Nick sat alone on the back steps of his patio. The day was warm, but a cool breeze kept him from putting on his bathing suit and jumping in the water. He felt the need to be active right then, otherwise he would have just slept the day away. That's all he ever wanted to do these days.
Party or sleep.
There would be no party tonight and he woke up with the dread that thought brought with it. The dread of being in his house all alone. Even his family were away. Otherwise he would have found himself over their bugging them. He placed his arms under his legs and rocked on the step. An act he has done ever since he was a child. Rocking made him relax. Even though it was beyond him to think of why on earth he would be nervous in the first place.
Maybe it was the fight he had with Johnnie. He had forgotten how easily the two had sparred back in the day. They could go head to head about any issue, all the time. Johnnie being out of the scene for as long as he was, made Nick forget that. Until he backed out of what seemed like a perfect deal with the man.
Johnnie came over to his house shortly after their phone conversation. It seemed right at the time. Moving on with his life. Moving away from the teeny bop image into a more adult rock type setting. Johnnie had laid it all out on paper for him, the new deal, with new management, possible new record company. All tied in a neat bow.
It seemed like the smartest thing in the world to do. That's what his Mom had told him anyway. "Nick, do it and never look back. Your fans will understand and in time so will they"
They meaning the boys.
But Nick knew better. None of them would understand, heck even he didn't fully understand. So, when Johnnie held out the pen to Nick, he pushed it away. Leaving his one time manager speechless.
But only temporarily.
"Are you insane?"
"No, I'm not Johnnie. This just doesn't feel right to me"
"It felt right to you up until ten minutes ago"
"It has never felt right"
"Nick! Stop being a child and make an adult decision"
Johnnie yelled at him for a little while longer, occasionally spewing insults to Nick's intelligence and integrity. He took it all in stride though. Everything with a grain of salt. If that's how the saying went. He was used to being insulted, unfortunately.
Thus ended the short lived transformation of the young Nick Carter.
He felt the need to stand up and stretch, letting out a yawn as he did so. Maybe he would go in the pool. Anything was better then just sitting there looking lost in his own backyard. He walked over to the pool, sat down on the edge and buried his feet in the cold water.
As the chill moved up his legs, so did that feeling of numbness. Not from the cold, but from life in general. Nobody said it would be like this. He was brought out of his thoughts by a sound of a bouncing ball. At first he thought he was hallucinating, maybe too much to drink mixed with the sudden realization that he was a failure in every sense of the word, but as the bouncing sound got closer, it was easier to make out the image doing the bouncing.
Brian
Nick stood up and squinted at the man who had his tongue out as he concentrated on the ball. Was this a dream? One of those weird flashback scenes you saw on Saturday Night Live when Wayne and Garth waved their hands in front of their faces and brought the past back to life?
As Brian got closer, Nick could tell he had a duffel bag in his other hand. Immediately thoughts of him and Leigh getting into a huge fight crossed Nick's mind. Did she throw him out of the house? The smile on Brian's face wiped that thought away.
"Did you take a wrong turn or something dude?" Nick said playing down his escalated excitement.
"Something like that" Brian said tossing Nick the ball.
"Everything cool?"
"Yup, just felt like playing some B-ball" Nick held the ball under his arm looking at Brian with bewilderment.
"Couldn't you play basketball at home? Or did they outlaw that in Atlanta?" Brian dropped his duffel bag and rolled his eyes at his young friend, motioning for him to throw over the ball. Nick only stood and stared.
"Nah, I play at home, but today I just felt like beating somebody" After the sentence was out of his mouth, Brian ran towards Nick, hit the ball out from under his arm and did a lay up shooting the ball directly into the hoop. Smiling he then tossed the ball back to Nick, who still looked more then just a little confused.
"Well, if you really felt like BEATING somebody, you should have played against your son because you know dawg....you don't stand a chance against me" Nick then as if giving more truth to his statement, shot the ball right from where he was standing. It landed in the hoop in one swish. He then stood there with a cocky grin on his face. Brian laughed "And who taught you how to do that?"
"Eh, I learned it from the best" They smiled at each other, the kind of smile that signified that things were how they should be just then.
Two hours and three games later, they sat all sweaty and tired next to each other with feet dangling in the pool. Nick towel dried his face and watched as Brian did the same. It was a close competition, but in the end Brian won two games to one.
The way it should have been.
"So, why are you really here Rok?" Nick looked over at his friend knowing that he really didn't care. He just wanted time to stand still even if it was only for a few hours.
"I don't know Nick..just felt like it"
"And Leigh?"
"Yeah, she's probably upset but you know what? She'll get over it"
"Are you okay?" Brian looked over to his friend and smiled at the concern he felt in those eyes.
"Yeah, I think. I have been feeling kind of..well..empty lately"
"Me too" Nick didn't look up, his concentration now was on the water and the circles he was creating with his feet.
"I figured as much. That's why I came. I thought maybe we could cheer each other up"
"Things will get better right?" Brian saw that kid again, the one who always needed reassurance.
"Yeah Nick, I think in time everything will be okay"
"Things suck now" Such a simple statement but so true Brian thought as he nodded at his sad friend.
"SO, can I stay here with you for a night? I could get a hotel room if you.."
"Yes, of course you can stay"
"Thanks man. Maybe we can order pizza and play video games and forget about life for just a little while"
"Sounds like fun to me" Brian nodded.
"Bri?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you came" Brian smiled at Nick and put an arm around him pulling him close.
They sat in silence. The kind of silence that felt comfortable, the kind of silence that close friends share in each other's company.
The way it should have been.
