“Sarah! Dad and Uncle Doug finished up our tent so we’re going to go down to the water and see if we can find an open canoe!” Casey yelled from a few steps down the road.
“Whatever,” I mumbled. “We’ll catch up.” I sighed as I watched Nick desperately trying to set up this tent. “Will you just look at the directions, please? We’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t.” I turned the instruction manual over in my hands, trying to study the way to put this thing together.
“I’ve…got…it,” he said slowly so he wouldn’t say something he would regret. I rolled my eyes and tossed the paper in his direction. I pulled the elastic from my wrist and put up my long dark brown hair. I watched Nick as he bent over to hammer something into the ground. God, this man was gorgeous. He was right. I needed to know what happened. I needed to know why he didn’t wait and what this Amanda girl had that I didn’t. “See?” He broke me out of my trance. I had to smile. He was right.
“Fine. If you have it under control, I’m gonna catch up with my dad and see if I can get a canoe,” I said and headed off down the path, completely ignoring Nick.
“Would you wait a damn minute?” He yelled as he caught up and grabbed my arm abruptly. I spun towards him and looked around.
“People are starting to stare, Nick,” I whispered. I tried to push the tears quickly filling my eyes to the back of my mind. I couldn’t cry in front of him. It wasn’t like I hadn’t before. It’s just I didn’t want to make myself so incredibly vulnerable. “Just let me go, okay?”
“We need to talk,” he muttered and continued to stare me down. His eyes were captivating. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
What was wrong with me? Was he serious? “You’re kidding me,” I shook my head. “What’s wrong with me, Nick? Shouldn’t I be asking you what’s wrong with you? Nick, I disappear for three months and I come home to…this.” Nick sighed and took my arm, slowly pulling me over to the side of the lake. There was a dock there, so we both sat on the edge and dangled our legs over. “Sorry. Just disregard that last statement.”
“I’m not going to disregard that, Sarah. We need to talk about it,” he mumbled and ran his fingers through his hair. “I understand why you’re upset…I do. It was really hard when you left, you know? I felt…lost.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he serious? “Nick, even your thick skull should be able to comprehend this…you left me multiple times to go on tour. Every time I was practically heart broken because you’re my best friend. I leave once for three months and you feel lost?”
“Sarah, everything happened so fast,” Nick tried to explain.
“I’m not going to ask you to explain why you’re marrying this woman,” I mumbled under my breath and looked away momentarily. “That’s not my place. But I’m also not going to try to understand it myself. It’s your life, Nick.”
Nick finally let go of my arm and I stomped off. I wasn’t interested in hearing the gushy details about how in love with her he was. I didn’t understand how in three months Nick could find the woman he was supposed to be with for the rest of his life. “You didn’t tell me.”
I turned around and folded my arms across my chest to face him. “I didn’t tell you what?” I sighed.
“I told you that I loved you before you left,” Nick sighed and walked up to me. I could clearly see the tears in his eyes. “I told you and you didn’t have anything to say back…”
“Are you fucking kidding?!” I wanted to yell and scream but I figured I already had a big enough audience from the attention Nick was drawing, I probably should just keep my voice under a whisper.
Nick frowned. “No, Sarah, I’m not kidding. Do you want me to recap?”
“No, I don’t want you to recap,” I rolled my eyes. I’d be damned if I was going to tell him I loved him now. There was no way I would confess to that. Not right now. Not after being slapped with his engagement. “Nick, if you’re going to stand here and tell me that you had no idea what my feelings for you consisted of, then either you’re dumber than you look or I did a really bad job at expressing myself. And honestly? I think I did a great job at informing you how I felt.”
“You said you couldn’t commit to me. You said that Africa was your top priority. To be honest with you, I took that as your way of easily letting me down,” Nick looked down at the ground.
I bit the inside of my lip. I understood how he could read my actions that way. And to be honest? Maybe it was better that way in the long run. Maybe this was what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to go away for a few months, confuse Nick with my mixed signals and him fall in love with someone else. Maybe that’s exactly how things were supposed to work out, rather not work out. Nick was famous. He needed a blonde Barbie to walk through the rest of life with, not someone like me. I imagined marrying someone and living in a big two story home in the country with blue shutters and a white picket fence, a lake behind the wraparound porch. “That’s exactly what it was. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.” I muttered and began walking again.
“Then why is this such a big deal?” Nick yelled, this time causing more heads to turn. “Jesus Christ, Sarah! One minute you make it sound like I’m evil for leading you on when all this time I feel like you’ve led me on. Then the next minute you tell me you don’t give a shit and tell me to basically go fuck myself.”
“I never told you to fuck yourself,” I rolled my eyes and spun back around again. This time, Nick was right there in my face.
“In so many words,” he muttered. He didn’t sound upset like before. Now he only sounded angry.
I sighed and took a few steps back. “You’re getting married in a month. Why does it matter anyway?”
He shoved past me. “You’re right. It doesn’t.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Interesting chapter! Let me know what you think :]
