Going for a good old fashioned boat ride was the best idea that I believe AJ has EVER come up with. It felt so good just floating away from all the bad stuff. As we coasted farther and farther away from the dock, I was able to relax. It felt so good. I placed my right hand on my left shoulder and started to massage a kink out of my neck. Currently, I had so many knots on my neck that I was always in pain. Too much tension in my life the totally oblivious chiropractor had said to me. I laughed. That was probably the first time I had laughed since I had come back.
It was actually Howie's idea that I go to a chiropractor. He said it would do me good since I had been roughed up. Of course when he had said the last part he was looking down at the floor. No one made eye contact with me at first. I couldn't blame them, it probably hurt to see someone they cared for be as weak as I had become. I was sure it was because I had let them down in some way. Sometimes, I fight that feeling. But it's always there running around the back of my head. They will never look at you the same way again Kaos.
"Whatcha thinking?" AJ said coming over and sitting down next to me. He quickly grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on his eyes.
"Not much"
"Woah! That's a stretch" Then he lovingly pat the top of my head, "I'm just teasing" I laughed but my attention was quickly turned back to the waves, the calming sound they made as they crashed into the boat. The gentle rocking that followed.
"My neck hurts" I said while I continued to rub the knot away.
"If you are hinting for me to give you a massage, this is NOT your lucky day kid" I laughed. AJ always made me laugh.
That was another thing I had looked forward to, when it was his turn to keep watch over "The baby" I rolled my eyes just thinking about it now as I had back then. When I actually heard Kevin use those words. Watch the baby. Maybe it was a codename or something but it was obviously me they were talking about. I had been in the next room, still on a sleeping pill subscription when the guys figured out it was too overwhelming for me if they all came at once. I heard Kevin say "Let's take shifts, we will stay with the baby a week at a time" He had whispered the word baby. Of course he had volunteered for the first shift. Like it was some ultimate sacrifice he was making. For my part, I would have been happy if they had all just left me alone with a large attack dog.
After Kevin and Howie, would come AJ's turn. When he would show up, I would have the best time. He never treated me like a kid. Sure he calls me kid all the time and we definitely have a brotherly relationship but our relationship has always been different. And that is what I had needed. The way he coped with the whole thing was through humor. Making light of the situation. I would wake up after a terror filled dream and after he ran in to see why I was screaming bloody murder he would find a way to make it all into some funny joke. No matter how bad it was, I would look back on it and laugh. That was his hope. Mine too.
"So, you okay then?" He asked quietly. He was probably afraid Howie or Kevin would hear and then the babying would start. I nodded in reply.
"Good" With that being said he got up and walked back to the bow of the boat and laid down on a towel.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I loved what would play in my mind when my eyes were closed to a bright sun. It was never dark but always a bright red. I laid my head down on the bag I had brought and just listened to the waves. The waves and Brian and Kevin's conversation.
"We can't keep doing this" Brian whispered to his cousin. "I mean I love the hell out of Nick but we have our own lives"
"I know. After the trial we'll give him some space and maybe we'll take a break"
"Yeah, I mean Leighanne has been understanding but when I told her I was coming back we had a huge fight. It's straining our relationship"
"Yeah Kris and I too. She wanted to come here"
"Not Leigh. She is done with this whole thing. She thinks I should be too"
"Kristin cares, but.." He paused, "It's just hard"
I thought about interrupting the conversation and letting them know I heard every word, but what's the point of doing that? You know my honest opinion is that Brian would've liked nothing more than to be done with the group. I'm not sure when his attitude changed from us being family to coworkers but I remember the first time I heard him utter those words my heart sank. Then when all the Joe stuff happened, it seemed like he had been revitalized. We were once again the most important thing in his life.
Now, maybe for B-Rok things are going back to normal. Hopefully that won't mean a return to how rocky our relationship had been. He hated me. I loved him. Still do.
"How do you think the trial will turn out?"
"I don't know Kev, but he better not go and see that bitch. I will be pissed"
"Brian he won't do that"
"I don't know Kev, he seems like maybe he wants to. He's been through too much. I hope that bitch gets the death penalty"
"Me too. Do you think he will go watch the execution?"
I hadn't even thought of that. Charlie had told me that if she was sentenced to death I would be one of the people who would be asked to attend. I wouldn't have to go. I don't think I would. From the sounds of it though, I could ask Brian to take my place. How could I in good conscience go and watch someone die? Even if it is someone who would have watched ME die. It didn't seem right.
"I doubt it. I just hope her stupid attorney doesn't grill Nick like he did the last time"
"I know what you mean, but it should be different now, she is already guilty. I doubt it will be as bad"
I was hoping Kevin was right. Because I couldn't be cross examined like I was the last time. I had held my own in court back then. Refusing to make myself sound like a victim. Afterwards though, I ran to the bathroom and threw up.
"I just want this nightmare to be over with you know?"
"Me too cousin"
Me three I thought as I let the heat of the sun help me drift off to sleep.
Joe looked around the lair of his little lamb. It was so easy to get into the house. David was right. No one even checked his ID badge. All he needed to do was flash it to the two policemen guarding the house. He had made up some lame story that he was there to adjust the security system. Not even a total lie, but they didn't even ask. This whole thing had been too easy. Thanks be to God.
He ran up the stairs and looked into Nick's bedroom. He relished for a minute in the memory of the capture. The surprised horror filled look on the face of his friend when he realized that the Mizpah lady was right there in front of his face the whole time. He stared up at the security camera. "Just like now" He said. He sat on the bed remembering the sound of Brian's tear-filled voice screaming for Nick on the other end of the line. He just stood there and listened for a while before even taking his unconscious sacrifice out of the room.
He laid down on the bed and grabbed the remote. Flipping on the news. He knew he would see his sister on one of those stupid all news stations. He missed her so much. The glow of her eyes when she was happy about something. The way she always seemed to calm him down no matter how sad or angry he had become. She would be enjoying this.
He heard her name and immediately looked at the screen. There she was, looking so tired and haggard. She seemed to have aged at least five years in that prison. He would have to make it up to her when this was all over. Talk of her trial and Mr. Carter's statement and testimony played on the newscaster's lips. He would be in court tomorrow. The guy had said. Tomorrow to attempt to condemn Trish to death.
He decided he had enough of TV, he wasn't sure how long the guys would be. So he got off the bed, but not before taking some perfume out of his coat pocket and spraying Nick's pillows with it. Trish's favorite scent. A nice wake up call. Then he took a small envelope and placed that under his pillow and laughed. He took one last look at the room and walked down the steps and out the door.
By the time I had woken up from my mid-afternoon nap in the sun, I felt completely relaxed and refreshed. I sat up and stretched. The strong sun temporarily blinding me. The guys laughed at my face as I squinted to see the time on my watch.
"Someone needs to invest in a pair of sunglasses" Howie said winking at me.
"I know, I know"
"So I guess maybe it's time to head back" Kevin said hinting for me to get up and get us moving. I didn't want to though. I looked at my four friends. They were able to read my thoughts without me even having to say a word. "It will be okay Nick. We will all be there. It's almost over"
"Thanks guys for being there for me" I was getting emotional. Maybe deep down in my heart I knew something bad was going to happen. People always say after someone dies, that maybe that person sensed it was going to happen to them. There's a moment, a bonding moment, when subconsciously, the person who is about to die will realize it and say something emotional. Like a good-bye.
"I just wanted to let you guys know how much I love you all"
Maybe that was mine...
