Chapter 26

Four and a half months later....

            “Caryss Martin,” the technician called into the waiting area for the imaging department of the hospital.  Caryss turned to her sister with uncertainty and Laney gave her a reassuring smile. 

            “Go ahead; I’ll be in there with you as soon as they come get me,” Laney told her sister gently.  Caryss nodded her head and stood up from her chair, following the technician into the ultrasound room.  She had never once faltered about going through pregnancy, delivery, and raising a child on her own, but at that very moment, more than anything, she wished he was there with her. 

            When she realized she was pregnant, there was never an issue of what to tell him; she wasn’t going to tell him anything.  Even though she knew how difficult going through this by herself would be, she knew it would be a lot easier than bringing him back into her life and dealing with that drama.  She was so in love with him still that her heart literally ached at the thought of him, and she knew she would never love another that way.  She swore off love with men completely and turned her affections towards the baby inside her and the family that loved and supported her. 

            I need you now, but I cannot let you back into my life and my heart; you’re too careless with them, she sadly thought to herself, the baby’s slight movements in her belly an ever-present reminder of the man on her mind. 

            “Right in here,” the technician said, motioning for Caryss to walk into the room.  “My name is Angie Lynn and I’ll be doing your ultrasound today.”  She smiled at Caryss, and Caryss smiled back.  She felt comfortable with her already, and that was something she knew was very important, considering the circumstances surrounding the visit. 

            “Okay Caryss lie down on here,” Angie Lynn said, patting the bed, “and slide your pants down just past your hips and pull your shirt up to just under your chest.”  Angie Lynn grabbed a couple towels as Caryss did what she was told, and then Angie Lynn tucked one towel below her belly into her pants and one above it under her shirt to protect her clothes from the gel. 

            “This is going to be cold,” she warned as she squirted a glob of gel onto Caryss’s stomach, causing her to jump a little regardless of the warning.  There was a knock on the door and the door opened before anyone responded to the knock.  “Right on time Dr. Olsen,” said Angie Lynn as she set the bottle of gel back onto the ultrasound cart. 

            “Good morning Caryss, how are you feeling today?” Dr. Olsen asked sincerely as she walked around the bed and stood next to the monitor where the images of the baby would show up. 

            “Nervous,” responded Caryss honestly as she wiped a tear out of the corner of her eye. 

            Angie Lynn placed the ultrasound instrument on Caryss’s belly and Caryss craned her neck to see the monitor.  A few more tears fell from her eyes as she stared at the screen. 

            “Here’s the heart, nice strong beats,” said Angie Lynn, pointing to a spot on the monitor.  Caryss let out a deep breath, happy to receive one good piece of news so far.  Angie Lynn moved the instrument over Caryss’s stomach, gaining access to different angles.  Twenty-five minutes later, Dr. Olsen cleared her throat and Angie Lynn pulled the instrument off of Caryss’s belly. 

            “We are all done with what we needed to check, do you want us to bring your sister in here with you now?” Dr. Olsen asked.  Caryss nodded her head yes and Angie Lynn went to get her.  When Laney was positioned next to Caryss’s bed, Angie Lynn put the instrument back on Caryss’s belly and the image of the baby came right back onto the screen.  She moved it around, explaining to Caryss and Laney where each body part was and what they were looking at on the monitor. 

            “Is the baby okay?” asked Caryss suddenly.  She had wanted to ask that question since the first image came onto the screen but she knew that they wouldn’t be able to tell her anything until they were done looking at the baby. 

            “Angie will wipe the gel off, you can go to the bathroom, and then we’ll go to my office and talk,” said Dr. Olsen.  Caryss sat up after Angie cleaned off her belly and quickly went to the bathroom.  All she wanted to know was if there was something wrong with the baby and emptying her bladder was the last thing on her mind. 

            “I know this is scary sweetie, but no matter what she tells you, we’ll deal with it,” Laney told her sister as they walked down the hallway to Dr. Olsen’s office.  “I’ll be right here for you, you know that.” 

            “I know,” said Caryss softly, wiping another tear away.  When did my baby sister become older than me? she thought to herself.  Laney had her own family, yet here she was, taking care of her older sister, reassuring her that everything would be okay.  The two girls sat in the chairs placed in front of Dr. Olsen’s desk and waited for the news. 

            “Caryss,” Dr. Olsen began, “I’m going to ask you to do something that I know you’re not going to like, but it’s important for us and for the health of the baby.”  Dr. Olsen paused, waiting for a response from her patient.

            “Of course, I will do anything,” stammered Caryss, worry growing fierce from her words.

            “I need you get the family medical history for the father.  The ultrasound didn’t give us a clear enough picture of the baby and I think we are going to need to do an amniocentesis in order to diagnose the baby with Down syndrome but we can only do the amnio before twenty weeks.  You’re already nineteen weeks pregnant so we need to hurry.”

            “Why do you need the father’s medical history to do an amnio?” Caryss asked heatedly.  When she said she would do anything she didn’t think it would involve him. 

            “The amnio has some risks and I don’t want to do it unless it’s absolutely necessary.  If I have both parents’ family medical histories, it will make my decision a lot easier.  Is it a problem to get it?” 

            “No, it’s not a problem at all,” said Laney, butting in and answering for her sister without permission.  “We’ll get it to you by the end of the week.”  She grabbed Caryss’s hand and pulled her out into the hallway.  “What is wrong with you?  Just call Ryan and tell him you’re pregnant with his baby and you need to know if anyone in his family has ever had Down syndrome!”

            “I can’t do that!” yelled Caryss, tears rolling down her face. 

            “Why?  Because he’s in California?  Because you’re not in a relationship with him and you don’t want him to know?  There could be something wrong with the baby!”  Caryss did not say anything; she just stood there, crying, not able to look her sister in the eyes.  I can’t tell her the truth.  She will never forgive me if she knows I’ve been lying to her this whole time!

            “Caryss, listen to me,” said Laney, her voice and expression softening, “I know it’s a bad situation; Ryan was a creep, you didn’t know he was married when you slept with him and I know he broke your heart, but you have to do this.”

            “Laney, I--” Caryss started, wanting to tell her sister so badly.  She had been lying to everyone since she came back from California.  She had lied to her boss about why she came back so soon and why she wouldn’t be attending the gala, she hadn’t admitted to anyone what happened with Trevor or that she was even a part of it, even when her parents heard about it on the news and asked her if she knew what happened because she was staying at the same hotel.  When she found out she was pregnant, she made up this outrageous story that she met a guy named Ryan while working in California, they started dating, and then she found out he was married, they broke up and that’s why she can’t tell him she’s pregnant.  Lie after lie had been spewing from her mouth, and she felt badly for lying to everyone but that seemed to be the only way to numb the pain she felt in her heart. 

            “What is it Car?  You’re keeping something from me, I can tell.”

            “Ryan is not the father, there is no Ryan at all,” Caryss squeaked out, still not able to look her sister in the eye. 

            “What?  What are you talking about?  Why would you lie to me?  What’s going on?”

            “I’m sorry Lane, I didn’t want to but I didn’t know what else to do.  It hurts so much talking about him and thinking about him and I know this doesn’t make any sense but creating an alternate story and making up a person and a relationship and lying to everyone about it was easier than dealing with the truth!”  She buried her face in her hands and cried. 

            “Listen Caryss, I don’t know what happened in California or what is going on, and I know you’ll tell me when you’re ready so I’m okay with that, but there is something to need to do right now and you know it.”  Laney grabbed Caryss’s purse and fished her cell phone out of, then thrust it at her.  Caryss gingerly grabbed it out of her hand, swallowing hard.  Her hands were so moist with sweat from her nerves that she almost dropped it.

            “Just calm down and call him Caryss,” instructed Laney in an even tone.  She had no idea who Caryss needed to call, but now was not the time for petty inquiries.  Caryss nodded her head at her sister and took a deep breath.  She had never brought herself to take his number out of her phone, so she pressed the voice recognition button and said “Nick” into the phone.  Laney shot her a curious look but did not say anything to interrupt her phone call.                

            A few seconds after Caryss put the phone to her ear, Laney heard a male voice say “Hello” on the other end and she saw a flash of emotion in her sister’s eyes.  It’s so obvious she loves him, what happened between them to break them up and make her so hesitant to tell him she is pregnant with his baby?  Laney pondered the possibilities as she waited for her sister to say something, anything, into the phone. 

            “Say something,” Laney hissed at her sister after she heard the voice on the other end say “Hello” for a third time. 

            “Caryss, are you there?  What’s wrong?  Talk to me!” Nick yelled into the phone, waiting, pleading for Caryss to talk to him.  He had called her so many times in the past four months, but she never answered her phone or returned his calls.  He had been praying for her to call him, but he was never expected it to be for the reason she was about to lay on him. 

            “Yeah, Nick, I’m here,” she said hoarsely into the phone.  Before he could say anything else, she quickly jumped into to why she was calling.  “I need to know if anyone in your family has ever been born with Down syndrome.” 

            There was silence on the other end of the phone.  Nick did not know what to say and he didn’t understand why she would be calling him and asking him that of all things out of the blue.  He knew he needed to buy some time and he definitely needed to find a way for her to have to talk to him again after this call.

            “I honestly don’t know off the top of my head; I’ll have to check into it and get back to you,” he said, deciding that was the best way to ensure they talk again.  “I’ll call you when I find out.” 

            “Thank you,” she said flatly into the phone, fighting back the desire to talk to him about what happened that day four and half months ago.  She so desperately wanted answers, explanations, anything he could tell her to justify his actions.  Four and half months ago she swore to herself that she never wanted to hear it, but she missed him so much and she could not stand being without him.  All she wanted was for him to explain that incident on the beach away and make things better. 

            She snapped her phone shut suddenly, knowing that if she didn’t she wouldn’t be able to hang up at all.  Laney jumped a little at her sudden movement, her curiosity rising even more.  She had never seen her sister act this way, but then again there were a lot of things she didn’t know about her sister these days. 

            “He’s going to find out and get back to me,” Caryss told her sister with absolutely no emotion in her voice.  She shoved her cell phone back in her purse without looking at her sister.  “I’m sorry I’ve been lying to you; I just couldn’t face the truth.”  Laney wrapped her arms around her sister and kissed her on the cheek. 

            “When you’re ready, I’m here to listen,” she simply said.  “I’ll take you home.”

            “Can I go to your house?” Caryss asked vulnerably. 

            “Of course.” 

            Caryss walked out of the hospital, allowing her baby sister to guide her and comfort her.  They stepped outside into the hot, humid air that typically flowed through Chicago in July.

            “We better stop by your apartment and get your swimsuit,” said Laney as they pulled away from the hospital.  “You know Brice and Abby are not going to let you stay at the house without swimming.”

            Caryss chuckled at the thought of her niece and nephew.  Brice was four and Abby was two and a half, and those two would never let her sit around unless she was doing it with them.  “Yeah, let’s stop at my place; I can just pack an overnight bag and spend the night at your place again,” she said smiling.  Caryss had been spending an awful lot of nights at her sister’s house lately, but it sure beat being alone.