“I’m sorry, what? What are you saying Elle?”

Noelle turned around to face Jenn, crossing her arms and sitting down on the window seat in the process. She took a deep breath, and then looked at Jenn. Now was the time.

“I can’t lose this baby because this is the only part of Nick I have left.”

Jenn stared at Noelle, blinking a few times, and letting what she had just said sink in.

“I don’t understand. You and Nick haven’t been together for over 8 months. That’s impossible.”

“I haven’t told anyone else about this. Howie has no clue. He doesn’t know I’m pregnant, and I plan on keeping it that way. It would crush him if he found out.”

Jenn stood and walked over to the window seat, sitting next to Noelle. She took one of Noelle’s hands in her own and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“You have to tell me what happened. We’ll sort through this. How do you know this isn’t Howie’s child?”

“Because Howie and I are very careful, always,” she sighed deeply and looked at Jenn, “and Nick and I weren’t.”

Noelle began to tell Jenn what happened that night almost three months ago as her mind began replaying every detail of every moment.

Standing in front of the wooden double doors Noelle hoped she would never see again, she paused for a moment to soak everything in. It felt like coming home, and she hated that. She wanted to run, but she had a purpose to be there. Her brain kept telling her to get in and get out, it’s that easy, but her heart knew that wasn’t true.

Taking a deep breath to ease her nerves and help her courage, she raised her hand to ring the doorbell. She paused momentarily before pressing the small button.

She could here the chimes ring in the house, and only a moment later the door opened revealing a petite, middle-aged woman with an apron on and her hair pulled back in a low ponytail.

“Ms. Bartlett? What are you doing here? Excuse me, I mean, come in please.”

The woman stepped aside and allowed Noelle to step into the foyer. She closed the door and walked around Noelle, motioning her towards the kitchen.

“Thank you Mrs. Bradshaw. I won’t keep you long.”

Noelle glanced around as she followed her, noticing that everything seemed to be the same. As she stepped into the kitchen the aroma of something cooking hit her nose. She began to feel panicked. Nick wasn’t supposed to be here.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was interrupting dinner. I’ll leave and come back another time.”

“Oh no, Ms. Bartlett, Mr. Carter will be home the next few weeks and asked me to fix some items that he could just warm up. I’m just finishing up a few things to put in the freezer.”

Noelle breathed a sigh of relief. Then she remembered why she was here.

“Mrs. Bradshaw, Nick called and left a message that he had a box of my stuff for me to come pick up. Do you know where it is?”

“Um, actually, I believe I saw it upstairs in the guest room.”

With a nod of thanks Noelle headed up the stairs slowly. The closer she got to the top of the stairs the more she began to shake. This was once her home, her life. Even the smell was the same, and it taunted her. Memories began to bombard her mind.

Once at the top of the stairs she began to move a bit faster. The guestroom was at the end of the hall on the left. She could do this. One foot in front of the other until she was there, but it didn’t quite work that way.

Half way down the hall, she froze. She couldn’t move a step further. As if by some force beyond her control she turned to her right and reached out, turning the doorknob. She stepped in and closed the door.

The smell of his cologne still hung in the air. There were random clothes strewn on the floor, typical when he was getting ready to go out. The bed was unmade, and one of the pillows had found its way onto the floor. One dresser drawer was left slightly open with a sock hanging out of it. On the nightstand there was a picture of Nick with his arms wrapped around her.

She walked over and picked it up. Ever so lightly she ran her fingertips over the cool glass as a single tear ran down her cheek. Noelle sat the picture down, and wiped the tear away

Just then she heard a cellphone ring. Looking around she saw Nick’s cellphone lying on the dresser. She stood still until it stopped ringing, then began to walk towards it stopping suddenly when it started ringing again.

She heard someone coming up the stairs, and she turned just in time to see the door fly open.

Blue eyes met brown and everything stopped.

The only sound Noelle could hear was her heart beating, and she could swear it was never that loud or that fast before. As much as she wanted to run, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from his.

Nick took a step towards her, and instinctively she took a step back, bumping into the dresser. He stopped and stared at her, blinking a few times as if he didn’t believe she was there.

“Noelle?”

“Hello Nick.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I came to get my box.”

Nick wanted to slap himself. Of course she wasn’t there to see him. He’d totally forgotten the message he’d left a few days ago.

“It’s in the guest room. Want me to help you carry it out?”

Noelle just shrugged her shoulders, and began to walk out of the room finally regaining control of her legs. However, just as she got close to him he reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

“Noelle, you have to know how sorry I am. I still love you, and I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I’d give anything to take it back.”

She heard the quiver in his voice, and looked up to see tears flowing down his cheeks. Instinctively she reached up and wiped them away, letting her fingertips linger a bit longer than they should have.

Then, as if in slow motion, he lowered his head and gently brushed his lips against hers. When she didn’t move away he took that as a sign to continue and deepened the kiss, coaxing her mouth open with his tongue, exploring her mouth and her taste as if for the first time.

At that moment everything became a blur as if moving super fast and in slow motion all at the same time. He took her hand and led her to the bed, lifting her shirt over her head in the process. Dropping feathery kisses down her neck and over her collarbone, he heard her moan and thought he would lose it then and there.

She knew this was wrong, but it felt so incredibly perfect that she didn’t dare stop it. Her hands found the hem of his shirt and began lifting, until he reached behind him and quickly pulled it off, tossing it on the floor.

He stopped and let his gaze wander over her. She was more beautiful than he remembered, if that was even possible. There was something about her, a sort of sadness that just tugged at him. It was all because of him. Tonight he was determined to prove his love for her.

He cupped her face in his hands and ever so gently began to kiss her. As he broke away, she looked him in the eyes and said five words he never thought he’d hear again.

“Make love to me, Nick.”

“I woke up before him the next morning and I left. He tried calling me several times, but I would never answer. I guess he finally gave up. I didn’t see him again until the wedding.”

Jenn just looked at her, trying to take everything in.

“So he never knew?”

“No, he couldn’t have. I suspected it, but I didn’t find out for sure until after the wedding. God Jenn, I just feel so guilty. I should have at least told him that I thought I might be pregnant. Maybe it would have changed things.”

Noelle began to cry, and as much as she had cried today, she still needed the release.

Jenn grabbed a quilt and wrapped it around Noelle’s shoulders. As the tears streamed down her cheeks, Noelle turned and looked out the window at the bay in the distance.

“I should have told him, but instead I married one of his best friends knowing that I might be carrying his child. I wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt me, but once again I’m the only one hurting.”

“Oh Elle, I wish there was something I could do to make things right. We’ll figure everything out, I promise. For now though, why don’t you head back to my bedroom and take a nap. You have to be tired after traveling half the night. When you wake up your head will be clearer. We’ll run out for some lunch at the little café down the street, and we’ll talk.”

Noelle just nodded her head and she stood up and stretched. Then she headed down the hall and into the bedroom.

Jenn listened for the door to close, and as soon as she heard the knob click shut she made her way into the kitchen.

Standing perfectly still she listened for any type movement at all. Once she was sure it was safe she reached over and grabbed the cordless phone.

After four rings the voice mail picked up. She waited patiently until she heard the beep.

“I think you need to get over here as soon as possible.”