"Just Another Day"
Chapter Three: Angels In Disguise
So I talked to the chick for three fucking hours. Three hours! I don't do that. Not over the phone especially. And it was to some random chick Brian befriended. But she could be someone trying to get a piece of fame. She could have known who we were and just have said nothing. So she could betray us both when she got close. It's happened too many times. I was surprised at how calm she was with me. Especially when she said she didn't know what I looked like. Even sounded fucking surprised when I said she did too, like she didn't know how she could know. Wonder if she even recognized Brian. Probably not. But what if she did realize who she met and just didn't care about our statuses? Yeah fucking right. That'll happen when the hell that's not on my earth freezes over. Still, it was weird, for shit in my world at least. She was interesting. Calypso was an anomaly in my world. Even if she was a fan, I would have given her my number by the end of the night just like I did last night all the same. There was something calming about her. The real test would be if my number was suddenly spammed with annoying fan calls. If they were I would change my number and not talk to her anymore. Cause that would prove her calmness was an act.
Brian came into the living room now that Baylee was content and we had finished eating after I had hung up with Cally. He then spotted his cell phone on the table and glanced at me, realizing he had left me with it. He raised a brow and watched me for a moment.
"Did you call anyone?"
"Now come on man" I send him the grin I'm famous for, the one that's half smirk, the one that makes girls scream. Wonder if it could charm my best friend? "Why would you think I even touched your phone."
He gives me a look and I laugh. "Because you always do."
"Alright so I called one girl. I got bored."
He watched me and I bet he was wondering if he had added Cally's number in or not. "Who did you call?"
"Your newest friend." I replied laughing. I knew he would get after me but it was worth the laugh. Especially when I saw the look on his face! Fucking priceless. It was worth it. The look in his eyes..just damn. I bet he was thinking I bragged about who I was or something.
"Nickolas Gene Carter!"
Shit I had been three named. I hated my middle name. Hell I hated my full name. "Man relax, I didn't do shit but talk."
He sighed and rolled those famous blue eyes at me. "She's the first in a long time who met me and didn't realize who I was. I could tell. It would be nice to talk to someone new WITHOUT being unsure if they were in it for fame."
I snickered at him. "She doesn`t know who I am either. At least she won`t until I start yelling it to her over the phone. "
He raised a brow and looked at me like I was crazy.
I smirked and ran a hand through my hair. It was getting damn long. Too long. Kept getting in my eyes and bugging the fuck out of me. I needed a haircut. Oh well. Fuck it. I'd to it when it annoyed me enough to remember. "She'll figure it out sometime man," I shrug. "And then she'll want something, I guarantee it"
"Not everyone is like that Nick."
"Everyone in my life is."
"Nick-"
I shake my head and cut him off to avoid a feel good lecture. "I ended up giving her my number anyway. So don't worry about her going fucking psycho or shit wanting to talk to me. I taunt. Since he's less popular than me to fans for some strange reason. I never did get why the fuck I was so appealing, especially supposedly more than the fellas.
"You need to watch your mouth more."
"I do around Baylee."
"I meant in general"
I just shrugged.
He looked up and sighed. "You make me wonder often why the good Lord sent you to me to deal with." He joked.
I just laughed. "Because I'm special so so special that's why."
He watched me again with a serious look on his face. I could see the concern on his face. See what I mean? They worried too much about me. "You know you can stay here again tonight."
"Nah, I don't wanna keep putting ya out. I'll go back home tonight."
I could see he was trying to think of a new way to convince me but I knew I would go back no matter what he said. So what if it was just an empty apartment? They didn't need to know nothing has ever felt like home. The closest thing that ever felt like a home in my life was a damn tour bus. That was one of the more pathetic parts of being me. I just didn't want to deal anymore. I just didn't. That was the fucked up thing about life. You couldn't make the pain end without making everything end. Although I've thought about it, it seemed like I was letting the fucking world win if I did that. And I was, so it stopped me in the past. But I was so damn sick, so damn tired of it. So at this point, I was almost ready to consider that option.
**********
So it had been a few days since Nickolas called me. Oooh sorry, Nick. He told me at the beginning to call him that. I was trying to force myself when thinking of the chaos that became my life, to call him Nick in my mind. Lordie knows if I slipped and we actually ever talked again that would be bad. Although I did like the sound of Nickolas. God, Cally get him out of your mind! It wasn't a big deal. There was no way we would talk again though. I was lucky Brian and I talked after we met. We had called each other maybe twice. Talked, he was a good guy to talk to. Great for advice. I caught on to that quick. I started hanging out with Brian a little more, he was a cool guy. At first I was weary to make sure he wasn't some psycho but that went away. I hadn't talked to Nick in awhile. I never mentioned to Brian but it bugged me. I wasn't sure why. So why couldn't I get a three hour phone conversation with Nick off my mind? Even my friends were noticing.
Izzy had come over while my parents were out. They went out and about often now. Now that they have an 18 year old daughter instead of a 17 year old one anyway. It annoyed me cause I did try to make things better with my parents. I honestly tried. We loved each other, but problems you have don't go away you know? We never tried to fix problems. We ignored them and then they came back. It was more just personality conflicts that never got resolved. I tried to but whatever I guess. The whole thing depressed me far to much to think about it. Despite my family I sometiems felt like an abandoned orphan. I never voiced that thought, I was almost nineteen, an adult and too old for such feelings. At least where they can be seen anyway. They were put away in my deepest of places in my heart, hidden with many other things.
Isabella just looked at me and laughed, her dark brown hair framing her oval shaped flawless face. She had a cuteness about her that guys thought sexy, she wasn't skinny but she wasn't enormous, (a bit smaller than me) but she was adorable. Her hazel eyes sparkled with knowing.
"What?" I asked, obviously not in on the joke.
"Who is he!?"
I look at her like she's nuts. "What do you mean?"
She grinned and squealed. Iz was the one female friend I trusted, and she was a tomboy but not the way I was. She had more feminine traits in her than I ever did. Way more. Maybe that's what guys liked about her. "There's a guy, I know it is! You have the look!"
I chuckled at that one. "What look? There's a look?"
"Yes there's a look and you have it so who is this guy and when can I meet him. Well.your look says you're interested but you don't know him extremely well yet. Just interested."
"You're out of your mind Iz."
"I'm right. I know it."
"Nah, remember guys don't look at me like that."
"They will. And when one does, he'll be special." She shrugged and leaned back. "I guarantee it."
We watched actions movies most of the night. The occasional chick flick to her insistence. I wasn't much for those. Gag me. It started with me not wanting to ever be reminded that I couldn't live the characters in the movies lives even if I wanted to. Then after awhile when I watched them for friends or whatever, I noticed they all had the same damn plot. Boring. Yawn. It's like taking a freaking nap. So by the time she left it was around 2:30 am. I couldn't sleep. I was just I don't know. Feeling lonely? We had watched the movie "Dirty Dancing" last and it just really got to me. My parents had come home an hour ago but the place was silent and felt really empty even if it wasn't. I grabbed my cell and looked through the address book on it. Couldn't call Teddy, he had to be sleeping by now. And getting up early thanks to the Navy. Couldn't call Sebastian. His cell number got disconnected and I was stuck with emails and waiting for a new number. Isabella just left. Didn't want to call a few of these numbers cause I couldn't confide in them. I didn't feel comfortable. There were few I confided in, few I trust, and I was in a depressed personal zone.
Then Brian's number came up and I figured he had to be sleeping. He had to be tending to his kid (who I thought was adorable when I met his son and his wife.) if he was awake. I noticed Nick's number. He had said a couple days before when we talked and he gave me his number, I could call any time. He said he didn't sleep much at night so it wouldn't matter. But was he just being nice? Since he gave me that number I hadn't used it. He had mine too but he hadn't used it since he borrowed Brian's cell anyway. I couldn't shake the feeling though. I hated feeling down like this and when I got that way not much could get me out of it. I was about to put the cell back when I just thought I should call. I almost didn't but I did. I speed dialed his number and listened to it ring. At the time I didn't realize it but it was the best thing I could have done.
***********
That night is a blur to me to be honest. I was in my apartment after a night out. Called up a few buds, or glommers, guys I hung with. I call them glommers cause I know they use me for chicks and money, like this dude I call Bean. But honestly? Didn't give a fuck, I just don't want to be lectured and with these guys I'm not alone. So out we went and from then on, its a blurry mess of faces. Just to forget. It didn't matter what the hell happened to me anyway. I didn't care. By the time I got back I was sobering up some and the hangover really came in. I wasn't exactly sober but I wasn't drunk off my ass anymore either. I was still pretty out of it. I just know I was depressed beyond reason. I was sick of waiting for it to end. I was just a waste of breath and space. Why not save everyone from worrying and just do it myself now? Fuck the world and whatever plan it had. Forget God cause He doesn't care about me the way Brian always says he does. Fuck fate. Fuck destiny or whatever shit makes my life so Goddamned hard and shitty. Just fuck it all. I had the shit to end it. I really did. I had to do something first though. I had to write a letter to Brian. He was my best friend. I owed him that much. So he wouldn't blame himself. I started writing it out online in a long ass email. Might as well say all the shit now cause after tonight until whatever fucking afterlife waited for us all, I wouldn't be able to fucking say it again.
So then right as I was finishing it with "I'm going to try and if God doesn't want me to die I guess he'll just have to send one of his angels"...
The phone rang. I groaned and checked who it was. Fuck it`s Cally. Fuck I can't let her think she could have stopped this shit when it hits the news tomorrow. Sure she doesn't know who I am now but she'd know the day news of my suicide came out.
So I answered.
"Helwo?" Great I sounded sleepy. Let her think that. Don't matter, it'll end soon.
"Hi, Nick? It's um, yeah its me...Cally" Wonder if she knew she sounded cute when nervous. Fuck at least she won't blame herself now.
"Oh hey."
"Did I wake you? Sorry I called this late."
"Its coo."
"What are you doing up this late?"
"Jus got in, hangovers fucking suck."
"Yeah they do, you just shouldn't drink then."
"Works when I fucking wanna forget shit."
"Doesn't help though."
"It does for me. Fuck the worlb is my helllllll and everyone in it tries to keep it that way for meeeeeee. All cause I`m.I`m not.peeerfect and I gotsa DUI." I could hear the slur in my own voice. I sound like an idiot. Oh fucking well, it was gonna stop soon enough.
"I doubt that's true."
"Heh."
"Listen since you have a hangover I'll let you go but.." She really sounded nervous now. Like she wanted to say something important. Wonder what it was. Eh oh well. As long as it ended soon. So I'm selfish sometimes. Fuck I earned it. So I was right then. Sue Me.
"But wha? Loooook. Sorry I'ma asshole Callllllllly.." Damn I'm still drunk, sobering but drunk. Fuck my head hurts like a bitch.
"You know you're really not an asshole. So what if you screw up sometimes? You're not an ass, and from the little I know, you're a good person. You shouldn't be getting drunk to drown out the problems, I know from Brian you have people who care about you.and I want to be one of them." I heard Cally say sincerely. I could hear the concern in her voice. Something rare in my world. "Sorry to um bug you. Night Nick." She says hurriedly as if she realized what she said and was embarrassed. Then she hung up.
I listened in my head to what she said. I deleted the email right then.
I didn't commit suicide that night. I threw out the shit I was going to use to do it.
God had sent one of his angels in disguise just in time to keep me alive.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hopefully you guys are enjoying it hehe. Feedback is lovely, and inspires me :) enjoy the new chapter
