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Chapter 8

Haley Narrating

We walked into the hall of the hotel, and my feet were already killing me from wearing the fucking shoes Danielle had thrown at me about 3 minutes ago.

“Nick, can I just run back to my room for like thirty seconds?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. Be right back.” I walked, well hobbled back to my door and. As soon as I got into the room I yanked my shoes off and threw them in the garbage. I didn’t have time to find another good pair of shoes, so I just took the flip-flops from under the bed. Hopefully there was no rule against flip-flops in the restaurant. I went back out the door and we got on the elevator.

“So, what did you need in your room?”

Should I tell him the truth? Oh, who cares. This was never going to last anyway. “I had to change my shoes because they were making my feet numb.”

Nick Narrating

So she went back to change into flip-flops. That was something I would do. Maybe we were more alike than we thought.

Was it bad that I couldn’t stop staring at her? Probably wasn’t the best thing huh? Oh well. What am I supposed to do? Control myself? Yeah, I tried that when I was like fifteen and it hadn’t worked. So I had never tried again. Why bother with something like that?

“So where are we going?”

Oh, crap I think she just said something. Except I have no idea what because I was busy rambling on and on to myself about how I couldn’t keep my dick in my pants. Maybe we should just not go on elevators together. I always seemed to make an ass out of myself whenever I was in close quarters with her. Last time we had been on an elevator together I had to run to the limo really really fast to avoid any really embarrassing pictures of me in magazines.

Okay, note to self none of the following can be done with Haley:
1) Elevators
2) Communication
3) Beds
4) Pools

“Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Oh, you know what, never mind. It’s not important.”

“Okay.” I have never been more grateful for the elevator to reach the lobby as I was at that exact moment. Neither of us said anything until we reached the limo. Or I was too busy wondering if we’d have enough time to have sex in the limo before we got to the restaurant to hear anything.

“Holy shit. You brought a limo.”

“Yes I did.” Was that bad or good? I was really hoping for good. Otherwise this date was going to be a fucking disaster. Well, not a fucking disaster, but a disaster. Damn, I wish it could be a fucking disaster.

As we started driving I kept trying to think of things to talk about, but my mind was a total blank. Well, that’s not true. I mean, I did come up with two things. One was please have sex with me, and the other was please, please have sex with me.

“So,” she said, “why is this awkward?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on. I know you didn’t go to school, but you can’t be that stupid. We haven’t said a word to each other since we got off the elevator.”

“Oh, you picked up on that too, huh.”

“Yeah, yeah I did. Look, maybe this date’s too much pressure.” Oh crap she was gonna ask me to take her back to the hotel. “Maybe we should do something else.” Or not.

“Like what?”

“Well, I have an idea, but you have to get your driver out of the limo. And I’ll need the keys too.”

“Okay, I can do that.” As I said that we pulled into the restaurant. I asked the driver to go check on our reservations. Then I told him to leave the keys and that I’d take care of parking it. I sorta didn’t think he was gonna believe me, but he did.

“Give me the keys.” Was it bad that she could tell me to go jump off the Empire State Building and I would totally do it without even asking one question? “Get in the front.” Once again, no questions asked.

She started driving away. I had no idea where she was going, but I didn’t care. “I need you to call either Brian or AJ on your cell phone.” I did. Obviously.

“Hey. Um hold on I don’t know why I’m calling you.” I covered the speaker on the phone. “Haley, why did I call him?”

“Oh, give me the damn phone. Hello? Brian?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“It’s Haley. Me and Nick decided not to go to the restaurant, we took the limo, and the driver’s still at the restaurant, so I was thinking maybe someone should go get him.”

“Was this your idea? To not go to lunch I mean?”

“Um, yeah. Why?”

“I was just thinking there is no way in hell Nick would have thought to do that. And in case you didn’t pick up on it he has no idea what to say or do.”

“Yeah, I did pick up on that. Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you later.” I handed Nick his phone.

“Not that I care, I just wondered why you didn’t want to go to lunch with me.”

Haley Narrating

Aw, he sounded like an eight year old. He sounded so pitiful. It was the funniest thing I’d ever heard. You never would have thought that Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boy, could be that insecure. And I guess that ‘not that I care,’ was supposed to hide that.

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go with you. It was that I didn’t want to sit there with silent Nick while you sat there oogling my goodies.”
“What?! I haven’t been oogling your goodies!”

“Nick I’m not blind. You barely speak when I’m around you. It’s okay. You think I’m hot. I think you’re hot too, I just hide it better.” Holy shit. That was really direct. I guess that’s what the Carter charm did to you.

“Yeah, hiding things never was one of my strong points.”

“I kinda figured.” I parked the limo in front of a video rental store. “I’m going to go in, get a movie, and we’re going to watch it in the limo.”

Nick Narrating

She was gonna come out with some chick flick. I just knew it. She came back like thirty seconds after going in.

“So, what did you get?”

“One of my favorite movies of all time.” Yep, chick flick.

“What is it?”

“Well, I don’t think you’ll have seen it.” Definite chick flick.

“Come on tell me.”

“Bring It On!” That I would not have predicted.

“I actually think I’ve seen this, except I was so drunk I do not remember anything.”

“Oh, you’ll love it.”

“Are the girls hot?”

“Not as hot as me.”

“I believe that.” Wow, that is the most actual flirting I have done with her and not have made an ass out of myself. I think she was thinking the same thing. I guess I did still have the Carter charm. I was beginning to think it had worn off.

“And it has a special cheer-a-long at the end!”

“Oh good.” Lovely. The movie started and she was right. The girls weren’t as hot as her. Then the girl’s boyfriend came. He had to be the gayest manly man ever.

“Wait, this next line is the best line in the whole movie. Ready, Torrance, I can’t mac on you in front of the parentals. Oh, that’s the best.”

“That’s like the gayest thing ever!”

“Well, he’s a guy cheerleader. What do you expect?”

“Very good point.”

“You’ll like this next part.”

“Why?”

“It’s when all the girls are changing.”

“Yeah, you’re right I do like this part.” We kept watching for a while and we didn’t have too many comments until they started practicing. They said they were going to do the hardest pyramid known to man kind and I guess she disagreed.

“That pyramid is like the easiest pyramid ever. They said they were gonna do a wolf wall, which is actually a real pyramid, except that’s not a wolf wall. That’s a pyramid I could do when I was like 10.” I laughed. The pyramid did look pretty easy compared to what I’d seen at the competition.

The movie was actually pretty good. I thought I’d hate it, but I also had Haley sitting like three inches away so that was probably part of it. You know how sometimes you go on a date with someone you think is really hot, but after a while you get used to how hot they were and then you can carry on a normal conversation? Yeah, well that wasn’t happening here.

“This next part is my favorite part of the entire movie. Seriously. It’s great.” She said. It was the tryout scene. She knew every single person who tried out and when they went. I guess she’d scene this a few times. We watched like five people try out and it wasn’t that funny. “This next one is what Danielle wanted to do at her tryouts.”

“Okay.” Turns out Danielle wanted to rap. That probably wouldn’t have helped her make the team. Then we watched a guy who thought he was trying out for Pippin. I swear I could have gone my whole life without ever having to see that. If young children ever watched this movie they should be shielded from having to see that. “You know, you could have warned me that he was going to be that gay.”

“I didn’t know you were going to be that disturbed. I thought after being around so many guy dancers you’d be used to it.”

“There are some things you never get used to.”

“Oh, yeah this next girl’s tryout is what Jess’s looked like.” I was expecting to see someone who fell all over the place or something. Instead I saw some girl in the sluttiest outfit ever dancing on a table. “She was really nervous so we told her to do what she did best.”

“And she’s best at dancing like a stripper?”

“Well, Danielle decided that stripping was probably her nighttime job. And actually it answers a lot of questions.”

“Oh, does it?”

“Yes it does. Hold on this part is important.” Another girl was trying out. Two of the girls were really bitchy too. They told her to do a standing back tuck. Instead she did something else. I don’t know what. All those flipping things looked the same to me.

“A back handspring backtuck is actually easier than just the tuck, so really doing the back handspring first made her look worse.” I didn’t really know what she meant so I was just kinda like ok, sure. “Sorry,” she said, “sometimes I get really annoyed with the inaccuracies of this movie.”

“It’s okay. I don’t care.” And I didn’t. I was just glad I hadn’t totally fucked this date up. Yet. It was only 2:15. I had until like 4:30.

“But I do have to say, the cheer Torrance is about to give Missy is awful!!” She started mimicking the cheer as she was saying it. “Awesome, oh wow. Like totally freak me out. I mean right on. Toros sure are number one.”

“I take it you’ve seen this a few times?”

“Just once or twice.”

“Ok. Now seriously how many times did you see it?”

“I don’t know. Too many.” We watched for another like forty minutes or something and they had their first game. That’s when they brought up cheer sex. I liked that concept. Maybe Haley could have cheer sex with me.

“Hey Haley, would you ever have cheer sex with me?”

“Never know.” Wait, was that a yes or no. Oh well, I’d rather have real sex anyway.

“How about real sex?” Shit. I did not just say that out loud did I? She kinda rolled her eyes at me. Yeah I did say that out loud. You know how I said I was glad I hadn’t totally fucked up this date? Well, as of 3:00, consider it fucked up.

I just kept really quiet until the choreographer came. Then I just had to comment on how gay he was. She agreed to. I actually made her laugh a few times. That meant she didn’t totally hate me. I hope.

Two of her favorite lines were actually from the gay choreographer. Like ‘cheerleaders are dancers gone retarded’ and the line even I remembered from when me and Aaron watched this with our sisters two years ago. Granted I got fucking plastered and Aaron slept through it, but looking back I think he had actually had like four beers so maybe that was why he passed out. Oh, crap he was only like fifteen. I probably shouldn’t have allowed him to do that. Oh well, back to that famous line. ‘These are not spirit fingers, these are spirit fingers. And these are gold.’ The movie finally ended and it was only 3:45. I had an hour and fifteen minutes before I had to be anywhere.

“We have to return the movie,” she said, “I’ll go do that.”

“I’ll come with you.”

“No, you don’t have to.”

“But I want to.”

“Okay.” We went in and returned the movie. Then I decided we should go next door and get ice cream. Who cared if I wasn’t supposed to be eating ice cream? So I was on a diet. Ice cream tastes good and I will have my fucking ice cream. That was a really long rant about ice cream. Especially since I just wanted to do something so the date wouldn’t end.

We walked into the ice cream parlor which was surprisingly quaint for New York City and we got our ice cream. It was really good too. We sat down and ate it for a little while, but about the time we were done I spotted three girls who looked to be about 25. They immediately started whispering and looking at me so I grabbed Haley and ran out the back door.

And they came running after me. And running out of the place didn’t exactly make me blend in either. Dammit Carter think before you do things! Dumbass! Now the fucking date was going to end with us getting chased by a bunch of girls. That normally wouldn’t sound that bad except I didn’t want Haley to have to deal with this, especially now. She was never going to speak to me again.

Five years ago I was so much taller than all our fans I could outrun them. Here’s the thing. In five years people can grow a lot. I wasn’t that much taller than them anymore. And I was still muttering fuck fuck fuck to myself.

Then one of the girls chasing us was screaming, “But I’m a reporter. I work for a magazine!” Like that made it any better. We ran for like three blocks and then Haley pulled me around a corner and between two buildings. Remember when I said I couldn’t do certain things with Haley? Yeah, well being between buildings could be added to the list. And hopefully if the girls caught us the reporter wouldn’t write anything about my hard on.

“Look,” Haley said, “they’re probably still gonna find us so we have to leave in a second, but go back to the ice cream place. They’ll never go back there. Next they’ll look at your hotel.”

“They don’t know what hotel we’re staying at.”

“Yes they do.”

“They have no way of knowing that. How would they-”

“Trust me they know. Okay? When your favorite band hasn’t been doing anything for five years and then they finally are, you find out what you need to know. Word gets around.” She had a point.

“Okay. Let’s go.” We started running back towards the limo which was parked outside the ice cream shop. She unlocked the doors and we both jumped in. She started driving away. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was already 5. “Shit. I have to be at sound check like now!”

“Do you need to go to your hotel first?”

“No, Brian probably brought everything I’d need when I wasn’t back at 4:30.”

“Okay, I’ll drive to the show, go back to my hotel and leave the limo with the valet guy and you’ll have to send someone to pick it up.”

“Okay. I will.”

“Don’t forget.”

“Okay. Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“How come you didn’t like, get tired when we were running?”

“I run all the time. We have to run seven minute miles for cheerleading.” Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah I was exhausted.

We drove and twenty minutes later we were at the show. I saw some people I recognized and figured they worked with us. Or I’d slept with them. No there was a guy I recognized too. I’m pretty sure I didn’t sleep with him.

I got out of the car, but before I shut the door I looked at Haley. “I’m really sorry.” I said.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. At least people still remember you.” She was smiling that had to be good.

“You know, you could come to the show. I know the band. I could get you in.”

“Right now I think you’re on the band’s shit list. Besides, I have to pack.”

I forgot she was leaving tomorrow. Fuck.

Kevin Narrating (5:00)

I’m am going to kill him. I swear to God. Murder. He should be here by now. This was our second show. If he didn’t show up I was going to beat his ass into next week. How could he be so fucking irresponsible?

“AJ,” I screamed, “where the fuck is the dumbass?”

“I don’t know where Nick is?”

“How did you know I meant Nick?”

“Because you said dumbass.”

“How did you know Nick was dumbass?”

“Because Nick and dumbass are basically synonymous.” I had to laugh at that. Sometimes no matter how mad I was, AJ could make me laugh. Nick could too, but since Nick wasn’t here that was hard.

I kept yelling for another twenty minutes when Nick came running through the door. “Where the fuck have you been?” I screamed.

“I was-”

“I don’t care where you were. You’re late. Twenty minutes late. And you look like hell, so you’ll have to take a shower. And sound check starts in eight minutes!” I walked out of the room because if I stayed in there there would only be four Backstreet Boys and that would screw up our formations. Granted Nick was usually too far forward, or back, but all the same you needed five guys to do most of our formations.

End Narration

“Nick,” said AJ, “what the hell happened to you?”

“Man, you don’t wanna know.”

“How’d the date go?”

“It was a complete and total disaster.”