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Alex followed Joey and Chris as they joined Lance and JC on the bus. They had an eight hour drive to the first stop on the tour and Shae would be meeting them there. JC asked Alex if she’d like to ride with them seeing as she would be alone otherwise.
Immediately JC, Lance, Chris and Joey split up for a playstation basketball tournament. Alex, not mentally ready to deal with the yelling, moved into the kitchen area of the bus. Justin, who had been sitting at the table, stood up when Alex came in. “Hey.” He greeted her.
“Hey.” She replied.
He hugged her quickly. “So tell me, how was your Christmas?”
“Oh, you know…same old same old. Nothing really special. And yours?” She turned the focus of the conversation back to him before he could ask any more questions.
“Are you forgetting that you owe me something?” He grinned at her lazily and brought his face closer to hers.
“How could I forget?” Alex felt her stomach do a flip flop. She closed her eyes when he kissed her. He gently tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth and then prodded her mouth open with his tongue. Alex broke off the kiss. Justin ran his finger down her throat and bent his head to kiss her again. Much to Justin’s disappointment and confusion, she pulled away. Blatant fear flashed in her eyes before they were clouded over again. “Happy New Year.” She said, barely a whisper.
“I missed you Alex.” Justin hugged her again, this time a little tighter and a little longer than the last time. He held her out at arm’s length and looked her over. “You feeling okay? “ He asked, growing concerned. In the short week and a half that she had been away, it looked like she had lost weight and had barely slept. Her eyes were dull and lacked the playful twinkle that he was accustomed to seeing.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I had a little too much excitement over the holidays.”
Feeling a twinge of jealousy, Justin fished for clues. “Too many hot dates?” He joked.
“Not even close.” She punched him in the arm.
He felt a little relief. “You’re played out from running around after your sister’s kids, right?” Justin thought he Alex’s jaw tighten, but it was gone before he could be sure.
“Yeah, I’m the favorite auntie.” Alex’s voice had dropped to a whisper. “I’m just ….” She trailed off.
“Tired.” He finished the sentence for her.
She half smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yes, tired.”
“You wanna take a nap in my bunk? It happens to be free at the moment. “
“Really? Thanks! I’d be forever grateful.”
Justin dropped his arms from around her waist and led her to the back of the bus. He swept his bag off the comforter and folded it back for her to get in. Alex moaned as she lay down. “Ooohh soooo tired.”
Justin pulled the blanket up to her chin and cupped her cheek in his hand. He could have sworn he saw that flash of fear again. He brushed his lips across her forehead. “Get some rest.” He ordered before standing up to leave.
“Justin?” Alex called after he turned his back.
“Yeah?”
“Have patience with me please.”
His face softened. “Are you ever going to tell me what it is?”
“Probably not.” She replied, not making eye contact.
“Well then…sweet dreams.” Justin turned to leave. His brow furrowed. If he wasn’t confused before, he certainly was now. He heard a soft thwap by the bed and turned to see his pillow dumped on the floor.

~*~

Lance hit the pause button on the game he was playing and cocked his ear.
“No!”
There it was. He heard it again. He looked at Justin, who was now sitting up straighter and straining his ear towards the back of the bus.
“I thought Lex was sleeping.” Chris wrinkled his nose at Justin.
“She was.”
Lance threw the game controller on the floor and went to see what was wrong. Justin followed close behind. Lance found Alex thrashing around the bed and mumbling something he couldn’t make out. He sat on the bed beside her and shook her.
“Alex, wake up. You’re having a dream.”
Alex face was creased with fear. Sweat beaded on her brow. She continued to kick about the bed.
“Alex, wake u-“
Alex’s eyes popped open. BAM! Her fist caught Lance right on his cheek bone. He immediately let go of her arms and his hand flew to his face.
“What the hell…?” Justin muttered putting his hand on Lance’s shoulder.
“Oh my god, Lance!” Alex’s eyes were huge. “I am so sorry. I thought you were someone else. I’m so sorry.” She retreated to the farthest corner of the bunk and curled her legs beneath her. She rocked herself back and forth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” She said, over and over.
Lance went into the bathroom. Seconds later Justin heard the water running.
Justin sat on the bed. “Bad dream?”
“I guess.” Alex replied without looking at him.
“Alex, what is it that you can’t tell me? Why is it that every time I get close to you, you pull away? Tell me, I’ll help you through it.” He pleaded
“No. You can’t help.”
Lance came out of the bathroom and left the room at Justin’s signal.
“Alex. You can’t keep doing this to me. Playing hot and cold all the time. If you want me to care about you sometimes, well, I can’t do that. It’s all or nothing Alex. “
Alex gave an ugly laugh. “It’s not about you all the time Justin. There are other people in the world besides little ol’ you” She sneered.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Justin’s temper was beginning to show.
“Oh Christ Justin! Just leave me alone.” Alex turned her face towards the wall.
“Consider it done.” He left the room