1

"Nicky...time to wake up!" I knew it was time to wake up. I heard my alarm clock. If I wanted to get up when it went off I wouldn't have pummeled the snooze button. When were these guys ever gonna figure that out?

"Nick, come on!"

"In a minute."

"Now!"

"I still have four minutes before my alarm goes off again." I said rolling over and trying my best to block Howie's annoying voice. I heard my radio go on full blast. God I hated when he did that.

"Seems like your four minutes are up." I rolled over and hit him with my pillow. This was our morning ritual. Every single morning we did this. It never got old, for him anyway.

"You just turned the radio on D! Duh what am I stupid or something?"

"Yeah you are Kaos." AJ said walking past us with toothbrush and towel in hand.

"No one asked you." I yelled as I sat up.

"Why are you always the last one up?"

"I think it's because I'm the only one who has the common sense to realize that we only have one bathroom on this thing."

"He's right Kev, I'll give him that much."

"Thank you Brian" I sat down beside him at our small table and grabbed the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch from the center of the table and poured an over abundance of it into my bowl. I was hungry.

"How can you eat that junk?"

I decided to answer Kevin with my mouth full, "I am a growing boy Kevin." They all laughed as it spewed out of my mouth.

"You are ridiculous you know that?" I answered with a nod stuffing my face to maximum capacity yet again.

"So what's on the agenda today Kev?" Brian asked as he stirred his Cheerios into his soy milk. Ick! I will never get used to that.

"Well, I think once we get into Joisey, we do a bunch of promo pics for the upcoming tour. I think we have an interview with some stupid fluffy magazine..."

"Oh that means I better get my favorite food and colors list ready." I reached over Brian and gave AJ a high five for that one.

Kevin ignored us and kept going, "And then we break up for things."

"I know I'm going to a children's hospital with Brian and AJ" Howie added, "I'm not sure of the time."

"Yeah and Nick and I get to go into New York."

"We do?" He nodded.

"You don't remember? You and your Mom are going on TRL to promote her book." Yeah, I probably blocked that out. When my mother told me she was writing a book on my life I thought she was kidding. Then when I actually saw her talking to a 'ghost writer' I became furious. I think that was truly the first time I had ever yelled at my Mom. Not only yelled at her but called her things no son should ever dare to call his Mother. My dad busted me for it. He actually slapped me for the first time in my life. I guess I deserved it too.

We barely talked for months after that. Now that I was 18, Mom didn't have to come with me as my chaperone any longer, so that had distanced us a bit. She hesitantly called to book us on TRL. As a matter of fact, she's not the one that even called me. It was her publicist. Why she even needed a publicist was beyond me. Sometimes I think my Mom forgets which one of us is famous.

"Hey Nick, who the heck is Mike?" I actually think I gasped when Kevin asked me that.

"Huh?"

"Mike, who is he?"

"Why do you ask?" I shoveled another spoonful of cereal into my mouth, not quite sure if I wanted to go down this road with the guys yet. It's not like I purposely didn't tell them about my brother. The guys knew about Bob and that he was my step dad but I never really told them much else. Sensing it was a touchy subject, they never asked either. Even though I know more then once, they wanted too.

"When I passed your bunk last night, I took your Walkman off your ears and you hit me and called me Mike." The other guys laughed.

"Awe cute, were you dreaming about a pet monkey or something?" I couldn't resist. I took a spoon of cereal and hit AJ in the face with it. He counter attacked with a piece of syrupy waffle. Sparking a mini food fight but more importantly making the subject of my brother forgotten.

Kevin was not happy with us but we didn't manage to make too much of a mess. As I cleaned the syrup out of my ears, I remembered what Kevin had said to me, "Why are you going into New York?" I asked him as he stood outside the bathroom waiting patiently for me to finish getting myself cleaned up and ready.

"I have some stuff to do at MTV too besides I figured you would like some company." I nodded. He really wanted to come because he didn't trust my Mom. The two of them made it no real big secret that they didn't like each other very much. They tended to butt heads about things. I was kind of happy Kevin would be there to act as a buffer between the two of us. We still weren't on the best of terms her and I.

"So you never answered my question before, about Mike?"

"Oh...yeah. I have no idea." I shrugged and moved out of the way so he could use the bathroom. I didn't feel like going into the dreams I have been having concerning my brother. They were all the same and all about that night. It's like suddenly all the memories I had tried so hard to avoid were invading my dreams. All ending with me waking up and missing my brother.

The first paycheck I got, I remember telling my Mom that I wanted to hire a private investigator to go look for him. Not dad but Mike. She frowned and said that Mike was an adult. If he wanted to find us, he would have.

I think I was fifteen at the time so I asked how old Mike would have been. She said 24. Same age as Kevin. I wonder if they would have been friends or if Kevin would have driven my brother as crazy as he drives me sometimes. She gave me a hug and said "I think by this time honey it's best to leave the past as the past. When the time is right, he will come to us"

By the time we hit New Jersey, we were ready for our crazy day.

"Mike this isn't break time! Get to work or lose your job!"

Mike rolled his eyes at his manager. The fourth manger he had in two months. The fourth job he had in two months. He knew he couldn't blow it this time. He was so behind on his bills including his rent that if he lost his job, this time he would be out on the streets. So even though he had every four letter word he could think of running through his mind, he bit his tongue and walked back into the busy record store.

By far out of all the jobs he had, working at the Virgin Mega store was the best. There was so many people in and out. So many famous people coming in to do autograph signings. He had only been there for three days and he had already seen Billy Joel and Stevie Wonder, shopping just like regular people. Of course, he couldn't get in more then a hello before being whisked away by the guy who was training him. There was a guy who was in charge of walking around with Mr. Joel and recommending things to him.

"How do you get that job?" He had asked one of his coworkers. Some girl with blue hair and a pierced nose, "You have to be screwing the manager of customer service."

"Oh, is she cute?"

"Oh yeah HE'S a real cutie pie." They both chuckled and became instant friends.

Her name was Melinda which didn't fit her badass image at all. Turns out she was in about the same predicament as Mike being in debt and one step away from homeless.

"Maybe we should live here in the store."

"Oh yeah, that's a grand idea."

"I hate this fucking place" Melinda cursed a lot.

"I kind of like it."

"You're new. Don't worry Mike. You'll hate it too in no time."

"Nah..I doubt it."

"Once you have to kiss the asses of a damn boy band you'll wish you were never born."

"Why do you say that?"

"Just wait and see." She said and threw her cigarette on the floor and stepped on it. That's when his manager told him to get a move on.

Mike felt refreshed being here so close to music. God he really loved the hell out of music. He had wanted so badly to go to college for it. He never got the chance though. He didn't even finish high school. So, he survived working one piddly job to the next. Eventually getting fired from them all because of his lateness and general lack luster attitude.

He guessed the drugs didn't help either.

"What's with the crowd outside?" he asked Melinda as he rung a customer's order through the register.

"There's a stupid ass Backstreet Boy going on TRL today."

"Oh" He didn't get TRL. He dared to watch it once but all the screaming and the stupid people talking during the videos seemed to have no point.

"That means it going to get busy as shit after the show. They come over all screaming and crying and buying their stupid CD's like their going out of style. I hate corporate America."

He just laughed.

"You know they should have really put you in the punk section. This pop/rock thing doesn't suit you well at all."

She stuck her pierced tongue out at him "Shut the hell up."

He laughed and she pretended not to be entranced by his good looks. He picked up on it though and smiled.

"You just wait and you'll see. After that jackass makes his appearance on TRL, all the teeny weenies will be in getting their CD. Just wait and watch." Almost as if on cue, Quit Playing Games With My Heart started blaring through the store.

"See? What the hell did I just tell you?"

"That's them huh?"

"Yeah" She sat against the back counter and filed her nails.

"He'll be in after his TRL appearance most likely."

"Well, at least it will be exciting."

"If you like screaming and crying 10 year olds it will be."

Mike decided to go out on the floor, he had enough negative energy thrown his way for now today. He walked over to the CD rack where the Backstreet Boys were displayed and laughed.

"I hate corporate America too." He said as he began to pile on even more CD's to the display. Glancing at the five pretty boys on the cover but thinking nothing of it.