CHAPTER 24
HALEY NARRATING
Okay, this was kind of weird. I’m not going to lie and tell you it was cool. It was just fucking weird. We were about ready to do a radio interview at Z100 with all the guys. Recently it had been decided that only five of us would be doing promotion because an entire team would be too much. Had to suck for everyone else on the team huh? Oh well, not my problem.
We were almost ready to go on the air and I had no idea what to expect. Were we going to be answering questions or were they? I mean a girl could really do with a little more information here.
“Okay,” said some radio station guy, “we go on the air in two minutes.” Shit.
“So guys,” said the DJ, “tell us why there are five gorgeous ladies with us today.”
“Well,” of course Kevin answered, “we chose to sponsor a sport, and we decided on cheerleading. At one competition a few months ago whoever won got a $5,000 prize from us for their gym.”
“And these guys won?”
“Yes. Their team the Southington Cyclones All-stars won and these-”
“Yeah we won.” Danielle said. Great she’d totally cut Kevin off. That was a spectacular way to start the interview. “We’re just that good.”
“Danielle!” I said. Shit. I had kind of been planning on not talking throughout this interview. Well, I was doing an awesome job at that now wasn’t I?
“What?” Great now I had to respond.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because we are that good. Calm down I’m only kidding. We work hard, probably just as hard if not harder than other athletes.” That was better. Although she did kind of answer right the first time too. We are pretty damn good.
“Okay. Moving on.” Said the DJ. “Now I have to ask, why cheerleading?”
“Well,” oh now it was Howie. That was an interesting twist. “although we have some male fans most of our fan base is female, and cheerleading is also predominately female, so we thought it was the perfect sport to sponsor.”
“Now hold on.” Shit. Danielle was talking. Not again. Fuck. We were destined to look stupid in this interview weren’t we? She had a point to prove too. You could tell. “You have to understand that cheerleading isn’t a bunch of stupid blond people jumping up and down for football players anymore. We work hard and we’re not stupid. We don’t even cheer at games. A lot of us used to in high school or something, and most of us hated the games because they were boring. We like competing much better.”
I better start talking before Danielle doesn’t stop. “Yeah. Competing is a lot more fun. Especially when you win.” I don’t know why I said that. I just had to shut Danielle up or we’d be kicked out.
“I can understand that.” Said the DJ. “Now, we’ve got the boring questions you’ve all answered a million times, but we gotta ask, what’s the new album like?” Fuck if I know. I’ll let the guys answer this.
“Well,” oooh, Brian. They’re really broadening their horizons now. “it’s basically grown up Backstreet Boys. It’s still pop, but it’s got more of a rockier twist to it.”
They kept answering boring questions that all the fans probably already knew the answers to from downloading other interviews, but oh well. We didn’t have to talk much about it because we didn’t know the answers. Well, I knew some of the answers because I downloaded an interview or two myself, but hey there wasn’t much to do in the hotel room when you have to compete the next day so you’re in bed at like eleven. I was bored what can I say?
“Brian, you’re a Backstreet Dad now am I correct?” blah blah blah.
“What were you doing over the break?” Better question for Nick would be who were you doing over the break. When they asked this question you know who answered? Nick. I was shocked too. Couldn’t believe he actually knew the answers. Not just for himself too, for all of them. That’s how many times they’d answered that question. NICK knew the answer.
“Why did you call the album Never Gone?” Why the fuck do you think? Maybe because they took a break. Or maybe because they have a song called that. Nope. Couldn’t be it. Then Kevin answered. (it was a vicious cycle. I finally had the others talking and Kevin just can’t tear himself away). Oh. My. God. I was right. Those were the reasons. Who would have thought.
Things started to get interesting when…
“Now,” said the DJ, “everyone’s wondering five cheerleaders, three single guys. There’s gotta be something going on. Someone has to have hooked up.”
SHIT.
Nick Narrating
FUCK!
Brian Narrating
SHIT.
Kevin Narrating
DAMMIT. I knew the little prick shouldn’t have gotten involved with her. Too many questions.
Howie Narrating
Uh. Oh!
AJ Narrating
Now, this is some funny shit right here. This just made my fucking day.
HALEY NARRATING
“I see some panicked looks here. What’s up with that?” Nick and Kevin were just looking at each other like oh fuck. Well, that’s how Nick was looking at Kevin. Kevin was pretty much looking at Nick like you dumbass. And since I was sitting next to AJ I just looked at him and we started laughing. I mean, what else are you going to do?
“I see a little something between Haley and AJ.” Said the DJ. What do I say? Seriously. Nick come on say something. You’re the experienced one at this. You just answered one question. Let’s go big. Let’s go for two in one interview.
Instead AJ just put his arm around me and said, “Hell yes.”
“Fuck you!” Nick said.
“Nick! You’re on the radio. You can’t say that!” Kevin said.
“Shit. Oh fuck.” He did not learn very fast did he?”
“You um, wanna clue us into the things going on behind the scenes here?”
Good Kevin was about to answer. Because apparently if Nick answered he’s just be swearing the whole time. It was pretty funny though if you want the truth. Although I think Kevin is going to physically hurt him in every way he can imagine as soon as he walks out the door. Asking about me was one thing, but then the swearing kind of made Kevin a little angry. I just can’t seem to understand why.
“Well, Nick and Haley have been dating for about a month or so now.”
“Really?” said the DJ, “that is very interesting.”
“I just have the most amazing story to tell you guys.” AJ said.
NICK NARRATING
That fucker. I couldn’t believe he was going to actually tell the story. Fine. Then for another interview I was going to have to dream up something about AJ to tell. Maybe Haley would help me humiliate him somehow. Yeah, no she wouldn’t do that. I only would because I still act like I’m ten years old, but oh well.
“Really, what’s that?” the DJ asked.
“It’s the description of their first date. I’ll start with how he asked her out. First he came to all of us individually for advice on that. He couldn’t do it on his own. My role was to pretend one of her friends left a jacket at one of our shows that they went had gone to. Haley would come over and get it. But it was just some random jacket that was a youth medium, so Haley totally saw right through it. That’s what you get for having a girlfriend that’s smarter than you Nicky.”
Now he is just starting to piss me off. What a little fuck. I didn’t know Haley had figured that out. Now I just felt stupid.
“And then when he did go on the date they had nothing to talk about, so Haley decided to hi-jack the limo and rent Bring It On. So Nick’s sitting here watching Bring It On and that part where the girl’s having cheer sex with the guy in the stands comes on-”
“How do you know about the cheer sex part?” I asked. Maybe I could change the subject.
“It’s Bring It On, my favorite movie. Of course I know about the cheer sex part. So then Nick asked Haley if she would have cheer sex with him, and she was like whatever, so Nick asks what about real sex?”
“I didn’t mean to. It just kinda slipped out!”
“Of course it did. So finally the movie ends and they decide to go get ice cream. They’re sitting peacefully eating ice cream when Nick notices a few girls who recognized him. Instead of just signing something or taking a picture he grabbed Haley and started running. The girls caught on and started chasing them. So Haley managed to devise a plan to lose them and they went back to the limo where Nick soon realized that he was already late for our show that night. So Haley had to drive him to the show. And that was their first date.”
AJ NARRATING
Well, that was fun. I should be a story teller.
HALEY NARRATING
It did sound pretty bad.
Then the DJ asked, “and you went on a second date. You got lucky Nick.”
“I know.” He said.
“Seriously Haley, why did you take the second date if the first one was so bad?” I started to answer when Danielle answered first.
“Look at him. He’s hot. Hell I’d have taken the second date.”
NICK NARRATING
So the interview was over and I was looking for AJ to go beat the shit out of him. He’s small. I could take him. Instead Kevin came over to me.
“You’re a fucking idiot Nick!”
“What?”
“You said fuck on the radio.”
“Oh yeah. Woops.”
“Woops? Is that all you have to say?”
“Um, yeah that pretty much sums it up.”
“You had more to say during the interview. I mean, you said fuck you, oh shit, and to top it off in case someone hadn’t noticed it the first two times you felt it necessary to say fuck, yet again!”
“Alright, I’ll admit that was kinda bad. But I gotta go now.” With that I just started running. I mean, I just booked it right out of there and away from Kevin. He scared me when he was like this.
While I was running I ran right into AJ. So I kinda just smacked him upside the head a little bit.
“What the fuck Nick?”
“You fucking told the story. I can’t believe you. And you didn’t even leave out the part where I asked you guys for help! You made me sound like a total asshole.”
“Yeah, well that was the idea.”
“Well, it worked.”
“Also the idea. Hey by the way, I was thinking after I get tired of this music thing I could become a professional story teller. Sounds fun doesn’t it? I can tell embarrassing stories about you and the other guys, but of course mostly about you. Only because I enjoy bugging the living shit out of you.”
“You do it so well to.”
“Aw, thank you Nicky!”
Then I found Haley and I left because I was getting really pissed off.
“Haley, was the swearing thing bad?”
“Not the first time. But come the second and third it probably wasn’t your best choice of words.”
“That’s what I was afraid of. Kevin’s already yelled at me.”
“I don’t think he’s done.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s running at full speed toward you.”
“That could mean anything.”
“No, it really could only mean he’s really pissed off.”
“Yeah you’re right. Wishful thinking.”
“Haley, can I ask you something?” I asked.
“Sure. What?”
“Why did you take the second date with me? I mean, wasn’t the first one kind of a disaster?”
“Not kind of. It was a total and complete disaster. Like a hurricane combined with a tornado combined with a-”
“I get it. But seriously, why didn’t you just like ignore me after that? Hell, I would have never spoken to me again. I mean you had to drive me to my show.”
“I know. Would you like to relive it again because if we’re going to I’m going to go pop some popcorn.”
“No, I don’t need to think about that again ever. So why did you go on the second date. You never answered me.”
“Because I liked you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. A lot.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
FINALLY!!
