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Part XX

October and November were months that easily blended together in a flurry of painting and home improvements. The office was finished quickly, then the guest bedrooms, the halls, and the other rooms down stairs. Even the kitchen was refurbished, all in new appliances, counters, floors, cabinets and paint.
Marshall and Coral’s relationship was one of ironic platonic bliss. They never brought up that night. They never touched, did not flirt, there was no indication that anything had taken place at all. And it made both of them miserable.
Marshall hated how they pretended that nothing happened. That night had meant something to him and he was proud to say that he loved the woman. But he couldn’t say it out loud. It was an unspoken rule that they didn’t bring up the fact that at one point they had actually admitted love for the other person and made love together. No, it never happened.
As Coral had assumed, Marshall was going back into the studio and working diligently on his next album. Sometimes he’d be in the studio all day, not emerging until dinnertime. When he wouldn’t come up for lunch, she’d leave a plate of food outside the studio and dinner as well sometimes. She knew her time was limited in his home. Her time with him was coming to an end. She started taking on more catering jobs.
She knew that what he had mentioned, it had been a mistake. It wasn’t real. They’d just been high off of an infatuation, that’s all it was. They couldn’t really get married and have it all work out. It was an overactive fantasy and imagination. There was no point in being upset over it. Then why did it hurt so much?
She was almost beginning to wish he’d spend all of his time in the studio, or just tell her to leave. It hurt too much to have him around. To be around him when they’d been so close to something more. She wished that she had the strength to just get it over with, leave him all at once and get out. But she depended on him too much, and now, it wasn’t a good feeling.
She hadn’t told anyone what had happened. What Marshall had suggested, what she’d wanted to agree too as well. They knew she was divorced. She didn’t even tell Turkey about it. She’d never felt so lonely.

December first rolled around and Coral was making appointments with Jackie for parties and dinners at the restaurant. She wasn’t expecting to be anywhere for Christmas so she figured that she could work. Marshall was most likely going to go to Detroit to see Hailie and she wasn’t getting along with the family, so she’d be alone.
“Might as well get used to it,” she said to herself.
“Huh?” Marshall asked, coming into the kitchen, he’d been in the studio all morning.
“Oh, nothing, you hungry?” she asked, turning to him.
“Guess so. Hey, I’m gonna be going to New York for a few days, got to polish off the album, thought you might like to come along, have a little vacation. See the sites, go out to a ridiculously priced restaurant.” This even got her to laugh.
“I don’t know,” she shrugged, noncommital.
“Come on, I know you’ll love it, and you could get out of the house for a while too. We can take Oscar to the dog park, it’ll be nice,” Marshall tried.
“I think I should move out.” She replied bluntly.
“Why?” His voice was a lot colder than she expected.
“Because, you’re getting on with your life, I should do the same with mine. It’s time we stop pretending that we’re all right with this situation. Pretending like nothing happened when it did.”
“Coral come on,” Marshall tried, moving towards her.
“I hate to tell you this, but it hurts. It hurts being around here and knowing what happened and pretending that it didn’t. And it’s not just your fault. It’s mine too. I should have left a long time ago, and I didn’t,” Coral went to the cabinet and took out plates, making up food for both of them.
“So we can’t even be friends now?”
“We can be friends, we just can’t live together, no.” She wouldn’t look at him.
“So what are we supposed to be then? Huh, just walk away, like nothing happened? Become a phone call on the opposite sides of the country once in a while?” he snapped.
“I don’t know what else to tell you. Besides, you’re gonna be on the road soon enough, you won’t need me anymore. And I’ve got to get back to a real job, and back to a real life. I’ve got to move on. You’re not gonna be around, and, I’m too dependent on you .” She kept her back to him. She heard him breathing hard through his nose.
“All right then. Well, I guess you said your piece,” he tried to remain calm.
“Here,” she turned and held out the plate.
“I’m really not that hungry now.” He turned and walked away, but stopped in the doorway.
“There’s another ticket in the drawer next to my bed, the flight leaves at noon tomorrow, if you change your mind.” He was gone.
Coral sat down at the counter and rested her head in her hands. It was hard not to cry, but she didn’t want to cry. No, that was a lie too. She wanted to cry, and be angry, and upset, that she wasn’t with the man she wanted to be with and for all the stupid reasons too. She was glad he was going to New York. It would give her the time she needed to move out of the house and get away from him.
Not that she wanted to have to get away from him. But she had to be realistic. That’s what had always hurt her before. She was too in the clouds. But now, now she could be realistic. She was gonna move in with Turkey until she found an apartment suitable enough and then work with Jackie. She’d eventually find a nice man, settle down, maybe have some kids if he was the right kind. Life would be simple. Just work.

That night she heard Marshall walking around in his room. He was probably packing. It was what she was doing.

“No man, I’m serious, I told her I wanted to stay married to her, and then, then Paul called and it was all shot to hell, I don’t know what I’m doing,” Marshall said as he paced, the phone held firmly to his ear.
“Em, let the girl go. You ain’t gonna have time for her. You’re putting out a new album and you need to get over her. You need to get on with it, and she needs to get back to normal, as do you. You’re too hung up on her,” Bizarre replied.
“I know I’m fucking nuts to say it, but I’m sick of playing the game Bizzy. I don’t want to look around. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life saying happy birthday to my daughter over the phone. I don’t want to spend Christmases in hotels and at industry parties. I’m sick of hooking up.”
“Then don’t. Just chill out and lay low for a while.”
“I’m also sick of being alone.”
“Then get a hooker.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about Bizzy.”
“Then what do you want? Huh? A new wife and a set a twins? Marshall, you can’t have everything. You were married twice, you got a kid, you rap, let it go. You got more than most people have.”
“That doesn’t make it right.” Bizarre let out a hard sigh.
“Look man. Either take her with you to New York, tell her that you want her, or let it go. If you’s so hung up, and you’s so sure, then you better do something. Cause man, if she’s been staying with you, this long, the second you’re out of that house, she’s gonna be long gone, and you will never see her again.” Marshall was quiet for a moment.
“You really think she’d leave?”
“That’s the way women work. I’m telling you man, she wants to get on with her life too. I mean, she likes you, and you’re acting like you don’t want her. How long could you deal with that?” He had a point.
“I’ve just barely dealt with being around her. It’s driving me insane.”
“Let her go man, I’m telling you, it’s going to better in the long run.” Marshall didn’t speak for a long time.
“I should start packing, plane leaves at noon.” Bizarre understood.
“All right man, talk to you soon, take care of yourself.” Marshall nodded, even though he knew his friend couldn’t see him and hung up.
He slung the phone across the bed and allowed himself to sink down on it and sit. His hands cradled his skull as he wondered what was happening to him.
Coral was leaving him. He could feel it, and he hated it. Hated himself. He’d managed to fuck up something else in his life, something that had been the best thing he’d felt in a long time.
Growling he got up and went to his closet, haphazardly stuffing in some t-shirts, wife beaters, baggy jeans and sweat pants, everything he wore. When his packing was finished, messy as it was he sat down again, allowing himself to fall back on the bed. Oscar trotted over and licked his face.
“Oh hey little guy,” Marshall laughed. The dog licked his face again and climbed up on his chest to lay down.
“Don’t worry, you’re coming with me. At least you can keep me company,” he ruffled the dog’s ears.
“Great, now I’m talking to a dog, Oscar, you’re old man has lost it.” The dog looked at him lopsided and licked him again.
“Can’t wait to here what Dre says when he sees I’ve got a Weiner dog, I’ll never here the end of it,” Marshall thought, petting the dog again.
“Ah, to the hell with them all, I liked the damn dog, and Oscar, you’re a pretty damn good dog. Even though you’re less than a foot tall, and twice as long, you’re still a big dog.” Oscar yipped and wagged his tail.
“I’ve really lost it.”

Coral wasn’t around the morning. Coffee and pancakes were left out for him. Cody was in his cage, singing some little tune and there was a note on the counter.
“There’s sandwiches in the refrigerator and I packed Oscars food, treats, toys and bed for him. Have a good trip, Coral.” He read the note over several times and shook his head. She was avoiding him. She was leaving him. It was obvious.
He downed the coffee, managed to stuff a few bites of pancake down his neck before tucking Oscar into his cage and collecting his things for the airport. He breezed past Coral’s door and then doubled back to stand there and stare at it.
He knocked, once, twice, three times, she wasn’t in there. He didn’t care anymore. If she was leaving him, he had a right to know.
He popped the door open and went inside. Her bed was made and it was impeccably clean. He looked around, looked at her photo on the wall. That was her all right. He wished he knew what to do to make her stay, but there really wasn’t anything left to say.
He sat down on the side of her bed, looking at the clock and the picture of her with Turkey on the bedside table.
Knowing it was a bad idea, he laid down and snuggled into her pillow. Smelling her shampoo, her hair, her perfume. It was a bad idea to lay down on her bed and wish she was here. Especially when he’d be on the other side of the country in ten hours. He stole the pillow case and stuffed it in his pocket before hurrying out of the room and dumping his things in the car.

Marshall arrived on time at the airport, checked his bags and waited in the lounge to be called on board. Oscar was happily squirming around in his bag. He had to remember to take Oscar out on the lay over in Chicago. He didn’t want to be cleaning up that on an airplane.
The stewardess told him he could board, so he grabbed his carry on and Oscar, and trudged to the terminal door.
Once he was settled, Oscar in the seat beside him, his bag in the overhead, he suddenly was tired, very tired. He curled up in the corner waiting for the plane to take off, and fell asleep.
He woke up abruptly when the plane lurched forward. They were taxiing off the runway. He settled down again and closed his eyes, hoping he could sleep all the way to Chicago.
“Do you know, how hard it is, to find a traveling cage, for a bird, huh, do you? Especially at seven am?” Marshall’s eyes flew open.
“Coral?”
“No, Wonder Woman, who else would be running around with a parrot in a cage?” she asked, holding up Cody.
“But you, you said, you were,” Marshall stuttered.
“I needed a vacation. So come on, move Oscar over, I need to put this bird down.”