After Alexander left me, I searched for him. I wanted to show him I could change, I wanted to prove that I could be the girl he fell in love with in the beginning. I knew that was not really true, I’d changed too much for that, but I wanted to believe it could be true and wanted him back. I was addicted just as much to love as to the blood I needed to live at this point. I’d never been alone. However, I was unable to find him, he did not want to be found and I had taught him how to hide well. When I realized I would not be able to find him madness followed.
Now that I was alone, I threw myself into the search for Dierdra’s child. In my head I knew she would no longer be a child, in my heart I could only see a young girl. My ways still in tact, I traveled, killing the wealthy to live in their homes. I lied to myself again about why; this time I convinced myself that I was using the means from the homes to fund my search for the girl.
I became careless with my killing. I would throw elaborate parties with my new found wealth and nibble the people that came to call.
One night, after one of these parties, I perused the sleeping bodies deciding which would be my dinner for the night. I had just decided on a young man who spoke eloquently with me most of the evening. He was enticing; his blood seemed to call to me. I will never know if that young man’s blood was as enticing as his conversation though. A loud crash woke most of the unconscious revelers.
“We know you are here devil.” A shout from across the expanse of my house called. “Show yourself so we might send you where you belong.”
I could feel the rage boiling inside of me, I was completely careless, I threw myself towards my attackers. The fight was a complete blur, necks were broken, throats were ripped open and many others were knocked unconscious on the floor.
Once the ordeal was over I looked down at my dress and the mess on the floor in front of me. It was time, once again, to move on. I swept through the throngs of bodies ensuring that if they were not dead already they soon were.
I heard a moan across the room from where I was and within a few short strides I was leaning over the body of a young woman who lay broken under a bloody corpse. She had a gash on her forehead and I have to admit, her blood had an enticing aroma to it, I wanted to taste it, to let it flow through my body and give me power. I lifted her by her neck and held her so that her face would see and register what was about to happen to her.
At first glance she looked vaguely familiar but it wasn't until her eyes flew open that I recognized the eyes of my dear Dierdra looking at me in terror. “Dierdra?” I mumbled. I knew it couldn't be my dear one, the one I loved so much like a daughter, but the eyes.
Voices coming from outside the house forced me to remember where I was and what was going on. I relaxed my grip on her neck but did not release her. She was injured, I knew that much from the fight that just ensued. I was not going to lose this family connection again.
“In here,” the young woman yelled.
I was hurt that she would yell for help. I was had already convinced myself that because she was from Dierdra's line that she would instantly take to me and would want to come away with me. As soon as she realized I wasn't going to hurt her, she struggled all the more and started to yell out to the others to come and rescue her. Quickly, I grabbed a strip of clothing from one of the bodies nearby and somehow managed to wrap it around her mouth one handed. I threw her over my shoulder and made my way to my escape route I had plotted out months before.
I managed to reach my safe house despite the struggling girl I carried over my shoulder. Once there I tied the girl to the chair, she fought the entire time.
“I am not going to hurt you,” I calmed my voice and backed away from her leaving her for a few minutes to get cleaned up hoping that the sight of me without blood dripping from my lips would help put her at ease.
When I returned, the young woman's chair was knocked on the side and she appeared to be attempting to move along the floor towards the door.
“You won't get far that way.” I chuckled slightly and set the chair, with her still tied to it, back upright. She took this opportunity to spit in my face. “You will regret that.”
“Are you going to save me to feast upon later?” She flung the words vehemently at me, I believe she hoped by showing courage I would take pity on her.
“No my darling. You will regret treating me with such disdain when we are acquainted and living side by side.”
“There were rumors of people turned into devils to serve as companions for your kind. I would rather die and will take my own life if you turn me into such a creature.” It really was quite cute her determination to keep up the appearance that she wasn't frightened. I could tell it was quite the opposite.
“I would not dream of turning you, though I would have done to save your ancestor. I would not have taken her mortal life unless she asked.”
“You know nothing of my family.” She shouted. I suppose I had struck a nerve.
“You are too young to be the child that was taken so I am going to guess you were told the story of your grandmother perhaps great-grandmother and how she was raised by a devil?” I could feel my eyes becoming moist at remembering. “Did they also tell you how those that took you from us also killed your mother?”
“My mother told me you killed grand mama.” I could sense her mother's words fighting with mine in her head, I hoped mine would win.
I sat across from the young one and recalled the night of her mother's birth. She listened to the entire story without interjecting anything that countered my story though I could tell she wanted to in a few spots. She was silent when the story finished so I took the opportunity to let her know I was going out to get food.
I wandered the market with a hood pulled over my face. I changed into rags so that I would not stand out as much. I only grabbed essential ingredients to make a stew. I hoped I would remember how to cook, it had been so long since I had consumed anything but human blood to live.
I returned and the girl, her name was still unknown to me at this point, was slumped in the chair sleeping. I quietly moved around the shelter preparing the food. Once it was over the fire I grabbed the medical supplies I had also gotten while I was out. A healing ointment and fairly clean rags.
I started to gently dab her wound with warm water to clean it, this must have woken her up. She sat straight up and tried to keep her head as far away from me as possible.
“I am only trying to help.” I held out the bowl of water and rags I had, showing her my intentions.
She relaxed a bit and with hesitation, allowed me to clean the gash on her forehead. The smell of her blood was intoxicating, but it had not been long since I feasted and I knew I could hold my monster at bay. Not only that but the thought of consuming my dear Dierdra's granddaughter caused me to be ill in my stomach.
“What is your name child?” I asked her as I grabbed the ointment and spread it over her wound.
She winced but kept her demeanor strong. “I am called Selene.”
“After the moon goddess.” I stated, it was a strong and popular name for the time. She did not respond, only braced herself for more ointment.
“The wound is not deep.” I moved away and stirred the stew, checking the windows.
“They will find me.”
“I will not lose you without a fight.” I responded without turning my attention from what I was doing. “You come from a line of women that were daughters and sisters to me, sadly never beyond sister.”
“Do you have family?” I questioned changing the subject.
“My husband led the charge, one of the first your teeth claimed.” The venom in her voice was back.
“Children?”
“I would not tell you if I did, they are better away from you.” Try as she might to avoid my question she answered it unknowing.
“Daughters?”
Selene did not respond to that question and I knew that the answer was yes. “I hope that when you realize I am not the monster you all believe, you will bring your girls to live with us.” I had found Dierdra's descendant, I knew I could keep my rage in check. I knew that I could go back to feeding on the blood of animals if it meant I could keep my family close.
The days passed. We moved further away from the city but Selene did not seem to mind. I believe she thought the further we moved the farther away from her daughters we would be.
I could see her strength returning, but I left her binds looser during the days. It surprised me none when she freed herself from her bonds and attacked me with a knife. She cut me but did not do much damage.
“Selene, I mean you no harm. I do not understand why you feel you must attack me.”
I held my arm out so she could watch as my skin healed. She was quiet again for some time after that.
Weeks then months wore on and I was able to completely leave her unbound. She helped with the cooking. True to my internal promise, I stopped feasting on humans, well for what could be considered human. I still fed on beggars and the unwanted but kept myself content most of the time with cow or horse blood.
“Selene, I believe it is time we discussed bringing your daughters to live here.” I brought up one evening. It had been close to a year that we lived under the same roof together and it had been nine months since she last attacked me. I felt that she came to trust me, depend on me, even possible love me.
“Antigone do you think you are ready to care for three of us?” She questioned. I could sense some hesitation in her voice, but her eyes were in earnest.
“We will bring the girls and move north to Britannia.” It was the furthest I could imagine to move away from our pasts.
She shuddered slightly but her words were warm. “We should start by preparing provisions.” She went to the cupboard and started to take inventory of what we had and what we needed and spouted off to me what I would need to pick up from the market that day. Despite her being unbound during the day, even when I left she remained unbound. I did not take her to the market with me, that would change in Britannia.
I grabbed the basket and hugged Selene. “I am so happy that you have come around.” I left for the market, even know I torture myself about what I saw when I returned only hours later.
Selene had not lit any candles anticipating my return. It was unusual to see the house so dark, my senses instantly flared. I listened to the sounds, it was quite. I saw nothing either, it was not until I took a deep breath that I knew anything was wrong. The air smelled thick with the metallic smell of blood.
“No!” I shouted and ran towards the house, dropping the basket along the path. I threw open the door, literally off the hinges. My eyes adjusted almost instantly to find Selene lying slumped against the cold fireplace, blood pooled around her.
I moved closer to examine her and noticed the deep slits in her wrist and the knife nearby. My sadness cannot be described in words, I would have slit my wrists at that moment if I thought it would take me away from this pain. I laid my head in her lap and let the tears flow thinking back to all our days together. She seemed fine until this morning when I mentioned her daughters.
It struck me as I lay in the darkness, the smell of her blood filling my nostrils. She was being complacent and going along with me to keep me away from her daughters. Hoping I would forget about her children and be content with her.
Days passed, I hardly moved, I could not bring myself to care about my own body or mind. I had lost my family, again. Loving my mortal children was becoming too hard. I lost them all so young, so tragically. Even loving my immortal children was difficult, after all Alexander left me too.
Perhaps it was time to meet my immortal family. My brothers who were like me and who were waiting for me to rule over vampire kind. Wiping my eyes and lifting my head from Selene's rotting corpse for the first time in what was possibly a week, I surprised myself with the quickness I was able to use in snatching up a rat to suck dry.
The taste of the blood made me gag, but it still warmed me and gave me enough strength to hunt properly. I would need it to search for my brothers, to explain my absence and to ensure that I was supreme ruler over all. That decision was made later after I met my brothers, but it was the only way it could have been done, even know looking back at everything. I was made to be the Queen, the ultimate Creator.
Author's Chapter Notes:
My muse is pretty much doing whatever he wants and he wanted to write this. Enjoy. I promise only one more chapter before the boys show up again. :)
