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Chapter 95

Just over two weeks later, Claire pulled her new (well, okay, new used) bright yellow Volkswagen Beetle into the parking lot of the dentist’s office. She parked and got out of the car, taking a moment to admire it before she walked in to work. She’d wanted to own a Bug for longer than she’d been driving (they were so cute and fun!) and now she did. Jamie had taken her browsing through several dealerships, and she’d fallen in love with the Crayola yellow Bug the moment she laid eyes on it. It was almost-new, and she’d haggled the dealer for a great price on it. She didn’t miss her shitty old Toyota one bit.

The purple cast she’d acquired as a souvenir from the Toyota’s last stand was also gone; she’d had it cut off over a week ago, and her left arm was finally starting to lose the shriveled look it had gotten from being immobilized in plaster for so long. It was still very weak, and she’d been given a set of exercises to re-strengthen the muscles in it, but at least she could use it properly again. Her eyes, too, were good as new, thanks to a second cataract surgery, so driving her new car was a breeze.

And she was back at work. As she walked through the front door, labeled with Dr. Somers’ and Tim’s names, she knew that today was going to be busy. It was the Tuesday after Easter, and many school kids were on break, which meant the dentist’s office would probably be booked solid – parents always scheduled their children’s appointments on days when there was no school. Claire knew she’d have a full day. She didn’t mind, however; after weeks away from the office, she was glad to be back, glad for something to do, and especially glad to be making money again. Between the car and her rent, she certainly needed it.

Still, yawning as she went to pull her time card, she decided that she envied Jamie, who had the day off as part of his vacation. He had been out of town over the weekend, celebrating the Easter holiday with his mother back in Iowa, and had just gotten home yesterday evening. He’d come right over to her apartment, armed with a load of DVDs and complaining that he’d missed her over the few days he’d been gone. They’d ended up watching movies late into the night, and he’d crashed at her place. When she’d left for work that morning, he was still sound asleep in her bed. Lock up when you leave. XOXOXO, Claire, the note she’d left him had said.

Though they hadn’t really done anything that night, Claire knew… knew by the way she’d felt when he kissed her hungrily and told her how much he’d missed her, and by how it no longer felt strange to fall asleep in the same room – in this case, the same bed – with him, the way it had in his hotel room on Halloween… that she and Jamie were a couple again. They hadn’t labeled themselves as such in words yet, and she’d talk to him tonight to make sure he felt the same way that she did, but… there was really no need. Deep down, she knew he did. They both knew it was so.

She’d been giddy with the usual rush that accompanied a new relationship for the last two weeks, and yet, at times, her stomach would jerk unpleasantly… whenever she thought about how Nick was going to react. She wasn’t purposely trying to keep it from him, but at the same time, it was too awkward a subject to just spring on him. She’d only talked to him once since St. Patrick’s Day anyway; he’d called the day after her cataract surgery, but she hadn’t been able to tell him then. It wasn’t as if it were something she could just blurt out. “Oh, by the way, I’ve started dating Jamie again.” Yeah right.

Still, he was bound to find out sooner or later… and whether he was moving on himself or not, she knew he wasn’t going to be too thrilled.

“’Morning, Claire!” Laureen’s chipper greeting as she burst into the break room put Claire’s thoughts to rest.

Turning, she smiled at her friend. “’Morning, Laureen,” she said in reply. “How was your Easter?” She hadn’t seen Laureen yet that week; she’d had Monday off for vacation time.

“Oh, it was really nice! I flew back to Chicago, and my brothers were back too, so we had the whole family there for Easter dinner. I was so happy; we haven’t been all together in months!”

Claire smiled again, remembering how close she was to her two triplet brothers. “Aww, I bet that was nice,” she said.

“Yeah, it was. And look – I went to my favorite tattoo parlor in Chicago while I was home and got a new tattoo! See?” She held out her left arm, palm-side up, and Claire saw a bright tattoo on the inside of her wrist. It was of three stars, outlined in black, with fading gradients of color on the inside; one was red, one pink, and one blue. Below the stars was the word Inseparable. “It represents my two brothers and me… the red one is for Eric, the blue for Brad, and the pink for me, of course,” Laureen explained, blushing slightly as she grinned.

“That’s so cute!” exclaimed Claire, studying the tattoo. Laureen didn’t look like the type to sport tattoos, but this one really was cute, and the meaning behind it was sweet. She’d never thought seriously about getting a tattoo herself; the idea of getting poked with more needles than she already had to was not all that appealing. But she knew if she did ever decide to get one, she’d have people to ask for advice… Laureen and, of course, Nick… if he didn’t hate her for getting back together with Jamie.

***

Nick’s large Tampa home looked emptier than usual as he walked through it, stopping to put on his shoes and grab his keys. Maybe that’s because it is emptier than usual, Captain Obvious, he thought as he set the security alarm and went out the front door, pausing to lock it before he continued on to his Durango, which he’d left parked in the driveway.

The moving company he’d hired had taken away the things he was having sent to the new house in California yesterday, and they were scheduled to arrive cross-country at the end of the week, a day after the new furniture he’d purchased would be delivered. In the meantime, he was in Tampa until tomorrow. He’d flown back to Florida on Friday, spent Saturday going through his house and packing the things he wanted to move to the new place, and gone to Orlando on Sunday to have Easter dinner with Howie’s family.

Yesterday, he had stayed home to supervise the movers, but today, as it was his last day in town for awhile, he planned to go see Claire. He hadn’t seen her in over a month, not since the day he’d almost had a fistfight with Jamie in the middle of her kitchen, and had talked to her only a couple of times, once on her birthday last month and again after her cataract surgery two weeks ago. He’d been busy getting ready to move into his new house, but while he was back, he thought it would be a good idea to swing by and see her. Who knew when he’d see her again.

He and the guys were almost finished recording in LA, but in a couple of weeks, they were scheduled to fly to Sweden to record with Max Martin, who had written a few potential hits for the new album. They had recorded demos of the songs, but the Swedish songwriter liked to be present to work with them on the finished product. While in Sweden, they’d be doing some promotional gigs as well, interviews and such, to build up hype for the new album, which wouldn’t be out for a few more months at least. Then it would be back to the States, where they would go into meetings with their record company to decide on the final tracklisting for the album. From there, it would be on to the final and more frivolous stages of putting out an album: photo shoots for the jacket, a music video for the first single, and a whole circuit of promotional work.

It was going to a busy couple of months, but Nick couldn’t wait. He was both excited and nervous, this being the first album the group had put out in over two years. A lot had changed since the last one, and he only hoped their fans were still out there, waiting and ready to support him and the rest of the guys, as they always had.

Either way, it would be refreshing to be able to put his personal life and all the crap that went along with it in the backseat for awhile and just focus on the music again. It was one of his greatest loves, after all.

His other greatest love resided on the third story of the apartment complex he had just parked in front of.

Nick’s eyes rose to the third row of windows up as his fingers reached to pull his key from the ignition. He climbed out of the SUV and locked it, before cramming the jangling set of keys into his jeans pocket. As he strode across the parking lot to the large building, he wondered if Claire would even be here. It was only ten-thirty in the morning, but he wasn’t sure if she’d gone back to work yet or not.

Oh well, he thought as he walked into the entrance way and started slowly up the stairs. If she’s not here, I’ll just drop by the dentist’s office and see if she’s there. If she was working, he’d bring her lunch, and they could talk on her break.

Slightly winded, he reached the third floor and walked down the hall. He was glad he remembered her apartment was the second-to-last door on the left side, because he wasn’t sure he would have found it otherwise. He didn’t remember the number for sure, but when he stopped in front of number 306, he thought it looked right. He knocked lightly and waited.

A few seconds passed with no sign of life within the apartment. He knocked again, prepared to leave if she didn’t answer this time. But after a few more seconds, he heard the padding of footsteps in the kitchen, and then the door swung open.

Nick opened his mouth to exclaim “Hey!,” positive that she would be surprised to see him there; he hadn’t even told her he was in town. But the word died in his throat as he found himself staring at not Claire, but Jamie.

Claire’s ex-boyfriend was standing in the doorway, barefoot and clad only in his boxers, a blanket draped loosely around his shoulders. His dark curls were tousled, and the shadow of a beard clung to his chin. By his disheveled appearance, Nick could tell he had just woken up… which meant he’d spent the night here.

Jamie seemed to get over the shock of seeing Nick much faster than Nick did of finding him in Claire’s apartment. He was still staring, dumbfounded, at Jamie when Jamie offered a crooked smile and said, his voice croaky from sleep, “Well, hey there, Nick. Guess you’re looking for Claire. She’s at work.”

This time, Nick did not collar Jamie and throw him up against the wall, or sock him in the jaw, the way he would have liked to a few weeks ago. No, this time, he simply turned and walked away without a word.

He tried to keep his expression neutral, tried to maintain a façade of calmness on the outside, though inside, he could feel his heart racing and hear the blood rushing in his ears. He knew Jamie was still standing there, watching him, as he walked up the hall. It seemed about ten miles long, and he tried to walk quickly without looking like he was trying to walk quickly.

As he reached the top of the stairs at the end of the hallway, he heard the apartment door click shut.

***

Strangely enough, Nick remained in his stunned stupor all the way to the dentist’s office where Claire worked. He walked inside as if there were nothing wrong and calmly told the receptionist he would like to see Claire when she was available.

The woman, Carey, glanced at her computer screen and said, “She has one more appointment at 11:15, and then she’ll be able to take her lunch break. Can you wait that long?”

Nick glanced at the clock on the waiting room wall; it was quarter till eleven. “Yes,” he said, adding a quick, “Thanks,” as he sank down into an open seat.

The waiting room was more crowded than he’d ever seen it. There were many children clustered around a low table heaped with Highlights and Nickelodeon magazines, coloring books, and crayons; they were all so busy squabbling over the materials, none of them paid him any attention. Nor did the adults and teenagers in the room, who all had their noses in magazines or books. Nick hoped it would stay that way; he didn’t feel like having to be civil to any fans. The only person he wanted to see him was Claire.

The anger didn’t come until that moment arrived, until Claire stepped out into the waiting room at exactly 11:15, clipboard in hand, dressed in bright teal scrubs. The waiting room was so crowded that she didn’t notice him; she called out her patient’s name, and the little girl came to her right away. Then they disappeared behind the door, Claire still oblivious to Nick’s presence.

But Nick had seen her, and as soon as he did, his blood started to boil. Here she was, calmly going about her work as normal, when his world had just been turned upside down… because of her!! He’d never expected the shock of finding Jamie half-naked in her apartment that morning, and he felt somehow betrayed.

In the back of his mind, he knew it was irrational; technically, Claire wasn’t doing anything wrong by sleeping with Jamie. She wasn’t engaged to him anymore; she could see who she wanted. But he wondered, how long had this been going on? For months, she’d insisted that she and Jamie were nothing but friends. What if they’d been so much more than friends behind his back the whole time?

Nick fumed silently for the next half hour, until Claire finally reappeared. Glancing up, he noticed her through the glass window that separated the waiting room from the receptionist’s desk. He watched her punch her time card; then Carey swiveled around in her chair and said something to her. Claire turned quickly, her eyes searching the waiting room until they came to rest on Nick. They widened instantly, but then her face broke into a smile.

Nick didn’t return it, but she must not have noticed. “Hey!” she said brightly, when she came out into the waiting room, stopping in front of him. “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Yup,” he replied flatly. “Can we talk?”

“Well, sure. C’mon, let’s go,” she said and offered him her hand. He ignored it, standing up by himself, and walked past her to the door. She followed him, catching up to him outside. “Nick?” she asked, with concern in her voice, looking round at him. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Not here,” he muttered, gesturing to the parking lot.

“Okay… well, you wanna go somewhere and grab lunch? We can talk at the restaurant.”

“I’m not hungry. Where’s your car?” He looked around for her battered Toyota before remembering that she’d totaled it.

“Right there.” A smile broke through the worry on her face as she pointed to a shiny yellow Beetle in a far corner of the lot. “I just got it.”

Nick snorted. “I’m not gonna fit in that fucking thing. Come on, my car’s closer anyway.” He started towards his Durango, and she had to jog to catch up to him again.

“Nick, what the hell is the matter?” she hissed, as he yanked his keys out of his pocket and hit the unlock button on his keychain. He heard the doors click and reached for the driver’s side handle, climbing into the car with a heavy sigh. Claire scurried around to the passenger side and jumped in quickly. “Will you answer me?” she demanded, her voice rising shrilly. “Are you all right??”

He knew by the way she asked that she was talking about his health. Maybe she thought he’d had a relapse or something. Ha. That was the least of his concerns right then. Snorting again, he turned to face her. “Dunno about me, but it sure seems like you’re doing fine,” he said, none too kindly. “I went over to your apartment this morning to see you, and guess who I found there instead? Your dear old friend Jamie.” He enunciated the word ‘friend,’ his voice dripping with sarcasm.

The blood drained from Claire’s face, and it became filled with guilt instead. She shook her head slowly, and her mouth moved soundlessly for a few seconds before she finally got a word out. “Nick… I… I’m sorry. I never thought in a million years… I never expected it to happen.”

“Oh, right. So after last Halloween, when you told me over and over again that you and Jamie were ‘just friends,’ you had no idea you were going to fucking ‘Dear John’ me and go back to screwing him in a matter of months? You sure move fast.”

“Nick!”

“What?! Is that not how it is? Well, maybe not, maybe I got it all wrong. Maybe when you said you were ‘friends’ all those times, you meant you were just buddies… fuck buddies!” he spat, throwing his hands into the air as the f-word sprang from his mouth. Then he smacked them down against the steering wheel, causing Claire to jump in the seat next to him.

She recovered quickly and fired back. “How dare you?!” she screamed across the arm rest dividing their seats. “I was faithful to you, Nick! I never, never would have cheated on you! But if you don’t believe me, that’s your problem, not mine! I haven’t done anything wrong here! We’re not together anymore; we’re both free to date whoever the hell we want!”

“Is that what you were thinking when you wrote that letter?” Nick asked snidely. “How as soon as you laid it down on my stairs and gave back your ring, you’d be free to date Jamie again?”

“No!!” Claire insisted. “Damn it, I just told you… I never expected this! Honestly!”

Nick just scoffed and shook his head, staring blankly out the windshield. He didn’t know what to believe, but he wasn’t ready to let her off this easy. He was angry and hurt, and he wanted her to know it. A part of him wanted to see if she would hurt too. Or maybe she just didn’t care anymore.

“Nick, please,” Claire pressed, her voice softening. “Please believe me… nothing ever happened between Jamie and I when you and I were together. Nothing. I wasn’t attracted to him; I thought I was over him. I thought I was over him until a few weeks ago, when… when he kissed me. It was on St. Patrick’s Day, and I was pretty drunk, but-“

“Will you stop?” Nick snapped, reeling towards her again, his face contorted with disgust. “I get the idea; I don’t need to hear every fucking detail!”

“Sorry,” she apologized in a whisper, sinking back in her seat. She reached for the door handle. “I should go.”

Nick didn’t protest, so after a few seconds of silence, she opened the door and slid out of the vehicle. She closed the door without a word and walked away. Glancing into his side mirror, Nick watched her trudge across the parking lot to her new Volkswagen and climb inside. With trembling fingers, he jammed his car key into the ignition and twisted it, revving the engine to life.

He tore recklessly out of his parking space, nearly clipping the car next to him, and floored the SUV, sending it shooting across the lot. He braked before turning out onto the street, stopping just long enough to glance up into his rearview mirror. Claire was still sitting in her car, the engine turned off.

Sneering, he jerked the mirror up so that he could no longer see the yellow Bug in it and whipped his Durango out of the parking lot.


I’m coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss…

Now they’re going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Letting me go

And I just can’t look
It’s killing me
And taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside

- “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers


***