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CHAPTER 12

Nick Narrating

It was April 14th and we were all in Georgia. I hadn’t seen Haley since dinner. I mean sure I called her, but I couldn’t do that too much because then I just had to go take a cold shower. And when I say cold I mean like 35 degrees. And even that didn’t always work.

I don’t know why, but every time I thought about her I had this overwhelming urge to well, have sex. That was very different than the overwhelming urge to poke my eyes out like when I was with Paris. Don’t get me wrong that was good sex, I mean, why else would I stay with her for that long, but still.

I knew Haley’s birthday was tomorrow, but I didn’t know what to get her. I had thought about every possibility, but I couldn’t find one that seemed good enough. It was only 9:15. I could call her.

Haley Narrating

My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. It was the number I’d just recently memorized as Nick’s.

“Hey.” I said.

“Happy almost birthday!” he said. I didn’t think he’d remember.

“Thanks.”

“So, I was just bored, and I hadn’t talked to you in a while.”

“Nick, you called me at three and seven o’clock tonight.”

“Well, still. It seemed like a while.” He always knew what to say to things like that didn’t he?

“I’m glad I could keep you occupied.”

“You’d be able to do a much better job of that if you were here. I could think of a million things we could do.”

“Really. Like what?”

“Sex.”

“Well, at least your honest.”

“So, I was just wondering, when am I gonna see you again?”

“I don’t know. When do your shows end?”

“The 18th. When is your cheerleading over?”

“Our last competition is the 17th.”

“Where is it?”

“Disney World.”

“Cool. Maybe I could come see you after that or something.”

“Sure. I’d love that.”

Nick Narrating

Good. I’d love it more though. “So, would you have sex with me then?”

“Maybe.” Did I say that out loud too? Jesus I had to learn what it sounded like to think. So, is maybe a yes or a no? That time I know I was thinking, not talking. Except that I really wanna know.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“I don’t know. You’ll just have to use your Carter charm and get me to fall for you.”

“Trust me, I will.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Okay, so she wasn’t ruling out sex. She said I’d have to use the Carter charm. The only problem was the Carter charm didn’t seem to work with her. I usually ended up saying something I thought I was only thinking. I had to stop that. Maybe after we had sex I’d be able to stop.


Haley Narrating

Last night I had a great birthday party. In Disney World! Our competition was today and tomorrow. I was so nervous. We hadn’t been able to stay up too late because we had to wake up really early this morning. We competed pretty early. We got done at like four, so we’d be able to be in the parks the rest of the night.




Our competition went fairly well. We could have done better with a lot of our tumbling, so we were hoping to improve that tomorrow. We showered and everything as fast as we could and we were waiting for a bus to get to MGM by 5:30. I couldn’t wait to ride the Tower of Terror.

We got on the bus and Danielle immediately started dancing to ring tones on her phone. She was in a very good mood today.

Nick Narrating

Our show was over and me, AJ, and Brian decided to do something together. None of us felt like going out, but the only thing we could think of to do in our hotel was play a board game. We knew we had a few on our bus, we just didn’t know which ones. So the three of us snuck out of the hotel and snuck out to our tour bus. Now you understand nobody thought to get the keys, so we couldn’t open the door.

“That window’s open.” Brian said. It was open, but it was too high for any of us to reach. Unless…





AJ Narrating

I was standing on Nick’s fucking shoulders trying to get into the fucking bus. And no, we couldn’t just walk back inside and get the keys. That would be too easy. “Why do I have to crawl through the fucking window?” I asked.

“Because you’re the skinny one.” Nick screamed. Damn my tiny ass and chicken legs. “And hurry up. You’re getting heavy.”

“Fuck off Carter.”

“Do you wanna be on the ground jackass?”

“I’m gonna be if you don’t quit moving. I know I turn you on, but squirming isn’t going to help you!”

“I’d quit moving if you could get your tiny ass through the window.”

“My head would be through if you’d quit moving!” Eventually dumbass Carter stopped moving around long enough for me to crawl through the window. I walked over to the door and opened it for them to get in.

“Finally Bone. Took you long enough.”

“Fuck off Carter. You didn’t just stand on your shoulders. And by the way, while I was climbing up I noticed a little something.” I walked them over to Nick’s bunk. I showed them the under side of it. There was a row of what had to be like thirty condoms taped to the top. “Do you plan on having sex with the other four of us on the bus? Because I really don’t need to hear that. I’ll leave that for the limo drivers.”

“Shut up. There’s a big bathroom and the bus makes a lot of noise. You didn’t know the last time I-”

“You’ve has sex on this bus? While I was on it? When?”

“When we were driving to Chicago.”

“Ah, ah, horrible images in my mind. Please don’t ever have sex while I am like two feet away ever again.”

“Well,”

“Jesus Carter, I didn’t know I turned you on that much. I didn’t think you’d be waiting for me in the bathroom!”

“Shut up. I didn’t plan it.”

“Well you’re obviously planning future adventures.” I said gesturing towards the row of condoms taped on the ceiling of his bunk.

“Those are just in case there’s someone who just can’t resist my charm.” Yeah, he was thinking about Haley. I could see it.

“Why did you look at me when you said that?” I wanted to know.

“I didn’t. I was actually looking at Brian.”

“He’s married dude. Give up the dream. So seriously, who was it with?”

“Shauna.”

“Our publicist Shauna?!” He nodded his head. “She’s like forty!”

“What can I say? I’m irresistible to women of all ages.”

“You guys,” Brian said, “can we please just get a board game?” Oh yeah. In all the talk about sex I had forgotten all about that. I think Nick had too. Except sex usually did make him lose his train of thought.

We looked at the board games. There were only two. Monopoly and Yahtzee. “I say Monopoly.” Brian said. Me and Nick agreed and we carried it into the hotel. It wasn’t until we were almost on the elevator that we realized there was a huge hole in the box. Then we looked back the way we came and saw a huge trail of Monopoly pieces. There were a few pieces of money, the boat, the boot, and houses all over the place.

“Shit.” We all muttered at the same time. All three of us started running back to pick up the pieces. I was still holding the box too. So here we are, three grown men picking up Monopoly pieces at 11:00 at night in a hotel lobby. Then we looked outside and there was a trail of paper money all the way to the bus.

And then there was wind. A lot of wind. So I got the pleasure of watching Nick and Brian chase the money in the wind like their lives depended on it. Nick was actually jumping to catch some too. Who’s idea was it to play a board game again?

They finally decided they had caught all the money they could and we walked back inside. This time I was careful to not let anything else fall out of the box. We successfully got all the way up to my room, and we even got the game set up before we started arguing again.

“I wanna be the boot!” Nick yelled. “That way I can shove my foot up your ass when you piss me off.”

“You’d like to shove something else up my ass wouldn’t you Nicky?” He walked right into that one. “You be the dog. You like it doggy style.” I finally convinced him to be the dog after describing him doing Haley doggy style. He apparently liked that image. So I got to be the boot and Brian chose the racecar.

That was fucking pathetic. The three of us just chased paper money down the street and then we fought over who got to be the boot.

Haley Narrating

We had a great time at the parks. I loved when we were there right until the park closed and then you had to practically knock people over to get on the buses. We always got one of the first busses because if Jess was with us she just flirted her way to the front of the line, or if Danielle was with us she just knocked people over. So it was basically a win win.

I loved everything about Disney World. They paid so much attention to detail, and while you were there you could forget about everything else. I never thought about work or anything else in my real life while I was there. That was why I hated leaving. Sometimes I just couldn’t face going back to reality after being in Disney World. I mean if you had to choose between working everyday and Mickey Mouse who would you pick? You would pick fucking Mickey Mouse!

Nick Narrating

“Dammit AJ, give me Park Place!”

“No! You have Boardwalk and if you get Park Place you’ll have a Monopoly! Then I’m totally fucked if you put houses on it!”

“AJ I have literally twelve dollars. I can’t even afford to put houses on the shitty purple properties! Now fucking give me Park fucking Place!!!”

“NO! I don’t wanna!”

Haley Narrating

When we got back to our hotel we went straight for the food court. We had this tradition where we got popcorn every night we were there and then ate it while we made fun of the shows on the Disney channel. All four of us were staying in a room together. It sounded stupid, but that was another thing I loved about Disney world. You could stay in the smallest room, with twelve other people, but since you were hardly ever in the room it didn’t matter.

We got back to our room and started watching Disney shows. Obviously they didn’t hold our attention for very long, so we started talking about random things. As they were talking about something completely stupid I noticed something in the bedspread. There were a bunch of Mickey heads hidden in it!

“You guys look! There’s Mickey’s in the bedspread!” I screamed. So then of course we spent the next hour finding every single one of them in the entire room. That was probably going to be another tradition.

Brian Narrating

That was probably the most fun I’d had in a really long time. Nick finally convinced AJ to give him Park Place since he didn’t have any money to put houses on it. Turns out that Nick had been hiding almost two thousand dollars under the game board so he put hotels on it right away. Basically because of that, Nick won the entire game.

Now, you understand the game lasted over four hours, so it was 3:30 in the morning. And I could still hear Nick screaming about his victory as I walked to my room. He wasn’t a good winner, and AJ wasn’t a good loser, so I made sure I left before they had another argument.

I do have to say doing stupid shit like that with Nick and AJ made everything worth it. That’s why we did this. That’s why we put up with everything. It was so we could be playing Monopoly at three o’clock in the morning.