Chapter 19       

        “Why did I do that?  This is my job and I’m going to ruin it!” Tammy yelled at herself in the mirror over the sink in the bathroom of her West Hollywood apartment.  She took a few deep breaths, then looked back into the mirror at the face of the woman she was not proud to have become.  “I’m like the bullet fired from a gun, and Trevor is pulling the trigger.  I’m not going to be the one who actually hurts her, but she’s going to get hurt because of me.” 

        She splashed some water on her face and patted it dry with a towel.  “But if I didn’t do it he would have gotten someone else and that person might not have cared who was getting hurt.  At least I warned her, vaguely, but she was warned nonetheless.”  Tammy turned off the light in the bathroom and walked into her bedroom.  It was four in the morning and she couldn’t sleep.  She thought sending the text message to Caryss would relieve some of the guilt that plagued her, but it didn’t. 

        “It’s too late; I’ve already given Trevor all the ammo he needs.  He’s paid me, the dirty work is done, and I don’t know how to stop him.”  She sat down on her bed and fell backwards onto the soft mattress.  She laid there for the next three hours, staring at the ceiling, no sleep giving sanctuary to her troubled mind. 

        “Where are your plans today?” Nick asked as he watched Caryss run around the suite frantically trying to get ready. 

        “Oh, Liz, Stacie and I are going to lunch and then we are doing phase one of dress shopping for the gala,” she responded with a forced smile, partially lying him and trying to shadow the apprehension and fear that plagued her mind and her dreams all night. 

        “Phase one?”

        “Yeah, you know, phase one; looking in different stores at dress styles, not ready to buy anything just yet, more for getting ideas.  Then a couple days later you move into phase two, where you try on some dresses and decide what colors and cuts work best.”  She was almost sincerely smiling now as she explained the different phases of dress shopping she had used since her first dance in junior high.  Her dad had never understood the “phases” either, and Nick reminded her of him at that very moment. 

        “And then I suppose phase three is the actual purchase of the dress,” he responded as he stood up and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a hug.

        “That is correct,” she said, laughing.  God he makes me so happy, I wish I could tell him what’s going on.  I know he would help me.  After this library thing today I’ll have more to go on and then maybe it will be the right time to tell him what I know.  She pulled out of the hug and leaned up to kiss him.  “I love you,” she whispered as the kiss ended, not really realizing that she had just spoken her most intimate thought about him out loud. 

        He bent his head down and brushed his lips against her ear.  She felt his hot breath on her but nothing felt better to her than the words that flowed from his mouth into her ear.  “I love you too.” 

        She smiled at him and backed away, trying to find her shoes.  She slipped them on her feet and grabbed her purse.  “I better get going or I’m going to be late.  Don’t get into any trouble today.”  She kissed him quickly on the lips and turned to leave. 

        “Call me when you’re done with phase one; maybe we can all have dinner together or something,” he called out to her as she was walking out the door. 

        She turned back to him and winked.  “Sounds like a plan.”  With that she was gone, pulling the door shut behind her.

        As she rode in the car on the way to the restaurant, she thought about the exchange of words she and Nick had in the suite.  She felt relieved.  With all the crazy things happening around her the past few days she wasn’t sure what would happen with them in the future and she was glad that he would at least know she really did love him if nothing else and she in turn would always know what it felt like to be truly loved by a man.  Knowing this comforted her, although it was unclear why she felt the need to be comforted.  What is happening with my life?  The only thing that’s certain to me right now is that there is no way I’m going back to Chicago…I plan on finding out what is going on. 

        “So here’s what I’m thinking,” Stacie began after the waitress took their menus and headed towards the kitchen to put their order in.  “Liz and I will go the library early, I’ll hang out inside the reference room and Liz will browse in the room next to it.  You will not be alone in the library that way and both of us will be close enough to you if anything goes down.  You can go look in the encyclopedia and find whatever you need to and then we will all leave at separate times and meet up at the boutique down the street or something, what do you think?”

        Liz and Caryss had both been taking a sip of their water and they stopped mid drink, glasses in hand, mouths on the brim in preparation of the drink and stared at Stacie with wide eyes.  Liz was the first to speak, gingerly setting her glass down on the table and folding her hands together in front of her. 

        “Well, aside from it sounding like a scene from Charlie’s Angels, it could be a good plan with a few adjustments.” 

        “I agree,” piped in Caryss, trying to be supportive of her friend’s efforts.  “Great plan, we’ll just have to tweak it a little to keep us from being too obvious.” 

        While they were waiting for their food to come, they planned the rendezvous at the library.  When their meals were placed in front of them, they felt very confident that everything would go smoothly and there would be no altercations. 

        Now I have to tell them about the text message I got last night, Caryss thought solemnly as she mixed the dressing into her salad. 

        “Eww peppers.  Did I not specifically ask for no peppers on this?” Liz exclaimed as she flipped the green and red bell pepper pieces off her food with her fork.  Stacie grabbed her own fork and started helping Liz de-pepper her food.  Caryss took a deep breath and decided now was as good a time as any to tell them. 

        “Girls, there’s something else I need to tell you,” she began, watching Liz and Stacie with amusement. 

        “We’re listening,” said Liz, her focus still on the food in front of her. 

        “I got a text message last night.  I don’t know who sent it, but it said that sometimes good things happen to bad people and this was going to be one of those times and I should go back to Chicago before it’s too late.”  She had said all of that in one breath and when she finished she inhaled very loudly.  Liz and Stacie dropped their forks onto the table, clanking them loudly in the process as they stared at their scared friend. 

        “Give me your phone, I want to see the message,” said Stacie.  Caryss grabbed her phone out of her purse and handed it to Stacie.

        “I have friend of a friend who works for the LAPD.  He’s a computer guy and he can trace things from all over the place.  He would be able to tell us who sent it,” offered Liz and she put her hand on Caryss’s. 

        “What do you think it means?  Do you guys think it has anything to do with Laurie and Trevor?” Caryss asked, trying to keep her eyes from filling up with tears.  This was the first she had spoken to anyone about it, and keeping it bottled up inside her was not helping matters any. 

        “I don’t know sweetie, but we’ll find out.  After you get what you need to from the library, I’m sure more things will make sense,” comforted Liz.  Stacie, up until this point, had been quiet, but now she was ready to talk.

        “It’s a warning,” she started, obviously thinking hard as she spoke.  “I don’t think it’s meant to threaten you.  It’s defiantly not from the person who’s planning on hurting you, as the message implies will happen.  “It’s almost like someone knows exactly what’s going down and they feel bad about it and they want to make themselves feel better by giving you a chance to leave before it happens.” 

        For the second time since the girls sat down at the restaurant, Liz and Caryss stared at Stacie in disbelief. 

        “I don’t know how you do it, but you are good, I’ll give you that,” said Caryss with a smile.  “That is such a perceptive analysis, I didn’t even think of that.”

        Stacie smiled, feeling very proud that she could shed such light on the situation.  “Don’t worry Car-bear, we’ll figure this whole thing out.  Nothing bad will happen.”

        I wish she would be right about that one, thought Caryss as she took a bite of her salad.  I love you to death Stacie, but I’m not so sure you’re going to be able to stop whatever is going to happen.  She looked at her watch and quickly finished her salad.  It was almost time, and she was ready.