They say that right before you die, you see a light, and hear the sounds of angels singing. At least that is what my grandparents used to tell me. Maybe it was their way of helping me to cope with their deaths, maybe it was a way of having me come to grips with my own one day. But when I saw Joe charging at me with knife in hand, knowing full well I was going to die, I didn't hear angels singing, I didn't see lights. All I saw was hate.

This man hated me so much he was going to kill me, for doing nothing more then simply existing. Sure he called it love. He called me a lamb, even possessive calling me HIS little lamb, but when it came down to it, he hated me enough to kill me. I didn't run. I didn't try to block myself from the blow. In that moment, at that time, I wanted to die. I wasn't sure if I wanted to live in a world where people like this man and his crazy sister existed. I didn't think I wanted to deal with the pain all of this was going to cause. So I just stood there smiling as he came at me. If nothing else I wanted to show him that in the end, he didn't scare me.

Trish on the other hand had her own agenda.

"JOE! Wait!!" Joe stopped, dead in his tracks and looked back at his sister. When she saw that she had his full attention, she continued, "Baby, we have to do this the right way. Don't you think? I mean we have to do this the way it was intended"

He turned to look at me again and smiled. "I know. You're right. Mom was telling me to do it now"

"I know sweetheart. But don't listen to her okay? Listen to me" He walked over to Trish and hugged her.

I fell to the floor, I had no more strength. I couldn't deal with this anymore. I looked over to my friends, who I temporarily forgot were even there with a look of total defeat on my face. They all seemed lost in their own thoughts. I think their brains had shut down just like mine had.

Joe was blubbering like a complete idiot in his sisters arms. I forced myself up off of the ground and inched a little closer to them, not even caring about my miserable life anymore. I wanted the guys to come out of this okay. If I could figure out a way to get them out of there, I would die a happy man. So I inched closer and closer to them as she talked about their parents as if they were standing in this very room with us. To Joe, maybe they were.

Kevin was the first one to realize that I was slowly making my way over to where he was sitting. He started to fidget and play with the ropes that bound his wrists to the chair. They all did. Dave was looking out the front window, making sure nothing askew was going on out there. So I slowly walked past Trish and Joe and headed towards Kevin.

"But they hate me Trish. Mom and Dad think I'm a wuss"

"No they don't dear"

"Yes they do. She is telling me right now! SHUT UP I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!"

The pain was stopping me from making it all the way. I had to sit back down on the floor. I knew the cut wasn't that deep. Not fatally deep but it still hurt like a bitch and I had to hyperventilate before getting it under control. All the guys could do was look on in fear.

"I am not a wimp dad I will kill him! I will!" Joe was screaming. Trish grabbed onto him tighter, tears streaming down her own face. She looked over at me, I actually stared up at her. She didn't make a sound or a motion to let her brother know what I had planned on doing.

"You need to calm down Joseph. Mom and dad can't hurt you anymore"

"I know but they will never leave me alone. I just want them to leave me alone"

I was now only inches away from Kevin, choosing to crawl to him instead of stand up and face that level of pain again. He turned showing me his bound hands and I started to work at the knot.

"Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeon" He chanted like a mantra as I did my best to undo his hands but my own were slippery with my blood and no matter how hard I tired, I couldn't get the knot out.

"Nick he's coming back" Brian whispered. I bowed my head ready for whatever would come next. Joe grabbed me up from the floor and threw me to the middle of the room.

"What do you think you are doing little lamb?"

"Let them go Joe. Please" I begged, looking back at my friends.

"No, you stay...they stay"

Trish was now holding a gun. Loading it up with bullets. "Why the gun?" I asked.

"Because first you die then it's their turn"

"NO!" I screamed, tears of frustration finally falling from my eyes.

"Oh come on Nickolas, you didn't actually think I would let them live did you?"

I couldn't answer. I was beyond words or rational thought anymore. I just laid there not saying a word. Turns out I would die crying instead of smiling. Giving Joe complete and total satisfaction. Joe nodded to Trish and then he swiftly brought my already tired body to a full on laying down position.

"Now it will be done the way it should have been all along" He said grabbing the little knife once again in his hands, still red with my own blood. I looked up at Trish, she was standing directly over her brother like his shadow. The gun raised in the air. Pointed right at me.

"Father into your hands I condemn this spirit..." He was praying over me, I wasn't listening. Instead I looked over at my brothers. I wanted to tell them so much, beginning with how sorry I was for all of this. This shouldn't have happened. I could have prevented it all way back when. They had tears in their eyes and were all frantically struggling to break free.

I found my smile again. And I found my voice "I love you guys" I said refusing to watch the knife go up in the air. Refusing to look at death head on. I wanted the last faces I saw, to be the ones of the people I cared about. I closed my eyes when I heard Joe now screaming the words "Mizpah Nick!!"

Then the gunshot, it rang through my ears so loudly that I think I may have passed out. I felt something warm oozing onto me as I laid there. Then the dead weight. The smell was too much to bare. It was a rancid hot smell. The sound of screaming and crying forced my eyes open. I saw Trish kneeling beside me on the floor rocking back and forth. Crying hysterically.

I was confused. The boys were all silent and just staring at me. Was I dead? Dave walked over and pushed Joe's body off of me. It fell with a huge thud on the floor his glazed over eyes staring back at me. Tendrils of smoke still coming from the hole that the bullet had left in his head.

I heard a scream as the boys continued to struggle with their ropes. "Nick calm down. It's okay just calm down. Your fine Nicky. It'll all be fine" Howie shouted above the screams. Dave walked over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I was now sitting up, but I didn't remember getting that way. "It's over kid" He said. That's when I realized the screaming was coming from me.

Dave walked over to help loosen the others from their chairs as I sat staring at Trish gently rocking and patting her dead brother's back. As if he had a bad case of the hiccups or something.

"Eli Eli lema sabachthani" She kept saying over and over again. All I could do was stare. thankfully my screaming had stopped shortly after I realized it was my own mouth the cries were coming from.

Trish stopped. It was weird, but she just stopped and stood up. Like she was just able to turn off all of her emotions. She looked over at me and smiled. She really did have a great smile, but it was an unmistakably crazy one.

"I had to do it. I had to make things right. It was my calling Nick. I had to do it"

"Thank you Trish. I don't know how to thank you"

"Don't thank me. It's not over yet" Suddenly her voice turned cold. It made everybody look at her. By now Dave had managed to untie both Howie and Kevin and was now working on Brian.

"It ends today. It ends right now. I must make things right"

She once again grabbed the gun in her hands and I once again tried to hear that chorus of angels. The last word I remember saying was "NO!!!"