“Just Another Day”
Chapter 21: It All Falls Down
That next stormy as hell morning, I was at Jive’s main LA office. Yeah Jive Records. May I say they’re evil? They are. It’s still raining like hell and I have the most massive hangover. After that shit last night, well, decided to do exactly what I was accused of, live up to my soiled ass name. Ain’t it great? Heh. Now my head’s pounding like hell, it’s eight in the freaking morning and the last thing I want to do is a meeting. That I was hella late for. Try almost nine, and even that was a bitch to try to make it up and get all rise and shine shit on. I forgot about it too till Kevin called my ass, annoyed as hell. I hate our damn label by the way. They signed us and all but they’re used to pansies for artists. By pansies I mean the ones who let them steal creative control from them. We don’t and we’re always fighting them to keep that shit.
“Nick…are you paying attention?”
I nodded at the assholes we call managers and go back to my sidekick. Heh, now I’m being reminded that the deadline for album liners is tomorrow, which I haven’t started on at all. I wasn’t paying attention obviously. Give me the music and let Kevin and Howie handle the business side of this. I set aside the sidekick and flipped through my all important notebook. That one that had like, hell my fucking soul in it. I found a blank page as our managers Lois and Johnny, rambled on and on. They’re pricks and they know I hate them as much as they hate me. I’m their least favorite member of the band heh. May as well start on those liners before they blow a gasket cause I don’t have them tomorrow. Wasn’t like I planned on listening to this discussion anyway.
Though something on an earlier page caught my eye. I turned it back and rolled my eyes at it. It was a sketch of Cally. I drew it after that babysitting thing. Heh, no need to think about her now. She decided I was what people thought I was, blame me and take the side of that ass she calls a friend. I put myself fucking out there for her didn’t I? I never do that shit. I felt like I put myself out there, going to her house, trying to tell her how I felt. I fucking dumped Trace’s ass for her, so what’s keeping this girl away from me now?
I went back to the blank page. I’ll figure that out later. Now I’ll do something that’s not listening to the evil managers from London Miffton ruled hell. I’m sure Satan sent them all here to make me suffer. So, writing the album liners. Yup that’s what I’m doing. Need to be doing, oh what the fuck ever. We have another radio interview to do after this; one is calling in, another in person. Ain’t that just a fucking blowout?
“…so we need to start contacting sponsors for the tour…”
“We need a name for the album first…” I decided to say, heh now they’ll think I paid attention.
“We’ve been debating that for months.” Aww Brian you had to be the one who answered.
“Fuck man, let’s just call it I want some bad ass bitches and be done with it.” I snickered, sometimes I loved AJ.
“Never Gone?”
“D that’s cheesy, boyband cheesy.”
My thoughts wander again, we had decided on the track listing and all when we picked the single. Heh, wonder if Cally knew the single was about her. Made me want to check any other songs on that album that were done after we first met over the phone. See if any others were inspired by that girl I couldn’t understand in the least. I think another song was, can’t think of the title. Damn why am I thinking of her again? It’s like she’s haunting me or something.
“Never Gone is not boyband cheesy.”
“Heh yeah it is man, it’s like a fucking death wish.”
“Why don’t we name it something that’s hopeful…”
“Lets not get all spiritual now cuz…”
“Kevin come on, I wasn’t meaning that.”
“I’m telling you! I Want Bad Ass Bitches! It’d be perfect-”
“Let’s call it Haunted.” I interrupted. Get used to this, we argue a lot. We’re like brothers more than band mates. They all stared at me like I announced a sex tape with London just leaked out or something. Brian was the first to grin. Best friend for a reason.
“Nick, I think that’s perfect, fit’s the mood of the songs…”
Kevin even nodded his approval. “It gives an overall theme to it.”
Howie nodded. “Sounds good, and if the liners are due tomorrow, we can’t go to printing without a cover.”
“Didn’t we already do those annoying photo shoots?”
“Nothing that fit’s a cover Frackolas. Don’t worry, I know a gal who can paint one now that we know the title. The shots we took have a dark theme anyway.”
And as John took over and started talking business again my interest went out the window. Brian knew someone to draw the cover. That’d be Cally. I bet anything. She’d never agree, she’s too shy about her talents. Fuck, I need to just, well damn stop thinking. Album liners, those things I’m avoiding writing! Hell anything will work right now.
Hey, here we are again. Fourth album. Holy shiiot. Many of ya don’t know that. That second album was what made us get big. As always I’m the last ass one to be doing this shit.
I paused, aight, I need to know who I’m thanking. Not my family heh. Mom called today asking for cash. At least leaving messages about it. I didn’t listen to the whole spiel. I caught the end of it as I woke up. The “bye Nicky!” part. Don’t that shit say it all? I need to check on Aaron. Leslie was calling. She’s the one who still talks to me. I worried about her cause she wanted fame but not mom’s way and mom was forcing it on her. She was like me, a rocker. Not the pop star life Aaron thrived off of. I should mention my sibs at least. Heh just not mom. Or dad. Dad who left mom two years ago anyway and had a son with this random whore I have to call step-mom. That being eldest of six? I was counting the newest edition of Carters. Kayden. I haven’t even met him. Dad left and tried to forget us all. My sister BJ, well she was always in trouble, and Aaron’s twin sister Angel was living with dreams of being a model. Mom wanted more cash cows.
I need to stop thinking so damn much. Stupid ADHD, it’s to blame for all this shit. Album liners. Writing them.
Shhhhh I’m at a meeting not listening doing this since it’s due tomorrow. Who to thank now… well fellas you come first. Cause you guys are why I’m still here. Kevin…you’re anal, and we fight a helluva lot, but you’re like the dad I didn’t have on the road since the band formed. Jay, you’re so damn strong, you’ve made it and its effing awesome. Howie…watch out or I’ll have another prank for ya soon. It’s out of love man, promise. -snicker- And Brian, Frickan, you’re my big brother man, plain and simple. You know what I mean when I say being that saved my ass.
I think that sounded okay so far. Not too emotional yet it said it all when it came to them right? I had more to do, knew that much.
Aaron, guess I can forgive ya for liking pop, lets chat more bro. Don’t need you making my dumb mistakes. Angel, Aaron better be fighting all those boys off ya cause you’re getting too damn pretty. Leslie, you’re always there, after all the drama we deal with. It means a lot. BJ, if you ever need me, let me know. Cause I’m still the big brother, I can help. Kayden, you’re not old enough to read yet, hell you don’t know me. One day you might see this, and I hope we have this kick ass relationship by then.
I refuse to mention mom and dad. I hate even calling them my parents. I blocked out the noise of the meeting. Seemed to be fine without me. These things are so damn boring anyway.
Chris, bro, where the party at? Seems like forever since the last. Bean, glad we made it through it all sight, don’t let it slow down ya fun.
The fans, you’re why we’re here. The music, awards, tours, fame. Everything is cause of you guys. Even LD. You are hella awesome and you should know it.
And last but the farthest from least…
Then, I paused. What the hell do I say to Cally? I had to mention her in here. Even with all the confusion and drama shit, I had to mention her. It felt wrong not to. As to what, I had no fucking clue. How do I describe and thank all that’s happened? Heh, maybe that’s part of the issue.
**********
Waking up in the back of a van isn’t something I’d suggest. Especially if you took it from a former best friend because he pissed you off along with your parents. I wasn’t able to get a hold of Teddy, and I knew Iz would have been the first place checked. So I slept in here, because I didn’t want to call Nick. Calling Brian, would have ended up with Nick, so just no. The rain was still coming down, even better. I stretched out, and looked at what I had grabbed when I ran off. A few drawing pads, with a few pencils tucked into them. Good. My wallet and cell, but those had been in my pocket anyway, lucky or knowing me I would’ve forgotten them. And a brush. Okay, I’ll deal with this. No problem. I took my hair out of its scrunchie, brushing it out and putting it right back in a ponytail. I try the cell, calling Teddy’s number. Listening to it ring for a few moments, I didn’t get an answer. No one tried to call. Oh so they thought I was going to come back? I don’t care if I’m stuck sleeping in a van I stole basically. It’s not happening. I could try seeing if Teddy was on myspace or something. He was addicted to that. Or email him. I get up, crawling over into the driving seat. I started up the car and headed to the library. May as well try to use the internet to solve my issues then.
I hate driving in the rain; I have to admit this is partly why I stalled on getting a car. At one point I did have enough money, before quitting my job anyway. I just never said I had it. Sometimes I got freaked by them. I drove, turning up the radio, letting Evanescence take over. I wasn’t in the mood for pop right now. I parked at the library, getting out and heading inside. I didn’t look too much a mess, a little wet thanks to the rain but whatever. I got on a computer…and I can’t believe I’m saying this but curiosity is getting the better of me. So…I visited the message board dedicated to Flames of Ice on LiveDaily. I shouldn’t. I’m trying to very much not think about Nick Carter. Still, I wanted to see. I’ll only take a quick look.
Nick’s single again! was the thread title that jumped out at me.
Angelsmile: OMG I heard from a friend who ran into him that he dumped Tracy!
I raised a brow, Nick wouldn’t have told anyone, more like a fan was stalking. He had been telling the truth then though; he broke up with Tracy…for me. Then again fans aren’t trustworthy in any fandom.
TampaBayLondonFan: She prolly dumped him. I bet anything he cheated on her with that other girl he was seen with. He’s such a man whore.
Ivy05: Yeah because one sighting means cheating Melinia. And if he is dating that other girl, who cares? As long as he’s happy.
Angelsmile: he’s not dating that other girl! She’s ugly and fame hungry, I bet it was her idea to go to the Grove! I’ll prove they’re not dating!
Rolling my eyes, I closed the window, going to my myspace. No need to read the rest of that crud. All it was going to do was bash me, and point out every flaw I have, which I have a lot of. This is why I didn’t need to enter Nick’s world. So I went to myspace. I only have one because of Teddy, he totally made me. I was about to sign in when my cell started going off. Billy Jean ring tone for him. I love all kinds of music. I headed outside into the van, knowing the librarian would have a fit if I answered inside. So I ran inside the van, the rain starting to come down even harder now.
“Good Morning Starshine…the earth says hello…” I sang, thinking of the oldies song.
I heard a laugh and smiled a bit. “Cally you answer in the oddest ways.”
“Come on Teddy, it makes me who I am.”
“Got your message from last night, everything okay dear?”
“I know you live on base and all, but is there anyway I can crash with you for a few days?”
“What happened?”
“My parents and Sebastian are flipping out at me. All over a guy I’m not dating.”
“Nick.”
I leaned back against the door of the van, enjoying the shag carpet on the floor. I knew that was a good idea. Made that sleeping in here last night more comfy at least. “Yeah…and they’re saying I need to be this person I never was, I got fed up and left…and took Sebastian’s car…I’d go to Iz but even if I am an adult, I’d be found and told I should go home so quick. So…”
“Cal, you know I would. But I’m living on the base and so I can’t…maybe you should go back, at least till you can afford a place…”
Blah blah blah. No. “It’s cool, I’ll talk to you later Teddy.”
Great… so now what do I do?
Then, as I’m staring out the window of the van, it finally hit me. I have this really bad habit of running away. I mean that. I always hate confrontation; I think I’ve said that before right? So even though I didn’t want what my family wanted for me as a career, I went along with it. Even though, the idea of Nick scared me I liked it. But then I ran from it because it scared me. When I got fed up of going along with what my family wanted for me I ran from it. I loved to paint but I was afraid that my parents were right, so I ran to what I was “supposed” to be. I ran from Sebastian after I kissed him. I had kissed him to run away from Nick. Last night I ran away from all of it. Running. I was a coward. Way to be spineless Cally. And you know what? I guess trying to escape to Teddy’s, because I knew Iz would make me face it, made me see what I was doing.
Running away.
I guess it’s time I ran to actually face something. To face the chaos my life’s turned into. So I grabbed the few things I brought, stuffed them into a sling bag Sebastian had in his car, and hopped out. I left a message to him of where his car was, and that I was not going to be in it when he got there.
Me? I started walking, to something. Not running from something. I guess it’s time I’ll face it, as it all falls down around me. I was so sick of trying to run, and I wanted to be me. The first step is to try and face the decisions I make. So as the rain poured down upon me angrily, drenching every inch of me, I loved it, and headed to my next destination.
***********
I’m in my apartment now heh, after getting bored with the clubs after the meeting and the radio interviews. Didn’t stay long in the clubs. Long ass day. My liners just got finished and now I was drawing a bit in my notebook. And writing lyrics along the side of it. Hey, I get inspired randomly. I had Nirvana blasting in the background, “Come as You Are” is a freaking hella wicked awesome ass song. Babyface was staring at me like I was crazy.
“What, I ain’t thinking about anything but getting my lyrics down.” Then I glanced at my drawing the lyrics were next to. Damn. My gaze shifted over to my Iguana. “Not a word.”
Then I heard an odd tapping on the door. Probably AJ, he shows up at my damn place at the weirdest times. Groaning, I got up, putting my notebook aside so my paper loving Iguana wouldn’t think it’s a snack and get sick. And also destroy the book that in essence was my fucked up soul. I went to the door, opening it and shielding myself from the rain that the strong ass wind wanted to blow at me. There, was a sight I hadn’t expected. Dripping wet, and carrying a sort of purse or pack or something, was Calypso. Her clothes were soaked like she was, and clinging to her like crazy. Her hair was sticking to her pale face, her glasses spotted with rain. Yet her blue eyes sparkled like nothing else beyond those glasses she wore. And she had that simple smile of hers, that same damn one that’s gotten me since the beginning. That shy but simple smile that I think only she can pull off.
“Hey Nick.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks again for all the reviews, seriously they do help motivate. Enjoy the chapter hehe.
