Nick shifted uncomfortably in the chair while he waited for Dr. Santos to come into the office and discuss the results of the test he had taken at the hospital. As he looked at the diplomas that were hanging on the wall, Nick decided that this doctor was very knowledgeable as well as educated.

Rubbing the palms of his hands back and forth on the thighs of his blue jeans, he tried to get the sweat off his hands in case the doctor would want to shake hands with him. Nick noticed that his hands had been sweating a lot lately, but then again, most of his body had been sweating a lot lately too, especially at night.

“This is all probably going to be something really stupid,” Nick mumbled.

Before he had the time to get comfortable with the thought of his complaints being something relatively normal, the door to the office clicked open and Dr. Santos entered, carrying Nick’s chart and some x ray films.

“Good morning Nick,” the doctor stated as he flipped on the lights to the x ray viewing screens.

“Morning doctor.”

Nick searched the older man’s face for any signs of what the test results showed. The man had a poker face and there was no way that Nick would be able to detect any news - good or bad. Dr. Santos didn’t say a word, he silently pulled some films from the gold colored folder and snapped them onto the viewing screens. Dr. Santos then sat on the corner of his desk, facing Nick.

“Nick, I have some bad news for you,” the doctor sighed as he started out, looking at his young patient. “My assumptions were correct when I scheduled these tests. I was hoping I was wrong, but I’m sorry to say I wasn’t. The blood work, the x rays, and the ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis of a lymphoma.”

Dr. Santos stopped, watching his young patient grapple with the terms of the diagnosis. Nick’s face paled and he was visibly shaken.

“Lymphoma? Y-you mean it’s... it’s...” Nick couldn’t bring the words out.

“Cancer?”

All Nick could do was nod, not trusting his voice at the moment.

The doctor reached out and squeezed Nick’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

Nick’s eyes darted around the room, this had to be some type of sick joke that was being played on him. How could he have cancer? He was only twenty-two and still having so much fun in his life. So many things to do.

“There was one test that I really needed to specifically pinpoint the type of cancer you have, and I know you signed off not wanting to do it, but Nick, it’s really important that we have this done to make sure the cancer is only in the glands and not in the organs. I’m also going to have to schedule a lymph node biopsy too.”

The words that the doctor spoke traveled through Nick’s mind and he didn’t even fully grasp what was being spoken to him. He was in a state of shock, disbelief.

The doctor could see that his young patient was in shock. “Nick?”

Nick jumped, blinking his eyes. “Huh, oh sorry.”

“I know this is upsetting news, but there still is hope and once I get the results of the scope and the biopsy, we can start the treatment and be agressive. I can order them stat and you we can get this done and overwith. Have you had anything to eat or drink this morning?”

“N-no.”

“Good, we can take care of both of them right now,” the doctor stated as he picked up the phone extension on his oak desk. “Mary, I need to have a UGI and a surgical suite for a laparotomy done STAT. Thanks.”

Nick felt numb as he listened to the doctor talk to the woman on the phone. This was all too surreal to him, this couldn’t be happening. He silently prayed that this dream would come to an end and he would be waking up safe and sound in his own bed at home.

“Nick, you have to keep thinking positive until we get the results back. I’m going to send you over for the tests and admit you to the hospital for the biospy you’re done and we will discuss the treatment options you’ll be left with when I can make a solid diagnosis.”

“So it might not be cancer?” Nick asked hopefully.

Dr. Santos sadly shook his head. “It’s cancer, but I don’t know what type of Non-Hodgkins it is just yet Nick. There are several stages and I’m hoping it’s the high grade lympoma.”

Before the doctor could finish speaking, the phone rang. The doctor scribbled some notes on a white sheet of paper and hung the receiver down. He handed them to Nick.

“It’s been arranged for you to go directly to St. Mary’s for these tests. Go directly to the admitting department and they will get you admitted and then we will explore the treatment options once the results are read.”

Nick accepted the slip of paper from the doctor.

“Are you okay to drive or do you want us to call a cab?”

Staring down at the paper, Nick shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

Laying in the hospital bed allowed Nick to think about the surgery he was about to have. He had never had anything done to him and now here he was preparing to have someone poke and prod inside his body. He could have called his mother to let him know what was going on, but he decided against it after what had happened on the family vacation in Aspen. He blinked away the tears that formed when he felt the ache in his heart and remembered the words his mother spat out to Brian so bitterly:

“He’s getting fat and the only thing that goes with gaining weight is lack of exercise and proper eating habits. Fat people are prone to getting sick and so it’s clear to me that Nick made Aaron sick.”

“If you only knew mom,” Nick sighed.

Nick turned his head at the sound of footsteps entering the room. Dr. Santos was coming in with one of his nurses from the office.

“Hi Nick, are you all set to go?”

Nick grimaced, “I don’t have much of a choice.”

The doctor patted Nick on the shoulder. “Well, after speaking with my colleague, we both decided that the scope wasn’t necessary, but the node biopsy definately was. This surgery is quite simple, I use a laprascope and you will have some tiny incisions where the probes are inserted into your abdomen and then a small incision above your navel and its closed with steri strips. No sutures and aside from some bruising, you shouldn’t have anything noticeable.” The doctor could see the apprehension in his young patient. “Nick, everything is going to be fine. I’ll see you down in OR in about twenty minutes.”

A groggy Nick strained to look at his surroundings. His vision was blurred from coming out of the anesthesia and also from not having his contact lenses in.

“Good morning, how are you feeling this morning?”

Nick decided that this nurse was way too chipper for the way he felt this morning. “Like I got hit by a Mack Truck.”

“That’s pretty common,” she sympathized. “So hows the pain?”

“Still around,” Nick remarked.

“Well, the meds you took twenty minutes ago should start working. I think I saw Dr. Santos making his rounds so he should be in here in a few minutes to talk to you. Is there anything I can get you?”

“A new body,” Nick sighed.

“Aw Nick, do you still feel bad this morning?” Dr. Santos asked as he approached the bed.

Nick replied by shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, the results are back from the biopsy and it shows that you have Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, Stage III, high grade.”

“In English what does that mean?”

“In English, if you had a choice over which one to have, this one is the best of the choices because it responds to treatment a little better than the others. Your spleen has been affected, which accounts for the swelling of your stomach and you have some other nodes that were effected which will account for the generalized swelling in those areas too.”

“So this was more than the mumps all along?”

“Yes, I doubt that it was ever the mumps Nick, I believe it was the glands reacting to an infection and they went haywire.”

Nick swallowed hard before he asked the next question that laid heavily on his mind. “I-ss is this.. um, how long do I have?”

The doctor sat on the edge of the bed. “Nick, this doesn’t have to be fatal, but it could be if you chose to not take adavantage of the medications and the treatments that are available. If you do what you’re told, you have an 85% chance of survival over a 5 year period. Every year after that the survival rates go up, not down. It’s very guarded but I think your prognosis could be good.”

“So what are the treatments and medications?”

“Well, there is radiation therapy, chemotherapy and a beta therapy that would help your immune system. I am going to have you start with three weeks worth of outpatient radiation therapy and then you will come back for a check up and then we will start on the chemo for a week on and then a week off and a week on again for a period of about two months. This will all depend on how your body responds to the treatments.”

Nick nodded as he listened to the doctor outline what his life would be like for the next year.

“I’m going to get you scheduled at the facility you would like to have your radiation started at and my nurse will give you some literature for you to read up on with the side effects and drawbacks of radiation and chemo. If you have any questions, please don’t be afraid to ask or call. Do you feel well enough to go home?”

Nick shrugged his shoulders. He wasn’t sure how he felt anymore. He was void of any feelings at this point. His mind was reeling and he didn’t know what was going to happen or how to control the uncontrollable cancer that was in his body.

“I’ll see you in a few weeks, keep your spirits up,” Dr. Santos assured Nick as he quickly looked at the incision and then scooped up the chart and left the room.

Leaving Nick alone to his thoughts.

Leaving Nick alone in his new world.