I stared at the tv screen, not completely understanding what was happening. This was all a bad dream and I desperately wanted it to end. Mtv was starting up the press conference and I was anxious to hear what Kevin or any of the other guys would have to say about this mixup. They were probably gonna clear up the rumor that was saying I was dead. This was some sick joke that had gone way too far.

The camera panned the long table where Howie, Kevin, AJ, Brian and Lizz were setting quietly. I did a double take when I saw Lizz. She looked awful, she had dark rings under her eyes and it looked like she was coming out of one hell of a crying jag. I could tell by her actions that she was feeling the panic attack I was fighting. I needed to calm down for her. Thank god Brian was sitting next to her to help her. Last time we had a conference, I was there for her. I literally held my breath as the conference began.

Kevin cleared his throat.As always, he was the spokesperson for the group. Cameras were flashing continuously and video equipment was humming. “Nick passed away on Monday due to complications from surgery. Private funeral services will be held tomorrow in Florida,” Kevin stated, his voice was thick with emotion.

This had to be part of some sick joke, I thought to myself as I stared at the tv screen in disbelief. The camera angle widened and the whole table was shown once again. By the look on everyone’s face, it appeared that they believed what Kevin had read. The look on Brian’s face tore at my heart. He looked lost. I wanted to scream at the tv, get through to someone that I was alive and alright. In a desperate move, I pulled the nurse call button out of the socket on the wall. Within seconds, a team of five nurses came bursting through the door. I was guessing once they saw that I wasn’t having a heart attack, all left but one.

“What do you need?” the nurse asked as she plugged the call button back into the wall outlet.

I stared at her for a moment. How was I going to relay what I needed to ask her? Frustrated, I pointed at the tv. She looked in the direction I was pointing and smiled and nodded.

“Yep, it’s Mtv.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. How could she even think I pulled a nurse button for something that stupid. To hell with doctor’s orders, what did it matter now if I kept quiet? ”They think I’m dead.” I winced as I heard my voice. It sounded awful. I was shocked at how raspy it sounded. It was hard to describe. It was like AJ going on 4 days without sleep. I guess it would be like when you spent 3/4 of the night yelling and screaming at the top of your lungs.

“Sh-h-h, Jack, you’re not supposed to talk, doctor’s orders.”

My eyebrows furrowed, I was growing frustrated with this nurse. ”Not Jack, I’m Nick.”

“I think you need to talk with someone. Please, just lay back and rest and I will get someone to talk to you,” the nurse urged as she placed a hand on my shoulder trying to force me to lay back.

I shook my head, she wasn’t going to play this game with me. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. ”No, tell me.”

“You need to calm down or I will have to sedate you,” the nurse replied, a slight annoyed tone set into her voice. That was enough to keep me quiet for the time being. I hated being sedated, I needed to keep awake to find out answers. ~*~*~*~*~

The panicky feelings eased slightly, catching myself somewhat off-guard. It didn’t totally go away so I knew he had to still be awake, but it wasn’t as persistent as it was when it hit me.

Brian was watching me out of the corner of his eye and I gave him an uncertain smile, trying to convey that it was okay. He nodded barely and turned his attention back to the interview. I tried to pay attention, but my mind kept drifting back towards the viewing, the plans, and Nick.

“Lizz...Lizz??” I snapped back to attention.

“Uh...yeah?” I stammered, flushing. The lady that was doing the asking now was facing me and cameras were flashing behind her.

“Kevin said that you were going to be taking a trip away from here to get a break from all this...” She stopped, hoping I would elaborate. Normally I would clam up, but this was just the opportunity I needed. I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Yeah...losing Nick, um...it’s hitting me pretty hard and I guess I really need to get away for awhile. I’ve got some friends in Florida that are expecting me. Being here, remembering everything...I guess it’s too much...” My voice caught and I let the stress and general fear of the whole situation show through. I hoped Marcus was watching this. Asshole.

Brian squeezed my hand on top of the table reassuringly. The lady nodded sympathetically and moved on.

~*~*~*~*~

Nick watched in horror as Lizz told everyone about her plans. She was leaving?! Why did everyone think he was dead? He could barely stand watching her struggle to compose herself as she tried to talk. He had to do something to fix this! The camera moved on to Brian and Nick could only stare at the screen, his heart dropping, as his best friend tried to keep his emotions in check.

~*~*~*~*~

The rest of the press conference was a total blur. I couldn’t stay focused no matter what and I was anxious to get to my flight and to find out about Nick. I had to get word to him that I would be there soon and to hang on.

Brian and I waited outside the room while the other three guys were still inside with last minute stuff.

“Think it worked?” I asked softly.

Brian shook his head. “I almost believed it was all real. That is not something I ever want to go through again. What about you? Are you okay?”

I nodded. “I just feel really uneasy. It’s sort of coming and going. Like getting strong, then easing up. I wish I could talk to him.”

“We can’t take that risk. Your flight leaves pretty soon anyway doesn’t it?” Brian whispered back.

I nodded again. “A couple of the body guards are taking me to the airport as soon as the rest of the guys get out here, I guess.”

“You sure you are okay with this?” Brian studied me critically.

“I’m scared shitless, but I have to. You know as well as I do.” I sighed.

Just then Kevin came out, followed by AJ and Howie. My heart went out to them, they looked so torn up.

It’s for the best, it’s for the best. I had to coach myself constantly that this was the right thing to do.

“Ready?” Kevin asked me.

“Yeah.” I whispered.

I exchanged good-byes with everyone, promising to keep in touch, only Kevin and Brian knowing I would be coming right back again. Leaving in the car with the two guards was harder than I thought. I was afraid to leave the hospital, to leave Nick. After going back and forth with myself a few times, I made my mind up. I was going to call Nick’s floor when I got to the airport. Risky, yes, but that was me, the big risk-taker.

Once at the airport I let one of the bodyguards take care of the details of getting the ticket and stuff. I told the other one I need to make a quick phone call. I went to a pay phone while he stayed close enough just in case, but far enough to let me have the privacy I needed. My hands were shaking as I dialed the hospital operator. I asked for Nick’s floor and as soon as someone picked up my mind blanked! What name was he under?! Almost in a flash it came back to me.

“I need to leave a message for a patient. Can you write this down and give it to him? It’s important.” I thought furiously on what to say to keep it secret, yet so he would understand.

“Sure, that’s no problem.” The lady said pleasantly.

“Okay, here goes: ‘Dear Jack Carpenter, I know you are probably a little lost, but trust me. It will all work out. Stay out of trouble and I will see you tomorrow. Love ya, your Shark.’”

I tried to think of how to end it in a way that no one else would know it was me. I didn’t want to say anything having to do with shithouse coon because there were people that knew what that meant. No one knew about the shark thing and I knew he would get that.

“Is that it honey?” The lady affirmed.

“Yes ma’am. It’s really important that he gets it okay?” I tried to stress it in my voice.

“I will deliver it myself. Don’t you worry.” She assured me.

“Thank you so much.” I hung up and walked over to where the guard waited.

“Your flight is boarding in about 10 minutes.” He informed me. “Gate 25.”

The walk was short and the ten minutes flew by. The guards stayed with me until I walked onto the plane. Just before leaving one of them handed me an envelope. “Mr. Richardson wanted me to give this to you before boarding. Read it on the plane.” He said softly.

“Thank you both.” I said quietly. The butterflies were in full flight as I filed in line to get on the plane. I had Kevin’s money, now the envelope, my cell phone, and my purse. That was it.

I found my window seat and was relieved that it wasn’t a very full flight. No one was sitting next to me. A middle-aged businessman sat on the aisle, giving me a polite nod before opening up his laptop. I stared at the laptop, it bringing back the memories of how this all started. Me signing on one day to find Nick on the other end, getting ready to end his life. From that point on it was almost a never-ending rollercoaster of events. Who knew how one incident would impact the rest of our lives.

I shook my head as if to shake the thoughts from my mind. I had to focus on the task at hand. In only a few hours I would be someone completely different. I untied Nick’s sweatshirt from around my waist and rolled it up so it was a half pillow as I rested my head against the window, Kevin’s envelope clutched tightly in my hands. I watched everything below me shrink until it couldn’t be seen anymore. The last thought I had before I shut my eyes, was a prayer that Nick understood my note and everything would be okay till I got back.

~*~*~*~*~ 

The jarring of the plane landing on the tarmack woke Lizz up from her dreams. It took her a few moments to shake off the disorientation but then she quickly remembered where she was and what her mission was. Looking down she noticed that the envelope that Kevin gave her had fallen to the floor. She scooped it up and tore it open.

<i>Lizz, This is very important that you contact me as soon as you have your new name chosen. I can make some arrangements for you on my end and get your return flight back here. I won’t be seeing you again until this matter is overwith. I feel that since the funeral will be in Tampa tomorrow afternoon, it is important that you get out of there ASAP since Marcus will more than likely be watching the area. You can contact me on my cell phone at 407-396-6529 with the details. Good Luck, Kevin </i>

Lizz quickly folded the letter and stuffed it back into the envelope getting in line to file out of the plane.

~*~*~*~*~

This show wasn’t ending and now they were showing a “time capsule” of my life and accomplishments. Since there wasn’t any phones in ICU I couldn’t call my parents or anyone else for that matter. I could get dressed and get the hell out of here and go find Brian or someone and find out why they think I’m dead. As I started to pull the covers off, a quick, sharp knock on the door stopped me. Alice, my daynurse came bustling in with a slip of paper in her hand.

“Mr. Carpenter, I have a note from someone that said it’s very important that you get it.”

<i>Dear Jack Carpenter, I know you are probably a little lost, but trust me. It will all work out. Stay out of trouble and I will see you tomorrow. <p>Love ya, your Shark.’”</i> I read that note twice before it clicked in. <i><b>‘Love ya, your Shark’.</i></b>

That was Lizz! But wait a minute, how come Lizz was at that press conference and was crying because I was dead? This was all too confusing and I was starting to get a headache trying to sort it out.

“Is everything alright, Mr. Carpenter?” I gave a slight nod. I mouthed the words “thanks” and laid my head back on the pillow praying that the headache would go away and that I would get answers quickly.

~*~*~*~*~

“Brian, I think the trip would be too much on you and it’s best that you stay here and stay healthy so you can be discharged by the end of this week.” Brian stared at Kevin as he listed the reasons why he shouldn’t fly to Tampa for the funeral.

“But Marcus will be--”

“Marcus will be thinking you have to stay where you are because you’re not fit to travel,” Kevin interrupted in a stern voice. “Now, I’m waiting on a phone call from Lizz and then I have to set up her return flight. Once she sets up a bank account, I will make sure funds are deposited since she will be with Nick and he won’t have any access to his money.”

Brian watched as his cousin paced the room, running a hand through his dark hair occasionally. This was taking a toll on a normally quiet and passive man. He wanted to help but he was still dealing with limitations on his body as well as he was sure Nick was.