When the guys came running up, I had managed to gain control of my emotions, just barely. Kevin bolted through the door first. Running at full steam ahead. When he saw me just sitting on the floor he stopped dead in his tracks.
"What the hell is wrong?" He asked sounding more angry than concerned. I knew him better than that. I knew those words were filled with concern. I handed him the little sheet of paper. He looked at it, then looked at me.
"Where did you get this?"
"It was outside"
"When?" He quickly ran to the window. By now the other guys were all standing around my room. Not saying anything just watching.
"When we went for a walk with Pancake. I found it buried in the dirt"
"Why didn't you show it to me then?" He was yelling.
"Kevin relax!" Brian said, making his presence known. I hadn't even realized that he was there. I looked over at him and smiled, then I also smiled at AJ.
"When did you guys get here?"
"A couple minutes ago" AJ said now going over to Kevin and grabbing the note from his hands.
"Oh, I didn't hear you come in"
"Yeah, that's because you were to busy screaming" AJ just had to crack a joke, although the look on his face after reading the note was far from amused.
"This is old right?" AJ asked no one in particular.
"Of course it's old! This guy is dead!" Now Howie and Brian moved closer to see what exactly had us all riled up.
"Oh my God" Howie whispered when he read the note. That really wasn't the reaction I was hoping for. I was hoping that he wouldn't look worried. Because if D thought it was nothing then it would be nothing.
"Guys! This is ridiculous. Come on Joe is dead. I bet somebody just wanted to play a mean joke on you Nick" Brian said sounding like the voice of reason.
"It looks like his handwriting" I whispered. I found myself rubbing my arms to keep them warm. I felt a chill run through my whole body.
"No, Brian's right. I mean with Trish in the news, I bet this is some sicko's idea of a practical joke. Nothing more" Kevin said sounding stern. I knew he wasn't believing himself.
"But..maybe he isn't dead" I visibly shuddered, which I'm sure didn't help the already mounting tension in the room.
"He is dead Nick. Don't be paranoid" That did it. I stood up and looked at AJ.
"Paranoid? Excuse me, you have NO idea what it was like for me! No clue... so don't tell me not to be paranoid!" My words bit into AJ making him feel helpless. Paranoid. Yeah let's see him live through the hell I went through and NOT be paranoid. Even if I saw that Joe was dead. Even if I was the one to bury him myself, in my head he would always be lurking right around the corner. Paranoid!
"Okay sorry. Why don't we bring it down to the police" AJ suggested to Kevin who was still looking out the window. I have a feeling Kevin didn't think Joe was dead either. There was no way I was going to ask him though. Ignorance is bliss.
"Yeah that is a good idea" Kevin said slowly turning and taking the note out of AJ's hand. He ventured out of the room and down the steps. I watched out the window as he ran to the car sitting at the end of the driveway and knocked on the car window. He handed the guys the note and that was quickly followed by them getting out of the car and scanning the house.
"I'm sorry about calling you paranoid" AJ said placing his arm around my shoulder. I jumped at first but then quickly relaxed.
"That's okay"
"No, it's not. I remember in therapy she told us never to say that. I'm really sorry"
Therapy. How odd it was to go to therapy with the guys. It was like couples therapy with five instead of two. After this whole thing, I had my own therapy. Of course I did, but my therapist also recommended group therapy because it was such a traumatic event. We all had to learn to deal with it, for me of course it was the worst but all of us were victimized. It was hard for me to think about them being victims. My family and the guys didn't have to go through what I went through but still, they did go through a lot. I remember that one therapy session where AJ had mentioned I was just a little paranoid sometimes. She had gone on about how bad that word could be for a victim like myself.
I hated being a victim but now I was forever branded as one.
"That's okay AJ. It's no big deal. I hope I am just being paranoid"
"Me too buddy. Me too"
The rest of us finally decided to make our way to the living room. Kevin was already down there nervously flipping through a magazine.
"Well, what did the police say?" Brian asked, taking a seat next to him.
"They said they will check it out" Then he looked over at me, "You okay buddy?" I nodded.
"It will be nothing Nick. It's just a prank" Howie reassured me. I smiled, but inside I knew. I just had a feeling that things were going to get bad.
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As Trish was led down to the visitors room she rolled her eyes. She was tired of going over her testimony with her lawyer. Her penalty phase would soon start and her lawyer wanted her to take the stand and plead for her life. They had rehearsed and rehearsed what she would say right down to the tears falling from her eyes. She was growing tired of the routine. But as she was led closer to the booth, she noticed a different person there. A man she had never seen before. She took a seat across from the guy and looked at him suspiciously.
He was in his mid thirties and was very skinny. He was wearing a big brown overcoat that seemed two sizes too big for him. He sat across from Trish and smiled. Several of his teeth were missing.
"I have a message for you" He finally said. Trish moved in closer. She really examined him now. He seemed nervous. He was fidgeting in his chair.
"What is it?" She asked him.
He looked over at her and then down at his lap. With shaky hands he took a piece of paper from his lap and held it up to his eyes. Squinting, he attempted to read, "In you oh Lord I take refuge. In your justice rescue me and make haste to deliver me" He gulped. Then continued, "You will free me from the snare they set for me. Not shutting me up in the grip of the enemy, but enabling me to move about at large" He stopped for a minute and looked at Trish who seemed to be consumed in the words that were being spoken to her.
"Do you understand what this means?" The man asked. She smiled and nodded.
"Okay good, then I'll continue, For all my foes I am an object of reproach, a laughingstock and a dread to my friends. They who see me, flee. I am forgotten like the unremembered dead" Trish actually giggled, causing the man to look up once more. "I hear the whispers of the crowd as they plot to take my life" He stopped once again. Now looking at the guards.
Trish grew concerned, "What is the matter?" She asked him.
"He told me to make sure no one heard me say this part" Trish nodded.
Confident that no one was really listening, he continued, "Rescue me from the clutches of my enemies and persecutors"
Now Trish was excited. If she could have, she would have broken through the glass separating this stranger from her and kissed him.
The man appeared to be finished, looking at the back of the paper but not seeing anything else. "That seems to be all" He said. Then he let out a hacking cough.
"Oh my goodness, you sound awful"
"Yeah, I have an awful cold"
"Sorry to hear that. So do you mind me asking who gave you this?" Once again the man looked around, then in a whisper he said, "Someone who loves you. He was kind enough to give me $100 if I delivered this. He also gave me this coat off of his back. I don't have much"
"Oh I see"
"Yes, it's been hard living out on the streets. I am not a bum, just homeless, but thanks to this man, maybe I can get on track" She smiled at his innocence. Like a hundred bucks would get him back on track. Like he would live long enough to enjoy it even.
"Well thank you for cheering me up"
"It's no problem. I hear you are in a bit of trouble" Once again Trish laughed, "Yes, you could say that"
"Well, I certainly hope things look up for you" He said getting up to leave.
"They already are" She answered. The guard seeing the man leaving got up to escort Trish back to her cell. "Hey Mister?" The skinny man with the big overcoat turned around, "Yes?"
"Do you believe in God? Do accept him as your savior?"
The man thought about it for a minute and then nodded. "Yes, I guess I do"
"Good. Then peace be with you sir"
He thought it was an odd thing to say but just chalked it up to stress.
Trish however knew exactly what she was talking about. She felt bad that he would be sacrificed but it was all part of God's plan. And now she knew that without a doubt Joe was coming to rescue her. The man didn't read the whole thing for her, Joe probably figured she would recognize it as the 31st Psalm. The prayer in distress and Thanksgiving for escape. Yup he was coming...but when?
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We sat and had a great dinner, trying to forget about the little note I found earlier. I looked around the room at my brothers laughing and smiling. AJ talking about something that seemed so silly, yet no one really caring. It was each other's company that we were grateful for. Just like the old days.
We had sat around tables eating so many times in our tenure together, that we had taken them for granted. I know I did. Most times all I focused on was the food, not really listening or caring about what anyone was saying.
Now I did. I cared deeply. I cared so much that I wanted them to leave. If this nightmare wasn't over, did I really want them to be with me? I knew they wouldn't go anywhere though. No matter what kind of excuse I could possibly come up with, they would be here forever. Even after the Backstreet boys went away. They would remain.
"Earth to Kaos, come in Kaos" AJ said throwing a piece of bread at me.
"God AJ, don't you think you're a little too old to have food fights?" Kevin asked disgusted, yet smiling.
"You are never to old to have fun!" He said flicking some corn at Kevin. That was it, we started a huge ass food fight. It was a great release of tension.
So much fun. Being unaware of anyone watching us. But we WERE being watched...
_____________________________________________
"They seem to be having some fun" The skinny man said as he watched the screen of the boys eating at the dinner table.
"Yes, they certainly are. Would you like some more soup?" Joe asked the man. He smiled and wiped away a tear, "Sir you have been so kind to me, how can I ever repay you? You are an angel from God" Joe smiled. If he only knew how right he was. He wanted to admit right there that he WAS God but thought better of it.
"It's the least I could do" He said handing the man another bowl of soup.
"Aren't you going to eat any?" The man asked, "No that is okay. This cup is for you not for me" The man looked confused but then shrugged and just kept eating.
"Is there anything I can do for you? To pay you back?"
Joe was watching the screen intently laughing when Nick laughed, and mimicking every move the pop star made. Right down to wiping off imaginary food from his face.
"Actually you are going to do one more thing for me"
The man looked up from his soup, "Okay you got it"
Joe took another piece of paper and placed in the pocket of the man's coat. "You are going to deliver this note for me"
The man nodded, "Sure thing, where to?"
"Nowhere, I'm afraid they'll find it in your jacket"
"Who will?"
"The police"
"Mister, I'm sorry if you want your jacket back I promise I ain't stealing from you"
"Oh calm down I know that" The man calmed down but had a brand new look of panic in his eyes. He dropped his spoon and gripped his chest.
"I c-c-cant breathe" The man huffed out in huge gulps. Joe took a sip of his iced tea and walked over to the man once again, "I know... you are dying"
"W-w-w-h-a" He couldn't finish his word. Joe walked over and pat the man on his head.
"It's okay my son, soon it will be over and you can delight in knowing you have done God's work. You have taken the cup away from me and drank of it's poison"
The man was only gasping now. His eyes bulging, as tears pooled ready to spill out. "You know Psalm 31 was always one of my personal favorites. It has one of the best lines ever. Father into your hands I commend my spirit. I commend your spirit" He said to the man who was now only twitching.
When the twitching stopped, Joe walked over and took his one hundred dollar bill back. Then he looked back at the monitor were Nick and the boys were still having their little food fight. He went over and placed his hand on the screen and started to smooth the hair away from Nick's eyes. Soon. I'm coming for you soon.
He grabbed the dead skinny man and threw him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and smiled. His plan was coming along nicely...
