Kevin was now setting on the porch, he thanked god that Bianca was safe right now, she was in need for some rest, and he left her along with Brian Nick Ross and Rita.

He had to drive back home to check on his mother, he was glad that Alison was helping her.

He closed his eyes and started remembering how his latest fight with Kristen started, it was really a bad one

"How could you tell them we are working on having a baby kris, you know the best we are not ready." He snapped at her as soon as they got in the car.
She looked at him and she was astonished by his reaction.

"Kevin we've been together for over 12 years don't you have this little desire in your heart to be a father?" she asked

"No, we can't have a child not now not ever" he was trying to focus on the road in front of him.

"But Kevin you can't say this not now." She told him tears being formed in her eyes

"What do you mean?" he suddenly pulled the car to the side of the road, and looked at her

"Kris Are you Pregnant?" he asked her

She looked at his eye and she didn’t believe that look that was in his eyes, she felt that he didn't want that baby she was going to have, even though she was still in her early weeks.

"Kris! Are you?" he was demanding to know the answer, she looked at him yet never spoke one single word.

"Please go to the backseat Kris." He asked her, he was like someone trying to keep his anger aside, trying not to reveal all his emotions. That was something she never expected him to do.

"I can take a cab Kevin." She firmly answered him

"You are not going to take a cab" he was trying to order her. She looked at him.

"Watch ME" she said and jumped out of the car, then harried to the nearest cab and disappeared inside it.

Why couldn’t she understand him, why he had to keep face this, he can't afford to be a father not with this huge bad feeling growing inside of him.

He was no good father and he knew that, he had this believe that he could never be like his father; he was there by his side when this painful memory started and he tried to overcome it but it wasn't even half the way to do so, not after seeing Rita, not after seeing the hate in her eyes.

The way she avoided him, the way she was ready to kill him only by looking at him, it was never his fault, he didn't mean to hurt her or her family, it was never his intentions to cause her sister's death; he loved her sister, that girl was his very first, the one he gave his heart to the one he wrote all his songs before meeting Kris, and even though he loved Kris but he still punishing himself daily for his lose was bigger that any other person.

In his heart he needed to see her, to remember her face her smile, and her sweet character.

He couldn't believe that he can't remember half of what he loved about her, he opened his eyes and found himself walking to the attic, pulling down the ladder and climbing.