When Nick Carter walked out of the meeting with the boys he felt good. Revitalized and happy. He wanted to show them that he was happy despite what the record sales might have reflected. He wanted to make a point.
He was doing this because he wanted to do it, not for the success.
So he had gone to that meeting smiling ear to ear. Chuckling the whole time over every little thing anyone said. Maybe he was taking it too far, but he didn't care. They needed to see him happy. It was that important to him.
He had skipped out on almost all the meetings leading up to this big one. He almost didn't show to this one either. What was the point? He was only there to agree.
He remembered a time not even that long ago, that he would have had a little fit if the guys had wanted this long of a break. Now he was the biggest supporter of it. He had his own life now.
And he liked it.
So, after saying his brief goodbyes and having a nice dinner with Howie and AJ, Nick left to go back home. He loved being home. That's where his friends were, his boat was and his freedom.
That is something he always felt he lacked growing up... freedom.
Now it seemed like he was pretty much free to do anything he wanted. Anytime he wanted. He decided to have a party to celebrate the hiatus. Any excuse for a party was good enough for him. So he called up his friends, most of which he barely knew. Kind of a friend of a friend type thing, and he had a huge party.
Monstrous was a better word for it.
He had enough property that he could make as much noise as he wanted and no one would complain. So he did.
Over 100 people showed up for the party. Pretty good considering it was planned in less then two hours. He sat back and watched as people he didn't even know jumped into his pool from the roof, played basketball, and danced on his tables. Knocking down things that were really expensive in the process. What was money though?
It meant nothing.
He made out with girl after girl. Nothing too intense just some innocent fun. The girls seemed to like it and so did he. No commitments, no I love you's just fun.
He was all about fun.
Fun was something he didn't have much of as a kid. That was until he realized at 23 he was still a kid. He decided after that realization that he would have as much fun as possible. You only live once.
Why not live hard.
After about his tenth beer, he decided to maybe try his hand at some poker. A game was heating up now in one of his many rooms that he hardly even used. He sat down and joined in. Putting $100 bills down as he lost.
He always lost.
He would do it purposely because some of his friends, people he had known for a long time, would never ask for money. He would find tricky ways like losing it to them at poker, to help them out. It made him smile and feel good, that's why he did it.
"You lose again Carter!" They always said grabbing the money from the table and pocketing it. Nick would only wink and smile.
The party went on until 5am. He wished it would go on longer. But by 5 they had all left. Leaving him alone with a huge mess. He kicked it aside and made his way back to his bedroom. Looking at his bed, he turned around and headed back down the stairs. Maybe he could find another party somewhere. It was early for most but for some night owl's, like he had become. It was still party time.
He liked to party.
So, he drove around the still deserted streets near his home and looked for a place that was opened. Seeing none he gave up hope and made his way back home. But suddenly, home didn't have the same appeal.
It was empty. Just like him.
So he turned and walked toward the beach instead. Grabbing another bottle of beer for the walk. The beach was lovely at this time of morning.
And Empty.
If he wanted to, he could take all of his clothes off and jump into the water. No one would even know. That was something he wouldn't do though. He would need a few more beers before that happened.
So he just sat with his empty beer bottle and listened to the waves crashing against the rocky shore. Resting his head on his knees. Wanting so bad to talk to someone, anyone who could take his mind of of things.
All he wanted to do was be happy...
