“Just Another Day”
Chapter 12: Crash and Burn
I heard the ring, ring, and another ring as I held the phone to my ear and waited for an answer. Okay so what Brian said got to me. Damn that holy man. I felt bad, especially since the “news” lasted more than one day. Try three. Day four they finally let it go. Though watch VH1 put it on their lame “Best Week Ever” show. Tomorrow’s Friday, so I guess we’ll see. I just want everyone to leave it the fuck alone. Drinking my mind out and screwing my girl all the time won’t let the guilt fade away. Tried it. Not working. Fun to do, but not working.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
No answer. Damn. What could she be doing? Does she hate me that much? Not that I blame her. Easily hate-able. Its like I told you, everyone leaves after awhile. She should be no different. Yet and it felt different. Well screw her. Where’s Tracy, I wanted to have some fun. Oh damn, that’s right she’s at a girlfriends. Fine then, I’m sure Bean’s bored. I’m up for a visit at the Hyde, nothing like drinking and clubbing to forget guilt. Drinking and sex haven’t done it, but maybe drinking and clubbing will. Can’t hurt any. So the next number I dial is Bean’s. Brian is with his family anyway, can’t take Jay drinking, Howie would tell Kevin, and Kevin is Kevin and I don’t want to die.
“Nick”
“Bean”
“Asshole”
“Bum”
“Faggot”
“Bastard”
“Rich spoiled backdoor boy”
“I’m bored.”
“My kind of bored?”
“Yeah.”
“Lets fucking party then, on you. Meet you at Hyde.”
Click. Then dial tone. I know he’s a glommer, but hey you get what you can right? He’s still a friend. And I could use the company. There's a lot I wonder about my screwed up life, but there are some things I know for certain. My life ain't gonna change, so why try. May as well party hard, spend my money I shed sweat of blood to get it, and live life up. Die young, be remembered as a failure, this was my destiny and I knew it. Nothing has shown me proof against it. Heh, and I doubt anything ever well.
So I may as well live up to my destined rock star failure, right?
********
Sometimes, (yes I start a lot of things with that word, get used to it) you get this feeling. A nagging feeling that something is up. Or about to happen. And sometimes, sometimes they center on a person you know. Last time this happened, nothing came of it, just an odd call with Nick that turned out fine as far as I knew. This time, I just had a feeling. It kept nagging at me. Devi was out with Iz, I had actually told him to go, once she called us up to do something. Me, I wasn't up to seeing anyone yet, even if it has been a few days. I even quit my job. Which my parents were pissed about. I need to find another job, but I hated Arby's and I couldn't take the stares I got as I worked when people were reading those magazines and saw my face right after seeing those pictures. I couldn't take it. My parents were bad enough...
"What is this we're seeing you all over the news!?"
"Nothing."
"That's you on there with some celebrity! That's not nothing."
"I'm an adult, we just hung out."
"He's only out to use you. What else would he be with you for? Why can't you just be like your sister and stay out of trouble..."
I shook the voices from the memory away from my head. It hadn't gone well. That was the calm part of the conversation. Now they were gone for a week, my dad is a foreman in a construction company and they asked him to oversee some job in Las Vegas and my mom went with him, since they knew Sebastian was here with me. Sebastian. So far all I had been told was it was good I got myself out when I did. How guys like that, in that world, are only out to use girls like me. That I'd have been hurt. That I wasn't meant to see people like him. My parents, Sebastian, my sister had called too about it, giving me a lecture about how I need common sense and how could I do something stupid like date someone like him. I hadn't dated Nick, but that's not the point. It seemed no one had faith in my own choices. I don't regret being Nick's friend. In fact, I'll be honest, I actually regret cutting it off. My face is on tabloid magazines, on gossip shows, but he didn't deserve my shutting him out. The paparazzi, just...scared me enough to where although I regret it, I was too scared to try fixing it.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
The phone. I let it go on the recorder. Last time it had rung was a few hours ago, and that’s when my nagging feeling started. It refused to leave too. That’s why I decided maybe a night alone painting would be good. No questions, no one bothering me. Then the voice I heard on the answering machine made me jump to answer.
"Cally...Cally, its Teddy."
I jumped for the phone in an instant. Yes I'm avoiding people, but this is Teddy. Him and Sebastian were always "my boys". "Teddy!"
"Cally, I saw the craziest thing."
"Hmm." Oh no.
"Go to livedaily, the Flames Of Ice board."
I raise a brow as I head to my ancient outdated computer and signed on to the internet, with my very annoying dial up connection. We have a phone line just for it. We could never just get DSL, oh no. I push my hair away from my face idly. "I didn't know they had a board over at LD..." I muse to myself.
"When they got huge with their last album, they replaced the old and dead Avril one with it."
I clicked on a thread titled "Nick's new girlfriend?" with a sigh. This was about me. On it were pictures, so many pictures of that day at The Grove. I couldn't help but smile a bit at the pictures. That had been a fun day before the paparazzi psychos showed up. I guess I had been right that day when I felt like we were being watched, there were pictures of us through the entire day. I smiled at how content I looked. It had been fun.
Then I saw the comments.
TampaBayLondonFan: Ewww Nick is such a whore. I can't believe him. I knew London was too good for him. The girl is pretty fug. I thought he was dating Tracy?
FOIFan4ever: Its probably just a rumor. Nick's with Tracy. He'd never cheat. ^^ Why are you even a fan, you’re always so negative.
TampaBayLondonFan: I like his voice, he's the only talented one I think. I hope he goes solo.
Ivy05: I think she looks nice. He should be with who he wants to be, and we don’t have a say in that. As long she doesn’t hurt him like London did.
Nickoholic: Nicks too good for her. she's huge and ugly.
HateMeUCantBreakMe: So Nick's sleeping around again. Heh. And Nick ain’t no saint either Ivy.
Ivy05: Never said he was, but London crossed the line with him.
NicksSexiMami: I think she's cute
TampaBayLondonFan: She's nothing special and Nick is just being a man whore.
FOIluver: She's alright, better than London.
TampaBayLondonFan: London Miffton was way too good for him.
I scrolled down, more pictures, only in high quality now. Great, so people can see up close how unappealing I am. God I could see the pooches of fat all over. Why had I worn that shirt? Why did I think I looked okay? God next to Nick, I looked huge, plain, and ugly. I closed the window, Teddy's voice finally getting my attention again. I shifted the phone, putting it on speaker as I checked my email, since I was on the computer anyway.
“Girl looks a lot like you Cal.”
“Yeah well Teddy, it um, well it is.”
“No shit!? You have to be kidding dear!” Yes Teddy says dear, he’s odd.
“No, damn spies even got my name. But its not a big deal Teddy, really, I mean...Nick and I just hung out a time or two and now we don’t.”
“Why not?” He asked curiously, I couldn’t blame him. The whole thing was still strange to me, let alone everyone else who has a TV or goes to a store. I flopped on my bed, sick of the internet already for today. You don’t want to know what I found in my email.
“Long story.”
“You okay?”
“Peachy keen jelly bean. I gotta get going, Devi’s in town and we’re gonna go out with Izzy.” A lie. I suck at lying, but my other best friend seemed to buy it.
“Tell him I say hi, I’ll talk to you later Cal.”
“Later Teddy Bear.” I reach over and push the button with a sigh. I felt so antsy. So I got up, got dressed, grabbed Sebastian’s keys since Iz had picked him up, left a note for him saying I went out and borrowed his car, and walked out the door. Yes I have my license. Just, not a car. I knew he wouldn’t mind anyway. That feeling I’ve been having magnified as I started up the car, and drove off in the brightly painted Volkswagen van. So I did what instinct told me to. I went out. Can’t help it.
*******
It happened in a blur. Seriously. I got drunk off my ass. I’m pretty sure I just cheated on my girlfriend accidentally. Fuck. Hope they ain’t fans who’ll blab on LiveDaily tomorrow. Bean got into a fight and he got kicked out. Me, being a good friend, followed him. More like stumbled. I ain’t too bright when drunk. You know why that is? I gave him the keys to my BMW. Then I said lets go. So he drove us. We were laughing, I still had a beer in my hand, as we blared System Of A Down on the radio. Then, I sobered up, and it wasn’t in the way either of us expected.
Screeching tires.
Car swerving.
Blinding lights.
A loud deafening crash.
Glass shattering, metal twisting.
We ended up crashing into another car on the highway. I looked over, ignoring any pain in my leg. I was okay. A few cuts here and there but nothing deadly. The impact came on Bean’s side of the car mostly. I shook him pretty hard, having no damn clue if I should or not.
“Bean! Rob! God fucking dammit. Say something for me!”
Don’t say anything. He’s not dead, I checked. I dialed 911, told them where we were. Oh god, were the others okay? In the other car? Painfully I forced my way out of the car, and nodded when I saw they were alright. We got most of the impact. I sighed, pacing as the ambulance arrived and did what they were supposed to. My mind raced. Easy way to sober up but I don’t recommend it. I looked at one of the medics.
“Will he be alright?” I asked softly. Yes Bean is a glommer. I know it. But I still can’t not care if someone will be okay after something like that. Even if he caused it. I was the idiot who gave him the keys.
“He seems to be stable. Now let us do our work.” He sounded annoyed. Didn’t blame him. I knew how all this looked. I wouldn’t let the medics near my ass either. I was fine. I hate doctors. Of any kind.
I watched it all go down, detached, like all this shit in my life was a movie or something. Not real, just something made up in the twisted mind of some random person that ain’t me. I pushed my damp hair away from my eyes. I wish I had a cigarette on me now. Yep, I smoke. Did. I quit, but fuck I have the urge right about now. I told the people we crashed into I’d take care of it and gave them my number. Lets hope I don’t get calls from a lawyer. Cops came and went after the medics took Bean and the people I crashed into left. Me, I sat on the ruin of my car, wondering why my life was so damn fucked up. I guess I should take a cab home. The tow truck was gonna get here soon anyway and I knew I could leave it and he’d get the money tomorrow. Home, not some damn hotel. Trace can deal, I was in no mood for something I’m paying too much for. Yet, hell, I didn’t want to be alone tonight. I’m a pain, yes. I don’t know what the hell I want anymore. That’s part of all my damn problems.
The wind began to pick up, giving a chill in the air. I ignored it. As I pull out my cell phone though, I saw the strangest car drive down the highway and pull to a stop. A navy blue VW van, with carefully placed splashes of baby blue painted on it. Someone hopped out of it and came over, and I couldn’t help but give a small smile as I recognized the pretty girl before me.
Calypso.
I gave a grin, surprised as hell to see her. What was she doing here? I knew it was too early to hit the news. “What brings you here?” I asked, not bringing up the fact we hadn’t talked since that day at The Grove.
She shrugged as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I had a feeling I should go for a drive. Stopped cause,” Here she gave a little smirk. “no one else would have their license plate say ‘IN2KAOS' like you do.”
“You like it cause you know it fits me.” I smirked a bit, glancing back at the car that only Cally would design. It was her style, you could see her personality with it. Just like my plate was my style. “Didn’t know you drove.”
“I can, but I don’t have a car. Borrowed that from my friend Devi.” She sighs, having this cute little look as she does it. “Are you alright? Nick you look…well bad.” She turned a little pink when she realized she insulted me, and decided to wipe her glasses with the bottom of her baggy sports jersey then. “No offense.”
“Got in an accident.”
Cally gave a little shudder that you could tell wasn’t from the cold. “I hate accidents, even seeing them. They freak me out, make me all paranoidy. You need a ride back?”
I nod as I decide not to rub her arms for her. She looked cold was all. “Sure, I’ll show you how to get to my place.”
Then she said something that surprised the shit out of me.
“Actually I’m terrible with directions, and I have open space, how about you stay at my place for the night?”
**************
I can’t believe I just offered that. Holy crap. Holy Snickers. Bezel my jezels. Honestly I’ll tell you why. I’m horrible with directions. I would have gotten us both lost. Two, I knew Sebastian was going to stay at Izzy’s for the night. I got texted an invite on the drive. I didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to be alone in my house either. It’s a small house, but I just don’t like it. And when I looked into Nick’s clear blue eyes, I could tell he didn’t want to go alone to his place either. I know the look cause I see it everyday, in my own reflection in the mirror.
Sometimes, you make rash decisions that will have consequence that you don’t know will be good or bad. Ones you know you shouldn’t do. But you do anyway, cause it feels right. This was one. As I drove us back to the house, I couldn’t help but be glad we were talking again. Holding back is almost like asking for trouble. Cause sooner or later, you know you’re gonna crash, and then you’re gonna burn.
So that night, Nick stayed at my house. We slept in the living room, me on one couch, him on the other of course. Before you start thinking otherwise. But let me be honest again, we didn’t sleep much, we talked the night away before I finally began to doze off. Last I remember being Nick telling me about growing up in a band.
I felt safe, secure, and despite the chaos before, I didn’t think it was a bad decision.
************
That night, me and Cally were laying on her couches in her living room. Her house was a typical suburbia house. Family photos everywhere. Something I noticed is in the recent ones her smile wasn’t as big. Could be seeing things after growing up in my fucked up family, so I could be hella wrong. Its been awhile since I’ve slept soundly. That night I did.
Nothing in my life makes sense. Having a friend like Cally didn’t either. She didn’t fit in my little screwed up world at all. She belonged way outside of it, in a safe zone beyond my reach. A place I tried to put her that last time after The Grove.
But for some reason, I felt her safe zone was close to me, not far away.
And as she fell asleep, and I watched her, rather than the TV we had had on...
I felt maybe, she thought the same.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I know its been awhile since I updated, I'm working my others, such as 00Carter! Which is featured in my userinfo for those who like Nick, BSB or AUs.
Enjoy the chapter, I hope to update again soon hehe.
Enjoy the chapter, I hope to update again soon hehe.
