[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Leo sat at his old desk. He had a pencil in his medium green, three fingered hand. He looked at his drawing and began to put in more detail to his drawing. He looked at his drawing and smiled. He was not quite satisfied with the drawing yet. He wanted to add more detail.

He started on her shell first. Slowly, he placed the appropriate lines on the outline. He started on the lines closest to her shoulders and worked his way down. He slowly and painstakingly drew each line as if he were drawing the next masterpiece. Planning and almost measuring where each line should go, he placed the lines.

He never understood why he drew these figures. In fact, he had been drawing them since he was thirteen. Things like this seemed to come to him when he wanted companionship. He was always looking for it but never felt as if he had found it. Since he was still alone and still NOT Leonardo, himself.

After finishing the girl turtle figure, he worked on the figure behind her. It was a muscular figure with his hands on the girl's hips. The cheek of the male was against the cheek of the female with his eyes closed, seeming to be deep in thought. A pair of katana was visible, protruding from the back of the male's shell. Slowly, he added as much detail as he could.

He never showed these pictures to anyone. They just weren't the thing for the 'great honorable leader' to draw or think about. He couldn't help himself to not draw these images. They were mainly his feelings.

He had tried writing but when Michelangelo found the journal, it did prove to be disastrous since after that, the guys were in Leo's room looking for it until he burned it. Since Leo drew so rarely, he was able to hide his drawings. He found it easier to hide individual pieces of paper than a journal full of paper. Occasionally, he would put a few words about how he was feeling on the back of the drawing, letting what was left to get out out.

After completing the drawing, he looked at it. Then his eyes widened as he realized what his soul wanted to get out. He saw it was of him, holding the girl turtle that he had found the previous day. He looked at every detail of the girl. It was very life like. The only difference was that he had put an eye mask around her eyes and drew them closed. Then he looked at the image of himself. He looked happy, contented, and complete.

Leo's heart broke. He worried about never being able to have what his soul desired. Then again, he realized his training may prevent him from ever having her. If she was ever taken by the Shredder, he could be persuaded to do Shredder's bidding just by using her as a bargaining chip. Even if Shredder didn't use her, she still would have had the risk of being killed or even worse. He hated putting more people at risk.

He shook his head violently. His long mask tails flew around wildly when he did. He hated those thoughts of 'the leader.' They were starting to become him, taking over every bit of his mind and letting the real him be pushed back. God, I almost feel like a schizophrenic, thought Leo as he tried to push the 'leader' part of him back.

He cursed his leadership position. It was taking over his mind, never leaving him at peace to think like himself anymore. It was rare when he thought for himself since most of his thoughts put everyone else first. Thanks to this position, it put the whole world first and put him on hold no matter how bad things looked for him.

Why couldn't Raph, Don, or Mikey be chosen, thought Leo. He knew the answer to that. He knew it deep down inside of him. He hated it! He was the respected one of the four. He was the one looked up to when Raph wasn't around. HE was the one who had the natural knack for Ninjutzu. He was the 'perfect' choice for any ninja master to make leader.

He placed the drawing down and stood. Casually, he strolled over to an old book case in the corner of his room. Carefully, he pulled out a photo album and opened it with even more care. He leafed through it and stopped at a photo that he was always wanting to frame. The photo was taken with an old Polaroid camera. It was of Leo and Raph as young children standing together smiling, one arm behind the other.

He smiled as he remembered the days he longed for again, of him and Raph getting along. Raph, if only you knew how little I want this job, thought Leo to himself. He knew the title of 'Leader' wasn't great as it sounded. He couldn't deny that it was an honor but what you give up is too much. He hated the sacrifices he always had to make. Sometimes, he believed that becoming leader is the ultimate sacrifice in his life. He had to let the thoughts of a leader suppress his mind and it was doing its job.

Slowly and carefully, he closed the album and placed it back on the book shelf. He walked over to his drawing again and sat back down. Again, he picked up his pencil and started writing what was left for his soul to pore out. When he was done, he looked at what he had written.

On the paper, was written the words, "what I can never have."