I spun around quickly to see a very confused and very hurt Ryan. “R-Ryan? What the hell are you doing here?” I asked quickly. I immediately wished I hadn’t said that as I realized how incredibly rude it came off.
“I was about to ask you that,” he yelled, partly because he was angry and partly because the music was blasting through the speakers. “Can I see you outside?” I sighed and nodded, then turned to look at Nick. He looked confused, yet I couldn’t blame him.
“Ryan, I live here now,” I muttered, answering his question about what I was doing here.
“Okay, that makes since. You live here now, so of course you’re going to go out and grind with other guys. I mean, you’re engaged but who cares?” He spat out sarcastically. I sighed and closed my eyes.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said and looked down at the ground. “It wasn’t a big deal.” I lied; clearly knowing it was a huge deal.
“It wasn’t a big deal? Rachel, are you serious? We’re engaged, for Christ’s sake! You’re all over some other man and we’re engaged!” He yelled.
“Ryan, Nick’s just an old friend!” I lied, once again. He was an old friend, but he meant more than that to me. I knew it and he knew it.
“You know what, I don’t know who to believe right now,” Ryan folded his arms across his chest and stared at me. I had never seen him so angry before. “Your mom was right. She told me after you left that I should be worried. I tried to push her thoughts to the back of my mind, but after you didn’t call and didn’t call, I got worried.”
“Worried about me or worried about what I was doing?” I placed my hands on my hips. The anger was beginning to build up in me.
“Both,” he answered. “Your mom told me all about Nick. When I saw you at the hotel I figured I had nothing to worry about, but then you went to go get sushi and…” he trailed off, realizing he had blown his cover.
“You’ve been following me?” I yelled loudly. That was it. I knew I had blown Ryan’s trust, but he had just blown mine. “I can not believe you. I understand you’re upset and mad, but that’s not any reason to stalk me, Ryan.”
“Sorry for thinking you were hurt or something terrible had happened to you!” He yelled back sarcastically. “How do you think I felt when I saw you with him? Huh? Do you realize how much you hurt me?”
I, honestly, didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry.” I muttered. “But do you realize how hurt I am to know that you didn’t trust me enough to go away for a while and sort through a million different feelings and emotions? You’re supposed to trust me, Ryan.”
“I did trust you, until now. I went to the hotel to find you and make sure you were okay. As I was sitting in the lobby, I just happened to see you and that blonde man whore walk by, so I followed you,” he spat in my face.
I was a bitch. That was the end of my sweet, kind, loving side. “I-I’m sorry.” I stuttered. “I know I hurt you and I’m sorry. I got cold feet, Ryan. That’s the honest to God truth. I got scared. I needed to sort through these feelings.”
He seemed to soften since I began to soften. “And what did you find?” He asked me.
“I-I don’t know,” I looked down at the pavement to try and hide the tears that had started to fall. “I don’t know yet.” I repeated.
He took my hand in his. “I love you, Ray. I, honestly, do. But if you still don’t know by tomorrow morning what you want, then I’ll be headed back to Tampa on a plane by 9:00. I won’t expect our relationship to continue.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Yes, I'm finally home! I had a wonderful vacation but I'm so excited to be back. I'm actually home a day or so early, but it was time to come back. Please review! I hope I didn't lose any readers during that break!
