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THE BET
“Yeah, I’m no idiot!” Nick exclaimed after declaring that he did know that he needed to turn the oven on to cook the chicken.

“Why the hell are we doin’ this anyway?” A.J asked leaning against the counter.

“Because Brian here had to go bet his wife that we could indeed cook an edible dinner.” Kevin said while glaring at Brian.

“Why on earth did ya do that?!” A.J asked Brian, in utter shock.

“Cause I had the sudden urge! Where were you when I was explaining this half an hour ago?!” Brian snapped.

“I was stuck on the word ‘cook’.” A.J confessed.

Nick chuckled “And somehow I still wind up being the ditzy one.”

A.J smacked Nick on the back of the head.

“No fighting in the kitchen!” Kevin warned them when Nick turned to steal his revenge.

“Aight,” Nick said turning back to the oven to discover just how it worked.

“Aight?” A.J said “You turning all ghetto on us?”

“Shut up and do something,” Nick said turning the biggest knob on the oven all the way around. He then checked if he had succeeded.

Brian looked down apprehensively at the vegetables he had extracted from the fridge, “What do we do with these again?”

“I don’t know, cut them up?” Kevin suggested standing at the back of the room, near the door, ready to run for his dear life if anything should happen.

“And then what?” Brian asked.

Kevin shrugged “I dunno dude, one step at a time.”

“I did it! IT’S ON!!!!” Nick exclaimed ecstatic of his new achievement.

A.J clapped in sarcasm. “Hurray for you.”

Nick stared at him, “wow man, what are you on a roll?”
“Ha ha yes!” A.J said gleefully.

“It’s only because I can’t beat you up.” Nick said frustrated.

“You only ‘beat me up’ cause your twice my size.” A.J mumbled.

“Aaaaaawwww poor wittle A.J tired of bein’ a shortie?” Nick asked mocking A.J in a baby voice.

“K! That’s it! A.J, come here and help me cut the veggies! Nick… uuuuhhh… take out the trash! “ Brian ordered.

“”Man! You sound like my mom… is it happening to you too?!” Nick asked.

Brian glared at him.

Nick obeyed mumbling under his breath “And the look too, real creepy”

“Were the hell is D?!” A.J asked picking up a knife and staring down at the raw vegetables as if they were oversized roaches.

“I dunno he went to the bathroom,” Brian said cutting up a carrot.

“Twenty minutes ago? Even Howie doesn’t take that long.” A.J said.

“I’ll go look for him,” Kevin said eagerly accepting his chance for freedom.

“You better come back!” Brian warned.

“Yeah, I will… of course.” Kevin said.

“He aint,” A.J said picking up a long cucumber and examining it, “how the hell do I cut this anyway?”

“I have no idea, use your imagination.” Brian said.

A.J made a face. “If only it was a different color then…”

“Aje!! You perv.” Brian said shaking his head. “C’mon man, get serious!”

A.J gave in and started chopping up the green vegetable.


Nick and Howie both came in a while after awhile in a deep discussion on how age slowly changes you.

“Oh give it up!” Brian said.

“We chopped up the veggies!” A.J said proudly.

“Okay… where’s Kev?” Brian asked Howie.

“I don’t know I haven’t seen him.” Howie replied

“Told you he aint coming back.” A.J said.

“Well at least one of us made it out alive,” Howie said, “have I stressed how much I hate cooking?!”

“Yeah yeah, gets your hair and nails ALL dirty.” A.J said.

“Ignore him,” Nick said, “he’s just cranky, scared he’ll slip and die or the chicken will blow up in his face.”

Howie nodded, “oh.”

“Okay! I’ve decided that we’ll just have buns, no rice.” Brian said.

Nick and A.J gigged at the word ‘buns’ from their corner.

“So now all we have to do is figure out what to do with the chopped up vegetables.” Brian said.

“Make a salad?” Nick suggested.

“No, there not salad vegetables.” Brian replied.

Nick frowned in confusion ‘salad vegetables?’

“Just look through a cook book.” Howie said.

They all scanned their surroundings in search of… ‘the cook book’.

“WHAT? Ya’ll weren’t using a cook book?! How’d ya cook?... with the help of Nick’s suggestions!?!” Howie exclaimed in horror.

“Hey…” Nick said offended.

“Kevin helped.” Brian said.

“Damn, you mean the only one that could cook LEFT!?!”

Howie said horrified by that prospect, “I’m scared,” he confessed, slowly retreating to the door.

“Just go find the book!” Brian snapped.

Howie did as he was told.