Howie shrugged. “This isn’t the way I thought I’d be spending my Christmas, that’s for sure.”

With no hesitation, Brian engulfed Howie in a hug causing both mean to be swept over by emotion. “What happened, man?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it right now, Brian. Please…” Howie’s voice cracked with emotion. He had sworn to Andrew and Daniel that he wouldn’t tell the police it had been them, but that was before Ivy was killed. It was their fault she was dead; he couldn’t just let them get away with it. But if you turn them in, they’ll come after you, he thought to himself. He knew that’s exactly what would happen. No one else had been around to hear what happened and they would track him down just like they tracked Ivy down.

“That’s fine, man,” Brian nodded in understanding. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

Howie shook his head and turned back to look out over the small town. “No, I’m okay. Under the circumstances anyway.”

Brian turned to look at Nick who seemed to mirror the helpless expression he was wearing. He started to say something when Howie interrupted him.

“If you two don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a little while,” his voice was trembling and he could feel the tears threatening to once again break free.

“Do you think that’s such a good idea, D?” Nick spoke for the first time

He gave a short nod. “Yeah, actually, I do. I just need some time to think.”

Brian nodded to Nick and motioned toward the door. “If you need us, we’ll be in the waiting room on the 6th floor, okay?”

They watched as he gave another short nod and his shoulder began to shake as he let his emotions come pouring out into the cool, rainy night. Neither of them wanted to leave their friend alone to suffer, but they honored his request and headed for the waiting room.




Bianca and AJ sat in the waiting room, looking around at the dreary color. Letting out a sigh, Bianca looked at her watch and saw that it was nearing 4am. She was tired and beginning to feel the tale tell signs of a migraine headache. Reaching for her purse, she pulled out a prescription pill bottle and popped it open dropping a large pill into her hand.

“Headache?” AJ asked and gently brushed her hair out of her eyes. When she nodded, he handed her his bottle of water. “Do you wanna lie down?”

“No,” she said and took a sip of water to down the large horse pill. “I just wish someone would come in and tell us what the hell is going on.” She abruptly stood up and walked out of the small waiting room to the large window at the end of the hallway that was overlooking the parking lot of the hospital. AJ quickly followed her, placing his hands on her shoulder and massaging the tension away.

Closing her eyes, Bianca couldn’t help but wonder why no one had been in the waiting room. She relaxed a little and leaned back into AJ’s arms, letting him embrace her. “Where do you think they are?”

“Depends on who you’re looking for,” a new voice joined their conversation.

Bianca jerked her head around and found Brian’s amused blue eyes staring at them. “Where is everybody?”

“Howie’s on the roof and Nick had to use the little men’s room,” he answered and walked over to give her a hug. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, well, I heard that Howie and Ivy had an accident and I came with AJ,” she answered quickly. They were her friends too, why could she be here?

“I didn’t mean it like that, Bean,” Brian explained sensing her frustration. “I didn’t know you and AJ were spending Christmas together, that’s all.”

Heaving a sigh, she looked at Brian. “That’s fine, now could you please tell us what’s going on? We’ve been worried to death and you’re not making it any better by not telling us anything.”

“Well,” Brian shifted his weight, “can we sit down?”

As soon as the three of them were seated back in the bleak waiting room, Brian clasped his hands together and began twirling his thumbs. “Howie and Ivy were shot tonight and-”

“Shot,” AJ’s voice was shrill. “What the fuck do you mean they were shot?”

Brian looked up at them and his eyes were now filled with tears. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but it was bad. Howie was hit in the shoulder, but Ivy was hit in the abdomen and it was bad…” he paused for what seemed like years. “She died in surgery.”

“What?” AJ’s voice seemed an octave higher than before.

“Oh my God,” Bianca said and let AJ wrap his arms around her tightly.

“How is D?” he asked as Bianca buried her face in his shoulder. “Is he okay?”

“He said he was, but he’s not. You can tell he’s not taking it well at all, but who would be able to deal with something like this?”

“Where is he?”

“He’s on the roof, be he said he wanted to be alone,” Brian answered and watched as AJ stood up. “I don’t think he wants to see anyone…even us, man.”

“I’ve gotta go see him, Brian. He doesn’t know I’m here and I at least wanna see how he’s doing. Is that okay with you?” AJ’s voice was filled with frustration. Looking at Bianca he ran a hand through her hair. “Do you wanna come with me?”

She pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head ‘no’. “I’m gonna stay in here…my migraine isn’t getting any better.”

“Okay, baby,” he said and pressed his lips to her forehead. He directed his attention to Brian who was looking at them curiously. “You coming?” His question was met with a nod.

Bianca reached back down for her purse and got another pill, swallowing the pill down with another gulp of water from AJ’s bottle. Placing her purse under her head, she pulled her feet onto the couch and closed her eyes. She was so tired. “I’ll just close my eyes for a few minutes.”




Nick came out of the bathroom, rubbing his eyes furiously. He felt so drained and he’d only been at the hospital for a few hours. He made his way to the terrible waiting room thinking he would lie down on the couch for a few minutes. He stopped short in the doorway when he spotted the couch was occupied by a dark haired young woman.

“Okay, I’ll just take the chair,” he said to himself and spotted a wrinkled piece of paper on the floor by the couch. He bent down to pick up the paper and saw that the girls face was almost completely covered by her jacket. “Man, I wish I could sleep right now.”

Looking down at the paper, he couldn’t help but feel tempted to open it and take a quick peek. Besides, he could just put it back where he found it and she would never know. He took another quick glance at the sleeping girl and tried carefully to unfold the paper as quietly as possible. He breathed a sigh of relief when he got it open without being too noisy. He felt a brick in his stomach when he got a look at the hand writing; neat, cursive handwriting that gave away her feminine personality. The name at the top gave it all away…

AJ,

I really don’t know where to begin. I’ve been thinking a lot about the night before I left Orlando… We had a very special night together and I’m thankful that you’ve been here for me. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done; you will never know how much you’ve helped me get through these last few months. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be. For one thing, I would have done something that I would regret for the rest of my life…you stopped me. Even though I still lost my baby, it wasn’t because I decided I wanted to…and I’ve accepted that everything happens for a reason. I actually find myself genuinely smiling now and I feel so much better than I did two months ago. A simple “thank you” just doesn’t seem like it’s enough. But I guess it will have to do. I hope you know just how much I care for you.

All my love,
Bianca


Nick could feel the tears stinging his eyes, anger rising in his throat, choking him. He refused to cry. Looking back over at the couch, he saw that the jacket had fallen away from Bianca’s face and her eyes were fluttering letting him know she was about to wake up. Hearing AJ and Brian’s voices, he quickly stood up, shooting daggers at AJ.

“You,” he shouted and pointed a finger in AJ’s direction.

Bianca’s eyes flew open just in time to see Nick heading straight for AJ and she spotted the tattered piece of paper he was clutching tightly in his left hand. She didn’t have time to react before the scene played out before her.

“What?” AJ’s eyes widened as the tall blonde got closer.

“You slept with her? You slept with Bianca?” he cried before his right fist connected with a loud crack to AJ’s jaw. “You son of a bitch!”