Nick sat back on one of his lounge chairs overlooking the beach. His friends always teased him about this particular chair he was sitting on because it was one of those really cheap ones you could get at Walmart for ten bucks. A tacky blue with lime green weaves in it. The oddball of all his outdoor furniture. Yet, it was always the chair he found himself sitting in whenever his mood found him wandering out there in the first place.
It made him feel like a normal guy.
One of his friends was getting married today. He had forgotten. At one time, this friend used to be the one guy he would do anything to hang out with. They would stay up late talking in a pup tent on his friends lawn, about what they wanted to be when they grew up. They both had big dreams. There best friendship had lasted only a few years but despite that, they had always kept in touch. He had no idea what to give someone for a wedding. To him, it now seemed normal to give something really extravagant. So big that it was unimaginable.
He was used to playing Nick the hero. Just on a whim, he would fly ten of his friends down to Hawaii so they could have a real shaved ice and a surfing adventure. He bought them cars when they needed one, helped pay their rent, even hired them when no one else would. Because why not?
He took out two crisp one hundred dollar bills and placed them on the inside of the card, simply signing it, Love From Nick Carter. Maybe that was good enough. He hadn't even bothered to call and congratulate them when he had heard the news, nor did he bother to answer the invitation that was still lying on top of his fireplace.
He was a bad friend.
Truth was he didn't know how to be a friend at all. Lately it seemed like he stopped putting forth any effort at it. It was just something else he was bad at. He stood up, walked inside and placed the card on top of the fireplace. Where he was sure it would stay until one day a cleaning lady, who his mother would call out of frustration, would find it and throw it way. Not before pocketing the money inside.
He was never taught how to be a grown up.
It may seem like a funny statement, but it was so true that when he spoke the words to himself, they sent tingles down his arms. He was a huge little boy. He always has been. Still playing Nintendo till all hours of the night. Still afraid of the dark, and most of all still hated being alone.
He felt alone all the time.
When gorgeous girls threw off their tops and wiggled their breasts in his face, it excited him to no end but still, he knew they didn't care. There could be one hundred people surrounding him but he still felt like he was all alone. It made him sad. Sad and disappointed in himself. He wanted to be able to enjoy all that he had worked so hard for, but there was something preventing him from doing that. He only wished he could figure it out.
His cell phone rang.
He flicked it open to look at the caller ID. Johnnie Wright. How odd it was that he was getting calls from that man again. But Johnnie had once again taken an interest in Nick and it made him feel good. Anyone who seemed to take an interest in his career nowadays were few and far between.
Johnnie had come to see one of his concerts out of the blue and sat back stage and did nothing but told Nick how fantastic he was. How much potential he had as a solo artist, how with him at the helm, he could make Nick sore to new and unimaginable heights.
Only as a solo artist though.
He knew the boys would never agree to work with Johnnie again. He knew Johnnie felt the same way about the boys. Nick always seemed trapped in impossible situations like this. Once again maybe this was an opportunity just out of his reach. He decided to ignore the call for now. He had to do a lot of thinking on the subject.
He found himself wandering back to the great outdoors. He found his way onto his favorite lounge chair and sat back and took in a deep breath, the salty air tickled his tongue.
He closed his eyes and thought back to some of the conversations he had with his friend in their pup tent as children. Their goals were so different back then. Nick wanting to be a mega super star or the first human Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. His friend, opting to be an astronaut or a famous inventor. Both had ironically achieved their goals to a certain degree. His friend worked as a scientist in some laboratory helping to find a cure for cancer.
They were so different.
His cell phone beeped once again. He checked the caller ID and was surprised to see the number. At first he didn't even recognize it because it had been so long since it had shown up on any of Nick's phones.
Brian.
He was just about to answer but for some reason stopped himself. Maybe Brian would leave a message. He paused a few moments and just as he hoped, there were two messages waiting for him.
One from Johnnie, "Hi Nick, just wondering if you thought about my offer at all. Give me a call back ASAP"
And one from Brian, "Hey Nick...Gosh do you ever answer this phone? That's why it's a cell phone Nick, you are supposed to bring it with you and answer when people call..anyway, just been thinking about you and wanted to say hey..but you are probably out gallivanting and causing trouble somewhere...Just kidding, anyways, give me a call when you can..thanks buddy. Bye"
God it felt good hearing Brian's voice again. He felt like it had been years since he heard it. And maybe it had been that long. He was used to the other voice Brian had. Leighanne's Brian. He missed hearing HIS Brian, the one that actually acted as if he enjoyed being around Nick. The one that never rolled his eyes when something to do with the band was spoken. The one who looked at the Backstreet Boys as his friends, not as a job. Yup, it had been awhile since he had seen or heard from that Brian.
He played with the numbers on the phone for a minute. How he wanted so badly to call Brian back. How good it had made him feel to know that Brian even still had his number in his rolodex somewhere, but yet, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
It's too late.
That was his final thought before picking up his phone and dialing Johnnie back.
