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CHAPTER 18

Nick Narrating

“I don’t wanna go.” I said. I sounded like a two year old didn’t I?”

“I don’t care. You have to. It’s only dinner. Besides it’s not like you have to go eat with people you don’t like!”

“But I don’t wanna go.”

“I don’t care.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes.”

“Will you make me feel manly when we get back?” I thought it was about time I brought that back. Then she rolled her eyes.

“Fine.”

“Will you eat fast?”

“No. I will eat at a normal pace, and so will you. Now go get ready.”


I rang the doorbell at Kevin’s house. I didn’t want to be here. I just wanted to be back in the room with Haley. Not even to have sex. Well yeah, but just to be with her too. I liked to just hang out with her.

“Hi.” Kristin said as she opened the door.

“Hi. I’m Haley.”

“Nice to meet you. Come on in. Everyone else is in the living room.” So we went into the living room and everyone was there. The guys, Leighanne, Baylee, everyone. I guess if I had thought about it that pretty much was everyone, but as usual I hadn’t thought about it.

“Hey Nick.” AJ said. “Hello Haley.” He was talking in that sexy voice. Not that I thought it was sexy or anything. Just, you know.

“No hitting on her AJ.” I said.

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I cannot control the beast inside of me.”

“Well, you’re going to have to.”

“Not gonna happen.” Brian said. “He’s still hitting on Leigh. And I’ve got a kid.”

“Maybe once you have like six or seven I’ll lay off.”

“Uncle Nick,” Baylee said, “who dat?” he said pointing to Haley.

“That’s Haley.” I said.

“Is Hawey your girlfriend?” Shit. That’s one of those questions I should know isn’t it? Was she? If I say no she might be mad, but if I say yes she might get freaked out. I looked at her. Then she bent down and answered the question for me.

“Yes. I am. And I brought you a toy.” She had brought him a toy. I think it was a coloring book or something. I wasn’t sure. She said he was bound to get bored at this dinner, so she should bring him something to do. She said he would have a short attention span because he was only two. Then she said I should know a lot about it since I acted like a two year old all the time.

“I like this girl Uncle Nick. Hold on to her.” Everyone laughed at that as he walked over to Brian to show him his new coloring book.

Haley Narrating

“I’m going to go work on dinner.” Kristin said. Leighanne followed her. I guess that was my cue to go too. I followed Leighanne into the kitchen.

Good God the house was fucking bigger than my entire apartment building. I was lucky I had someone to follow into the kitchen or I’d have been lost there for a week.

“Well,” I said, “I can’t cook at all, but I can help with something else.”

“That’s no problem.” Kristin said. “Here’s a little secret. We don’t cook most of it anyway. I had half of this catered.” Oh. Good to know.

“Yeah.” Said Leighanne, “you’ll fit right in with us.” They were trying a little too hard to be nice, you could tell. But I guess it was better than them ignoring me completely.

AJ Narrating

So I sat there watching as Nick watched Haley walk into the kitchen.

“Dude, you’re totally whipped.”

“No I’m not! Fuck off AJ.” Probably shouldn’t have said that in front of the two year old huh? I should start to think before I speak. But then there were the times when I thought I was thinking, but really I was talking. Those times could screw a person over sometimes. You could get yourself into some serious shit.

“You just watched her every step as she walked into the kitchen. If that’s not whipped I don’t know what is.”

“Whipped is when you do everything she tells you to do.” That’s when we heard Haley yell from the kitchen.

“Nick, I left my cell phone in the car. Would you go get it?”

“Sure.” He said.

“Yeah.” I said. “You’re not whipped at all.”

“Actually Haley,” he said. Oh great now the fuck was gonna piss her off just to prove to us that he’s not whipped. That was brilliant. “I can’t right now.”

“I don’t really care if they’re telling you you’re whipped. Suck it up, be a man, and please go get my cell phone.”

“How did you know they were calling me whipped?” They were having a fucking conversation by screaming from room to room. No one cared, we did that all the time, but usually the girls get annoyed. Leigh and Kristin were used to it, but I guess Haley didn’t care.

“We discussed this before. AJ and I are basically the same person, so I know what he would do.”

That opportunity was too good to pass up. “I knew I turned you on Carter. But since you couldn’t have me you went out and got the girl version of me?”

“You were just too much man for him AJ.” Cool, Brian was on my side. Brian’s side always won arguments.

“I didn’t get the girl version of you AJ.” Then to Haley he yelled, “Seriously how did you know?”

“Psychic I guess.”

“Do you still want me to get your phone?”

“No. I have it right here. I just wanted to see what you would say.”


“Baylee, why don’t you go help mommy in the kitchen.” Brian said.

“Why’d you send him away?” I asked.

“I figured the talk about Nick’s sex life was coming up. My two year old son doesn’t need to hear that.”

“It is a pretty extensive topic.”

“So, are we going to talk about my sex life?” Nick asked.

“Well, since Brian brought it up…”

“Fine. I have more of one that D does.”

“We wanted to hear something we didn’t know. No offense D.”

“None taken. I’m used to it now. Actually saw it coming.”

“Well,” said Nick, “what do you want to know?”

“Do you really like her?” Kevin asked.

“Yeah.”

“Does she really like you?”

“I hope so.”

“What are you guys going to do for the rest of the time you’re here?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is she staying the whole time we’re here?”

“I don’t know. Will you stop grilling me now?”

“No. One more question.”

“What?”

“Are you happy?”

“Yeah. More so than I have been in a long time.”

“Good.” I didn’t know he was happy. I figured they were just doing it. I didn’t know he really cared about her. Sure I should have seen the signs. The way he stared at her all the time, the way he was actually happy. I guess I didn’t think that much about it. That was the difference between me and Kevin. Kevin thought shit up to worry about. I worried about what was in front of me.

Haley Narrating

“Mommy, Daddy told me to come help you.” He was really cute. He was still carrying around that coloring book too. I guess he liked it.

“Well,” said Leighanne, “why don’t you sit right here and color in your new coloring book while me, Kristin, and Haley go in the other room to set the table.”

“I don’t want to be alone.”

“Well,”

“I could stay with him.” I said.

“Yeah!” said Baylee. I guess he liked the idea.

“Okay. Haley will stay with you while you color in your coloring book and me and Aunt Kristin will be in the other room.”

Leighanne Narrating

Kris was already in the dining room setting out nine plates for everyone here.

“Kris,” I said, “do you like Haley? Do you think she’s good for Nick?”

“I think so. I don’t know her that well. But from the first impression she seems okay.”

“That’s what I was thinking too. I heard Nick say from the living room that she makes happy.”

“Well, that’s good. That’s important in a relationship. You can’t want to kill each other. Then I don’t think it would last.”

“No.” I said.

“The thing that gets me, is she’s not like the other girls Nick has dated.”

“I know. Brian told me she was valedictorian in high school.”

“Then she’s definitely not like the other girls Nick has dated.”

“Yeah. And she seems really nice. You can’t act that nice and really be a total bitch right?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Brian also told me she’s not really slutty.”

“Then once again, she’s definitely not like the other girls Nick has dated.”

“No. She is pretty though.”

“Yeah. Very.”

Brian Narrating

I was sent into the kitchen to see when dinner was ready. I walked in to see Haley sitting with my son at the table helping him color his coloring book. However the wives were no where to be found.

“Hi Haley.” I said.

“Hi.”

“Daddy, Hawey’s helping me color.” He held up a picture of a sailboat on the ocean. I could see the tiny part of the water that Haley colored. That must be the blue part rather than the big yellow part of the water.

“Well, I hope you’re having fun. Where’s mommy and Aunt Kristin?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t?”

“No.” I turned to Haley for a little help.

“They’re in the dining room. They’re setting the table.”

“Thanks.” I walked into the dining room to see them with only plates and napkins on the table. I could tell they had been talking because they stopped as soon as I walked in.

“So what were you talking about?” I asked.

“Nothing important.”

“Don’t lie.”

“Well, we were talking about Haley.” Leigh answered.

“Well, what do you think of her?”

“We think she’s nice. But we don’t know why Nick’s with her. She seems so different from all the other girls Nick has dated.”

“I know. That’s why we like her.”

“Does he like her?”

“Yeah. Very much. I haven’t’ seen him like this in a long time. Actually I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this way.”

AJ Narrating

I sucked at charades. But that’s what we were playing. Nick was sitting in the middle of the floor trying to decide what to do for his skit. Then he started like humping the floor. At least that’s what it looked like. I didn’t know what the hell it was, but then something occurred to me.

“You and Haley last night!”

“No.”

“You and Haley this morning!”

“NO!”

“You and Haley this afternoon!”

“Dammit AJ it’s not me and Haley.”

“You and Shauna on the bus!”

“NO!!!!”

“What was it then?”

“It was someone giving CPR.”

“It looked more like someone giving a BJ.”

“Shut up AJ and get down here.”

“I’m not giving you a bj Carter. God, control yourself.” We all knew he couldn’t do that.