The tall, dark haired man spoke into his mic, addressing the screaming crowd, "Should we go in and let you guys see what goes on during wardrobe changes?"
The lanky, tattooed man objected to the suggestion as the crowd screamed its support, "Whoa! Wait up a sec, Kev. I don't want thousands of women to see me in my skimpies!!"
The Latino with long, sweat soaked dark hair brought a hand to his chest, "Gasp!" he cried. "AJ McLean is SHY!?!"
AJ playfully shoved the Latino in the shoulder, "It ain't that, Howie. I've got my pride."
As Howie rolled his eyes, AJ eyed the crowd around him, "That is, unless, any of you fine ladies would like to join us?"
As the crowd screamed deafeningly, Howie clamped a hand over AJ's mouth, "Such a mouth, young man!! What would your mother say?!"
AJ just grinned behind Howie's hand. Howie shook his head and pushed AJ away. A shorter, sandy haired man with wavy bangs and a kind face interjected, his words having the slightest southern edge to them, "I think we ought to let them see. It's BSB!! Behind the scenes!"
Kevin approached the trunk and lifted the lid, bending over to peer inside at the darkness within. He turned and addressed the Southerner, "Well, Brian, should we go in?"
"Absolutely!" shouted Brian with a goofy grin.
A tall, blond haired youth stepped hesitantly toward the trunk, leaning back as he furtively glanced down. With an abrupt shake of his head, he quickly backed away, "Nuh-uh! No way! I ain't goin' in there!! ...There could be gremlins hiding in there!!"
Brian placed a reassuring arm around the youth's shoulders, "Aw, c'mon Nick! There're no gremlins! Besides, we'll be right there with ya."
Nick sent a nervous glance at the trunk and then looked back at Brian's face, seeing the smile and wink. Nick nodded his head and forced a grin upon his face for Brian, but his eyes were still nervous and he was soon worrying his bottom lip. Brian gave him one last pat on the back and stepped away. Nick closed his eyes and took deep breaths, his reaction to the trunk not an act as his friends had always assumed. It was never this bad before, though. Relax, Nick. he told himself, Remember, this is just a skit, same as the other hundred times you did it. Just suck it up and go into the trunk... the dark trunk... the confining, dark trunk...
Nick snapped his eyes open and blinked once, shaking his head. Yeah, thinking like that was not helping much. Coming back to the present, Nick lifted his eyes and saw Howie climbing into the trunk, giving a wave to the crowd as he disappeared into the box. Brian stepped up next and gave the audience a salute as he descended into the trunk's depths.
Nick felt his chest tighten. It was his turn. He hesitated. He felt the fear that resided deep within him surface and it took his breath away. Nick didn't understand. This had never happened before, he'd never been this scared during the skit before. The fear was just so intense... The nightmare. That had to be the reason for it. It was just never this bad before. He'd never had the fear freeze him up like it did now, not since he was a kid.
Nick jumped slightly as a hand touched his arm, his wide blue eyes darting over to see AJ covertly nudging him toward the trunk, a confused light in the brown eyes that peered over silver sunglasses. Nick gave him an apologetic smile and managed to step toward the trunk, his breath quickening as he neared the object. He now stood at its threshold and felt a sudden shiver course up his spine. His hand reached out and gripped the box's rim as he swung his legs over the edge and onto the platform within that would lower him below stage.
Nick felt his hands begin to tremble as he painted a bright smile on his face and gave the audience a wave as the platform began its descent into the darkness. Nick gripped his shaking hands into fists and tried to control his overwhelming fear as the inky blackness closed in all around him. Nick felt as if the air around him had turned solid, the heavy weight of it pressing against him, suffocating him. Nick closed his eyes tight, his form motionless save for his tremors of pure fear.
Nick let out his breath in a whoosh as he felt the platform jolt to a stop, not realizing he had held his breath the entire time he was descending into the blackness. Nick quickly scrambled off the lift before it arose to retrieve AJ, his feet tangling in some cords on the floor and causing him to abruptly lose his balance. Nick gave a gasp as he felt himself fall, then relief coupled with a splice of fear flashed through him as a hand shot out of the darkness and snatched his arm, halting his fall.
"Whoa there, Nick!" exclaimed Brian, his other arm reaching out to steady the blond, "Careful."
Nick stared at his best friend as he was guided to the side, the spectral beams and dim glows of the stage lights causing Brian's features to become somewhat visible in the semi-darkness, though morphing his best friend's kind features into something almost ghostly. Nick shivered.
Now standing along side Howie and Brian, Nick forced a smile upon his face. He tried to speak, but his voice broke and he had to clear his throat. Finally, his voice came out, his mind not acknowledging that it was merely a husky, raw whisper, "Hey... thanks, Bri'."
Brian gave him a distracted grin, his eyes looking past Nick for the arrival of their absent band mates, "No prob', Frack. You ought to watch yourself a bit more though, you'll end up gettin' hurt in all this darkness."
If it weren't for the pale glow of light that served as the only source of illumination, Brian would have noticed as Nick's face drained of color. Nick swallowed, swiping a still trembling hand through his spiked hair, "Oh, I'll watch it, Frick. Promise."
Brian didn't hear the soft words Nick uttered, keeping his eyes in the direction AJ and Kevin would soon be coming from. Brian smiled as he heard AJ's line before he was to step into the trunk.
"Sorry, Kev. Beauty before age. Ha ha ha!"
Brian grinned, he loved that line. He then chuckled as AJ soon came traipsing up to them as they now awaited Kevin. For the millionth time, Brian fleetingly wondered how AJ could see anything with those damn sunglasses. Brian, cautious as he was, had still almost fallen on his face several times during the tour, but AJ never had. What was he, a cat?
AJ threw an arm around Nick's shoulders recklessly, causing the skittish blond to shy away slightly, resulting in AJ's arm falling away. AJ frowned a bit, but then shrugged and grinned in the dark, the sparse light flashing across his teeth, "I swear, I'll never get tired of sayin' that line! And I know that pissed expression on Kevvy's face is real every time! I know it is!"
AJ suddenly stiffened as a hand gripped the back of his neck, the voice emanating from behind him unmistakable, "Shall we proceed, gentlemen?"
AJ cleared his throat and laughed nervously, "Sure, let's get goin'. Hey, ya know, Kev. I don't mean that line. Ya know that, don't ya? ...Just jokin' around... right?"
Kevin grinned at the rambled words, moving his hand to ruffle AJ's wild hair, "Yeah, Bone. Relax!"
"Whew!" exhaled AJ, feigning great relief, "I thought for a moment I was about to break millions of girls' hearts with my untimely and most tragic demise by the dreaded and feared wrath of the great Kevin Richardson!"
Howie took his head from the curtain he'd been peering out of and stared at AJ, "Jeez, 'J. That was a mouthful." He glanced through the curtain at the end of the stage again, then turned back to the guys, "C'mon, the bodyguards are ready."
"All right!" yelled AJ, rubbing his hands together briskly, "On with the show!"
The four singers moved toward the curtain while Nick watched nervously, still feeling fingers of fear running up and down his back. God, I wish it would go away. I can't stand it. That damned nightmare! Jeez, why now? I was almost over that... that... Nick shook his head, blinking the thoughts away. Then when he realized his friends were leaving him, Nick moved quickly to catch up to them. He fell in behind Brian just as they started to exit the curtain to be escorted by a horde of bodyguards to the center stage.
As the bodyguards closed in around them, Nick had an overwhelming need for safety, for something familiar. Desperate, Nick's hand shot out and grasped the back of Brian's shirt, his action startling Brian.
Brian glanced worriedly back at Nick as they continued to hurry along while the audience was distracted by the video on the vid-screen. The darkness was so thick that Brian could barely make out Nick's form, "Nick... Hey, you okay?"
Nick only nodded, his hand twisting in the back of Brian's shirt. Brian's voice of concern came again, and Nick realized Brian couldn't see his gesture in the darkness. Nick's fist in the back of Brian's shirt tightened into a white-nuckled grip at the mere thought of the darkness surrounding them like a suffocating blanket. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, Nick strained out an answer for Brian, "I'm fine, jus' nervous."
Brian seemed to accept this, "Okay, we're almost there, Frack. This is just like all the other times, remember buddy?"
"Yeah, Bri'," agreed Nick in a whisper, his grip not lessening.
Doubt momentarily flashed across Brian's shadowed eyes, his features pausing in confusion as Nick still held his shirt tightly. What was going on here? He asked himself, wishing he could see Nick's face. They all still got nervous for concerts sometimes, but this was over the top even for Nick.
Brain's attention was abruptly drawn elsewhere as they arrived at the small stage toward the back of the arena. The bodyguards quickly hustled them through the curtains as a few fans in that area caught notice of them, wanting them out of sight quickly.
Nick kept his hand fisted in Brian's shirt until they were on the round stage lift and the lights were turned back on, the spot lights illuminating their forms rising from below stage and the crowd around them. Nick had never felt such relief and tuned everything but the light and concert out.
Nick collapsed into his bunk, a long sigh escaping his lips as he closed his eyes. He'd never felt so drained as he did at that moment. Then again, he'd never been so happy a concert was over either. From the center stage performance to the end had all been a blur. He had done all the songs, all the dances, but he knew his usual enthusiasm and crowd interaction was severely lacking. It was like he was running on auto-pilot.
Rubbing his eyes, Nick pushed himself up and leaned against the wall of his bunk. He examined his nails as he thought over the last hour of the concert. He knew Brian noticed his less than stellar performance. He had kept giving Nick weird looks--confused looks.
Sighing, Nick began muttering in frustration, "What the hell is wrong with me? I'm gonna go nuts if this damn fear of the dark gets any worse." Nick raked his hands through his short blond hair, pulling his knees up to his chest, "Why now? God, why now?"
"Why now what?"
"Ah!" cried Nick, startled by the voice so close beside him. He gasped and pressed a hand to his chest, "Jesus Christ! Ya scared the hell outta me, AJ."
AJ furrowed his brow, as he hadn't been quiet as he'd gotten on the bus. Nick should have heard him coming, "You tired or somethin', Frack?"
"We just got done with a concert, 'J," deadpanned Nick, looking up at the rebel, "So, yeah. I'm a bit tired. I ain't no energizer bunny like you. You just keep goin' and goin'."
AJ grinned, "Yep. It's one of my finer qualities." AJ then frowned, "Are you okay, Nick? I mean, you look a bit peaked. You're not gettin' sick, are ya?"
Nick gave AJ a wan smile, "Nah, I'm fine. Just overdid it a bit tonight. I'll be fine after a good long sleep."
AJ watched him for a moment, then nodded, "Okay, if you say so. But if ya do feel sick, tell us before it gets bad? You remember what happened last time." AJ looked sincere as he continued, "It's no fun seein' you collapse on us, Nicky. Just tell us, okay?"
Nick felt a pang of guilt as he nodded, "I will, AJ. I think I'll catch some Z's now. See ya in the mornin'?"
"Okay," answered AJ, placing his bag under his bunk, the reason he came back to the bunk area, "G'night, Nick."
"'Night," smiled Nick, watching as AJ left, shutting the curtain behind him.
Sighing, Nick let his head fall back, wincing as it hit the hard wood a little too hard. Okay, it was official. He was a complete wreck. If AJ could notice something was wrong, Brian would be able to see even more. Damn, he had to lick this dark thing before Brian hounded him about it. Nick was able to get away with the fear when he was younger because... Well, because he was younger. Brian understood, as did the others. Lots of kids were afraid of the dark, but adults? Nick was twenty-one years old. He shouldn't be afraid of the dark. No matter what the reason for the fear starting in the first place.
Nick shuddered, then mumbled, "I'm such a wuss. Being afraid of the dark." Nick shook his head, "Damn it. That is it. That's it! I'm not afraid and that is the end of it."
Nick nodded to himself, as if saying the words aloud would vanish his problem away. He hoped it did. He truly didn't know what else to do.
Brian adjusted the bag over his shoulder as he followed Kevin and Howie onto the bus, his eyes clouded in thought. He was trying to figure out what was going on with Nick lately. He just knew something was up. God, he hoped he wasn't sick. Nick never told them if he was. It was downright maddening. What was the big deal?
Shaking his head, Brian sighed. He knew why. Being teased when he was younger by AJ and being the cause of problems to Kevin when he was sick had caused Nick to simply not tell them anymore. Brian knew AJ was just being AJ and Kevin didn't take it as a problem, Kevin was just real easy to misinterpret. Brian knew Kevin the longest and knew how to read him. Kevin hated it when Nick had gotten sick because he was always afraid he wouldn't be able to take care of him like he should have been taken care of by a parent. Kevin was just a big ole worrywart, especially in Nick's case. In a way, Brian mused, Kevin had practically adopted the blond.
Brian's thoughts were interrupted when he ran into the back of Howie, who had suddenly stopped in front of him.
"AJ," toned Kevin's voice ahead of Brian and Howie, "What the hell are you eating?"
AJ's reply was muffled as he obviously talked around the food in his mouth, "Cold pizza."
Brian chuckled, only AJ would be eating cold pizza at one 'o clock in the morning. Brian went and sat beside the rebel as Howie and Kevin finally moved out of the way, setting his bag on the floor beside his feet. Eyeing the plate of pizza, Brian shrugged and picked up a piece, taking a bite and then asking a glaring AJ, "Where's Nick?"
"Why yes, Brian. Of course you may have a piece of my pizza, especially since you asked so nicely," AJ replied sarcastically, glowering at Brian as the southerner continued to chomp away at the pizza, grinning. AJ sighed, taking another bite of his own piece, "He's sleeping."
Howie's eyes widened slightly in surprise as he slid into the booth opposite them, a glass of juice in his hand, "Really? Already?" Howie paused, looking worried, "He's not sick, is he?"
Brian smiled. He didn't think Nick was going to get away with not telling them about being sick anymore. It seemed it was the first thing they all thought of when he acted out of the ordinary. It wasn't surprising, really. The last time he didn't tell them he was sick, he ended up collapsing during stage rehearsals. He had scared them all half to death. Brian winced. He knew he would never forget the look in Kevin's eyes.
"He said he wasn't," AJ answered Howie, "And I made sure he knew to tell us if he was feelin' bad."
"He better tell us," toned Kevin as he sat beside Howie, a bottle of water in his hand. "After what happened last time, he should know better."
"He said he was just tired," added AJ, grabbing Howie's glass of juice and taking a swig before the Latino could say a word. "I believe him. I mean, I saw him yawn a lot before the concert even started."
"AJ!" Howie finally exclaimed, snatching the now half empty glass from his friend, "Dang it! Get your own!"
AJ just looked calmly back at Howie, pointing to Brian beside him, "Brian's in the way."
Howie raised an eyebrow, "And you couldn't of asked him to move?"
"Didn't want to inconvenience him," grinned AJ, a familiar light in his dark eyes. It was the 'annoy Howie to hysterics' look.
Howie opened his mouth, but couldn't find anything to say. His face simply grew red as he let out a loud, frustrated sigh. AJ smirked.
"Well," voiced Kevin, playing with the bottle of water in his hands. "The next concert isn't until the day after tomorrow, and we're not going back to the hotel here. We're driving straight to the next stop, so he won't be woken up later and he'll be able to sleep in."
Brian looked up, surprised, "Ya mean we don't have any appointments tomorrow? No interviews or anything?"
"I didn't say that," replied Kevin, giving Brian an apologetic smile. "We have an interview at a radio station and then an appearance for a fundraiser to save an old, historical site. But both of them aren't until after lunch."
AJ made a face, "Old historical site? What old historical site?"
"You guys never look at our schedules, do you?" asked Kevin with a shake of his head.
"Well, of course we don't," replied Howie with a smirk. "That's what you are for, Kevvy."
Kevin rolled his eyes, "It's to help a campaign to save a centennial homestead, from the Civil War days. It's an old mansion type house on the edge of a forest, once belonging to a General from the war. They are trying to stop it from being demolished to make room for more development. They want to turn it into a museum of the old South and the Civil War."
They all nodded their heads, then Brian asked, "And we are going to..."
Kevin sighed, "We are going there to show our support in saving it, make a donation, and to take a tour of the homestead."
"Oh," Brian replied simply.
"Management thinks it'll be good publicity," Kevin continued, then shook his head. "Hell, I would've done it anyway. If that house is in as good of condition as they say it is, it should be preserved. It's a part of history, American history."
"Aw," guffawed AJ with a smirk, "There's the practical, upstanding Kevin we all know and love. Fightin' for what's right! Huh, Kevvy baby?"
"Shut up, AJ," Kevin smoothly replied, taking a drink from his water bottle. He capped it and then pushed himself to his feet. "Well, I'm goin' to bed. You all should, too."
"Yes, mommy," cooed AJ, then letting out a grunt as Brian's elbow connected with his ribs. "Ow! Bri-an! What was that for?"
"Don't piss him off, 'J," warned Brian quietly.
"Relax," commented Kevin, putting his water bottle in the fridge. "I just want y'alls to go to bed now so ya won't wake me up when you do later. Capiche?"
"Got it, Kev," said Howie, maneuvering himself from the booth. "I'm going to sleep now, too. It'll be nice to sleep in and I want as much rest as possible. I'm wore out."
"Me, too," agreed Brian, standing up. He bent over to grab his bag, then made to follow Kevin and Howie to the bunk area.
AJ stuffed the last piece of pizza into his mouth and clambered out of the booth, setting the dirty plate in the small sink. "Well," he said, chewing the mouthful of pizza at the same time as speaking, "I ain't gonna sit here talkin' to myself. Pillow, here I come!"
Kevin moved the separating curtain aside and stepped into the bunk area first, catching a glimpse of light from Nick's bunk before it disappeared.
"Hey, Nick," he called, giving the blond's bunk curtain a poke. "You still awake?"
As Kevin walked by and the other three entered the room, a sigh came from Nick's bunk, "Yeah."
"I thought you said you were tired, Nick," toned AJ, retrieving his bag from where he had stuffed it earlier. "You shoulda been asleep by now."
There was a short pause and then they heard the reply, "I was, until you four started makin' all that racket. And I swear I'm not sick. Okay, guys? I swear."
They all shared a guilty glance. They should have known Nick would have been able to hear them talking. The bus didn't exactly have thick walls. Hell, it was only a curtain separating the kitchen from the bunk area. There used to be a door instead, but it was busted several concerts ago. How could they break a door? Let's just say it involved AJ and a little argument in which they all said he couldn't kick a door in like Jackie Chan could in the movie they were watching at the time.
"Hey, we're sorry, Nick," apologized Howie, feeling a little weird talking to a curtain. "We worry about that, though. Ya know?"
"Yeah, I know, " came Nick's voice again. "I'm fine, though. Just tired. Now, y'all want to shut up so I can get some sleep?"
Brian looked at Kevin, not able to hide his lingering worry over his best friend, "Yeah, okay. We'll be quiet, Frack. We're not doin' anything tomorrow 'til after lunch, so you can sleep in if ya want, okay?"
"Sounds good, " was the muffled reply, sounding as if the blond were already falling asleep.
Silence encompassed the bunk area as the others got ready for bed, Brian giving the closed bunk several worried glances. Finally, Brian caught Kevin's arm and pulled him aside.
"Kev, I'm worried about him," Brian whispered softly, his eyes on Nick's bunk. "Somethin' ain't right. I just know it."
Fear entered Kevin's green eyes, "You don't think he's lying about not being sick, do you?"
"No," Brian answered quickly, "He's not sick. It's something else."
Most of the fear left Kevin's eyes as he sighed, "We can't do much about it until he tells us what it is, Brian. And you know how much he hates us bugging him about stuff like that."
"Yeah, I know," sighed Brian, scratching his head tiredly.
"Get some sleep, Brian," advised Kevin, giving Brian's shoulder a pat. "He'll open up eventually. We'll leave him be for the time being. Who knows, a good night's sleep might be all that he needs."
"All right, Kevin," relented Brian. "I guess I'll see ya in the morning."
"'Night, Bri'."
Nick listened as his four friends got ready for bed, letting a sigh escape his lips when the room finally when silent. He looked out of his bunk window, savoring the dim light streaming through from the moon as their driver took them out of the city limits.
As he watched the scene outside his window, Nick's hands fingered the small flashlight in their grasp. He barely resisted the urge to flick it on as a cloud blocked the moon's light for a few minutes, but when it emerged again, the urge left him.
Realizing the way he was acting, Nick jerked his hands away from the flashlight in disgust. Christ, how far was he going to go? He couldn't even go to sleep at night without a flashlight in his hands. How pathetic could a guy get?
Breathing deeply, Nick closed his eyes and focussed on the reality that his four best friends in the whole world were no more than three feet away from him. He wasn't alone in the dark so he had no reason to be afraid. He was safe and not alone.
"I'm safe," he whispered softly, sleep finally tugging at him, "I'm not alone."
Finally, all five men slept peacefully. Though, for how long it remained peaceful was to be seen.
